Friends

“Candice!” I heard my name being called from across the quad. I was sitting on a bench trying to absorb this last bit of philosophy knowledge before my final, but it was far too hard to concentrate on books when the day was another perfect Denver afternoon. Jesse, my best friend, was hurrying toward me with the biggest smile on his face. “Candice! You are never going to believe what I got today…”

“Did you get in?” I whispered. He sat down next to me and waved a folded piece of paper in my face.

“Yes! I got into Wash U.’s grad program! I just found out today!”

“Oh, Jesse!” I squealed. “That’s terrific!” I gave him a huge hug and a noisy kiss on the cheek. I watched his face flush, and his lips stretched into a bigger grin. “So what are you going to do to celebrate?”

“I’m getting loaded tonight!” Jesse said with a laugh. I chuckled along with him because we both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Jesse has been a recovering alcoholic since I’ve known him.

“I would like to take you out tonight. You know, to celebrate.” I touched his hand gently.

“Even better, how about if I take you out?” I started to protest, but Jesse jumped up and started to walk away. “Be ready at seven-thirty, okay?”

“Okay, but…”I watched him disappear behind a gaggle of freshman girls who stared with open mouths as he passed through their group. I knew what they were looking at; Jesse is easily one of the best looking men I know. He’s tall with spiky, sandy hair, and this perfect nose that I would say is his best feature. Isn’t it strange that a nose should be a great feature? His nouth is nice too. Plainly put, Jesse is a handsome man and women (and some men too) stare at him. I smiled a little to myself and stood up. Just one more stinky final to finish and I could graduate.

I was sitting in front of my mirror at six forty-five putting on my makeup after a long, hot shower. My hair was done up in a towel to catch the drips of water from my wet hair, and my brown face was scrubbed clean and waiting for embellishment. I had just picked up my eyeliner when there was an insistent knock on the door. I sighed unhappily because I still had forty-five minutes to get ready by my clock, and I just knew it was Jesse. I threw the eyeliner down onto the countertop and stamped to the door.

“I hope your house burned down!” I yelled from my side of the door and then I yanked it open. Standing at the door was my adorable bestest friend in the world.

“Naw, it didn’t burn down, but I couldn’t wait to see you! Could you hurry? I’m starving!” He pushed past me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“I thought I had a few more minutes to get ready, so hold on okay?” I made a huge show of wiping off my cheek, then I stalked back to my bedroom with Jesse right behind me.

“I can’t believe I’m moving to St. Louis,” Jesse said softly as he lay down on my bed. He was careful not to let his shoes touch the duvet. Something that is a quirk of Jesse’s and always has been. He watched carefully as I put first my eyeshadow, then my eyeliner on, then he sat up and watched with interest as I brushed blush onto my cheeks. When I put my lipstick on, Jesse leaned forward and fixed his eyes on my mouth. “I like that color.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile. “Now get out of here so that I can put my clothes on.” I said taking the towel off of my head and shaking my mane of curls. Jesse just kept staring and then finally shook his head as if he had just heard me. “Get!”

“Do I have to?” he groaned playfully.

“Yes, and the sooner you leave the sooner we can go eat. Now, go!” I ordered. Jesse sank back against the pillows and folded his hands beneath his head. He gave me a wicked grin and lifted his eyebrows in a silent “come make me” gesture. “Come on, Jesse!” I whined. “Just let me get dressed.”

Jesse hummed a wordless tune and closed his eyes. “Asshole!” I muttered under my breath as I walked to the side of the bed that Jesse wasn’t lying on. I kneeled next to him and gave him a shove off, then giggled with glee at his surprised expression as his arse hit the floor. I slipped into the bathroom with a backward glance and shut the door firmly.

I hurried as I put on my tank top and swishy skirt. I may not be the blonde, stick-thin variety of woman that seems to run rampant in the Denver area, but I’m no slouch either. I admired myself from every angle in the mirror and when I was satisfied, I opened the door and found Jesse back on the bed.

“You ready?” he asked as he sat up slowly.

“I just need my shoes, then we can go,” I got down on my hands and knees and searched under my bed for the perfect strappy heels that I knew were somewhere under there. I found them and slid them onto me feet. They had cost a fortune, especially since I was a broke college student who was paying for everything herself. But hey, they made me feel like a million bucks and that alone made them worth it.

“You look beautiful, Candice.” Jesse took my hand and lead me out of the bedroom.

“Eh,” I scrunched my face and shrugged my shoulders. Like I said, I’m no slouch, but my look is definitely “exotic” compared to the women I see around me everyday. We hopped into Jesse’s car and went to our favorite chinese restaurant in Cherry Creek. While we waited for our table, I had a glass of wine and Jesse had a glass of club soda. I was telling him all the details of my latest date with the guy I had been seeing casually, Tone.

