Flow

byclarkcrow©

A note to the readers.

This is my first submission, and the first time I have attempted to write a piece of erotica. The build up takes a while, but in my opinion is important. I find it more erotic knowing there is a background and a story leading up to the sexual side of things, but that's just who I am. Comments and criticisms, if given, will be greatly appreciated, if only so I can improve on my writing or think of new ideas to write about.

The story is a collection of events in both the participants' lives leading up to their eventual coupling (and the male protagonist's first time), and a story about who they are as people as well as erotica. At least this is my hope, since I don't have experience in these matters and have nothing but my vivid imagination to rely on. Either way, I had fun writing it.

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoy.

.....

"Oh, did I tell you? Amelia's moving," His grandmother said in an off-hand way. He knew her too well, however, and heard that particular tone buried underneath the nonchalance that was designed to provoke him into at least responding in some way.

It worked, not that it seemed there was much other choice. The news was a surprise. Then again, he had been away for a while for work. "She is? When?"

"Oh. I'm not sure. She mentioned it the other day. I'm surprised she didn't tell you. They're getting a divorce."

His eyes widened, but he kept his expression from his grandmother's eyes. Without even thinking about it, he glanced toward the front door. Moving? Suddenly the world seemed a little darker and heavier.

"Why don't you go over there and talk to her about it?" His grandmother urged him.

"..."

"You silly boy. It's clear she means a lot to you. If I was in your position, I'd be over there right now."

"... I wonder why she didn't tell me."

"She's been busy. I'm sure she would have told you soon enough. Are you going there, or not?"

He thought about it for a moment or so, then shook his head. "Nah. If she's busy, then... Well. I'll give her a call later or something."

His grandmother clicked her tongue and shook her head. "I don't know... You stupid kids these days..."

.....

He met Amelia for the first time when he was about ten years old. Amelia and her husband moved across the road, and his grandmother, an old woman even then, with the mind of someone who had come from close knit communities, insisted they both go over and introduce themselves.

So, feeling silly about the whole thing, he traipsed across the street after his grandmother and waited while she knocked on the freshly repainted door. When Amelia Lewis opened the door, he found himself staring, though at the time he had no idea why.

Amelia Lewis was gorgeous. Dark hair that fell just past her shoulders in thick waves, large green eyes and somewhat dark lips. It was her smile that got to him most of all though, warm as it was.

"Alright, love?" His grandmother said to her. "We've just come from across the road to introduce ourselves. I'm Anya." Then she looked at him and nudged him forward. "Introduce yourself, go on!"

He remembered Amelia looked straight at him and smiled. She was in her mid twenties or so, and suddenly it was beginning to make sense how one of his older cousins always seemed so focused on women. He didn't even notice her body at the time. Just her face.

"You're being rude," His grandmother said to him.

"Sorry. I'm Grain."

"Grain?" Amelia said in a low voice.

"Honestly. His name's Ivan. But everyone calls him Grain. I have no idea why, to this day," His grandmother told her.

"Oh, I see. Nice to meet you two. Nice to meet you, Grain," Amelia said holding out a hand.

Grain took it reluctantly, shook once, and let go.

"Why don't you both come in?" She asked. "I can make you a cup of tea if you like. As long as you don't mind the mess."

"Oh. Are you sure? We don't want to be any bother," His grandmother told her.

"It's fine! Honestly. It'd be great to spend a bit of time with someone for a bit. Terry's been at work a lot lately, and I'm just getting tired of having to deal with all this stuff all the time. It'd be lovely to sit and chat for a bit."

Grain didn't remember much about that visit, except, as he had expected, his grandmother was talking to Amelia and he was left to his own devices. At some point Amelia's mother arrived and sat with them, and it was at this point he left the room to wander about the house a bit. He didn't get very far. In the other room, next to the one the adults sat in, he found several full bookshelves put against the wall. He sat down and tilting his head, began to read the titles one by one. His enduring memory of that time was the sound of the door opening and Amelia walking in, one eyebrow raised until her eyes settled on him.

"Hey, there you are. I was wondering where you'd gone to. Everything okay?"

He nodded.

"You don't say much, do you?"

He smiled at that. "Grandma talks a lot."

