Fallon's Final Fling Ch. 01

"Coming right up!"

The bartender disappeared, and then returned a minute later. He set two tall shot glasses on the bar, along with a small plate with two lime wedges and a salt shaker.

"How do you do this?" Fallon asked.

"Watch."

Chris made a fist, licked his hand, and sprinkled salt on the moist spot. He licked the salt, drained the shot glass, and then bit into a piece of lime.

"Interesting," Fallon said. "I didn't know there was a ritual involved."

"It has always been thus," Chris replied, bowing his head. "Now it's your turn, grasshopper."

Fallon licked her hand, sprinkled the salt, and then licked her hand once again. She lifted the shot glass to her lips, tilted her head back, and swallowed.

"Ewwww! That's nasty!"

"Bite the lime. It kills the aftertaste."

Fallon took a bite of the lime wedge.

"That's a little better. Thank you."

"And now there's the small matter of my payment?"

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you, cutie."

Fallon turned toward Chris, put her arms around his neck, and lifted her mouth to his. Chris turned his face to Fallon, lowered his mouth meet to hers, and pressed his willing lips against her moist mouth. When Fallon did not immediately back away, Chris pushed his tongue past her lips, searching for the back of her throat. Fallon felt a surge of warmth flush across her face. She responded by pushing her tongue into Chris' mouth. Chris took that as a signal to proceed. He wrapped his arms around Fallon's waist, grabbed a handful of ass in each palm, and squeezed. Fallon started to back away, but the heat spreading across her face and chest compelled her to do the opposite. She leaned into Chris, extended her tongue as far she could, and ground her crotch against his bulge. Encouraged by Fallon's response, Chris pulled her closer and rubbed his groin against her.

The two made out like teenagers for about thirty seconds. Eventually, Fallon regained her senses and backed away.

"Wow," she gasped. "That was some kiss."

"Mmm, I'll say. What do you say we get out of here and turn this into a private party?"

"I can't do that. I'm getting married tomorrow. And besides, all my friends are here. Yikes! I hope no one was watching me."

"Maybe later? One last fling? Mine could be the last cock you ever see as a single woman."

"Umm, no. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. But thank you for the drink, I really appreciate your help. I have to get going--I still have a lot more items on this list."

"Well, OK, and thanks for the kiss. And don't forget my offer. I'll be here until around one."

"Unless you get lucky with someone else?"

"Uh, you know ... you never know."

"That's what I thought. Good luck, and thanks again."

Fallon picked up her shot glass and headed back toward the table.

* * * *

Selena looked toward the bar just in time to see Fallon's veiled head as she was fighting her way through the crowd.

"Alright sluts, grab your glasses and scram," she shouted at the ladies seated around the table. "She's on her way."

* * * *

It took Fallon almost five minutes to fight her way through the crowd and make it back to the table. When she arrived, she found Selena seated alone, sipping from her champagne flute and posting updates on Facebook.

"One shot of tequila!" Fallon exclaimed as she slammed the shot glass on the table. "And let me tell you, that stuff is nasty."

"Did you get bar stock or top shelf?"

"I don't know. I got a shot of tequila."

"Hmm--I see. Hey, how about a glass of champagne to wash that taste out of your mouth?"

"Chris--the guy who bought me the shot--said the lime was supposed to do that. What the hell? Pour me a glass."

Selena reached into the bucket for a bottle of champagne, poured it into a crystal flute, and handed the flute to Fallon.

"Drink up, skank. You're the first to check in, so you're in the lead. Now go out there and get item number two before those other bitches check in. It'll freak them out if you get way ahead."

"I'm on my way, girlfriend. Fallon out."

Fallon raised her glass, drained the champagne, and left the flute on the table. She saluted in Selena's direction, turned, and headed back into the crowd. She pulled the list out of her pocket and read the second item. A magnum sized condom? This should be fun.

* * * *

"Hello? Excuse me? Hello?" Fallon asked as she tapped on a tall man's elbow. "Can you hear me up there? Can you see me?"

"I'm sorry," the man turned around and said. "I thought you were just another person trying push past me. I'm Andy."

"Hi, Andy. I'm Fallon."

"Nice to meet you Fallon."

Andy eyed her from head to toe, taking an extra moment to stare at her nipples poking through the thin tank top.

"Would you like to go find a quiet corner where we can talk?" he asked, lifting his eye brow.

