tagHumor & SatireFucked Up Fairy Tales

Fucked Up Fairy Tales

byTheBigandBaldGuy©

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time in the middle of a thick forest stood a small cottage, the home of a naughty young woman known to everyone as Little Red Riding Hood due to her bright red hair. Red was well known in the local towns to be a complete cum slut, one who would often show up on Friday night because her mother needed her to purchase some fabric or tools or vegetables, or whatever else they needed in the cottage only to spend all her money on whiskey, drugs, and fucking all the men in town she could. She kept this secret well hidden from her family, however, and would always concoct some story when she arrived home Sunday night about why the money was gone, she smelled oddly, and why she walked like she had just ridden a galloping horse across Europe.

Because of this, her mother still trusted her totally. One day, her mother waved her goodbye at the garden gate, saying: "Grandma is ill. Take her this basket of cakes, but be very careful. Keep to the path through the wood and don't ever stop. That way, you will come to no harm."

Red kissed her mother on the lips, slipping her just a little tongue, and ran off. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll run all the way to Grandma's without stopping," and off she trotted, her large young tits bouncing jauntily as she did so.

However, for as much as Red hid her addiction for cock from her mother, so too did the mother hide the fact that she was a complete cum junkie from her daughter. No sooner had Red and her amazing tits ran away into the woods did a team of the King's rangers appear at the house, having been told when to arrive.

Before Red was even beyond ear shot of the cottage, her mother was naked and in her bedroom with the three young rangers. She sat on the edge of the bed with the three men lined up in front of her, each with their large, thick cocks sticking up unbearably hard. Red's mother sat there, slowly sucking one hard cock into her mouth all the way to the balls, where she would suck it in even a little further into her throat while taking her tongue and swiping it along the balls themselves. She loved the feeling of the man's hard cock actually sticking into her throat, and would remain there for as long as she possibly could. Slowly sliding back down the length of the cock, she would then lean in and gently suck the man's balls into her mouth, making sure to lick that sweet spot at the back of the balls. She did this to each man in turn, stroking the cocks of the other two as she did. Red's mothers sucked and licked and stroked until the three rangers were each about ready to burst; she had already delightedly licked the glistening pre-cum from each swollen cock head.

Now ready to have her holes plugged, Red's mother had one ranger lay on the bed and straddled his cock, slowly sliding it into her sopping wet pussy. She had picked the largest cock to go into her cunt, and gasped now as her weight slid the entire massive thing into her and she could actually feel it in her belly. Once she had recovered from the pleasure of the cock in her pussy, Red's mother leaned forward to expose her ass, which the ranger behind her now happily filled, sliding his large cock all the way in to his balls. Being now well plugged, Red's mother had but one more opening to fill, which she accomplished easily enough by leaning forward and sucking into her mouth the ranger than still stood before her, his large hard cock now a deep red and clearly eager to explode with cum.

There she now lay, getting fucked hard by three huge young cocks at the same time. The rangers in her ass and mouth had timed their forceful thrusts to compliment each other, while the man beneath added his own upward thrusts, so Red's mother felt like she would soon burst so full of cock was she. She had teased these young cocks with her talented tongue and lips to within an inch a exploding, and so now it took not long at all before she could feel, almost simultaneously, each one swell with pre-ejaculation thickness.

The first to go was the ranger in her ass, the hot thick cum soon filling her entire ass until his continued pumping squeezed out much of it. Almost as soon as he had started cumming the ranger in her mouth shot off his massive load as well, the strings of cum shooting all over her tongue and throat, each drop of which was greedily gulped down by Red's mother. The man fucking her pussy lasted just a little longer, but he too soon lost control and filled her wet pussy with his load, shrieking, yelling, and unleashing a massive amount of cum inside her.

Meanwhile, Red made her way through the wood, and soon dispensed with her mother's wise

words. "What lovely mushrooms! And so red."

Laying her basket on the ground, Red bent over the mushrooms. They were of the normal mushroom shape, but the stalks were far thicker than average and each mushroom was anywhere from five to seven inches long. At the base of each stalk were two round spore sack, rounded to make a perfect ball on either side of the shaft. "Mmm...," Red said, licking the tip of one gently and immediately feeling lightheaded as the hallucinogenic cream that oozed out of the small slit took effect, "so tasty! They're nice and ripe, and so big! Mmm...yummy! Delicious!"