Amelia giggled. "Yeah. It's lovely though. I love listening. She's really nice."

"She's alright, I suppose."

She smiled and sat down beside him. "I guess your parents are at work or something?"

His smile disappeared and he looked away toward the books.

"Grain?"

"My parents are dead."

There was a heavy silence as Amelia took a deep breath, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, berating herself for doing so, she settled for the generic, "I'm really sorry to hear that."

He shrugged.

"That must be really hard for you."

"You have a lot of books."

Grateful for the change in topic, she nodded in agreement. "I love reading. All of these are mine. Terry isn't a huge reader really."

"I like reading."

"Yeah? What kind of books do you like?"

"Anything really," Grain said quietly. Then he moved toward one of the shelves and pointed to a few of the books. "I've read those ones." Pointing to another shelf, "And those."

Amelia stared at the shelves he had pointed towards. They were mostly fantasy novels written for teenagers. "Really?"

And there was that familiar dubious tone that Grain had become accustomed to. "I preferred Eddings though. And I like Douglas Adams a lot, even though I don't think I get some of it. I'll read it again when I'm older."

They discussed books for another half hour after that, with Amelia's disbelief disappearing rapidly and her becoming impressed with his quiet intelligence. The conversation ended when Anya decided it was time for them to leave, but not before Amelia quickly told him he was welcome to borrow any books at any time.

.....

Grain stared out of his bedroom window toward Amelia's front door. He had no desire to go over there. At first he didn't want to believe his grandmother, but it was looking as though there was truth in it. It had been two days since his grandmother had told him and he had not seen Terry's car anywhere near the house. His grandmother had said he was staying with a friend while Amelia prepared all her things for moving.

It wasn't so much a surprise that the divorce was happening, but it still had that sharpness to it when he thought of it. Even when things were expected, it didn't necessarily lessen their impact. The thought of Amelia not being across the road was hard for him to get to grips with. So instead, as he did with a lot of things, he simply didn't think about it. It wasn't real. It wouldn't be real until she was actually gone.

And once she was gone, he would have no idea what to do.

.....

It wasn't until he was thirteen when she asked him exactly how he got the name Grain.

"I don't really remember."

"You don't?" She pushed a plate across the counter towards him. On it was a tuna sandwich, one he had been looking forward to all day. Her sandwiches were a slice of heaven.

"Nope." He took a bite of the sandwich and gulped it down quickly.

"Oi, careful. Chew!" She said in her feigned stern voice. She was terrible at actually being stern. "So how come you don't remember?"

"I was in primary school. I think someone said the word grain and I said something back. And for some stupid reason a lot of the kids had trouble saying Ivan. So Grain became the alternative."

"Really?"

"Something like that. It was years ago, Mrs. Lewis."

She scowled. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."

He shrugged. "It's respectful. Grandma says it is anyway. And she's psychic or something. She can always tell when I'm not doing something I should be."

"She's not here right now, Mr. Black," Amelia said, briefly sticking her tongue out at him.

He shook his head. "This is Grandma we're talking about. I ain't risking anything."

"Ain't? Am not. Or I'm not. That's the correct way."

He simply glanced at her and took another bite.

"When is she getting back?" She asked suddenly.

"Tomorrow night."

"You'll be glad to see her then."

"Yeah. I've missed her a lot. Hard to believe it's only been a week."

"Well she's the only other person in the house, so I guess that's to be expected. Have you got anything to eat for later?"

"I'm not sure. I might have run out of food by now. I might just order in."

"Why don't you eat here? I'll get us some pizza. It's Friday night."

"What about Mr. Lewis?"

He was too young to understand that subtle change that came over her face. She sighed and said, "He's working all night."

"Again?"

"Yep. So it's just you and me."

"Poor you," Grain said, smiling. "Stuck with a thirteen year old boy."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Seriously though. Thanks for all the food and stuff. And for letting me come here to hang out. It's always good." Grain's voice always became quieter when he was saying something serious. Amelia had to struggle to hear sometimes.

This time she was simply surprised at the sudden gratitude, only just realising she enjoyed his company just as much as he did, if not more. "Don't be silly, Grain. It's a pleasure."

