Fall From Grace

I vaguely remember straddling a big black cock and another one behind me. He was buried in my ass. A third man had his cock in my mouth and I remember swallowing something. It was kind of slimy and salty, but I liked the taste of it. Hands were touching me all over and cocks were in me. I had orgasm after orgasm.

In this dream like state I was sucking cocks, BIG BLACK COCKS. I swallowed cum, I begged for more when they would stop for more than a few seconds. My orgasm's steadily washed over me, growing and growing until I passed out.

When I came to the sun was pouring through the window. I could see some men standing in the hallway outside the door of the room, looking in at my naked, used, abused body. I was sore all over. The maid had let herself in and was standing in front of the bed I was on. She had a stunned look on her. Her mouth open wide and a hand over it. She crossed herself in a prayer.

I looked around and saw that I was not tied. Everything was gone from the night before. I was alone, save for the maid. There were six videos on the desk and they had folded what was left of my silk dress sitting it next to those tapes. A note was on top of them. The maid left, saying she would be back later. I went to take a shower. As I stood in front of the mirror, naked, I saw writing all over my body. Turning I saw some on my back too. They had written on my body in black marker.

'Black cock whore' 'this slut likes black cock only' 'insert black cock here'

The last one had an arrow pointing down my back to my gaping open bottom. My GOD! They had taken me anally! I had hickies, bruises and red marks all over me. There was even an angry red handprint on one of my ass cheeks.

I stood in the shower for a long time, scrubbing and scrubbing. Cum continuously ran out of both of my very tender, sore holes. I got most of the marker off of my front, but the back wouldn't come off so well. You could still make out what had been written on me there. I got dressed and took the videos with me. I couldn't let anyone see them. See what a whore I must have looked like.

I stumbled down to our room. I knocked on the door twice before Ted opened it. Crying I fell into the room. Ted took the videos out of my hands and closed the door behind us. I stood there crying and Ted just walked away. He put those damning tapes in his suitcase that was lying on the bed open.

"Well I see that the proverbial slut whore wife is back from her evening of wanton sex. How does it feel to cut your husbands heart out and feed it to him? Did you have great fun at my expense last night? Did those black bastards 'do' it for you?"

Sobbing, I tried to come up with the right thing to say, anything to get Ted to forgive me for my behavior. I came up dry. I had no excuse, no reason good enough. Even though I had been repeatedly raped all night, he had only seen me naked, in an elevator, sucking on that black man's cock. His last view of his formerly loving and chaste wife had been of her acting like a slut. What could I have said that would have let him forgive me?

"I suggest that you get changed out of that dress and into something more presentable for the flight home. I don't want it known that I have a fucking slut for a wife!"

His words burned my heart. He was angrier than I had ever seen him before. I had destroyed our marriage in one foul night. He was at least taking me home, which was a good sign. Maybe he would forgive me yet. I could only hope.

"I am sorry Ted. I didn't mean for it to go this far. If you only hadn't gotten those magazines to read I would still have been a happy wife."

"DON'T EVEN TRY TO BLAME ME FOR THIS YOU SLUT! YOU went with those men. YOU were naked sucking on that man in the elevator. YOU 'danced' with them and let them touch you all over, even strip you naked in a crowded bar. I told you those were not my magazines, and they weren't. You just wouldn't listen. Your own husband tells you the truth as far as he could, and you just couldn't hear me. WHORE!"

His words stabbed my heart. They were true! Why hadn't I been able to just take his word for it? He had never given me a reason to not believe him. I had ruined my marriage and myself because of my own stupid desires. Desires that I hadn't even known I had. I hated myself so much right now. I had torn my husband's love, ripped it out of his heart, and thrown it in the gutter with my actions. Not only that, but I had stomped on it and kicked it away.

"Those magazines were not mine, they were Jim's, my bosses son. He is working in my department and since I am the department head, he works for me. I am responsible for everything in my department. Jim had been bringing them in and reading them out loud to different people. The women in my department were offended, and after several of them came to me in a small group, I knew that I had to put a stop to it. At first I just confiscated them, but he just brought in more of them. After a bit I had to really get tough on him. Do you understand the position I was in? I had to take the bosses son to task for his behavior. I had to lean on him and hope that the boss would understand. I probably mishandled the whole thing. That is the reason I had to go into work on Monday. My boss is probably going to fire me for 'being mean to his only son'. I couldn't tell you, anybody, for that matter. I tried to keep it as quiet as I could. His harassment of those women will have a very high cost I fear."

OH GOD! I hadn't really understood at all! Ted hadn't gotten those magazines. He had been trying to keep his job while punishing the boss's son for harassing coworkers. I had been so wrong, so terribly awfully wrong. If I had thought I had felt bad enough, this was even more than I could bear.

Arriving back home, Ted wouldn't talk to me. He moved his things into our guest bedroom and stayed away from me, his whore wife. I cleaned the house and stayed out of his way, hoping that he would come around. Days became weeks, weeks became months. During the third month after 'our weekend', I realized that I hadn't had my period at all. I was feeling sick in the mornings, and started to gain weight.