Red lay on the ground now on all fours, sucking the largest mushroom she could find deep into her mouth, sucking on the shaft and stroking it as she tried to massage the delicious cream out. Red would stop occasionally to lick the spore sacks as well, finding their smooth, round surface to be too delightful to ignore and enjoying the way the shriveled up just before the spore-laden cream would shoot out of the mushroom head. Red sucked out the contents of one, then two, and before she knew it a dozen such special mushrooms. She felt lightheaded and giddy from all the special cream she had swallowed, and she also felt very, very horny.

Red searched for a bit to find a particularly large, hard, and thick mushroom that she had not yet already deflated from her superb sucking skills. When she did, Red hitched up her skirt and slid the mushroom into her wet pussy, squatting down and bouncing hard to make the mushroom penetrate her over and over again. As she did Red feverishly rubbed her clit, quickly massaging herself into a thunderous orgasm. The last orgasmic shudder raced through her body just as the mushroom released its spore-cream into her pussy; the thick, hot liquid pushed her right into yet another orgasm, her moans echoing throughout the forest.

As the last echoes of her orgasmic moans died away, Red became aware of two glowing yellow eyes spying on her from behind a tree. Scared now because of the strange hallucinations she was having of dancing trees and cocks with little wings on them, Red said to herself. "I must find the path and get the fuck away from here!"

When she stumbled at last to the path again her heart leapt into her mouth at the sound of a gruff voice, which said, "Where are you going, my pretty girl, all alone in the woods?"

"I'm taking Grandma some cakes. She lives at the end of the path," said Red in a slurred voice.

When he heard this, the wolf (for it was the Big Bad Wolf himself) politely asked, "Does Grandma live by herself?"

"Oh, yes," replied Red, "and she never opens the door to strangers!"

"Ah, I see," said Wolf. "So then I bet we'd have time to fuck before you get there, right?" he said, and pulled out a gigantic, hairy wolf cock.

Now, Red was not the kind of girl to ever refuse cock, and she had nothing against fucking any of the woodland animals. She'd been fucked by deer – the antlers were a problem – rabbits – tiny cocks, and they cum way too quickly – and even bear – once you go black bear, you never go back there – as well as wolves. But there was just something unappealing about this particular wolf. Red suspected he was the kind of wolf that would fuck a pretty young thing such as herself, then slip her something in her whiskey, and the next thing she'd know is he have her pimped out to Chinese businessmen in Los Angeles and have to call him Big Daddy.

So she politely refused his come on. "Fuck you, Wolf," she said, her politeness slightly affected by the effects of the mushrooms. "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last cock in all the forest!"

Wolf growled angrily at Red's rude response, snarling at her and even considering just pouncing and fucking her right there. But he had something else planned. "Goodbye," he said tersely. " Perhaps we'll meet again...soon." Then he bounded away fast as he could, making a bee-line to Grandma's cottage and rapping on the door.

"Who's there?" cried Grandma from her bed.

"It's me, Little Red Riding Hood. I've brought you some cakes because you're ill," replied the wolf, trying hard to hide his gruff voice.

"Lift the latch and come in," said Grandma, unaware of anything amiss. This was because Grandma, despite her advanced age, still liked to play as much as her daughter and granddaughter, and at this particular moment in time was tied to her bed spread eagle. She couldn't tell that anything was wrong because she was blindfolded and as such was taken in by Wolf's lousy imitation of Red.

Wolf was taken back by what he saw. Grandma splayed out on the bed, black leather strips keeping her wrists and ankles bound to the bed posts, her pussy clearly exposed, eyes well-covered by a black silk cloth. Still being overly aroused by this run in with Red, Wolf couldn't help himself and pounced immediately on Grandma.

He landed right in between Grandma's legs, running his long, wet tongue all the way from her pussy to her breasts in one swift lick. Grandma shuddered at the touch of his rough tongue to her sensitive skin. "You're not Red!" she gasped through heavy breathing, "But I like you, whoever you are!!"

