Fully Sighted

"I feel like you just had an insightful thought there. Sounds like you're speaking about it from a distance instead of as the girlfriend."

"Really?"

"Well, you spoke very objectively. Almost like you were looking at it from the outside."

"You don't think it was my fault?"

"My guess is that although you're not perfect..." He wished he knew how she was sitting and where her hand was, so he could take her hand in his. He decided to risk it and put his right hand out towards her. She put her hand in it. He felt her shuffle to move close so their hands to clasp more naturally and rest on his knee. "...this most likely has nothing to do with you. He's a wounded man. His father probably never taught him to be a man, so he works too hard to prove it to you."

"Hmm...That makes sense."

"Tell me what he was like?" He stroked his thumb over her skin on her hand as he asked.

As she heard herself describe the man she had dated she realized more and more of the red flags she swept under the carpet. Telling about his manipulation and controlling behaviors brought a rush of emotion and she started crying again and he pulled her close. She leaned into him and his arm came from the top of the couch and encircled her shoulder and arm. His fingers rubbing soothingly on her skin, his breath occasionally blowing lightly on her neck.

"You're safe here sweet Victoria. He can't get you here. I'll help you." His first endearment. He repeated the reassuring whispered phrases.

She felt safe, in a warm cabin, with a handsome man, with strong arms encircling her. What safer place was there? The tissues were piling up from wiping her tears. She was starting to feel at peace, at the end of her tears.

He was quiet and wanting to stay here forever with her. He had captured her voice in his music, but he started imagining how he could capture her tumult and tears and pain in music.

"Are you sure it's not my fault." She whispered. She wasn't sure she wanted the answer but she was starting on the journey to understand what happened with Philip.

"No, it's not your fault."

"Are you sure it's not my fault." The question could be answered easily but believing was harder.

"Philip's dysfunction did not start or continue because of you. It's not your fault."

There was a long pause.

"It's not my fault?!" It was a question and a statement.

"It's not your fault."

"It's not my fault." Her voice was louder.

"It is not Victoria's fault." He said is slowly and clearly.

Another long pause. She started grinning as happiness rose inside her. She had found the perfect escape, and Philip wouldn't be controlling her life any more.

"Crying makes me tired." Victoria explained a yawn that escaped from her lips.

"Is it time for bed?" He was just asking if she wanted to sleep, but with this fabulous woman in his arms his thoughts roamed to other things they could do in bed besides sleep. He wondered if this woman could ever see him as more than just a safe friend.

"Could you play for me again?" She turned to him so she could see his face.

"Sure." He didn't want to let go of her but his fingers had started itching to see what song would emerge that would sound like what he learned about her in the last few hours.

He started to move to stand up when he felt her reach in closer and a soft kiss landed on his cheek. It made him smile but not brave enough to go in for a kiss- yet. She released him from their 'embrace' and he made his way to the piano.

Victoria put her worries aside while Tim played for her, and became all too aware that the day had been entirely too short to suit her. Eventually she would just have to call her friend about her card, but that part of her life would just have to wait.

The music was almost a repeat of the night before. He started with familiar songs she would know then moved to slower, softer music to relax her, then moved into playing the song he was writing inspired by her. He didn't know if or when Victoria would fall asleep but he played thinking of her. He let his fingers pick out a melody that sounded to him like Victoria's tears.

She was quiet when he finished playing so he quietly whispered, "Are you awake Victoria?" No movement or sound. He walked quietly to the couch, and carefully reached to find her hand. "Time to go to bed." He said as he tried to gently awaken her.

She grumbled as she came back to consciousness. "Okay...Help me up." She pulled on his hand to lazily stand, and held his hand on the way to the room. "I don't feel like brushing my teeth. Is that terrible?"

"No, just sleep." She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good night Sweetie." His words were felt natural.

"Good night." Her eyes were heavy but as the endearment registered she forced her eyes awake and saw him kneeling beside her bed. He was the sweet one, the kind and generous one with so much to offer. She reached towards him and rubbed his cheek, feeling his skin, letting her hand rest with her finger on his chin and cheek. So there were men left in the world who thought of others needs first, who weren't selfish and controlling. Here was a treasure.

