Finding Elvis Ch. 06

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Ted and Lisa both nodded. "She's right, Hawk," Lisa said. "Ted and I need to talk about it so that we can be frank with each other, and that means we need to do it privately. You can take us shopping together later. Right now, I need to do this my way." She pulled me to my feet and kissed me on the lips. "It doesn't mean anything bad. I still love you. Don't over-analyze."

"Pots and kettles, Lisa!" I said.

Lisa just smiled. "Give Ted a kiss and get out of here. We only have a few hours to shop. Though, if you don't see us at the party until later, don't worry. We might be late."

Ted kissed me while Gretchen and Lisa embraced in a hug. "Don't worry, Hawk. Everything will be fine," he whispered in my ear before releasing me and giving Gretchen a hug as well. "You two have fun. Be back here before seven. That's when the party kicks off." They opened the door and walked out, arm in arm.

"You think it'll be that easy?" I asked Gretchen.

She pulled me into a hug and kissed me lightly. "You think this is easy? This is the most complex, unlikely chain of events I could have ever imagined. Life is stranger than fiction. Come on. Let's go pry Devon out the fridge and get a move on. We need to get your hair done, find the perfect dress and go shopping for shoes." Then she kissed me again, but this time deep and hard, leaving me breathless. "And we need to stop at Victoria's Secret, too. Tonight's my wedding night and I want it to be perfect."

"My hair? What's wrong with my hair?"

-----

The next few hours were a blur of motion and people. Gretchen took me to an upscale salon where she seemed to know everyone by name. It was like some kind of reunion. Everyone was hugging and laughing. When she told them I was her wife, and that we were going to a social to announce it tonight, everyone stopped in shock. Then she told them we needed to be dazzling and dressed fabulously before seven.

I have never seen people bustle into motion like that. Before I could protest, I was dragged off into a side room and my clothes were virtually ripped off my body. Measurements were taken and I was given a robe to wear. A man that triggered my gaydar off the scale came in and blanched at the sight of me.

"What?" I demanded.

"Oh, dearie, I need two weeks, not two hours."

He started running his hands through my hair and tisking. "You don't get your hair done, do you, darling?"

I snorted. "No, I just use scissors to take it off when it gets too long."

"Yes, that's obvious," he sniffed. "Well, thank God it's long enough to do something with. I should be able to make this work without losing more than a couple of inches in length. You should be glad Vanity is here to save you from yourself, Hon. Even then, it will take all my skill to pull this off."

I frowned at him. "No one else complains about my hair, and what the hell kind of name is Vanity?"

"That's because they're terrified you'll break them, you sweet brute. Gretchen told me how you punched her mother-in-law. I wish I'd been there to see it. In any case, I'm called Vanity because it's what I am and what I do." He struck a stereotypical gay pose, right down to the tilted head and limp wrist. I laughed, and after a moment, Vanity joined me. "Now, darling, you sit down here so I can salvage something from this."

I'm surprised I wasn't chained to the chair. He and his assistants, who seemed to ghost in and out, did things to my hair. Then they were rubbing my face down with something smelling of lime and almonds. When my robe was pulled open, I tried to balk and was told that he was gay and my virtue, such as it might be, was safe, "so shut up and let me make you beautiful for your wedding night." More lotions were spread over my skin, and I couldn't believe I actually sat still as he trimmed my bush while chattering away as though everything was perfectly normal. Perhaps it was, for him.

When Vanity was done, women started in with clothes. First the frilliest set of black panties, that looked like they were made of silk, and a matching half-cup bra. Then came a parade of dresses, all in dark colors. Vanity kept saying no to perfectly good dresses, including a few that made me drool. None met his 'vision,' though, and I was about to put my foot down when he finally found one he liked. A little black number that looked too small for me.

"Put that on, Hawk. I think we can work with it," he said critically.

I was afraid I was going to tear it when I slid it down my body. It dropped down to my mid-thigh and emphasized my smaller than average chest. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. "This works," I said, putting my stamp of approval on it.

Shoes and purses came next and shortly the ensemble was complete. Makeup and the final touches were quickly applied and everyone except Vanity made their escape.

"You look delicious, darling!" he exclaimed. "If I was even a little straight, I'd be drooling all over myself. Let's go show you off to your wife."