“Do you think it’s serious with you two?” Jesse asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“To tell you the truth, no. He’s jealous of you and he has a hairy back and ugly feet. It’s the same old story, I thought he would be better than Stephan, but in the end, I’m left with just fucked up little ol’ me.” I laughed a little then frowned into my wine. “I’m tired of Mister Right Now, Jess. I want something real. Something that will last.”

Jesse started to say something, but the beautiful Asian hostess walked up to us and let us know that out table was ready.

We ate a lesiurely dinner, taking the food from one another’s plates and laughing at our fortunes. Jesse suggested we get ice cream after I paid the bill. We walked a few blocks to the best homemade ice cream parlor in the metro area, then we walked along the street chatting and window shopping. We came to a wonderful toy store and as I was peering through the window at a hideously ugly baby doll, I heard Jesse clear his throat.

“Did you see that thing?” I asked as I took a bite of rich, creamy chocolate ice cream. It was sinfully delicious and I turned to Jesse and closed my eyes in ecstacy.

“I love you, Candice,” Jesse said simply. My eyes flew open and I looked at him dumbfounded,for exactly two seconds.

“I love you, too, Jesse. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Not in a friendly way,” the exasperation in his voice was audible. “I’m in love with you! I’ve been in love with you since the day we met—since the very first time I laid eyes on you in fact.”

“What?!” I squealed. We met the first day that I moved into the dorms. My mother and stepfather were helping me move my things into the dorm and on one of my trips back from the car, I was having trouble getting a box through the door when suddenly, out of nowhere, this goodlooking guy not only opens the door but takes the box out of my hand. We laughed all the way up to my room in the elevator and when we came into the room, Jesse introduced himself to all of us as Jesse Burke. He told us that he was from L.A. and that he was just starting at DU himself. My mother had been so impressed with his manners that she had invited him to dinner on the spot. Jesse declined with a thank you and said that he would see me soon and whistled on his way out the door and down the hall.

The next day, after my parents had taken off, I stood in the parking lot long after the car had pulled away. I was feeling quite small and alone when I felt an arm circle my waist and pull me close to a solid, warm body.

I looked up surprised. “Why the long face? You look like your dog just died.” Jesse said with a little twinkle in his eye.

“My mom just left and I feel, I don’t know, alone is the word I guess.” I felt tears well up in my eyes and my heart felt like it was going to break right there.

“Nah, you’re not alone. C’mon, let’s get a bite to eat.” He steered me in the direction of the student center and we sat in the cafeteria taking and laughing until we were finally told to leave, the place had closed and we hadn’t even noticed. At the end of the evening we walked back to the dorm together and when he dropped me off at the door to my wing there was a pause while I grabbed my key.

“Thanks for cheering me up. I really needed that.” I smiled at him then shyly reached up to hug him around the neck. “You were such a great friend, and I really needed that.”

“Yeah,” Jesse had said. His voice was muffled by my hair. We pulled away and he waved a little and walked away. “See ya, Pal.”

“Hey, Jesse?” He poked his head from around the corner near the elevator. “I hope…I mean that is…I don’t know anyone here and I was wondering if you wanted to grab breakfast in the morning.” I blurted. A slow smile had spread across his face and he nodded.

“I’ll give you a call in the morning, okay?” The elevator binged to let us know that it was there.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you then. Go get your elevator.”

“Tomorrow,” he said with one last nod and then he disappeared.

“Since then?” I came back to the present with a shake of my head. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I never had the chance. Every time I tried to tell you it was just never the right time, or we were interrupted, or something happened! I’ve been trying to tell you for four years how much you mean to me, and the one time I finally said something you were too drunk to remember!”

“What are you talking about? I would definitely remember a conversation like that!” I snapped.

“It was right after that party with your sorority sisters—“

“Oh my god!” I whispered. “You promised to never ever bring that up!”

I had been partying with some of my former sorority sisters last year, and had had such a shitty day that I just sat and drank until it was time to leave, some eight hours later. I somehow convinced my ride to take me to Jesse’s apartment and I let myself in. Neither he, nor his roomate were home, and by the time Jesse had finally come home from a late study date, he found me in the kitchen with my only my bra and panties on, slumped on the floor where I had passed out. He said that he had tried to get me to walk, but I couldn’t hold my own weight so he had carried me to his bed and when he laid me down I had grabbed him and kissed him passionately and begged him to make love to me. We didn’t make love, but we kissed and touched one another until I made a dash to the bathroom, and spent the better part of the night throwing up, with Jesse taking care of me. I made him swear the next day that we would never mention what had happened the night before. I was embarrased beyond belief, but I let him fuss over me all the next day and even took the gentle ribbing that he gave me, though he was true to his word and never brought up us making out.

