Four Days in May

Then she looked down at me, into my eyes, and a sly smirk spread across her face.

"Darling, aren't you going to introduce me to your young, little friend?" she asked in a voice dripping with contempt.

She held out her hand and said: "Hi, I'm Jennifer—Justin's wife—"

"EX-wife!" he corrected her.

Unfazed, she continued: "...and who might you be?"

I didn't like her tone at all. I softly took her hand and said, "I might be John...."

"How droll...." she said through the sneer on her lips. "Well, darling—nice chatting with you—Todd and I must be going—the Van Slykes are having a dinner party and you know how tedious they get when you're late—bye-bye."

His wife? I was stunned—HIS WIFE??

It was dark when we left. We sat in silence a long while as he drove us home. A wave of sweet despair washed over me. He was married—wow!

What a fool I am, I thought. There had been moments at the ballpark and the art gallery when I really believed he was interested in me as more than a friend. I thought I'd even felt a spark between us.

I had been kidding myself all along. Justin was all-man and surly considered me just a guy he could have fun and talk with. I felt embarrassed and stupid.

I'm in love with him, I thought to myself. YES—I admit it! And I'll never be able to tell him. The only person I have ever loved—the only person in the world I have ever truly cared about---is a man—a man who would be appalled if he knew what I was feeling.

When we arrived at our building he invited me to his apartment for a glass of wine. I mumbled some sort of feeble excuse and went to my place.

I walked to the kitchen without turning on a lamp. Dim moonlight shone through a window and it was all I needed to find my way. I retrieved a bottle of Jack Daniels and a glass and sat on the couch.

I fell into a familiar routine: drink a glass of bourbon then pour another one.

It was my modus operandi following cruel or bitter disappointments in my life and I've had more than I care to recount.

I was ashamed of my weakness—my need to drown my soul in order to feel better about myself, but the urge was always overwhelming and I could never resist.

How in the world could I feel this way? What in hell was going on in my brain that told me it was okay to fall in love with a guy? How could I have let down my guard and allow this to happen?

Sometime in the night I passed out on the couch. The following day I was awakened by a ray of sunshine on my face. My head was pounding and I briefly wondered where I was.

I tossed down some aspirin and took a shower. I felt somewhat better but not much.

Glancing out the window at the pool area, I noticed it was another beautiful day with many lovelies sunning themselves. I put on my swim trunks and unsteadily walked to the pool.

There was an open lounge chair between two pretty girls and I lay back and closed my eyes. My head was spinning. I deserve to feel this way, I said to myself.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep I heard the clanging of the metal gate. Instinctively, I looked to see who the new arrival was. It was Justin. I closed my eyes feeling dread and shame.

I heard a lounge chair settle on the concrete close to me. Justin had brought over a chair and squeezed it into a tight spot next to mine.

"Are you alright, John?" he asked me.

My heart was so heavy I didn't know what to say. I had to say something—he didn't do anything to me; it was my fault I felt this way about him.

I managed a weak smile and said, "Hi...not feeling too well today...met up with my old pal Jack Daniels last night...."

He nodded his head knowingly and didn't say another word. The sun felt warm—I began to sweat the liquor out through my pores.

About an hour later he leaned over to me and softly said: "You know the other day when I mentioned there was something wrong with my computer and there wasn't---well, I just wanted to meet you and I didn't know how else to do it...."

Huh? He wanted to meet ME? I wondered.

He coughed, and made nervous laughter: "But, wouldn't you know—now there really is something wrong with it...would you please take a look at it for me?"

This was all very strange. What was he trying to tell me?

My headache was finally gone and I was feeling stronger.

"Sure...." I said.

When I heard him move his chair to leave, I climbed off mine as well. I followed him into the building to his apartment. I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline when he opened the door and he smiled at me. God how I loved that smile.

"I had a great time yesterday..." he said, "I hope I didn't say anything to offend you...when we got home you disappeared in an awful hurry...was it something I did? Was it something Jennifer said? She's a real bitch...."

My heart melted when I saw the look of caring and concern in his eyes. I was totally bewildered—I didn't want to misread his intentions again. My emotions were overwhelmed—this was getting far more intense than I could handle.

It crossed my mind to leave—get out of there fast and never look back, but I found myself following him into his apartment. I suddenly realized the power he had over me—I would follow him anywhere just to be near him.

I went straight to his computer table and sat down. I needed to focus on something—to think about something other than him.

Whenever I troubleshoot a computer I always check the connections first. You'd be surprised how many people thought they had a serious problem when in fact it was just a loose wire or it was unplugged. Sure enough, it had become disconnected and all I did was plug it back into the outlet.

Justin laughed and said: "I'm such an idiot—sorry about wasting your time."

He was smarter than that—he would have checked the connections himself. He did that on purpose. I sat there not knowing what to do or say. This was our first awkward silence.

