February Stars: A Play

SARAH: (the tone is an attempt of confidence covering an underlying confusion) This is Sarah Jacobs. You know the routine, there's a beep and then . . . well, that's up to you. Anyway, just do . . . whatever.

(Another beep, then . . .)

RICHIE: (more urgently than before) Sarah! Please, for the love of GOD I hope you're screening . . . C'mon, pick up the phone . . . C'mon, pick up. Pick up, pickuppickuppickup . . . Okay, I take it you're not there. Look, I really want . . . no, I NEED to talk to you (stammering now) cause, I've, been, thinking about things, a lot of things, us, for one, and we really need to talk about things, cause--(BEEP! the machine cuts him off as he screams in frustration) FUCK!! (he slams the phone down on the hook) god DAMMIT!

(After smoldering in frustration for a moment, RICHIE, now resolute, exits. Lights.)

Scene 7 - Applegate's Office

(The curtain opens, and the lights come up on the interior of a high-rise office, which is shown by the projection of a large window showing a view of the skyline from downtown Chicago. The office contains some fashionable chairs and matching couch, an expensive looking desk, behind which is a hi-back chair. Off to one side is a mini-bar, above which is a wall covered with gold- and platinum -record plaques. In the high-back chair, sitting behind the desk, is APPLEGATE, rifling through some paperwork. On the desk in front of him sits all sorts of standard business regalia; computer, phone, mail boxes, etc. After a moment, the phone rings. APPLEGATE hits a button, and speaks.)

APPLEGATE: Yes?

(The phone squawks to life as LACEY, APPLEGATE's secretary, answers.)

LACEY: Sir, there's a young man by the name of Richie Benz out here to see you. He said--

APPLEGATE: Send him in.

(APPLEGATE hits the phone. He then gets up and walks preparedly around to the front of his desk. After a moment, LACEY enters and stops just inside the door, with RICHIE entering somewhat hesitantly behind. His eyes go wide as he sees the office. APPLEGATE just stands at the front of his desk, watching. A subtle look of satisfaction spreads slowly across APPLEGATE's face as though somewhere inside of him he were laughing his ass off.)

APPLEGATE: (with just a touch of cool) Not exactly the 'slimy little mid-rise' hole you were expecting.

RICHIE: Not exactly.

(RICHIE sees the view and reacts.)

RICHIE: Whoa.

APPLEGATE: Like the view?

RICHIE: (trying to cover) Not bad.

APPLEGATE: I like it. It helps--

RICHIE: (slightly nervous, but down to business) Uh, Mr. Applegate, you have a nice office, but I didn't come here for the view--

APPLEGATE: You came here to do business. (goes to make himself a drink) Good. Can I get you something from the bar first?

RICHIE: No, I'm tryin' to cut down.

APPLEGATE: A man with scruples. I like that. (thinking for a moment) Now, it seems to me that I've seen your name somewhere other than just band publicity. An underground publication, I believe.

RICHIE: Dull Needle Magazine, actually. I've been writing music reviews for them for about a year and a half now.

APPLEGATE: That was it. In that case, might I ask your professional opinion on something.

RICHIE: I suppose. What is it?

APPLEGATE: This.

(APPLEGATE produces a small remote control seemingly out of thin air, aims it at the computer and presses a button. The computer comes to life with the sound of TOMMY WILDE and Wilde Blue Riot. APPLEGATE watches as RICHIE takes a moment to let the music infect him. RICHIE sits back and listens, getting into it. After another moment, APPLEGATE decides that he is done waiting and hits another button on his remote, lowering the volume.)

APPLEGATE: Well . . .?

RICHIE: Well . . . it's good. In fact, it's really good. A good blend of jazz and folk. Everything seems to mesh really well; nothing lost in the sound, but nothing standing out too much either. A lot of good improv. In fact, you get a sense of a strong relationship between the band members from the way they play together.

APPLEGATE: All right. How about this?