He led me out from the back room and into the main salon. Gretchen was sitting there in a sea green sheath of a dress and her hair was piled up on top of her head. The way her eyes lit up and then devoured my body made me shiver with need.

"God, Hawk, you look good enough to eat. I think we should just skip the party and go somewhere private to talk about our honeymoon," she said huskily. Then she stood up and came for me, her hands reaching to touch me.

"Oh, no," I said, grabbing her hands. "You told Hans that we would go, so go we will. But, you can dance with me till your legs fall off."

Her laughter gurgled in her throat. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She waved at Vanity. "Thanks, V. I don't know what I would do without your genius. Bill me!"

When we arrived back at the mansion, the party must already have been in full swing because there were cars and people all over the place. Uniformed young men and women parked cars and were keeping the drive clear for new arrivals.

Gretchen climbed out and looked back into the Hummer. "Go out on the town and have a good time on us, Devon. We'll be staying the night, so you can call my cell tomorrow afternoon if you haven't heard from us."

"Have a good evening, eh," he said with a grin and drove off before someone tried to wrest the Hummer away from him.

At the door, we were checked against a guest list and admitted without incident. My sharp eyes picked out a couple of inconspicuous guards inside the door. Likely a ready response team in case someone tried to crash the party. I cataloged the heat they were packing with approval. I'm sure there were others scattered through the house, among the guests and out on the lawn. They probably had us identified before we stopped in front of the house.

Lurch was waiting just inside the door, as well. His eyes hinted at his disapproval before they moved over to Gretchen. "Miss Gretchen, Miss Shauna, the main party is in the Crystal Room."

"Hawk," I told him. "And don't call me Miss."

He sniffed at me. He actually sniffed at me. "I don't use nicknames, Miss Shauna. It shows an inappropriate familiarity."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away before I could grind my teeth down to the nub. I could tell that we were going to have trouble, and I didn't know what to do since he was too old to just beat into shape. Gretchen didn't even seem to notice how it riled me. She took my arm and virtually dragged me off behind Lurch.

The Crystal Room was huge and, as expected, glittering with crystal. An obnoxiously large crowd of men in penguin suits and women that were dressed to the hilt maneuvered in some complicated dance of conversation, dominance and challenge among each other. The women were a mixture of matrons with a haughty air and young women that fit more into the category of mistresses or escorts. That brought my eyes back to Gretchen.

She smiled back, misinterpreting my glance. "Don't worry, Hawk. I know this looks intimidating, but it's not that bad."

Then Lurch cleared his throat. "Miss Gretchen Werner. Miss Shauna Hawkins."

I started to turn on him, but Gretchen just grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. "Did you hear what he just did to me?" I snarled, exasperated. "Now everyone will be calling me Shauna!"

"So," she asked with a smile as we started mixing with the other people. "It is your name, and I think it's very pretty. Like you."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm doomed."

A cheery man with short brown hair and a genuine smile stepped up to us and threw his arms around Gretchen while she made happy noises.

"Uncle David! I didn't know you would be here! This is Hawk. I have the most amazing story to tell you, the best news!"

He laughed and kissed her cheek. "No time, Gretchen. The matrons are right behind me and I have to meet with the guest of honor."

He held out his hand to me and smiled.

"David Stein. Gretchen's mother was my sister. It's a pleasure to meet any friend of hers." He kissed her cheek again and let her go with a wave as he dodged back. "Wait for me after the party."

Her response was cut short by the arrival of a herd of older women with young men in tow. Almost ruthlessly, I was split away from Gretchen and by some process of crowd movement I didn't quite catch, shuffled to the outside of the group. Gretchen squawked, and I started back in before it occurred to me what this was. These old women were trying to foist their sons on what they thought was a very eligible woman.

With a grin and a wave at her, I let the eddies at the outer edge of the whirlpool push me clear. She rolled her eyes at me before succumbing to the people talking to her. I bet that would keep her busy for a few minutes. With a half turn, I spotted the wet bar and started for it before stopping in my tracks with a curse. No booze. I kept forgetting.