She wondered what it would be like to make love to this man as she looked at his face. She blushed and almost pulled her hand away. His skin was warm. Would his blindness make him touch her more to make up for what he couldn't see. Would he use his hands to see? She felt herself getting warmer at the thought. If she knew he could see her she would probably try not to give away her emotions on her face but she allowed herself a big smile. She hoped she would dream about those good thoughts when she was asleep. She wondered if he could ever be interested in her, she was such a mess right now.

"Would it be okay if I felt your face Victoria? I wonder what you look like."

"Well, I'm not beautiful or anything, so you're not missing much."

"I imagine you are biased. I'd like to judge for myself."

"I suppose it would be fine." She didn't feel comfortable telling him that she wanted it.

Victoria dropped her hand from his cheek as Tim drew his up to her face. Tim listened to her response in her breathing and any tension in her face. Tim started with a soft, gentle touch near the ears. His exploring fingers trailed up to her forehead and eyebrows. Tim could tell her eyes were closed, he hoped that meant she was enjoying the sensations and hadn't just said 'yes' out of any obligation. He could hear her breathing pick up which could mean she was feeling some excitement. His fingers trailed down her cheeks, down her chin and slightly down to her neck.

On his way back up to her cheeks he felt the cheeks move into a smile and a giggle escaped her lips. He wanted to kiss those lips and hear the voice he loved moan for him. Was that giggle a signal that she might be interested too? With his hands on her cheeks now and her breath definitely increasing, he lightly rubbed his thumb over her lips, then the other thumb.

Her intake of breath made his touching turn more into caresses and his fingers explored her nose, tickled lightly on her neck below her ear. Certainly he couldn't really know her face without feeling those lips with his own. He lowered his face to hers slowly to give her an opportunity to pull away but instead her face moved closer and he lightly kissed her lips as if it was all part of feeling her face.

When he kissed her, her response told him she was dying to be kissed. His instinct had been right. The kiss got his adrenaline running and their lips started moving. He wondered if kissing was any different if you could see, because he couldn't imagine it feeling any more intense than it felt now with Victoria. Their lips moved together slowly exploring this new sensation.

He wanted more but would only follow where Victoria led. He didn't want to pressure her or scare her away. But a thirst for more kisses started growing in him. She leaned into him, and let out a small murmur of pleasure.

She pulled slowly away from the kiss but kept their heads close. "I'm surprised I didn't scare you away with my emotional outbursts today."

"You showed me you were real. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'm not usually weepy like I was today. I wish you could know me when I'm not loaded down with this dead weight."

"I can't imagine being more attracted to you then I am now, but I would love to know you more."

"I think you're silly for being attracted to me." Her lack of confidence showed through in every conversation.

"I think you're crazy for letting me kiss you. But I'm so glad you did."

"I'm glad I did too. If I wasn't so tired I might go for another long kiss like that."

"There's no rush." He wanted more and wasn't feeling sleepy at all. "Will you sit with me a few more minutes?" She was sleepy but didn't want to watch him walk out of the room away from her.

"I'd love to." His words relaxed her and she snuggled into the bed.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly with an almost-grin on her face. Tim stayed close, sitting on the edge of the bed, listened to her breathing and thinking about the day. He stroked her hair and her hand being careful where he touched but not wanting to let go. After she was soundly asleep, he quietly left her room and spent the rest of the evening the same way as the previous evening: writing her song.

*********************

It seemed a habit was forming. Their two nights and two mornings followed the same pattern. She slept in late while Tim recorded music. Tim checked the weather and heard that the sunny day was going to provide Victoria with the weather she needed to leave. He wondered where she'd go and when he'd see her again. Did the kiss mean anything to her?

Victoria woke and remembered the previous day. What a delicious dream world she'd driven into while driving away from her nightmare. Tim was the kind of man she had dreamed of. He was so opposite of Philip, kind, sensitive, able to carry on long conversations, and not willing to let physical needs control him.

She wondered at what the weather would hold for the day and if she would have an easy excuse to stay another day. She looked out the window and was distressed to see the sun shining and the snow obviously melting. After the kiss last night she didn't want to leave. She wanted more of those kisses, more of those conversations. Would they do more than kiss? What would it be like to be with someone other than Philip? What would it be like to be with a man who was blind? How could she get it if her excuse was gone?

She started getting ready when she thought about the advantages of not having to have her hair perfect, or make up on because he couldn't see it anyway. She left her room, and greeted Tim who was again at the keyboard. She showered and was about to put on her clothes when she realized that she could flash Tim and he would never know. She giggled and walked naked from the bathroom to her room.

