Fallon's Final Fling Ch. 01bysoflabbwlvr©
Fallon McKenzie pulled into the Starlight Club parking lot, found an empty space beneath a lamp post, exited her Audi A4, and hurried toward the club entrance. She pushed open the heavy door, paid the cover charge, and then scanned the room for her friends. Despite the roar of dance music, loud voices, and even a siren that the bartender sounded every time he received a tip, the piercing laughter of her best friend, Selena Santana Salerosa (her parents were huge fans of Mexican music) penetrated the din and guided Fallon like a homing beacon to her group. She counted twelve heads crowded around two square tables pushed together to form one large platform. Eight bodies were crammed onto six chairs; the other four women were standing.
"Helloooo!" Fallon called before anyone noticed her. "I'm heeeere!"
The twelve ladies turned at once and broke into song:
"Here comes the bride,
Big fat and wide.
See how she wobbles
From side to side."
"Hey, I'm standing right here," Fallon responded, "and I'll have all of you know that since Ryan and I announced our engagement, I've lost fifty pounds, thank you very much."
"And Quashondra found them," Selena smirked.
"Are you starting already, bitch?" Quashondra taunted Selena. "I still owe you a beating for wrecking my car on New Year's Eve."
"Hey, that wasn't my fault," Selena responded. "The police cleared me of that mess."
"Alright, ladies, everybody settle down," Fallon said. "We're here to have fun tonight, OK?"
"Hey Fallon, did you make your goal?" one of the ladies at the end of the table asked.
"Almost. I missed by ten pounds."
"Ten?" Selena quizzed.
"OK--fifteen pounds. But everyone knows the last five don't count. I still think I look damn good and a helluva lot hotter than any you."
Fallon stepped to the table, turned a quick pirouette, curtsied, and then broke out into laughter. Selena stepped forward and gave her a big hug and kiss. The other girls followed in turn. Once the greetings were completed, Fallon took a seat and shouted for a waitress' attention.
"Put your hand down," Selena said to Fallon. "Everything's under control. Drinks will be here in just a second."
"So," Fallon asked, "what's the plan for this evening? When does the stripper get here?"
"I could tell you the plan," Michelle answered, "but then I'd have to kill you. And since you already bought the dress and it's too late for your father to get his deposit money back, well, we're just going to have to do our best to keep you alive until tomorrow afternoon."
"Yeah," Quashondra added, "the four-one-one is on a need to know basis, and since you're just a passenger on this party train, you don't need to know shit."
A waitress approached with a champagne bucket. She was trailed by a waiter carrying two more buckets, and another waitress with a tray of crystal flutes.
"OK," the first waitress said, "I've got three bottles of champagne, thirteen glasses, and appetizers are on the way. Do you want them all at once, or as they come up?"
"Bring everything out as soon it's ready," Selena answered. "We're a hungry group, and some of us get violent when we don't get fed."
"Yeah, I'll kill a bitch if anyone tries to come between me and my food," Quashondra snarled, eyeing everyone at the table.
"She means it, too," added Natalie. "I've seen her take down a girl scout just because she didn't have any cookies. And it wasn't even cookie season."
"OK, I get the picture," the waitress laughed. "I'll go check on your food as soon as I finish pouring your champagne--or would you rather that I check the kitchen first?"
"Nah, you're good," Selena answered. "We don't want this bubbly to go flat on us. Michelle's already flat enough."
"Eat me, bitch," laughed Michelle. "They may be small, but at least my tits are my own."
"Hey! These tits are mine," Natalie chimed in while cupping her hands under her boobs. "I certainly paid enough for them."
"Easy, girls, easy," Eva implored. "We're here to have fun, remember?"
"That's right, Eva," Fallon answered. "F-U-N."
The waitress poured the champagne, while Selena distributed the glasses to the entire table. Once everyone was served, the waitress left and Selena raised her glass in a toast.
"OK, OK, everyone pay attention. First of all, I want to thank all of you for coming out tonight to help us celebrate Fallon's last night as a single woman. I wish I could say that she was going to be giving Ryan her virginity tomorrow night, but we all know that ship sailed a long time ago. This bitch goes down more often than panties in a bathroom. Her shit's been tapped more times than a keg at a frat party. She..."
"Two guys!" Fallon interrupted, "I've been with two guys before Ryan!"
"Relax, Fallon," Natalie said. "She's just jealous 'cos the only dick she gets requires two D batteries and never calls the next day. And Eva too--she's blushing."