I was still weighing my options when a woman in her late thirties or early forties stepped up beside me and handed me a glass of champagne. I turned and looked her over as she smiled at me. "Good evening," I said with surprise that someone in this crowd would even talk to me.

"Good evening. I'm Vanessa, Hawk. You don't mind if I call you that, do you? I'm Hans' chef. You've met my father, Ivan. I brought you a diet Sprite so you would have something to drink."

With a sigh, I sipped the Sprite. "Thank you. Yeah, I've met your father. Forgive me, but he seems to enjoy irking me."

Vanessa quietly laughed. "He does that with everyone. Contrariness was invented for him. Still, he has a good heart under that stony exterior. You'll see. Hans wanted me to make sure that you knew he was planning on making the announcement about fifteen minutes after you arrived."

"I really wish we didn't have to do this," I muttered. "Fine, that will make me a really popular person, I bet. I don't see this crew taking it too well."

While we were talking, a nice looking man in his mid-thirties stepped up behind Vanessa. "Your canapés are divine, as always, Vanessa. I'll have to keep working to get that recipe from you." His voice was a nice, deep tenor.

Vanessa turned with a wide and genuine smile. "Kirk, you devil. You know it's a trade secret, but I'll tell you what. If you win the election I'll give it to you with my compliments."

"Actually, I was hoping to make an attempt at getting it over dinner tonight, after the party," he said silkily.

She laughed delightedly. "Kirk, you're the most eligible bachelor here at this party. Why would you want to go out to dinner with me? You must have asked me a dozen times in the last month."

"And you keep saying no. I'm not used to such stiff resistance and it entices me."

"You, of all people, should know why I've been hesitant about dating," she said with a little strain in her voice.

Kirk's eyes glinted and his jaw firmed. He nodded. "Yes, I suppose I do." He half turned and looked over at the edge of the room at someone. "And believe me, there are ways to deal with people like him."

Looking over Vanessa's shoulder, I saw Kat locked in earnest conversation with an older man. They were hunched over a small table by the wall. He had distinguished silvering in his hair and an imposing face. His suit bulged around his waist, but it was obvious he used to have a decent figure.

Vanessa turned and followed my gaze. "That's former Senator Cartwright. A very powerful man in some circles," she said without inflection as he looked back over the crowd with a predator's smile. He wasn't looking at me. He was looking in Gretchen's direction. Uh, oh. That didn't look promising. "Personally, I'm not very fond of the old bastard," she said. "He took me out once and it was not something I'd care to repeat."

"And if I have my way, you never will have to," Kirk said coldly. "That man is a blight on the face of the Earth and we would all be better off if he met the fate he so richly deserves. Don't judge all men by him, Vanessa."

Kirk shook it off and turned to look at me with a smile, reaching out to shake my hand. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Kirk Craig and I want to be your senator." That last was delivered with a smile and bit of ironic, tongue-in-cheek wit. I liked him.

"Then you better get ready to move to Texas, Kirk. I'm Hawk."

"I thought Ivan said you were Shauna," he asked, casually slipping his arm onto Vanessa's shoulder. She didn't shrug him off.

"Yeah," I muttered darkly, "he and I are going to discuss that later. Good luck on your run for senate."

When Cartwright excused himself from Kat's table, she had a smile of evil triumph on her face. Whatever she just did, it did not bode well for Gretchen, or me, I was sure.

"Excuse me," I said to Vanessa and Kirk. "I see trouble coming. You should go tell Hans that sooner might be better than later on that announcement, Vanessa.

Without waiting for a reply, I dove back into the swirl of people around Gretchen and fought the current to swim deeper into the swirl. Outraged squeals and exclamations trailed in my wake. I ignored them and forced my way in.

Through the crowd, I could already see that the Senator had cut through like a bullet through ballistic gel. He expertly plucked Gretchen from the clinging women and deftly guided her clear. He moved her to the far side of the group, of course, which only made it harder to force my way through. I set my drink on a passing tray and pressed on.

In the minute it took me to wade through them all, Cartwright had pulled Gretchen over to the more dimly lit area near the wall and was talking with his back to the room, blocking my view of Gretchen. As I approached, I could hear Gretchen responding to something he said.