Wolf was by now sexually enraged and licked Grandma with frenzy, soon using his long tongue to whip her into first one, then two, then three orgasms. His enormous, hairy cock now stood stiff and erect before him, which he immediately plunged deep into Grandma, fucking her savagely, slamming his cock into her repeatedly. Wolf had a tremendous capacity to control his orgasms and so he fucked Grandma like this for a very long time, giving her orgasm after orgasm.

Once Wolf finally decided he was ready to cum, he pulled his giant cock out of Grandma and shot his load, cannon-like, all over her belly, chest, and face. Wolf roared and growled in animalistic pleasure as a massive amount of cum covered her in a thick, shimmering layer of cream. But when he was done, Wolf couldn't help but notice that Grandma was just laying there with no moaning, no shuddering, no whimpering...and no breathing.

He had quite literally fucked her to death.

But this actually made little difference to Wolf as he had just planned to eat her anyway, which he did as soon as he cut the leather strips. He swallowed the old lady in a single gulp, and soon after Red tapped on the door.

"Grandma, can I come in?" she called.

Now, the wolf had put on the old lady's shawl and cap and slipped into the bed. Trying to imitate Grandma's quavering little voice, he replied, "Open the latch and come in, sexy – I mean, safely!"

"What a deep voice you have," said Red in surprise.

"The better to greet you with," said Wolf.

"Goodness, what big eyes you have," said Red, inching closer to the bed.

"The better to see you with," said Wolf, his cock now growing hard again as Red drew closer.

"And what big hands you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood, stepping over to the bed and leaning over, the large tits now almost falling out of her skimpy shirt.

"The better to hug you with," said Wolf.

"And...oh my! What a big cock you have," Red said, now seeing the large bulge slowing rising from the bed.

"The better to fuck you with!" growled the wolf, and jumping out of bed, he began to chase Red around the small cottage, his cock bobbing up and down with every step he took.

In the meantime, a hunter had emerged from the woods, and on noticing the cottage, he decided to stop and ask for a drink. He had spent a lot of time trying to catch a large wolf that had been terrorizing the neighborhood by pimping out all the local sexy girls in LA, but had lost its tracks. The hunter could hear sounds of a struggle coming from inside the cottage. He peered through the window and saw the large wolf himself, pinning down a sexy red head and mere inches away from plunging his cock into her.

Without making a sound, the hunter carefully loaded his gun and gently opened the window. He pointed the barrel straight at the wolf's head and BANG! The wolf was dead.

He rushed into the cottage to help Red, who still lay on the floor after her ordeal. He stand over her now, realizing that Wolf had torn open her shirt and her tits lay out in full view, and that her skirt was ripped up the side and her shaved pussy was clearly revealed. His cock grew thick and hard, and Red was clearly able to see the large bulge.

"Are you alright?" the hunter said, staring lustfully at her exposed flesh.

Always knowing how best to thank a man for anything, Red sat up in front of the hunter and said, "Oh, yes sir, I'm well now thanks to you," even as she unbuckled his belt, unlaced his pants and reached in to expose his thick hard cock. "So let me show you how thankful I am."

Red took a long, languid time slowly sucking the hunter's cock, using her lips and tongue express her deeply felt gratitude. She would gently suck the head into her mouth, then slowly and lazily swirl her tongue around it, lick all along the shaft to his balls, and the finally suck the entire thing into her mouth, stroking it with her hand while sliding it to her very throat. She did this to the hunter until his cock was impossibly hard and nearly purple, and then she asked innocently, "Do you want to cum in my mouth, hunter?"

The sex-crazed man made answer by grabbing her bright red hair by both fists and shoving his cock into her mouth, pumping hard with his hips even as he slammed Red's head towards him with his hands. The hunter was giving Red a passionate face fuck the likes of which he had never enjoyed before, and she soon started making happy little moaning sounds in anticipation of the cum she knew she was about to taste.

But the hunter surprised her when he suddenly pulled her up by the hair, leaned Red over her grandmother's bed, and said, "Actually, I think I'd rather cum up your ass," and slid his spit-slick cock deep into her ass with one quick thrust. Red swooned at the sudden pleasure and delighted by being taken so roughly, and quickly came to an unexpected orgasm. The hunter, now excited well beyond the ability to control himself, shot off a massive load of cum deep into Red's ass not long after he started pumping her.