The girls all giggled.
"At least it doesn't watch football all day, fart, or leave the toilet seat up," Selena countered. "As I was saying, tonight we're celebrating this bitch's retirement from chasing dick. That leaves more for the rest of you hard-up sluts. Now, I have events planned that will keep us busy until early in the morning, so I hope no one has to be home before dawn. Let's all raise our glasses to an evening with lots of laughs, a little naughtiness, plenty of alcohol, and let's hope no one gets so sick they can't make it to the church tomorrow. Cheers!"
"Cheers!" the table shouted.
"Once we've finished eating," Selena continued, "the activities will begin."
"When does the stripper get here?" Fallon asked.
"Stripper?" Eva interrupted. "Nobody told me about a stripper."
"Bitch, all you ever think about is dick," Quashondra sneered at Fallon. "Don't your man give you enough?"
"Shut up, Q. I'm a virgin, remember?"
"Yeah, right, and my black ass is going on the hundred dollar bill. I wish I had a ticket to take a ride in your fantasy world. Where do you park your purple unicorn when you arrive for work at the rainbow factory?"
"Alright ladies, listen up," Selena cut in. "Natalie has dresses for the bridal party to wear. The rest of you get to carry around bouquets. And Fallon, I have your outfit right here."
Selena handed Fallon a plastic shopping bag. Fallon opened the bag and peered inside.
"OK, this is going to be fun," she said as she reached into the bag and pulled out a white plastic headband with a short tulle veil attached to it.
"Go put to the bathroom and change into your 'bridal gown,'" Selena said, while making finger quotes. "Natalie, hand me the bag with the dresses."
Natalie picked up a large zippered bag from the floor and handed it to Selena. Selena reached in and pulled out a mustard yellow, knee-length, satin dress that she handed to Eva.
"Did you have to give me the ugliest one?" Eva asked.
"Actually, I didn't," Selena responded. "I saved that one for Natalie."
Selena pulled out a pea-green dress with a ruffled skirt and huge bow on the back, which she handed to Natalie.
"Since green is your color," Selena said.
"It is not--especially not that puke green. Ugh!"
"It is now. And see how it's cut low to enhance your new cleavage? Enjoy."
"Woo-hoo. I can hardly wait to put this thing on and start strutting."
"What you got for me?" Quashondra asked.
"For you, my dear, I have something really special."
Selena reached into the bag once again, this time pulling out a bright pink satin dress with white flowers sewn onto the skirt.
"Oh, hell no," Quashondra cursed. "You know I don't wear pink. When have you ever seen me in pink? And I'm allergic to flowers, you know?"
"Shut the hell up. Take the dress and go change. Michelle, I haven't forgotten about you."
Selena grabbed a hanger and removed a bright orange dress, which she then held out for Michelle.
"Oh, so I'm supposed to dress up like a pumpkin?" Michelle asked. "Is this a Halloween party or a bachelorette party?
"Hell, I'll trade with you," Quashondra said. "Anything's better than this pink monstrosity. I'm gonna look like a fucking vagina in this mess."
"Your fat ghetto ass can't fit into this one, bitch," Michelle answered. "This dress might be made for a pumpkin, but not the 'Great Pumpkin.'"
"Give me a knife. I'm gonna carve me a pumpkin and then stuff your skinny ass in a crust and bake me some pie."
"Ladies, enough bitching," Selena cut in. "We're here to have fun, remember?"
"So, what does yours look like?" Eva asked Selena.
Selena reached into the bag a final time. She pulled out a cerulean dress trimmed in lace, with a halter top and kerchief skirt.
"What the fuck?" Quashondra howled. "The only dress that looks half-way wearable, and this stank whore is keeping it for herself."
"Stop whining. I asked all four of you sluts to meet me at Goodwill last night, and nobody showed up. So this is on you, not me."
"So that's how it is?" Michelle asked. "You're punishing us for having lives?"
"If you call working until 7:00 every night without getting paid overtime, and then going home to microwave a frozen Lean Cuisine dinner and watch Lifetime Movie Channel with your cat having a life, then yeah, I suppose I am punishing you," Selena answered.
"The only reason that Fallon made you maid of honor is because she was afraid of what you might do to her if she didn't," Eva said.
"She should have been more afraid of what I would do if she did." Selena replied. "We're going to have some fun with her tonight, ladies."