He simply nodded. He never really made eye contact when his voice was like that. She often felt like pointing this out to him but was never quite sure how he would react. It seemed better to just leave it.

.....

Pretending things were happening never lasted long. Giving the idea of going over to see her some serious thought left him even more afraid of going there. He couldn't quite tell what the source of the fear was yet. He was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the stubble that needed shaving. Grain had short dark hair, not quite black but too dark to be really considered brown. Amelia had often said she could see several tones in it. His eyes were brown, his skin pale and his body lean. He was a couple of inches shy of average height for a male, something which he had never given much thought once he realised he was more or less the same height as Amelia. He flexed his arm, taking note of the fact that he was at least filling out a little bit.

Sighing, he decided to leave the shaving for now and put on his shoes to walk over to see Amelia. While he put on his shoes, he tried to puzzle out the one emotion that seemed to be dominant above all others. That strange, singular fear which left him almost feeling paralysed at times, ever since his grandmother had told him about Amelia's leaving. It wasn't until he opened the door and was about to cross the road when he realised the reason for it was simple. Change. Things were going to change. More than that, he had no idea where she was going. No idea whether he'd see her again. Why would she bother keeping in touch with him? Even if they were close in some respects.

There had been moments of course. Moments where he was forced to stop and think about what was going on in front of him. Moments that it seemed only he and Amelia shared; moments wrapped up in a blanket of time that buffered them against the rest of the world. Grain really had no idea when it was he had developed this crush he had, had no idea when it had turned into something else and became a simple fact in his mind, that his emotions largely became focused on her at some point. He had feelings for her, definitely, but he never tried to probe how deep they were. He was only twenty-two and as far as he was concerned, he wasn't sure he understood the concept of love, simply because he couldn't have the conviction to just fall into his feelings and let go.

What did it matter, when she was leaving now anyway? He was happy for her. He couldn't deny that. He figured out a few years ago that she was unhappy. Now she had finally taken a step forward. And for all he knew, she was leaving him behind too.

.....

"Did I hear right? Your grandmother said you're going to move for a year or so," Amelia said after several moments of silence. She'd been waiting for the right moment to ask, unsure of whether she really wanted to hear him say it. She hated to admit it but she had come to rely on the idea of him being across the street more than she thought she should.

"Only for the year," Grain said, watching her carefully. Things had changed. She wasn't the same person he had met for the first time six years before. She seemed sadder now.

"Where to?"

"I'm going to live with my cousins, while I do the first year of my A-Levels in the same college as them. Grandma says I should try living in the country for a bit. I think she just wants the house to herself for a bit."

"A whole year..."

"I'll be around during the breaks, I think."

"You should be where ever you can do your work. It's going to be an important year for you."

Grain raised an eyebrow. "You have met my cousins, right? Working anywhere near them is an impossibility. Still, I'll have a room to myself."

Amelia laughed lightly. "I remember them. Very laddish."

"An understatement. I'm expecting at least one of them to end up being treated for sex addiction."

"Oh, they didn't seem that bad!"

"That's because you don't hear what they say when it's just the boys."

"Oh? Give me an example?" Amelia asked in a playful voice.

Grain shook his head vehemently. "Nope."

"Spoilsport."

He looked at her again. She was looking off into space toward the dining room table. There was cutlery on there along with a couple of plates. She walked over to it and picked a single plate up and was about to go to one of the cupboards to put it away, before she stopped and looked at him.

He tilted his head slightly as a question.

"Have you eaten yet, Grain?"

"No. But, I'll be going out with a couple of friends later. They want to say goodbye now."

"Oh? But... there's the whole summer yet."

"They'll be away. And I don't really feel like doing much with a lot of others. I won't see them for the rest of the summer once they're gone."

"Ah," Amelia looked away again. The disappointment in her voice was noticeable.

He was nearly sixteen now and with his hormones in full swing, he could finally appreciate how beautiful Amelia Lewis really was. Her dark, wavy hair was now halfway down her back. He noticed her body more than he was prepared to admit to himself. She wasn't model thin in the least, but instead a collection of gorgeous curves. She was about his height with wide hips and round buttocks, and breasts that were more than a handful, along with a waist that while it was a proportionally normal width, somehow accentuated the curves below and above it. She had the slight appearance of plumpness to her, nothing overly noticeable, but more the kind of thickness that only came to be noticed when someone looked at her long enough.

