Finding Karen

Karen let out a choked sob, "My husband... The Indians killed him and his parents. There was so much blood, so much screaming." She paused as sobs wracked her body, preventing her from speaking. "One of them grabbed me by the hair and put a knife to my throat, but another one yelled at him and he stopped. They just left me there."

Sympathy was obvious in Ken's features as he listened to her gasp out the tale between sobs. "I'm sorry about your husband, Miss. Do I need to fetch the doctor for you?"

Karen shook her head in the negative, and then said with her lip quivering, "What will I do? My family is in the East. I have no one here. I'm alone in a strange place."

"Miss, don't you worry about that none. You can stay at my place as long as you need. Maybe we can find some way to get back East."

Karen let him assist her to rise. "Thank you, but you've already done so much."

"Miss, wouldn't be right to leave you without kin or a roof over your head out here, especially not with Christmas coming. I told you it's nice to have someone to talk to." Ken didn't realize that he was holding her hand tenderly the entire time he was speaking.

Karen did notice, however, and the gesture made her feel secure. "Thank you, Ken. Please call me Karen?"

Kenneth smiled, "I will then. Now, let's get back to my place. That merchant fellow said the Sheriff in that town is looking for anyone who knows about that wagon. I'll get someone to write a letter for you."

"I can write," Karen told him.

"Well, that'll make it a whole lot easier. You could write a letter to your kin too, then. I'll have to get something to write on, don't have much call for it, on account of not being able to read, nor write."

"I could teach you, to repay you for your kindness."

Ken let out a surprised snort, "Well, I reckon it couldn't hurt me to get some learnin'. Let's get them writing things and get back to the house."

~~()()()()()()()()()()~~

Karen proved to be a good teacher, and Ken a good student. He was even able to read some of the reply from the Sheriff when it arrived several days later. The local lawman also sent a message with the letter that he needed to talk with Karen about the matter, to make sure she was the rightful owner of things found with the wagon. The man who delivered the letter and the message said the Sheriff would be around come morning.

Although she went to bed feeling good, Karen awoke deep in the night from a nightmare reliving the attack that had stolen her memory. She woke sobbing and distraught, rousing Kenneth. He walked over to the bed, to ensure she was okay and comfort her. When he reached her, Karen pulled him down close, clinging to his arm.

Ken climbed into the bed next to her when he could no longer stand in his groggy, half-asleep state. She showed no signs of releasing his arm, even when it appeared that she had fallen asleep again. Kenneth lay in the bed on his side facing her, his arm enfolded in hers, a little ashamed to be in bed with a woman to whom he wasn't wed.

As he started to drift to sleep once more, his shame faded, overpowered by the touch of her soft skin, and the sight of her sleeping peacefully once more. It was hardly unpleasant, after all, no matter how improper it might be.

Kenneth awakened early, and quickly got out of bed now that Karen had released his arm in the night. She had thrown the covers off at some point as well, and the sight of her clad only in a thin chemise sent a rush of warmth into his loins.

In the time since remembering the Indian attack, Karen had not slipped back into the distant state that had overcome her so often previously. She laughed at little jokes Ken made, and they generally got along well together.

For just a moment, he entertained a thought of courting her. The thought had no more entered his head before he shook it out and turned away from the enchanting sight of her on the bed, pulling the covers up over her at the same time. She had lost her husband to violence only a few months before, right before her eyes, and it would just be cruel to make her think about those emotions again.

He could still feel her arms wrapped around him the night before, no matter how hard he tried to push the sensation away.

~~()()()()()()()()()()~~

The sheriff slapped his hat against his thigh, saying, "Well, I reckon you about have to be the rightful owner of what was in that wagon now. Ain't nobody coulda known so much about what was in it unless it were theirs."

"I don't know what could be left," Karen said quietly, hugging her arms about her.

"Well, somethin' you didn't know about, obviously. There was a sack fulla gold under the seat of the wagon, enough for you to be right well off."

Karen looked up at the lawman with surprise, "Gold?"

"Yep. Yer kin musta been better off 'n you knew. That's why Barret wanted to make sure that the folk it belonged to got it."