"Thanks, but that won't be necessary."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"No thanks. I just have to ask you something."

"Go ahead--I'm listening."

"Do you have a condom in your pocket?"

"Wow! You don't waste any time, do you? I like a girl who gets right to the point. Sure, I have a condom. Where would you like to go? My place? Your place? Get a room?"

"No, no, it's not like that," Fallon answered, blushing. "I'm doing a scavenger hunt. That's the next item on the list."

"That's what you want me to believe. Maybe you already found someone else to go home with, and he isn't prepared. Could that be it?"

"No! Look at me. Would I be dressed like this for any other reason? This is my bachelorette party, and my so-called friends made me wear this outfit."

"You've got a point, I suppose. OK, you can have my rubber. I'll just have to pick one up later if I get lucky."

Andy reached into his back pocket and pulled out a foil-wrapped condom. He turned it over in his fingers a few times, and then handed it to Fallon.

"Here you go," he said.

"Wait--is this a magnum?"

"No. Does it matter?"

"Yes. I have to get a magnum condom."

"Wow. First you shoot me down, then you insult my manhood. I pity your poor groom. He's in for a hell of a wedding night."

"Hey! It's not like that at all. I'm just following the instructions on my list. I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way."

"It's OK. Listen--my buddy, Brent, always carries a magnum. He's had the same one in his wallet since 2009. Go tell him I sent you, and see if he gives it to you. If anything, it'll give him an excuse to buy another pack."

"Where is he? What does he look like?"

"He just went to the men's room. He's about 5'8", wavy red hair a little shorter than mine, and he's wearing a black shirt with white skulls on it."

"Shouldn't be too hard to find."

"Go wait for him outside the men's room, and good luck."

"Thanks."

"And if things don't work out tomorrow, come back next Friday and look for me."

"Ah--right. Thanks again."

Fallon turned and headed for the restrooms. There was a line outside the women's room, but the space in front of the men's room was clear. Fallon scoped the area but saw no one matching Brent's description. She staked a position in an alcove facing the restrooms and watched for her target.

A few minutes later, the door opened and her prey emerged. Fallon watched him wipe his hands on his pants, then set off in his direction as he walked away. She caught up to him just before he reached the morass of bodies standing on the edge of the dance floor.

"Hello," she said as she tugged on his elbow. "Are you Brent?"

"Um, yes," he answered. "Who are you?"

"Hi, Brent. My name is Fallon. Your friend Andy said you might be able to help me."

"Oh, really?" Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, not at all. I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my bachelorette party, and Andy said you might have the next item I need."

"What's the item?"

"A magnum sized condom."

Brent's eyes blazed in the dim lighting. His nostrils flared and his mouth twisted into a snarl.

"He told you? I'm gonna kill that sonovabitch."

"What's the problem? Why are you so upset?"

"It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand. Did he say I've had it in my wallet for two years? Did he tell you to check the expiration date before opening it? He's dead, that's all I have to say."

"Um ... OK ... I didn't mean to start a fight between the two of you or anything. I just need to get a condom and get going. Can you help me out, handsome?"

"Yeah. Sure. Take it. It's not like I'll ever get a chance to use it."

Brent reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and extricated the foil-wrapped condom. Fallon took the condom, turned on her cell phone light, and searched the label for the word "Magnum." Satisfied that she had the correct item, she turned toward Brent.

"That's just what I needed."

"If you ever need anything else, like something to put inside that rubber, you know where to find me."

"You guys are all the same."

"I had to try. A guy never knows when a girl will say 'yes.'"

"OK. Well, good luck."

"You, too."

Fallon turned and started to walk back to the table. He seemed totally deflated when I took his condom. Maybe I can cheer him up a little. She turned around, caught up to Brent just as he was making his way onto the dance floor, and pulled him aside.

"You deserved a better thank you," she said.

Fallon reached up, pulled Brent's face toward hers, and pressed her lips to his. She released his head with one hand and reached for his crotch. She grabbed his balls and rubbed his cock through his slacks while her tongue explored his mouth. His cock stiffened in seconds. She continued to rub it, oblivious to the onlookers watching her. Brent's breathing quickened, and she could feel the thumping of his heart racing against her chest. Fallon broke off her kiss and moved her mouth to the side of Brent's face.