"Wooo-hoooo!" Fallon called from across the room. "We are going to party tonight!"
The women all turned to see Fallon approach. She was stuffed into a white tank top two sizes too small for her curvaceous body, and a white knit mini-skirt that barely covered her rounded butt cheeks. Her generous breasts were spilling out of the top of the tank. The veil covered the back of her hair, but stopped just past her shoulders. Fallon reached the table and twirled, revealing an inch of ass cheek when she moved. "Bride of Fuckenstein" was painted on the back of the tank in silver glitter.
"Wouldn't your husband love to see you now!" Natalie jeered.
"Maybe I'll wear it to bed tomorrow night," Fallon said.
"It's probably classier than what you were planning to wear," Selena scoffed.
"What would you know about class, Little Miss I-Get-Laid-By-A-Different-Guy-Every-Weekend?" Quashondra asked, her head snapping from side to side.
"At least I get laid," Selena responded. "When's the last time you saw a dick where you weren't stuffing dollar bills into a G-string?"
"Ladies! Ladies!" Fallon called. "We're here to have fun, remember?"
"I'm having fun," Quashondra sneered, rolling her shoulders.
"Let's go change," Selena urged, "so we can get the entertainment started."
"I'm so excited," Fallon said to the ladies seated at the table. "My last night of freedom. This is going to be epic."
Selena and the four bridesmaids retreated to the bathroom. Fallon poured champagne and chatted with the other guests while they waited for the women to return. Twenty minutes later, Selena led a procession of women in garish dresses from the restroom to the table. They heard catcalls and jeers as the costumed phalanx worked its way through the crowded nightclub.
"Don't you ladies look lovely?" Fallon asked.
"Shut the fuck up," Quashondra replied.
"OK!" Selena called to the table. "Natalie, pass out the flowers to the other ladies. Michelle, distribute these lists. Now, I want all of you to form into four teams. Each of the bridesmaids will be a team leader. The object is for each team to acquire all of the items on the list before Fallon completes her list. The last team to finish has to cover the bar tab. The members of any team that finishes before the bride get entered into a drawing for this basket containing a one hundred dollar gift certificate for Victoria's Secret, a bottle of Dom Perignon, a certificate for one night at the South Beach Ritz-Carlton, a deluxe vibrator with attachments, fur-lined handcuffs, a whip, and a mask."
"Did you just empty your closet?" Natalie asked. "Nobody wants your used toys."
"Pay attention, bitches," Selena snapped. "You stupid sluts could learn something tonight. And Natalie, your fake titties couldn't handle what I have in my closet."
"Fuck you, Selena."
"If I did, that would be the best sex you've ever had."
"I would, but I hear silicone is toxic. Now, can we get back to business?"
"Please do," Eva answered. "Fun--remember?"
"Now, here are the rules," Selena said. "For all drinking challenges, you must get someone in the bar to buy you a drink. You can't buy them for each other, and you can't start a tab. OK? Bring me the empty glass and make sure I see it before you leave. If I don't mark it off, you don't get credit.
"All items must be obtained in order. You cannot obtain items from the same person more than once.
"For non-drinking items, take a picture with your team member's face in the picture. No face, no credit. Message the picture to my phone--the number is on your sheet. Every girl's face must appear in at least one picture or the team loses the challenge. Fallon, you have no teammates, so your butter face has to be in every picture."
"Butter face?" Fallon's forehead furled. "Do I have butter on my face?"
"She means--oh forget it," "Natalie answered.
"All items must be obtained on the premises," Selena continued. "You can use the restroom, the entrances, the dining area, the kitchen--anywhere on the premises.
"You cannot carry any cash or credit cards. In fact, leave your purses at the table. I'll take care of them."
"Like hell you will," Quashondra interrupted.
"Q--" Selena said.
"None of my shit better come up missing, or I'll fuck a bitch up, understand?"
"Agreed. Alright, any questions? None? OK, Fallon, since you're on your own, you get a fifteen minute head start. Ready. Go!"
Fallon removed her phone from her purse, set the purse on the table, and took off with her list in hand. She angled her way through the crowd, heading in the direction of the bar.
"OK, ladies," Selena said in a hushed tone. "Forget everything I just said. The only one who is playing scavenger hunt is Fallon. She's the real entertainment for the evening. The rest of you, just mill about and have fun. There will be an open bottle of champagne all night. Every once in a while, stop by here and drop off a shot glass so it looks like you're all playing the game. Keep an eye on our silly bride. When she's almost finished, I'll send everyone a text so you'll know the game's over. Any questions?"
