Fragmented

Images flashing away. It's all over and what happened I can't tell you.

Light.

Bright light. Why did I open my eyes? This hour is ungodly...what hour is it? Oh. Quarter after eleven is far too early to get up. Back to sleep.

I walk into the living room in my deceptively small apartment. It's got so much space but it's all vertical space and no one sleeps on the ceiling. The room is cold, maybe a little under 65 but I like it when I can pile blankets on top of me. I shove off all of the crap on the couch and throw on a blanket and slowly fall back asleep.

When I see again I'm back in my old house, the house I grew up in and the house I lost my virginity in and the house I painfully left the summer before senior year of high school. I'm in my room, with dark blue enveloping me. I loved that colour, and the grey to oppose it on the other side only intensified the dark. I look up into my closet where I kept my bed and see the poster of Davis up there. He keeps me going.

I walk out into my backyard into a bright cloudless warm spring day and I see something I can't explain. There's this shimmering light over the sandbox and between the slide and the small tree. There seems to be something within the light but I can't tell what it is until I walk over and stand on the slide...It's a giant airplane with hundreds of people in the seats, all people I know. They tell me I can't get in that way so I walk over to the sandbox and suddenly I'm inside the plane and I marvel at how humongous it is. I walk around for bit gaping at all the stuff going on in my boring backyard on a bright cloudless warm spring day like movies with full theatre style screens and bowling and I swear I see people about to go on a hike. Someone asks me what I'm doing here and now I'm in the field next to my suite in college and the hundreds upon hundreds of people are there standing and chatting and hanging out and I don't like it. It's too big and too many people so I walk.

The day is the kind of day I take for granted and normal people stop every five feet to wonder at the beauty of my school. If the peacocks were still here they'd only be an aside. The time passes quickly as I walk and by the time I get to the benches by the pond it's full on sunset already and even I get stopped. It forces me to reverse direction for about 200 feet and I find myself outside of Monty, the music hall. Perhaps it's time to play some music, I think, before heading straight to the theatre.

I've been in the theatre a few times to see plays and it's one of those typical black box type deals. I walk up the stairs to the balcony, my favorite place, and there's this girl, sitting in my favorite chair. I know her, vaguely, in the back of my mind; it nags me. She's about 5'7", shoulder-length brown hair, full lips, and incredibly beautiful. She gets up out of the chair and walks towards me. She hugs me tightly and there's water in her eyes.

She pulls back and wipes her eyes and then laughs and says, "Man, you must really hate all those people in your backyard." I reply yeah and how much like that bomb threat last year when we all had to pile out onto that field for hours. She laughs again and moves closer again. Her eyes betray her reason, and behind the reason is her dark smoldering heat.

She whispers in my ear, "I need you." I respond saying no, it's not time yet. She says she doesn't care anymore about waiting because waiting is bullshit and if I need it as much as she does right now it can't possibly be wrong and I can't hold out any longer and I give in. She wraps her legs around my hips and suddenly I am inside. We move slowly at first and build to our rhythm and she cries out and there's a passion behind her eyes I've have never seen before.

Hours seems to pass and then suddenly we're seated in the main part of the theatre with a few people I know from school with us. They ask us questions I can't recall, and I only answer with monosyllables. We tell stories of times past and recount our glory days here and I look over at her and she peaks over her shoulder and a small smile creeps to her face. Someone catches our glance and points it out the group, which elicits a laugh from everyone including her. She laughs with her whole body and I can't help but laugh with her when I see it. I reach over and kiss her and the whole group awws and oohs and I tell them to shut the fuck up and we get out of there.

We make it down to the beach and the sun's still in the same place and we can't help but just sit there for awhile and feel the sun set all around us. The sun finally dips behind the river and we can't hold on anymore. The night air is brisk on bare skin and sand gets everywhere but we satiate each other. The water crashes behind us and the moon slowly rises in the sky, a full moon and a full moonrise. It gets colder but we take no notice providing heat for three, four at times.

We pull off into the night later in the car I now have and we don't look back. We're gonna miss the place, but we're ready now. The car fades into the distance and everything slowly fades.

Images flashing away. It's all over and what happened I can't tell you.

Light.