Ken smiled and turned to Karen, "Well, that should help get you back East." Even though he was happy for her, the thought of her leaving was painful. No matter how hard he fought against it, he was becoming deeply enamored of the beautiful little woman.

The Sheriff put back on his hat and said, "I can send word to Barret, or I can just send a letter with you. He said he'd trust my thinkin' on it."

"We'll have to sleep in the wagon, it'll take longer than a day to get there," Ken explained to Karen.

She shivered and whispered, "I don't know if I can."

Turning to the other man, Ken asked, "Would this Barret give me her things, if you told him it was me that was comin'?"

"I reckon so. I could send 'round a deputy to keep an eye on the place, if you'll be staying Ma'am," the Sheriff offered.

"I don't want to trouble anyone," she responded softly.

The lawman laughed, "Ain't no trouble at all. A couple of them boys ain't been earning their pay lately. They could do with a little cold and wet."

Ken asked, "You want me to go get them things for you? I could go today. I'm sure you're yearnin' for home."

Even though the thought of home, her real home, did warm her heart, Karen did not relish the trip. The thought of leaving Ken also caused her a little twinge of regret as well. He was everything she hoped her husband would become once they were married, despite knowing his nature. She had thought she could change him, but he proved her wrong quite quickly. Perhaps it would be best if I didn't see Ken for a couple of days, she thought.

Nodding her head, she said, "If you don't mind."

"I'll get the wagon hitched up, then. You should have enough to eat while I'm gone."

The Sheriff laughed, adding, "And I'll tell one of them lazy boys that they're gonna be ridin' out this way regular for a couple days."

~~()()()()()()()()()()~~

Karen found that she stared after Ken long after he vanished from sight in the distance. Sighing, she finally turned away from the window. Catching a tangled lock of her hair between her fingers, she thought that it could use a washing, as could the rest of her. Although Ken said he thought bad weather was coming again, for now it was quite warm in the house, despite the season. Her hair should dry well enough that she wouldn't catch cold, if she did it now.

She felt and smelled quite a bit better after a good washing. The deputy greeted her, shortly afterward, and she saw him twice more during the day. The Sheriff also came to call, to make sure the other man was doing what he was told, and that she didn't need anything. The house was lonely without Ken, even though she took on his chores — at least those she could manage — to keep her busy once her hair dried.

The bed also felt empty when she lay down that night, and that thought caused her cheeks to burn. She didn't know what had possessed her to grab Ken's arm, or to hold it so tight that he couldn't possibly retreat without being rude. Even though she had feigned sleep, she had lain awake for quite some time, enjoying the feeling of holding him, even if it was just his arm. He helped to chase the nightmare away, letting her sleep comfortably again. She fell asleep thinking about it.

Once again, she awakened deep in the night. It was not the horrors that awakened her this time, however, but something equally distressing. She remembered the dream vividly, and shame burned in her breast for dreaming such things. She had dreamed of Ken lying with her, not taking her as her husband had, but loving her as a man should love a woman.

She could still hear every sound, and feel every touch of the dream. It was so real that she found it hard to believe he was not in the bed with her when she awakened. The aching need the dream caused in her loins was nearly unbearable, and before she realized what she was doing, her hand crept down to relieve that pressure.

She snatched her hand away from her heat after a moment, ashamed that she was touching herself. Karen remembered vividly when her mother had caught her doing this. The cuff upside her head and the scolding about dirty things a good Christian girl should not do echoed in her mind almost as vividly as the dream.

Almost.

Karen frowned, thinking, I did the right thing, what a good Christian woman should do. I married the man my parents wanted me to, and I submitted to him, as a proper wife should. All that earned me was being here and watching him die.

The insistent need from her loins continued, unabated, and she wondered why God would judge someone for feeling good. It didn't sound like the loving God she had always been taught watched over folks who believe in him. Those feelings were good, and they were a gift from him, why would he punish someone for rejoicing in that gift?