"Thank you, stud," she whispered into his ear. "I think you're gonna get lucky tonight."

"With you?" he panted.

"No, I'm getting married tomorrow. But I'm sitting at a table with twelve horny women. I can send someone your way before the night's over."

"I'd love that. Thank you."

"My pleasure. If you're still here, look for me around one and I'll introduce you to them. After that, it's up to you."

Fallon turned and strolled in the direction of the table.

* * * *

"So, you're back already. What do you have this time?" Selena asked.

"One Magnum condom, as you requested."

"Hold it up so I can see it."

Fallon held the condom in front of her face. Selena took out her phone and snapped a picture of Fallon displaying her prize.

"How am I doing?" she asked.

"You're still in the lead. As you can see, some of those skanks still haven't returned with their first shot glass. We could be here a while."

"Make sure you let them know I'm kicking all their skinny little asses--and Quashondra's, too."

"I'll be happy to provide an update."

"Too bad we couldn't post a giant scoreboard in here. That way I could really rub their faces in it."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?'

"It has ignited my competitive streak."

"Since you're so far ahead, why don't you have another glass of champagne before you go?"

"Don't mind if I do."

Selena filled another flute and handed it to Fallon. Fallon downed the glass in one long gulp, turned the glass over, and set it on the table.

"Another one bites the dust. I'm off."

* * * *

Fallon found a willing participant for the next drinking challenge, drained a shot of Jack Daniels, left the empty shot glass on the table with Selena, and downed another glass of champagne before heading back into the crowd. She scanned her list until her eyes were able to focus on the next line of text. Obtain a pair of plus size thong underwear. Certain that she had misread the item, she turned toward the exit. She found a pool of light and read it again. Obtain a pair of plus size thong underwear. Is Selena crazy? How am I supposed to do that? It won't be a problem for Quashondra--she's probably wearing one, but what are the rest of us supposed to do?

Fallon stopped and scanned the crowd, looking for a heavy girl. This is no use. It's too dark and too crowded. She walked along the perimeter of the club, surveying the people sitting at tables away from the dance floor. The lighting is a little better in this area, at least. While scanning the tables in search of a likely candidate, Fallon spotted four girls around her age seated at a booth. Two were thin and leggy, but the other two were at least a size 16. I should know--I was just about that size six months ago.

Now, how to approach? This is weird. Shit. I don't think I can do it. But if I don't, those bitchy friends of mine will never let me live it down. I can't. Selena will clown on me all night if I don't. Maybe I can skip it. No, I have to do it. As soon as this song is over. God, I wish this was just another drinking challenge. Those are so much easier. Count to ten. Alright, here goes.

"Hi," Fallon slapped the table and shouted over the din.

"We already have a waitress," said a thin blonde seated at the end of the table.

"That's OK," Fallon answered. "I'm just looking for a little help with something. I..."

"Oh, I get it," a chunky, dark-haired girl interrupted. "You're doing a bachelorette party scavenger hunt, right?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"And you're the bride, right?" the blonde asked.

"Right again. You ladies are good at this."

"What do you need?" the chunky brunette asked. "A breath mint? A lipstick? A movie ticket? A tampon?"

"Ummm, let's see, how can I put this?"

"A condom?" the blonde asked. "I've got an entire package."

"You're such a slut," a thin redhead chided. "How much dick are you planning to get tonight?"

"Probably none, as long as I'm stuck with you skanks," the blonde answered.

The redhead stuck out her tongue and then replied "Good, that means more for me."

"Umm...none of those, actually," Fallon said. "It's kind of personal."

Fallon looked in the direction of the helpful brunette. "How about if you come with me to the restroom, and I'll tell you privately."

"Woo-hooo!" the ladies cheered.

"Got a meeting in the ladies room," the redhead sang.

"I'd say our bride wants to taste some tuna before she gets hitched," the blonde sneered. "One last chance to decide if she's making the right choice."

"No! Leave her alone!" the fourth girl reproached her friends. "Can't you see how difficult this is for her? Yvette and I have done this before--we know what she's going through. C'mon, I'll go with you."

An older but otherwise identical version of the first brunette girl stood up and took Fallon by the hand.

"Thanks for your help. My name is Fallon, by the way."

"I'm Celeste. Don't mind Lauren, she gets like that when she's drunk. Now, how can I help you?"