(APPLEGATE once again pushes a small button on the remote and once again the computer comes to life with the sounds of TOMMY WILDE and Wilde Blue Riot, but this time playing something completely different. RICHIE gets into the music again, and again APPLEGATE turns it down.)

APPLEGATE: And . . .?

RICHIE: And . . . (quickly) They sound like a very strong rock band. Gritty without being too angsty, catchy without being too pop radio. Powerful but also understandable lyrics. Once again, instruments mesh really well, etcetera, etcetera. What does this have to do with why I'm here?

APPLEGATE: Would it surprise you if I told you that those two songs were recorded recently by the same band?

RICHIE: No, but I know what to listen for.

APPLEGATE: Really? Care to elaborate?

RICHIE: First off, the vocals are identical. Second, The drummer is the same; good solid rhythmic sense, but a somewhat sloppy improv style. The bassist is the same, too; matching the rhythm, but either overbaring and over the top, or so uninvolved that he does nothing but supply a back beat. Finally, the other two lead instruments seem to be very playful with each other, and with the drummer. It's all there, you just have to know what to listen for.

APPLEGATE: (ala Darth Vader in "Empire Strikes Back") Impressive. Most impressive. (APPLEGATE stops the music and puts down the remote) Tell me, have you ever heard of Tommy Wilde?

RICHIE: Sounds familiar. Why?

APPLEGATE: Because the two songs you have just heard were recorded by his band, Wilde Blue Riot.

RICHIE: Now I remember. He was on "Behind The Music" a few weeks ago.

APPLEGATE: How much do you remember?

RICHIE: I only caught a brief part of the opening. I really can't stand that show.

APPLEGATE: Well then, let me fill you in. "Wilde Blue Riot" was started in 1996 by lead singer Tommy Wilde, guitarist Taeli Jensen, and drummer Ash Furtthur, all 16 and all in High School. Three years ago, they added bassist Chris Peterson to fill out the sound, and have been my clients ever since. About a year ago, Tommy developed a habit for amphetamines. A few months ago, he overdosed and died, and the band has since been without a lead singer or driving creative force.

RICHIE: Yeah, that sounds like an episode of "Behind The Music."

APPLEGATE: I'm proposing that you join the band as their new lead singer.

RICHIE: Excuse me?

APPLEGATE: Is there a problem?

RICHIE: You want to throw me in as the lead singer to a band who just lost their lead of five years to drugs, and you're asking me if anything is wrong? (beat) How long have you been in the music business?

APPLEGATE: Long enough to know a good mix when I hear one. You couldn't be a more perfect fit if you tried.

RICHIE: Are you kidding me? I heard that music. That's not something that I can just jump into.

APPLEGATE: Oh, no? Top of your class at the Chicago Institute of Music, excelling at piano, guitar, saxophone, and composition. I think you can handle it.

RICHIE: It's not just the music. You can't expect me to just walk in there and have the same kind of relationship with them that he had.

APPLEGATE: I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to try to bring some stability to the group, to help them make music again.

RICHIE: What about the music? I can't just ask them to go from extreme ends of the scale to something a bit less eclectic.

APPLEGATE: You don't have to worry about that. The band's odd musical direction was due mostly to Tommy. The rest of the band's style is pretty solid. All they need is a frontman with a similar sound. You have that sound. (sees that RICHIE still has his doubts.) It's really quite a simple situation; you need a band, I have a band in need of a lead singer.

RICHIE: (hesitantly) I dunno . . . I guess I just don't want to show up and be treated like the new guy, the replacement. I mean, it's not like I'm Sammy Hagar.

APPLEGATE: And they're not Van Halen. I'm not asking you to try to be Tommy Wilde, and I'm also not asking you to try to lead them in some new direction. I'm merely asking you to be the guy out front, and to just be a part of the band. (sees that RICHIE is considering it, but still hesitant) But I understand your hesitancy. (genuine) I'm sure you want to think about your other offers. (This hits RICHIE right between the eyes) So, if you'll excuse me, I've got some other-

RICHIE: No, wait. (beat) No expectations, I just sing and play with the band, right?