"No, Everett, I won't. I'm not here to be your plaything and upping the amount of money won't change my mind. Just because we've had a professional relationship in the past does not allow you to put your hands on me and demand sex. Please take your hand off my breast." Her voice was calm and distant, with no anger. Firm, like one spoke to a dog.

I felt like I had caught fire with anger. No one touched my wife like that. I grabbed his arm and spun him around with a cry of surprise ripping from his throat. "Didn't you hear the lady?" His hand was still on my woman, but had been pulled back to her shoulder. "She said back off. If you want to keep all those fingers, you pull that hand back right now."

Perhaps that was the wrong way to speak to the rich and powerful, but I've never really been good at knowing when to back off or be subtle. Cartwright only tightened his grip on Gretchen's arm. "This is between her and me, young lady. Go back to whatever man brought you here and mind your own business."

"Take your hand off of her," I growled out through my clenched teeth.

Gretchen wrenched her arm free and slid between us.

He glowered like a boxer in the ring. "You haven't seen the last of me. I get what I want and no two bit tart tells me no. There will be consequences." He stalked off and Gretchen held me back.

"No, Hawk. Fighting here isn't worth it. I'll deal with him, and he won't like it," she said with a cold look in his direction. "Besides, I can guess who set this up. I'm going to kill Kat for this."

I let her start calming me down. "I don't know about this, though, Gretchen. The thought of you sleeping with him makes my skin crawl. We need to have a long talk about your job."

She raised her eyebrow. "Certainly, Darling. We can talk about yours at the same time."

"My job?" I asked incredulously. "What does my job have to do with this? This is about people like that porking my wife. Being a cop doesn't compare with something like that."

"Doesn't it?" she asked with a serious look. "You could come home dead some day. That seems to affect me a lot more than what I do affects you. People like him won't be porking me, as you call it. He's blacklisted as soon as I make a phone call. The other few I do have sex with are purely professional. Will you be having any sex with the father of our child and his wife? Will we? Hawk, I won't sleep with someone you object to, but I won't be told to change my life by someone else. Not Kat, not my father, not even you. You knew who I was, and what I was, when you met me."

"My job and your job aren't the same," I grumbled, "and neither is my sleeping with friends and you sleeping with clients."

"No," she agreed. "They aren't. But we're both very stubborn people, so let's not start with demands and ultimatums. I said we'll talk about it and we will. We have a party and our wedding night to get through first, though."

"Fine, I won't make demands, but we are going to talk about this," I said.

-----

It was more like half an hour before Hans was tapping a glass at the head of the room to get everyone's attention. My gut was clenching and I sipped at the latest in a row of diet Sprites that Vanessa had delivered to me. I was going to have to make a trip to the can soon, and I wished Hans would get moving.

"Everyone, I have several announcements to make this evening. May I have your undivided attention? Thank you!" He said, beaming at the crowd.

Off to the right, I could see Kat glaring at us in sullen anger. What did Hans see in her? I smiled back at her, earning a snarl. She truly was the in-law from hell.

Hans drew my attention back as he began speaking again. "You all know my daughter Gretchen." A murmur of agreement came from the crowd as he motioned for her to come up front with him. He slid an arm around her waist as she stepped up beside him. "I am pleased to tell you all that she was married earlier today in a private ceremony."

A flood of chatter and surprise came from the crowd as they did a collective blink and began looking for the spouse. I hid a grin about the rest of what Hans had said, because he was right big time. The ceremony didn't get more private than when even the happy couple didn't know.

"Allow me to introduce her spouse," he said with a smile at me.

I walked up and stood beside Gretchen, putting my arm around her waist with her father's. Hans was about to continue when Lurch stepped up and raised a glass.

"A toast for the happy couple! To Gretchen and Shauna Werner!"

The crowd was dutifully repeating that outrageous toast and drowned out my protest. "I am not her wife, you cretin!"

His self-satisfied expression told me that it didn't matter how much I objected. He had planted the seeds and I'd be weeding the garden for the rest of my damned life, curse him.

I waved my arms until the crowd calmed down. "We are not..."

Gretchen smoothly cut in and over-rode me. "What my beautiful wife means is that we haven't made a final decision on whether to share a last name or not. Let's just stick with Shauna Hawkins for the moment."

"Hawk!" I protested. "My name is Hawk."