"Yes," Natalie answered. "Why are you doing this?"
"Why?" Selena asked. "Because I owe her for ruining my graduation party. She got plastered and made an ass of herself. My parents are still pissed at me for what happened."
"That was four years ago," Eva countered.
"That's easy for you to say. She didn't get shit-faced at your party, hit on your Dad's boss and throw up all over his wife."
"It's true," Natalie interrupted. "It was embarrassing. I get nauseous just thinking about it."
"Look, we're just going to have a little fun at her expense," Selena added. "If she makes an ass of herself, it'll be her own party that gets ruined. By tomorrow afternoon she'll be married and won't even remember what happened. Then, I'll post the pictures on line when she's off on her honeymoon. We will all get a good laugh, and then I'll take them down before she gets back."
"Oh my god!" Michelle said. "Have you looked at this list? This is going to be hilarious!"
"You're kind of evil." Eva turned to Selena and grinned.
"Thank you," Selena replied. "But I'm aiming for World Class Badass Bitch. Let me know when I get there."
"After tonight, I'm sure the academy will be polishing your trophy," Natalie added.
"Enough chitchat, ladies. Get out there and have some fun."
* * * *
Fallon worked her way through the crowd as she angled herself in the general direction of the bar. Shot of tequila? That shouldn't be too difficult. Who wouldn't buy me a drink dressed like this?
Squeezing her busty, curvy, scantily-clad body between the men and women jammed together in the club became more and more difficult as she got closer to the center island. Her nipples were already protruding through the thin tank top--she left her bra with the rest of her clothes in order to increase her likelihood of quickly garnering male attention--and a generous amount of cleavage was visible above the scooped neckline. Still, she wasn't prepared for the hands that groped her plump ass and thick thighs as she worked her body through the crowd. Oh well--dress like a skank, get treated like a skank. I should have expected as much.
It took her five minutes to cover the last ten feet of floor. By the time she made it to the bar, no less than five different hands had grabbed her ass, and at least six crotches rubbed bulges against her as she squeezed past. She took a deep breath and pulled her shirt down before glancing first to the left and then to the right, looking for a harmless guy she could hit up for a drink. She spotted a young, well-dressed guy six feet to her left, and started wedging her way through the crowd in his direction.
"Excuse me," she said, "I just need to get through here."
A blonde haired guy gave her a dirty look, then backed up and let her through. He made a point of grinding his crotch against her ass as she passed him.
"Excuse me," she said to two over-dressed and over-jeweled women, both of whom appeared well above the average age of the Starlight Club. "I need to get through."
"Go around," the taller woman said, "we were here first."
"Whore," the other mumbled just loud enough for Fallon to hear.
"I'm not trying to cut," Fallon answered. "I just need to get over there."
"And we just need for you to go around like a good little slut," the shorter woman replied.
"You're right. What am I thinking? I should know better than to get in the way of two mangy old cougars hunting for fresh meat."
A gap opened, allowing Fallon to scoot behind the two women before either could respond. She stepped in front of a guy trying to yell into a cell phone, and took a position next to her mark.
"Hello," she said to the young, dark haired guy. "I was wondering if you could help a girl out?"
"Hi," the young man answered. "What can I do for you?"
"Weeeell," she answered in an affected sexy tone, "would you buy a lonely girl a drink?"
"That's some outfit you're wearing," he said, his eyes examining her from head to toe. "I can't imagine how a girl like you could be lonely."
"You like?" she asked, fluttering her eyes and twirling around in a pirouette. "It's something I threw together at the last minute."
"Oh, really? I can't imagine your mother letting you go out like that all the time."
"OK. You're right. I'm getting married tomorrow, and this is my bachelorette party. We're doing a scavenger hunt."
"I thought so. My name is Chris, by the way. What do you need?"
"At the moment, just a drink. And I'm Fallon."
"Nice to meet you, Fallon. So, if I buy you a drink, what's in it for me?"
"Hmmmm. My eternal gratitude?"
"Got anything better than that?"
"Deal. Never say I wouldn't help a lady in her hour of need. What will it be?"
"Let me check my list."
Fallon reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper.
"OK, first item ... a shot of tequila."
"Bartender!" Chris called.
"What do you need?" the bartender answered.
"Two shots of tequila!"