Once again, her hand crept toward her need, and this time she pulled up her chemise to expose her sex to her hand. The shame was still there, but it was dulled now. Her arousal was quickly overshadowing her inhibitions. Ken had felt so good in her arms, and he was so much unlike her thoughtless husband. What would it be like for him to love me? She wondered as her fingers stroked her folds.

Karen's body came alive, her nipples pressing hard against the thin material of her chemise. She could smell the musty scent of her arousal in the air as her fingers moved ever faster. Her eyes closed, and once again she lay beneath Ken, feeling pleasure such as she had never imagined. Her fingers moved faster, the sounds of them rubbing her nether lips in fast circles reaching her ears now.

A tight numbness spread through her, starting in her depths and reaching well up into her chest. She could feel wetness coating her fingers now, and her mouth opened in a silent scream. In a rush, the numb sensation changed to something much different, an explosion of pleasure that rocked her entire body, forcing a high-pitched moan from her throat.

She climaxed until she thought she would surely faint from the lightheaded, floating feeling it imposed upon her. She panted and curled up into a fetal position, her hand clasped tight over her throbbing clit.

She felt absolutely no shame now, as she drifted in the beautiful afterglow of her orgasm. Such a thing could never be a sin against God, and she certainly didn't feel dirty. She felt wonderful.

Karen slipped back to sleep, her hand still between her bared thighs.

~~()()()()()()()()()()~~

As though a dam had burst within her, Karen's body screamed for attention shortly after awakening in the morning. This time, she did not ignore the need for even a moment, bringing on another intense climax with her flashing fingers, before rising. In her mind's eye, it was once again Ken giving her such wonderful feelings.

She couldn't get him out of her mind through the entire day. She feared to satisfy the need to pleasure herself that assaulted her the rest of the day, unable to endure the thought that the deputy or Sheriff might hear her sounds of pleasure, or see her through the milky-glassed window. Once night fell, however, she once again reached a shuddering climax beneath the blankets. Her shame was gone now, replaced by confusion as to why she would be so enamored of a man whom she had only met not so long ago — and why he caused such intense needs in her.

Upon awakening, she again remembered a dream. This time, her husband rode her like a mare, rolling off her afterward with no care for her satisfaction. Against all propriety, her dream-self had demanded to know why he was so thoughtless of her. He struck her once, and then Ken was there. Kenneth hurled her husband from the bed, and he gave her the pleasure a good husband would have provided.

Karen's nipples stiffened even more as she tossed back the covers, the chilly air kissing her barely clad body. Right now, not a single thought of shame or social norms entered her mind. Her chemise was off just as quickly as the covers, and soon her fingers played over her sex in a rush. Ken's gentle, incredible lovemaking played through her mind again as she reached her peak on her flashing fingers.

Once she regained her senses from the orgasm, Karen rose on wobbly knees to dress. She knew now that there was more than simple appreciation to her feelings. She prayed that Kenneth would notice the signs she intended to give him, and that her feelings were returned.

~~()()()()()()()()()()~~

Karen was pleased by how much of her clothing had survived the attack when Ken returned with it later that evening. She was also in awe of the amount of gold in the sack he handed her. If there were any lingering doubts about her feelings, they immediately vanished when she wrapped her arms around Ken in joy.

She did everything in her power for the next week to indicate her attraction to Ken, and she was sure he had noticed, but he still gave no sign of his own feelings. Karen started to lose heart, thinking she had imagined his glances, or that they were perhaps simple lust with no gentle emotion behind them.

Kenneth had noticed, and he was utterly torn. At first, he had denied the truth of his eyes, the subtle indications of her attraction easy enough to dismiss in his mind. As those signs became more obvious, it was not so easy to ignore. As much as he desired her, as much as he thought about her, he knew his feelings were wrong. Even if she felt attraction to him, it was likely misplaced gratitude and a way to fill the void in her soul caused by the loss of her husband.

With Christmas only a couple of days away, Karen decided to use some of her newfound gold to prepare a feast for the holiday. She already did every little domestic task she could think of, keeping the house in a manner it had never before seen. Her goal was to show what a good wife she would be, hoping to sway Ken's attentions. What she didn't expect was him proving what a good husband he would be, helping her with the chores in the house, and remarking that she was as good at teaching how to keep house as she was at teaching him to read.