While her body was appealing to say the least, he was worried because her eyes seemed dimmer now, and her smile didn't quite widen as it used to in the memories of his younger days. It hurt him to see she was not happy. He never said anything to her about it, but instead watched as she went to work part time, came home to find the house empty, spent a lot of her evenings alone and occasionally he had even been there when she had had whispered arguments with her husband over the phone. But she never mentioned any of her problems, or her issues in her marriage. Of course she wouldn't. He was only young and he was sure she had plenty of friends in her circle to speak to. It didn't stop him occasionally from hoping she would open up to him, even if a little.

"Grain?"

"Hmm?" Her voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"You'll be sixteen pretty soon, won't you?"

"Yeah. Another couple of weeks."

"Do you want anything specific for it?"

"Uh, nope. That's fine. You don't have to do that."

"You sure?"

"Mrs. Lewis, honestly."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that. Makes me feel old. I'm not even thirty yet."

"You're not old," He said automatically.

She smiled. "You're supposed to say that."

He shrugged in that small way he did. In his pocket his hand was busy pressing buttons with an agonisingly careful manner. With the phone out of sight, he was having to rely on his memory of where each button led to which menu. After a few more seconds, he had success. His phone began to ring.

"Oh. Okay if I take this? I think it's my friend."

She frowned at him. "Of course it is. Go ahead. I'm just going to put away some stuff in the kitchen." She walked out, leaving him alone.

As soon as she left, he cancelled the ring tone, and rang his friend. After a few moments, she picked up. "Joanne? Listen, about tonight, I'm really sorry, but I can't make it... No, everything's fine. It's just that something came up... I know you're leaving tomorrow.... I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll be around during the winter break.... Yeah, I promise I'll see you then. Will you let Arun know for me?... Thanks.... Yeah.... Take care. Bye."

He waited for a while, listening to the sounds of Amelia moving things about in the kitchen. Finally she came back, holding a carton of juice and offered it to him. He took it gladly.

"Mrs. Lewis, looks like I've had a change of plan."

"Oh?"

"Turns out my friends can't make it. So, I'm at a loose end."

She suppressed a smile. "Oh. That must be really disappointing for you."

"It happens. I can always see them later in the year."

"Well, would you like to have to dinner here later?"

He nodded with a smile. "I'll just go and tell Grandma. I'll be back in a few."

And while he walked over to his grandmother's house, he wondered if it was possible that she enjoyed his company that much. Or perhaps she just didn't want to be alone. It was beginning to seem obvious to him that though Amelia Lewis was an adult age-wise, she was more a person with her own insecurities and elaborate ways of coping with them. Maybe, he thought to himself, adults weren't so confident and as sure as they made themselves out to be, that maybe they were still like teenagers, but with bigger problems and more experience with dealing with those problems.

Maybe he could find a way of getting through to her and telling her that he could see she was unhappy, that she needed a way of dealing with it or finding some solution to it all.

.....

He remembered when he was seventeen, and living with his cousins after having decided to stay another year at the same college, and his grandmother called him to pass on the message that Amelia had decided to throw a small gathering for her thirtieth birthday. He and his grandmother were both invited to the small affair and he found himself gladly sitting on the train going home for the weekend.

The gathering itself was smaller than could be considered a party, at least in his view, but he enjoyed most of it. Amelia's friends were all reasonably amiable though he did not attempt to socialise as much as he could have, even after Amelia introduced him as a friend to her group. Terrence Lewis was also there. It was a rare sighting for Grain. He wasn't sure how he felt about him. Terrence was not a bad person as far as he could tell, and this was while he was attempting to be unbiased, but the person he was made Grain wonder at times how he and Amelia could have ended up together. They seemed unsuited. He had minimal interaction with him until he decided he had had enough of the gathering altogether, and as it always seemed to happen whenever he was at their house, he found himself in front of the bookshelves looking at the books.

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byclarkcrow© 40 comments/ 128491 views/ 72 favorites

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