Fallon dragged Celeste to the restroom. There was still a line to get in, but it was much shorter than before.

"I don't know why, but I thought it would be more private here," Fallon said. "I forgot about the line."

"Just say it in my ear."

"OK. I don't now how to put this..."

"Just say it. I don't embarrass easily."

"I do."

"I won't hold it against you. I want to help you."

"OK. Here goes."

Celeste pulled her hair away from her ear. Fallon cupped her hand to block out some of the sound, leaned into Celeste's head.

"Oh god, this is harder than I thought," Fallon struggled. "OK. Here goes. I need a pair of plus size thong underwear."

"Say that again?"

"I need a pair of plus size thong underwear."

"One more time. I didn't catch the last part."

"A pair of plus size thong underwear!"

Fallon looked around and saw several girls laughing and pointing at her. She felt a wave of heat as her face flushed red. Celeste was giggling.

"I'm sorry, Fallon, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. I heard you the first time. But you have come to the right place."

"I can have your underwear?"

"I would happily give them to you, but I'm not wearing a thong."

"Yvette?"

"I don't think so."

"Then ... how?"

"I'm a dyke. I've already marked every lesbian, bi, and bi-curious woman in this club. Give me fifteen minutes, and I'll have just what you need."

"OK. Thanks."

"Stay here. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Out there."

Celeste turned and headed for the dance floor. Fallon followed her to the edge, and then stopped. She watched Celeste approach an older, chubby redhead that Fallon had already marked as another cougar on the prowl. Fallon separated her from the guy who was trying to dance with her, and guided her to a poorly lit corner of the floor. The girls touched each other as they danced, lost in their own world of lust. As the crowd pressed in against them, their contact with each other increased. Soon they were rubbing their bodies against one another, but in the compact, darkened corner--and with strobe lights flashing everywhere--it was impossible to differentiate them from any other couple.

Ten minutes later, Celeste emerged from the crowd. As she approached, Fallon saw several inches of black material dangling from her hand.

"Is this what you need?"

"I think so. Did you get the size?"

"I didn't look, but I'm sure they are at least a sixteen."

"Perfect. Thank you, Celeste. You saved me from hours of embarrassment."

Fallon reached for the underwear.

"Not so fast, sweetie," Celeste said as she pulled her hand back. "Delilah said this is her favorite pair of panties. They're irreplaceable. She wants to be compensated."

"I don't have any money on me. That's one of the rules."

"Luckily for you, she doesn't want money."

"What does she want?"

"Come with me."

Celeste took Fallon by the hand and led her onto the dance floor. The two cut their way through the crowd, until they located Delilah in the corner where Celeste had left her a few minutes earlier.

"Fallon, this is Delilah. Delilah, Fallon."

"Thank you for your help, Delilah. I don't know what I would have done without the two of you."

"Oh, it's my pleasure, I assure you," Delilah responded. "Shall we dance?"

Before Fallon could answer, the two older, larger women were swaying back and forth and rubbing their bodies on her. She had no choice but to mimic their movements and dance with them. The sensation was uncomfortable, but not entirely unpleasant. I'm the meat in a lesbian sandwich. What a way to spend my last night as a single woman. One more song, and then I'll move on.

One song segued into a second, and then a third. Between the pulsing music, the flashing lights, and too much alcohol, Fallon was losing track of time. This is kind of fun. After all, it's not like this is the first time I've ever danced with a girl. Ryan hates dancing, so this won't be the last time, either.

"So, Fallon, Celeste tells me you want to get into my panties. Is that right?"

"Uh, not exactly. I'm doing a scavenger hunt, and..."

"Oh relax, I know that already. Why else would you be dressed so--oh, what's the word I'm looking for-- provocatively?"

"Umm--I..."

"Don't be shy. I won't hurt you. I just want to taste you. That's not too much to ask, is it?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"This is what I mean."

Delilah stepped toward Fallon, leaned into her, and grabbed two handfuls of Fallon's hair. She pulled Fallon's face toward hers, parted her lips, and pressed them against Fallon's mouth. Delilah extended her tongue past the younger woman's lips, probing the edges of her mouth while she gauged Fallon's response. Her senses dulled by alcohol, Fallon parted her lips to accept the invader. She sucked Delilah's tongue deeper into her mouth, and then sent her own tongue in Delilah's direction. Fallon's face flushed as her body began to tingle.