“I wanted make love to you, Candice. I really did.” He touched my face tenderly, then my hair. How had I missed all the love that was being expressed in his eyes right then? “I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”

“Oh, Jesse, I’m afraid that it just wouldn’t be a good idea for us to get involved.” I turned from him and started walking slowly in the direction of the car. He must have followed because I heard him say:

“I’m moving away in a few weeks, and I want to be able to say that we tried.”

I had to have time to digest everything. He’s been in love with me for four years and never said anything? I thought to myself over and over.

Truth be told, I had never really thought of him in that way. I thought he was really cute, but I’d never dated a white guy, and hadn’t ever really planned to.

“Please say something, Candice!” He said desperately when we got to the car.

“I don’t know what to say. Can I have a few more minutes?” I glanced at his drawn face. He nodded and started the engine and drove the short distance to my apartment. He stopped the car out front with the engine idyling, but I asked him to come in. “We really have to talk.” I added.

I lead him up the stairs and when I opened the door my roomate, Molly, was sitting on the sofa in the livingroom. We said hello quickly and went to my room where I shut the door firmly and leaned my forehead against it.

“I never should have told you,” Jesse said softly. “We were so good as friends, and I thought that maybe we could try being together as more than that. Candice, don’t leave me. We can be friends if that is all you want, I just want you in my life.”

I took a deep breath and turned to face him. My heart thumped in my chest as I saw the naked emotion in his face. “I don’t know what to say. I’m beyond flattered that you want me. Fucked up Candice Wells who can’t keep a decent man in her life. Candice Wells who has no clue where she is going in the next few weeks, months or years. Candice who is nothing but bad for you!” I sobbed. “No, you find a nice girl who is better for you and I promise I’ll dance at your wedding. Hell, I’ll even sing for you. Just don’t want me.”

“But…”

“You know what I’m like, you know how unfaithful I am!” I continued. “You are the only thing in my life that has been constant, and I want you there for a long time. Sex only fucks things up. And I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I know what you are like.” He moved toward me and took my hands in his. “You’re funny and smart and damn sexy and…” he bent his head closer and his words became softer until our lips met and I sighed. It was the sweetest, sexiest kiss I had ever been given. His hands cradled my head and gently pulled me closer to him. My body betrayed me by moving into Jesse’s arms and opening my mouth to let his tounge touch mine. The kiss deepened until I finally pulled away to catch my breath.

“That was amazing!” I whispered. He didn’t answer, he just pulled me to him and kissed me again, this time wrapping his arms around me holding me tightly. My knees felt like they would buckle under me, this was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt; my body felt like it was on fire and when Jesse’s hands slid to the small of my back I became wet, and suddenly it was as if I wasn’t even in control of myself.

“Don’t push me away, Candice. Let me love you and take care of you.”

I hungrily kissed him, I ran my fingers through his hair and pushed him back to the bed all in a few movements. I pushed him back onto the bed and knelt in front of him, crazy to see the bulge in his pants that had been pressing against stomach. I unbuckled his pants and stooped to take his shoes off, then I slid his khaki pants down his slim hips, long legs and finally off his body. I slowly repeated the same ritual with his boxers and when I looked up I grinned at his beautiful cock. It wasn’t the biggest I had ever seen, but it was definitely the prettiest!

I took a slow, torturous lick of the underside and then ran my hands along his thighs, making his breath come in shallow spurts. I leaned over him and gave him a long, sensuous blow job until he tried to scramble away. I held him tightly and let my head bob faster. “Candice, you have to stop, I’m really close to cumming!” He gasped. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and after a few strokes with my hand I buried him in my throat. I felt him shudder a few seconds before I tasted his cum in my mouth. I swallowed all of him, savoring the taste of him, and then I let him go with a soft pop. I smiled sexily at him and stood up. I pulled my tank over my head and threw it on the floor, then I wiggled out of my skirt and crawled up next to him on the bed.

“That was incredible!” Jesse exclaimed looking at me. His eyes were smoky and half closed. He pulled me to him and we cuddled.

“You should see me fuck!” I quipped as I snuggled closer to him.

“No, I never want to just fuck you. I want you to know how much I love you every single time we make love.” He said seriously.

“Every time, huh?” I propped myself up on my elbow.

“So what are you going to do when you have to move out in a few weeks?” He asked as he gazed into my eyes.

“I don’t know.” I said with a shake of my hair. “Go back home I suppose.”

“I could really use a friend to tell me where the best places are to live in St. Louis, and I could use a roomate too.” He lifted his head and kissed my shoulder.

“Are you saying you want to live together?”

“I would like to get married at some point…”

“How about if we try living together first?” I laughed. “You may not like me after you see what I’m like first thing in the morning.” He pulled me onto his chest and kissed the top of each breast.

“I’m sure everything will be just fine, as long as I do everything you say.”

I laughed happily. “I think we’ll get along just fine, Jesse.”

“I love you,” He said softly, cautiously.

“I love you too,” I said giving him a kiss. “I’m pretty sure I always have.”