APPLEGATE: Correct.

RICHIE: (really pushing himself) Nnnnngggghhokay. (beat) Okay, I'll do it.

APPLEGATE: (trying not to be to ecstatic) Great.

RICHIE: (aside) I need a drink. (heads for the bar)

APPLEGATE: (hitting the phone) Lacey, would you get on the horn to Gordy and Wilde Blue Riot and tell them they have a new lead singer.

(RICHIE pours himself a drink and notices the wall of plaques. Lacey squawks back over the phone.)

LACEY: Right away, sir.

(APPLEGATE hits the intercom, then walks over to RICHIE, and fixes himself another drink.)

APPLEGATE: It's done. We'll get you the band's music, and get them your's, and next week, we'll be in the studio.

(APPLEGATE notices RICHIE's interest in the wall.)

APPLEGATE: See anything of interest?

RICHIE: Just looking over some the names up here. Some really top shelf musical talent; Grenadine, Jefferson Mead, Hard Target, Aria Gordon . . .

APPLEGATE: And, maybe one day, Richie Benz . . .

(APPLEGATE clinks RICHIE's glass with his own.)

RICHIE: Maybe . . .

(The lights come down and the curtain closes.)

Scene 8 - The Top Twenty Request Show

(The lights comes up on DAVY LARSON, standing at center in front of a closed curtain. [NOTE: DAVY LARSON is a complete caricature of video jockeys; peppy, upbeat, and totally phony, like taking a disc jockey's voice and giving it form. Ham it up.])

DAVY LARSON: All right, we're back. I'm Davy Larson and you're watching the Top Twenty Request Show. We are up to the number eleven video of the day. Now, for the past five days the number eleven spot has been held by teen singing sensations The Believers with their first single that debuted at number ten a week ago. Their debut album will be hitting shelves next Tuesday. However, today we have a new video at number eleven. It's Wilde Blue Riot with the new single from their newest album in stores now, and it is the last video with lead singer and the band's founder, Tommy Wilde, before his untimely death a few months ago. The band's management has released a statement this morning saying that they have found a dynamic new lead singer for the band, and that they hope to get into the recording studio soon to start work on a new single and album. (breathe) All right! So, without further adieu, here they are at number eleven, Wilde Blue Riot! (pause) But first a commercial.

(Lights.)

Scene 9 - Plazacorp. Records; a recording studio

(The curtain opens on the empty interior of a recording studio, which is made evident by the Plazacorp. Records logo projected on the back wall At the back, off center, is a drum set, with mics strewn about like some sort of spider. Surrounding the drum set are three stools, all with mics in front. In an upstage corner is a booth with a window, recording equipment, and room for two people to sit. TAELI and ASH enter slowly.)

ASH: Wow. It's been, what, seven months since we've been here?

(TAELI's eye catches the center stool and stays on it. ASH waits for a moment for TAELI to answer, then turns to try to get her attention.)

ASH: Hey, Tae . . .

TAELI: (acknowledges verbally but not physically) Huh? . . .

ASH: Hey . . .

(ASH walks back between TAELI and the stool. TAELI notices, but still seems stuck in her own little world.)

ASH: (jokingly) Earth to Tae Jensen . . .

(TAELI doesn't react.)

ASH: (more concerned) You're thinking about him, aren't you.

TAELI: I can't help it. (painfully) I miss him. I . . . I love him. And being back here doesn't help.

(TAELI sits down and starts tuning her guitar. ASH tries to think of something to say.)

ASH: (tangent, but with purpose) How long have the three of us been together?

TAELI: (thinks for a moment) Fifteen years . . . since kindergarten.

ASH: Yeah, and in all that time it's always been the three of us. "Tommy, Taeli, and Ash; Wilde Blue Riot" (pause) I guess what I'm tryin' to say . . . I miss him, too. (pause)

TAELI: It's just -- It doesn't feel right. It's not the same without him.