I shifted uneasily in the chair then gazed out the window next to the computer. He had a great view of the pool. Then suddenly I felt his hands on my shoulders. The touch of his hands made my whole body tingle.

"A couple weeks ago I was sitting where you are..." he said softly. "...I looked out the window and...well, I looked out the window and saw someone I knew I had to meet...someone who I was instantly attracted to...I think it was love at first sight...it was you, Johnny."

I froze in place; unable to move or respond.

He continued; he spoke as if he were in a trance: "Every day I was here waiting for you—hoping you'd go to the pool...when you weren't there I was heartbroken and felt so lonely I wanted to cry...when you were there it felt so wonderful I wanted to sing—I stared at your beautiful face the whole time trying to screw up enough courage to go down there and meet you...believe me, I've never felt this awkward and tongue-tied in my life..."

Tears welled in my eyes—I couldn't believe he was saying this to me. I continued staring out the window but I didn't see anything; I only heard his soft voice and wonderful words.

He said:"The other day I finally told myself it was 'now or never'—if I didn't at least meet you I would regret it the rest of my life--I hurried downstairs before you had a chance to leave...did you notice how nervous I was when we shook hands?"

I slowly shook my head 'no'—I was speechless—unable to form words.

He continued: "When we talked—when I got to know you...I felt like a new person—you're the sharpest person I've ever met—I adore your sense of humor...you bring out the best in me. I feel so alive when we're together...you might not want to hear this—you will probably punch me and storm out of here, but I have to say it: I'm absolutely head-over-heels in love with you, Johnny...I'm sorry if this offends you—I know you're not gay--I saw you with that pretty girl--but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you how I feel..."

Even though this was the happiest moment of my life I had to ask him: "What about your ex-wife? If you're gay, why did you marry her?"

He gave a long sigh then said: "I lived a lie for a very long time...I had to...growing up I was a damn good athlete and all the girls wanted me...I couldn't tell them I wasn't interested...I certainly couldn't say to my folks and friends that I would rather be in a locker room shower with naked guys than in the backseat of a car with a willing girl...everyone assumed I was the All-American boy...everyone had great expectations of me—I was afraid of letting everyone down--I had to live that lie for the sake of the people who cared about me...."

His words struck me hard; I knew what he was talking about; I knew exactly what he went through in order to please other people and not himself.

I stood up and stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. He looked at me, unsure of my reaction. I moved closer to him until we were touching. He opened his arms and I pressed myself against his hard chest. When he put his arms around me and held me tight, well...my life finally had meaning.

I confessed my feelings for him: "I love you, Justin...I've never met anyone like you—please let me be with you...I want to make you happy...."

We kissed. Our lips pressed tightly together. I pulled his body closer to mine—I felt his excitement against my belly. I boldly reached down and stroked it through his trunks. My head was swimming in lust and desire.

I suddenly felt a deep craving; a hunger I'd never known before that had to be satisfied once and for all. I dropped to my knees and slowly peeled down his swim trunks. When his hard cock sprang into view it truly was love at first sight. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I kissed the head of his cock and looked up at him. His eyes were wide with wonderment and joy.

"I don't know what to do," I said softly. "Please...please show me what you want...."

I followed his gentle coaxing and instructions and proceeded to taste a man's cock for the first time in my life. Nothing had ever felt more natural. I loved it--It was as though I was born to be on my knees pleasuring a man.

His manly aroma overpowered me. His silky flesh quivered beneath my tongue. My own cock throbbed as I bobbed my head back-and-forth sucking more-and-more of his cockhead and shaft into my mouth.

I was lost in the sucking. When his hips pushed his cock further inside my mouth I instinctively stroked and sucked his wonderful prick faster.

When he grunted and groaned and discharged into my mouth I greedily swallowed every drop. My lips and tongue were coated with his thick cream. It was delicious.

For the first time in my life, reality was far, far better than any of my fantasies.

So here I am lying naked on red satin sheets waiting expectantly for my lover to emerge from the bathroom. A shiver runs up-and-down my spine as I imagine what he'll have me do for him next.

Since yesterday afternoon we've acted like newlyweds: kissing, petting, fondling and caressing. He's taught me how to satisfy his every carnal desire with my hands, my mouth and my 'tight pussy', as he likes to call it.

He's a generous and considerate lover. When he had me bend over and took my virginity, he grasped my hard cock in his strong hand and gave me the most thrilling orgasm of my life.

We are both amazed at how powerful and intense our orgasms have become, and we know for certain it is due to our love and respect for one another.

When we are not making love we're talking and discussing our future together. I will wait until the end of the month to move into his apartment, even though I will spend every night in his bed until then.

Suddenly, the bathroom door flies open and Justin stands in the doorway naked, posing for me.

I burst out in laughter. He has attached a big red bow to his seven-inch hard-on.

"Who in this room wants to open my package?" he asks loudly.

I squeal with delight: "ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-PICK MEEEEEEEEE...."

Judy had been keenly prescient: I will make a good wife for a wonderful man.