Freedom

I watch. Standing by the shed, unnoticed in the darkness. I see everything. I watch as her car pulls into your drive. You both sit talking.

I wait. You slowly get out of her car. Reaching into the backseat, you grab the bags of things she bought you. Just like I used to. You lean back in. Muffled words of thanks and goodbyes reach my ears.

You slowly walk to the house, a beautiful two-story house. The one we shared in. The one we played in. The one where I held you drying your tears. The one I know where your extra key was hidden. The key I copied months ago, before you started seeing her. Before I was put aside.

She waits trained, as I was, until you open the door and with a half-wave dismiss her. Like you used to send me away after I had spent all my money on you. I can see the hungry frustrated look on her face as she backs out of your drive. Or maybe I just remember it on mine. I hear her engine complain as she accelerates too quickly, trying to escape you.

I watch as the kitchen light comes on. In my mind I see you, pleased with yourself. Making a cup of chai, just like you did each time you bled me dry. I can hear your six cats greeting you. Each begging for attention as you make your way to start your bath.

I wait as you choose your music. Wondering briefly what will greet me as I enter. Will it be the Irish tones of Flogging Molly? Meaning you got every little thing your heart desired. Evanescence means she demanded payment of some sort, kisses or even to taste you. Lincoln Park means she denied you something. How well I know you my little cunt. I know your every selfish whim. I watch and I wait.

I see the kitchen light go off. You are settling into your bath. Surrounded by the deceptively clean scent of sage and sandalwood. Your cats placing themselves at there guard positions. But they know me. They will let me enter.

In the beginning of the end I tried to talk to you. Not wanting to be pushed aside. I tried to make you see. To reassure you I would get more money. Then, when I realized, I tried to talk to her. To explain what you were. Just like he tried to warn me. Like me, she didn’t listen. She told me to leave you alone. That I was wrong, jealous even, and no longer welcome.

So I waited. I watched. I know what I need to do. I have to free her before you cause more damage. I have to protect the future from you.

Silently, I let myself in. I am greeted by the whiney voice of Amy Lee of Evanescence. I allow myself a second to gloat. Your guardians don’t make a sound. I pet each one as I make my way to you.

I walk quietly to the bathroom, knowing exactly what step to avoid. Not that you would hear it over your pouting. At the door I pause, knowing the room on the other side is deliciously steamy. In my mind I see you, naked in the antique claw-foot tub, bubbles cascading over full breasts. Breasts so sensitive to my touch.

Shaking myself from the memory of your taste, I put on the gloves I bought. Carefully I open the door. Steam rushes past me, filling the hall. I enter quickly, pulling the door closed behind me.

For a brief moment I stand there. I watch you. Your head back, eyes closed as the hot water caresses your smooth skin. You are lost in your own little world.

I am disappointed that you didn’t notice me. I wanted you to know who it was. I warned you about taking Vicodin before your bath. I warned you.

Your most loyal cat watches me from her perch as I approach you. She meows a soft greeting, you don’t stir.

Standing over you, looking down. Your hair is spread behind you; its dark mahogany color was once golden honey for me. Soft long lashes caress your golden cheeks, skin so soft and tan. Hiding soft brown eyes, doe eyes. How I want those lids to open and to see the fear of recognition in those eyes that lied to me.

A soft sleep sound brings my attention to your lips. Those dark cherry lips, I used to beg kisses from. Poison spewed from them, words that clouded my happiness. Nothing was good enough for you. There was no hope, no love, and no chance of survival.

My gaze moves lower, down your smooth neck, just begging for nibbles. To where your chest moves slightly with each shallow slowed breath. The soft brown of your nipples gently peak from the cover of bubbles.

Your arms rest on the edges of the tub, down to perfectly manicured nails, a perfect accent, sharp red nails. Nails I want to feel across my skin as you struggle against me.

The bubbles hide your curves from my eyes. But I see you fully, every sensuous curve, the soft mound of downy hair that hides your taste from me. That glorious musk, the amazing taste of you, the soft skin that quivered at my caress.

I look to the end of the tub, perfectly painted toes just out of the water.

So beautiful, so expensive and so high maintenance. It is a greater good I do as my hand moves to your head.

I caress your face. Then slowly with gentle pressure slide you lower into the water. There is no resistance.

Dumb bitch, I knew you had a problem with painkillers. Now here again you are ruining my fun (as usual). I wanted you to struggle, to fight me. I want you to know who was freeing the world of your taint. Instead you fell asleep in the tub, after taking too many pain pills. You can’t even die with dignity. I could just walk out of here. You would wake tomorrow in a cold bath, with a headache.

Lower into the water, my hand on your head, I watch. I watch for a long time after the bubbles are gone. The room cools around me. The water cools around you.

Your cat smiles at me and walks to the door. Feeling freer than I have in a long time, I remove my hand from your head. Your body doesn’t move. Carefully I open the door. She sneaks past me and down the stairs. I leave the door slightly ajar. It wouldn’t be fair to lock any of the cats in, or out for that matter. They need closure also.

The others greet me as I descend after her, pulling off my glove and putting them in my bag. Such lovely animals, their lives are worth more than yours. I stop to feed them before I exit. No need to punish the innocent.

Then as silently as I came, I slip out. Out of this servitude forever. I am finally free. Free of you.