ASH: Yeah, I know . . . but maybe that's the point.

TAELI: Meaning?

ASH: Meaning . . . I think that things aren't supposed to go back to the way they were. If they did, then Tommy wouldn't've meant as much to us as he did.

(ASH sees that his words are having an effect on TAELI, but she still doesn't cheer up. He sits down at the drum set and starts warming up. After a brief moment, ASH notices as GORDY MADISON enters the booth. ASH signals GORDY to stay quiet momentarily, then begins playing the drum part from "Shaft" by Isaac Hayes [this whole bit of business involving "Shaft" should be really big. Once again, ham it up]. TAELI turns and looks at him like he just grew a third arm, but ASH just keeps playing with a stupid grin on his face. He finally stops when it becomes obvious that TAELI is too busy laughing at him to come in.)

ASH: (childishly) C'mon . . .

TAELI: (still half laughing) No way!

ASH: (even bigger) Oh! . . . C'mon Tae!

(ASH over exaggerates a face of a sad little puppy. After a moment of disbelief in what she's about to do, TAE exaggeratedly gives in, making a big deal out of it.)

TAELI: Okaaaaaay . . . .

(ASH gives a goofy little cheer, then begins playing "Shaft". At the appropriate time, TAELI joins him. They play for a little while, then ASH signals GORDY to turn on one of the mics. GORDY responds, acknowledging. Suddenly, ASH stops playing and grabs the mic.)

ASH: (ala "Shaft"/Isaac Hayes) They say that cat Ash is one mean mutha- (cutting himself off in falsetto) Shut yo' mouth! (back in bass) Hey, I'm talkin' 'bout Ash.

(TAELI reacts almost immediately, turning to see ASH and laughing her head off. ASH notices, and keeps it up.)

ASH: (ala "Shaft"/Isaac Hayes) Who's the private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks-

(The p.a. from the booth squawks to life as GORDY cuts ASH off, laughing his head off.)

GORDY: Not you.

ASH: Aw, c'mon man, gimme some credit.

GORDY: What can I say, 'cept, Isaac Hayes you ain't.

TAELI: Hey Gordy.

GORDY: How ya' doin', Tae?

TAELI: Not bad . . . (trails off) . . . Gordy?

GORDY: Yeah?

TAELI: Can you do me a favor?

GORDY: Sure, what do you need?

TAELI: Could you switch on my mic and my monitor?

GORDY : Sure . . . you want me to start taping?

TAELI: Nah, I just wanna play somethin'.

GORDY: Okay. (switches on mic and monitor) You're all set.

TAELI: Thanks.

(TAELI begins playing "Glycerine" by Bush. After a moment, she begins singing the second verse. RICHIE and APPLEGATE enter, APPLEGATE to the booth and RICHIE to the studio. ASH and GORDY both notice, but they don't interrupt TAELI. RICHIE is genuinely entranced by TAELI. When TAELI finishes the verse, she trails off and stops playing.)

RICHIE: (genuine but vague) Perfect.

(TAELI spins around reacting to the presence of a stranger, feeling somewhat violated.)

TAELI: Excuse me!?

RICHIE: I'm sorry, I {*}didn't mean to just--

TAELI: (*) Who are you!?

RICHIE: Uh . . . I'm Richie Benz. I'm the new--

ASH: (semi-enthused) So you're the new guy.

RICHIE: Uh, yeah, I guess so . . .

ASH: Cool. Mr. A. gave us some of your stuff to read and listen to. It's pretty good.

RICHIE: Thanks. Same here. You guys are really something else.

ASH: Thanks.

TAELI: (not exactly mean, but definitely not friendly) Yeah, glad to see we have your approval.