Going to the doctor I got the worst news I could have ever had.

"Your pregnant Jane, congratulations!"

I burst out in tears. The doctor was stunned. I had been given what should have been happy news, and I was crying.

"I'm sorry, didn't you want to be pregnant? I can send you to some people who will help you, if you need to make a decision about this pregnancy. You only have a short time to decide though Jane. You will need to talk it over with the father of the baby also, since he might have something to say about it too."

How could I talk it over with the father of the baby when there was no possible way that I could know who it was? I had watched one of the tapes from that horrible night and saw that over eight black men had used me. I had a need to know what I had been forced to do. Eight big black men had taken me in every way for hours. All of that cum, no wonder I had gotten pregnant. I had been in a sea of it for hours.

I left the doctors office and walked aimlessly for hours. Eventually I went home. Ted was already home and had a concerned look on his face when I walked in.

"Where have you been Jane? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Ted, I just found out that I am... pregnant. I have a black man's baby in me right now. I don't know what to do. I am against abortion, but a black child? I don't know what to do about this at all. I have lost you and now this. I don't want to bring a child into this world that I may not like. A child that reminds me of that night, that horrible awful night. But to kill it, it isn't its fault that I got knocked up. OH GOD! What am I going to do Ted?"

Ted was white as a ghost as he turned and walked away from me. I was standing alone, so very alone, crying. I had screwed up my life so bad. I couldn't believe that this wasn't all a bad dream. When my parents, family and friends found out about this, well, I would be truly alone and on my own.

I went to our bedroom, (I still thought of it as OUR bedroom) and threw myself on the bed, sobbing for what turned out to be several hours. Ted had disappeared and I didn't know where he had gone. When I finally got up I was drained. I had no emotion left at all. Numbly I set to work and made supper. Setting the table with two places out of habit, even though I had been eating in our bedroom since 'that' weekend.

Ted came in and sat down at the table. Where he had been I didn't know. I could plainly see that he had something on his mind.

"They arrested two men in Vegas yesterday. Two black men. It appears that they were filming a rape of a white married woman, and her husband managed to get help. Here are their pictures. The Vegas police would like a statement from you Jane, if you want. They would also like the tapes and the note they left. I told them it was up to you. It's your body, your life. Here is the number to call. You are supposed to ask for Detective Sergeant Johnson. He is in charge of the case."

I held myself still. Was it true, had they caught my rapists? How did Ted feel about that? What did this all mean to me now? Shaking, I looked down at the pictures of those two men who had used and abused me in a most sickening way. Even though it was only a picture, I had a fearful feeling strike me to the bone as I realized that it was them in those pictures. My rapists had been caught.

What would Ted do now? How could I explain this to him so he would understand? I had been raped; even though it had appeared to him that I was a willing partner in their lustful drive. I sat down at the table, Ted sitting across from me just staring at me. I could not tell what he was thinking. His face was inscrutable and distant.

"Ted, what are we doing? Have I lost you as my husband? Are you no longer my best friend, or lover? I mean, can I, or is there, a way to fix this mess I have caused? Is there any hope of you loving me again?"

This was the first time I had brought up the subject. Ted hadn't talked to me at all about that weekend since getting home. His silence had been a terrible price for me to pay. My tears were hot on my cheeks. I felt my heart thudding waiting for the axe to fall on my life as I knew it. What would Ted say now? What had he been feeling and thinking all of this time?

I looked over the table at him. Tears! He was crying silently. He had been crying for a bit because his shirt had dark spots where tears had been hitting and falling down his chest. I put my hand out, reaching out for him. He sat there, unmoving, and just cried. My heart was burning, I wanted so much for him to take me back and love me like he had before all of this had happened.

"The Detective said that they had used a 'mixer' drug on her drinks. As they drank and danced she never felt the effects of it. It was a new and different type of drug, to be used for treating certain types of clinical depression. Afterwards, they shot her up with a harder drug and used her. They filmed everything so that it appeared she enjoyed what was happening to her, even though she had no idea what was going on around her. GOD! I didn't see it Jane. They must have done the same thing to you. I should have seen it, I should have done something more to stop you. This hasn't been your fault, it was all MINE."

"Ted, you couldn't have known, I didn't know. I was the one who was drinking and dancing, all you saw was your loving wife becoming a slut in the hands of two black men. You couldn't have known that they had drugged me already."

"I should have known when I saw you in the elevator giving him that blowjob. You have never, ever done that for me, how could I have not seen that you had to have been under the influence of some kind of drug?"

"Ted, even I didn't know that I had been drugged. I was willingly doing that to him when you saw me. I tried to go to you when I got up, but you had gone into our room and they forced me with them. You had no way of knowing. When did the police call you? That is how you found out about the drugs isn't it? Wait a minute, how did they know to call us? I hadn't reported it at all, and I don't think you did either, did you?"

Ted jumped up and turned his back to me. I saw his shoulders shaking and heard him sob for a moment. His voice, when it came to me, was so distant, and soft, I almost couldn't hear him.