So Red gathered up the basket she was going to give to Grandma and made her way home, where she arrived just in time to see three young rangers in the King's service leaving her mother's home. Red explained what had happened, but no one really cared all that much because everyone actually despised Grandma. A few months later her estate was released from probate, Red and her mother received a sizable inheritance which they both spent on whiskey, drugs, and sex, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Once upon a time in a large forest, close to a village, stood the cottage where the Teddy Bear family lived. They were not really proper Teddy Bears. Father Bear was very big, with a cock so large it could choke a moose. Mother Bear was middling in size, but had such a voracious sexual appetite that not even her husband's massive cock was enough to satisfy her; the couple very often hosted gang-bang parties in their little cottage, where all the local woodland animals and villagers would come to fuck Mother Bear all night long. Only Baby Bear could be described as a Teddy Bear, at least in appearance, but because he was quickly developing into a sexual sadist he could hardly have been considered one in temperament.

Each bear had its own size of bed. Father Bear's was large and nice and comfy. Mother Bear's bed was middling in size, with quite a depression in the middle from having taken so many gang fucks in the past. Baby Bear had a fine little cherry wood bed that Father Bear had ordered from a couple of beaver friends, upon which hung his quickly growing collection of whips, cat-o-nine tails, and barbed chains.

Beside the fireplace, around which the family sat in the evenings, stood a large carved chair for the head of the house, a delightful blue velvet armchair for Mother Bear with a large dildo built into it so she could sew in the evening and masturbate at the same time, and a very little chair covered in black leather and studs for Baby Bear.

Neatly laid out on the kitchen table stood three china bowls. A large one for Father Bear, next to which was the most recent copy of Hustler magazine; a smaller one for Mother Bear, next to which was a well-lubed and used ass plug; and a little bowl for Baby Bear, next to which were the twisted, broken, and sexually suggestive dolls he would play with and bend to his will.

The neighbors were all very respectful to Father Bear and people raised their hats when he went by. This was mostly because the last dumbass that disrespected Father Bear was a local farmer who had had way too much moonshine, and after insulting the entire bear species had that massive cock of Father Bear's shoved down his throat until his eyeballs popped out of his head. Father Bear liked that the locals respected him so much and he always politely replied to their greetings. Mother Bear, of course, had lots of friends; she'd visit them in the afternoons to exchange good advice and recipes for jam and bottled fruit, then fuck their brains out for the rest of the day. Baby Bear, however, had hardly any friends. This was partly because he was rather a bully and liked to win games and arguments; also because he was constantly ordering others to bend over here, lick this, stick your finger there, tie her up like this, whip that, and it all became rather bothersome for him to have any real friends.

Not far away, lived a fair-haired young woman named Goldilocks who had a similar nature to Baby Bear, only she was haughty and stuck-up as well, and though Baby Bear often asked her to come and play at his house, she always said no. This was not because she did not enjoy bondage and pain and domination, but rather because she wanted to be the one directing the bondage and delivering the pain.

One day, Mother Bear made a nice pudding. It was a new recipe, with blueberries, nuts, crushed berries, and just enough poppy-products to make everyone who ate it take a nice long trip to Nirvana. Her friends told her it was delicious, which one would pretty much expect from any opioid-laced dessert.

When it was ready, she said to the family, "It has to be left to cool now, otherwise it won't taste nice and Mr. Brownstone won't really come out to play. That will take at least an hour. Why don't we go and visit the Beavers' new baby? Mummy Beaver will be pleased to see us, and while the little brat naps we can have a go at Mummy Beaver's...beaver." Father Bear and Baby Bear would much rather have tucked into the pudding, warm or not, but Father Bear liked the thought of fucking Mummy Beaver, and Baby Bear always liked to watch his parents play with the other woodland parents.

A short time after the Bears left to "visit" Mummy Beaver, Goldilocks passed by their house as she picked special flowers, ones she would later dry and smoke while having a slave drink her golden showers and lick the remnants off her golden-haired pussy.

"Oh, what an ugly house the Bears have!" said Goldilocks, kind of bitchy, to herself as she went down the hill. "I'm going to peep inside! It won't be beautiful like my house, but I'm dying to see where Baby Bear lives." She tapped loudly on the door, but received no answer from within and could hear not a sound.

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byTheBigandBaldGuy© 4 comments/ 39861 views/ 11 favorites

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