(really awkward pause)

RICHIE: (with a sense of urgency) Look, I'm just going to put this out there. I know about what happened to Tommy, and, this probably seems kinda trite, but, I know what it's like to lose someone close. I'm not here to take over for Tommy, I'm not here to replace him, and I'm not here to lead the band. I'm just here to do what I love; play my guitar and sing some songs, and I'm really looking forward to doing that with you guys.

(A brief moment while a look passes between TAELI and ASH.)

ASH: Could you just give us a second?

(ASH grabs TAELI and they cross downstage, away from RICHIE.)

ASH: So, what do you think?

TAELI: (Thinks for a moment) I really don't know. I mean, he's kinda nice, and he seems okay, but then again, so did Chris, and we both know the kind of a hassle that's been.

ASH: Yeah, but I don't think he'll be another Chris.

TAELI: I hope not.

ASH: I'm sure he'll be fine. His music's really good, and like you said, he seems like an okay guy. I think we should just give him the benifit of the doubt.

TAELI: Okay.

(TAELI turns to RICHIE, this time with a somewhat friendlier attitude.)

TAELI: I'm Taeli Jensen, the clown with the sticks is Ash Furtthur, and the tardy drunk is our bassist, Chris Gardener . . . (trails off, thinking) . . . who should be here by now. (turns to the booth) Hey Gordy?

GORDY: What's up?

TAELI: Do we know what's keeping Chris?

GORDY: (sarcastically) I'm guessing hangover, but you know how the odds on that are.

ASH: Odds? Try a sure thing.

TAELI: (approaching the booth) Somebody should still try to get a hold of (*) him.

APPLEGATE: (from the booth) (*) Already taken care of. He's on his way up.

TAELI: Okaaay . . .

(awkward silence)

RICHIE: So, Ash, that's kind of a weird name. Is that short for something?

(suddenly, TAELI begins laughing uncontrolably. [The bit of business about ASH's name is another good spot to ham it up, especially for ASH])

ASH: (half serious, half joking) Shut up, Tae! (brief look [maybe a goofy face or rolling eyes] passes between them, then, to RICHIE) It's actually a nickname that Tommy gave me.

RICHIE: Really. Why?

ASH: This.

(ASH goes into an elaborate, fast-paced, upbeat drum solo, ala Garth in "Wayne's World", after which, he explains to RICHIE)

ASH: (having slight difficulty keeping a straight face) Tommy used to say that I was so hot on drums, I was already ashes.

RICHIE: (in disbelief) Reeeaaaly . . .

ASH: Yeah.

RICHIE: Then what's your real name?

ASH: Frank.

(Once again, TAELI begins laughing uncontrollably.)

ASH: Shut up, Tae!

RICHIE: Waitaminute, that means that your name is Frank Furtthur? Your parents named you after a hot dog? (quick rimshot from ASH) What happened, were you born in a sausage factory?

ASH: No, but I was concieved in one. (another rimshot)

TAELI: Don't listen to him. He's just bitter that his parents were mean enough to name him Ashley!

RICHIE: But he'd rather tell people that he was named after an Oscar Meyer wiener?

ASH: Usually it works as a pickup line. You know, footlong . . . (*) (rimshot)

TAELI: (*)Ash!

RICHIE: (*) Oh, god . . .

CHRIS: (*) Gettin' the new guy with the hot dog joke, Ash?

(Everyone spins around to see that Chris has entered.)

ASH: Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has entered the building. (rimshot)

(CHRIS gives ASH a quick mean look.)

CHRIS: (With attitude) So what's the deal, (taking out his bass) we playin' or what?

APPLEGATE: (from the booth) We're just waiting for you.

CHRIS: (With attitude) Fine, (plugging it in) then let's play. (Chris goes into an impromptu little bass solo)

TAELI: (a little more excited now) All right. Hey Gordy, what are we playin' first?

GORDY: Your call, Tae. Figured we'd just start off with some practice tracks.

TAELI: Okay . . . (thinks for a moment, then, subtly playful) . . . then let's play "Mama Said".