"I knew the day we got home. I called the Vegas police Department and reported it. They weren't too enthused with it until this other lady came forward last week. They knew that they had a serial rapist on their hands at that point. Or rather, two or more rapists."

"How could you have known the day we got home? You haven't talked to me about it at all in all of this time. You couldn't possibly have known that they drugged me at any point."

"I...I...watched the video's Jane. I saw them drug you on the first video. I don't think that they knew the camera had caught them sticking those needles in your arm. Either that or they just didn't care. From their talking back and forth I was able to find out that the first shot was a drug to get you high and more 'cooperative' to their use of you. The second drug was...it was a..."

"What Ted? What was the second drug? What haven't you told me? WHAT WAS THE SECOND DRUG TED?"

"Fertility, it was a fertility drug Jane. I knew from the second day home that you were probably pregnant. I knew that you had been drugged and raped and given another drug to make sure you got pregnant, all on the second day we were home. I knew it all this time and I didn't tell you, my wife, my only true friend in the world, what I knew. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about this at all. My feelings were so fucked up. I wanted you to have been the slut, the whore, and the cheating wife. I couldn't live with the fact that you had willingly gone with them to their room. That you had let them use you on the dance floor and sucked them in the elevator like a two?bit whore. My pride had been shot through and through. I had to have a reason to hate you for what I thought you had done to me, to us. I didn't know about them drugging your drink in the bar. I thought that you had done all of those slutty things on your own up until they had you on the bed in the room. I didn't find out about them drugging your drink until last week. Even then I had bad feelings about it. I should have let you know right away instead of waiting like this. I...I...GOD, I am so sorry Jane. Please forgive me. Can you forgive me for being such an ass?"

His voice broke up and he took his head into his hands. My husband was sobbing hard. My heart went out to him in his pain. I understood what he must have thought, seeing me seemingly wantonly chasing after those two black men in the bar that night. It must have been so painful for him, not knowing that I was drugged and had just acted out against my true love.

Standing I went to him and took him into my arms. Hugging his strong body, shaking like it was from his crying, was painful to me. I had caused this by my mistrust of his word on those magazines. Those fucking magazines. I had actually been the 'slut?wife' of some other mans dream, not my husbands. Together we cried for a long time.

Days later, after having talked to the detective in Vegas, I flew there to testify to a court recorder and several witnesses. The judge was very calm and direct, but nice in his own way. The detective ended up apologizing to me and left a note for my husband about that also. He really had felt bad about hearing my Ted's story, and not believing him at first. I am sure at that time he thought that I was crying rape because I had been caught by my husband fucking around.

Flying back I had some time to think long and hard about Ted and our marriage. I came to a decision just as the plane landed at the airport at home. I was going to do everything possible to be Ted's best friend again. I was going to try and put this whole thing behind me, and go on.

I had also decided to carry the baby to full term and then give it up for adoption. My feelings on this were mixed. I would have a constant reminder of that night in Vegas as long as I was pregnant. It would be hard on Ted and myself too. I just couldn't bring myself to terminate a child's life because I didn't want a child from a rape. Two wrongs didn't make a right to my way of thinking.

That was and is my choice though. What others would do in my circumstances is their own choice. Ted supported my decision, since he too felt similarly. We have gone to counseling now for three months. I am really starting to show. I should have the baby in about another three months.

We have lined up two sets of adoptive parents for the baby. They are great couples. The choice of who gets the baby will be left up to Ted and I, simply because we have so far, managed to keep the social services out of the loop. We will try to be as fair and even minded as we can. Both couples are interracially mixed, so this child will at least have somewhat of a chance to be free of taunts about his heritage.

Ted and I are also sleeping in the same bedroom again, together, although our sex life is nonexistent. I think it will come back some day soon though, since I have felt Ted getting erections at night. Constantly, it seems. Soon he will have to 'take' me and I am patiently waiting for that moment. I will give him all of me. Anything he wants and more. No more will I resist any kind of sexual favor for my husband. Ever. I have a long road ahead of me to 'make?up' for my mistakes of the past months. I just have to wait patiently until he makes that move.

If, by the time I have had the baby, Ted hasn't made his 'move', I guess I will have to 'take' him. I am planning on getting into shape as soon as possible after birthing and hopefully, Ted will still want me. I got rid of 'that' dress. I kept the others, since they are not really connected to that night. I plan on being a real slut for Ted in the privacy of our home, but public exhibitions will never again occur with me. I have learned a hard, very harsh lesson and the only person who will ever see me in a slut outfit will be my husband, Ted.

The one thing that I will say here is, if you are thinking about some 'fun' or extra?marital 'activities' be very, very careful. If you both think you want it, be even more cautious. Make sure that you have tried everything in your power to work out any possible problems and miscommunications. Don't be like me and assume anything about your spouse. After all, look what a mess I made of my marriage by what I thought my husband wanted. You need to be aware of each other's wants, desires, and needs, before you go 'outside' for fun or excitement. I will never go 'outside' of my marriage again. I will never assume anything about my husband either. I will talk and question, and most importantly, LISTEN to my husband. My love and trust are for Ted, and Ted only from now on.