It took a lot of searching to find everything Karen wanted to prepare the holiday meal, and she paid far more than many of the ingredients were worth. Some simply were hesitant to part with their stores, and some she gave more to because they appeared to be struggling, and the extra money would make their holiday far more joyous.

When Karen noticed Ken eyeing a new Spencer rifle, she found the time to sneak away and purchase it while they were in town; wrapping it in some cloth she had purchased to conceal it in the wagon. She knew he would be surprised and pleased when she gave it to him for Christmas.

The day finally arrived, and Karen went into a flurry of activity when the sun was barely above the horizon. In late afternoon, she laid out a feast fit for a King. They both ate far more than was good for them, and had more than a little difficulty getting up from the table. Even once neither of them could eat another bite there were leftovers aplenty. Karen suggested they could take the food to someone who appreciated it. Ken said he knew just the family, who lived nearby, but laughed and said it would be an hour or two before he felt up to hitching the wagon.

Karen made an excuse that she wanted to get started cleaning up, sending Ken with the leftovers to the neighbors by himself a short while later. She did start cleaning the pots and pans, but only after wrapping her gift in bright cloth and tying a ribbon around it in a bow.

When Kenneth returned, he saw the gift on the table and looked at Karen with a puzzled expression on his face.

"It's for you, Ken. I just wanted to thank you for all you've done for me, and for being such a good man."

"You didn't have to do that," Kenneth told her.

"I wanted to. Just open it,"

Ken's eyes opened wide when the cloth fell away, revealing the rifle. "Karen, this here is too much," he muttered in wonder.

"Do you like it?"

Kenneth laughed and said, "Of course I do. Now I know why you sent me off to the Sheriff when we was at the store that time. I know I shouldn't be taking this, but I know you'd be upset if I didn't. Thank you, Karen."

Karen beamed, seeing the wide smile on Ken's face. "You're welcome. I wanted you to have it."

"I got you something too. I didn't think it was right, you not having a gift on Christmas." He then went over to his cedar chest and rummaged around for a moment, returning with a small wooden box. "It ain't much, but I thought you might like it."

Karen opened the box and let out a little, "Oh!" of surprise. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw the string of pearls in the box.

"They were my mother's. Them are supposed to come from the sea, and I thought they'd remind you of home, since you come from them parts."

Karen threw her arms around Ken, sobbing against his chest, "They're beautiful, I love them."

Ken slid his hands around her, trying to ignore how good the woman felt in his arms. His heart had leapt in his chest when he saw her reaction to the necklace. He knew he couldn't pay court to her, no matter how much he wanted to, but he had to do at least a little something to show her his feelings, because it was driving him crazy not to.

Karen fastened the pearls around her neck, and then they both finished with the cleaning. After putting all the pans away, they sat down to eat some of the leftovers they had saved for their supper. Once Karen finished rinsing the plates from their quick meal, she pulled up a chair next to Ken, where he sat before the fireplace.

Laying her hand on his arm, she looked up at him and smiled. "I don't think I've actually said it today — merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too. I'm sure you'd rather have spent it with your kin, though," Kenneth replied, returning her smile.

Karen thought, I spent this day exactly where I want to be. "It was a wonderful day," she said aloud.

"I'm glad you're happy," Ken said, turning to look back into the fire. He was having a difficult time ignoring her hand, so soft and so warm, caressing his arm. He was getting chills from her touch, and his mind raced beyond his control. "You sure know how to lay out a spread, Karen. I reckon I ain't never had such good food."

"Thank you, I love to cook."

Kenneth yawned then, and that caused Karen to yawn too. They both chuckled at the near simultaneous expression of just how tired they were.

"Having my belly this full is making my eyes heavy too. We should probably get abed, so we can get up early and go get that letter from your kin the Sheriff said was waiting for you in town."

Karen sighed quietly, unable to suppress her disappointment that he was not responding to her attempts at attracting his eyes and his heart. She stood up and said, "Goodnight, Ken."

"Goodnight, Karen," he responded as she walked toward the bed.