"Victoria?" Tim called out.

"I just finished in the shower." Had she been caught?

"Your breakfast is ready."

She giggled at her own silliness, "I'll be right there." She disappeared into her room to get dressed simply.

He hoped that if she wanted a kiss she would initiate it because he didn't want to make a mistake with her. Was it the start of something special or just a blip on her radar screen. He sat down after placing their food on the table. Then stood when she came out.

"Hi," she started.

"Uh, Hi."

"So...you made breakfast?"

"Yes...I waited for you to get up to eat." They both sat down after the awkward start.

Victoria wanted a kiss so badly and didn't know how to initiate it so just asked. "There's actually something else I want."

"Oh, did I miss something?"

"Yes." They were working up courage to say the words. "A kiss."

Tim laughed and was ecstatic that her thoughts followed his. "That kiss last night was sensational. I wouldn't mind trying again."

They both stood and found each other easily. This time their bodies moved close as they kissed. She raised herself up on her toes to reach his lips. Their lips moving as last night but with more vigor. Now they had the benefit of a good night's sleep, of knowledge of shared interest and a fresh day without thoughts of Philip. Her hands moved up around his neck, which pulled their bodies together. Their first time to be touching with their whole body. He could feel the curves of her lightly against his. It lasted longer than last night and caused more sensation throughout him.

He pulled away and laughed. "Now I know that last night wasn't just a dream. You are a good kisser."

They sat down to breakfast. "No, you are." She responded.

"So, I looked outside and saw that the snow is still coming down pretty hard. There's so much snow on the ground, and it looks so windy." Victoria started to put in place the plan she had come up with.

Tim didn't know what to think. The weather report had said the snow was melting, and that Victoria would be leaving. He was quiet and didn't say anything. Did Victoria want to stay? Was she coming up with an excuse to stay with him.

"So...I guess I was thinking that since I'm not used to driving in the snow I shouldn't leave today if it means driving through this falling snow."

"Certainly, I don't want you going anywhere in bad weather. You're welcome to stay." He would gladly play her game if that's what she wanted.

"I don't want to be a bother."

"You're welcome to stay. Please don't go out in this weather. I'd worry about you."

"If you insist. Maybe the weather will be better tomorrow?" She was glad he was blind and couldn't look outside and see the good weather and melting icicles.

"So what should we do?" He asked.

"I have a few things in mind." Good thing he couldn't see her blushing, she thought. "more piano, more talking,...more...kissing."

"That sounds like a great day to me." He was happy she wasn't disappearing yet. One more day to get under her skin.

Tim guessed that his classes probably wouldn't be cancelled again today. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and took his cell phone with him. He called the school.

"Yes, Tony, this is Tim. I'm sick today and not going to be able to make it. I'm sorry?" He wasn't missing this day with Victoria. He rarely called in sick. He flushed the toilet and went back to Victoria.

"I worked on your song some more. Do you want to hear it?"

"I'd love to." She lowered a kiss to his forehead as she stood and collected the dishes. He moved to the piano while she cleaned up. "I'm ready now." She said as she found her way to the couch.

He played her song. It wasn't perfect and even as his fingers moved he thought of variances that would sounds better. He had added a new part which 'described' her mood the day before. It was loud and more chaotic than the rest of song. It was the part he wrote last night.

Victoria was even more impressed with his playing. But something about the music stirred her up inside. Is that what the language of tears sounded like? The sounds resonated with her emotions. Were tears their own language? Had he understood and connected with her tears? She felt he had. Was he now communicating back to her in his own language, just like tears had served as hers?

She started tearing up and even crying softly as she stared at this man who was playing her heart.

"Should I stop playing?" He was worried that he had upset her.

"No, I love your playing. Could I come sit by you?"

"Yes," he slid the bench over so she could sit and he could still reach the keys from the center of the piano. She snuggled up close to him, leaning against him. Wanting to be close but not get in his way. She cried softly again but he continued playing, just like she wanted him to.

They kissed when the song ended. He wiped her tears away. "I feel like you're speaking a language to me when you played today."

"It is your song. It's what flows out of me when I think of you. It's the music that comes to my fingers when I think of your voice and your tears."

"Wow, that's beautiful Tim. Thank you."

"You're welcome. You're easy to write for."

They moved to the couch and she leaned against him. They talked easily now. She wanted to learn more about him and asked him questions. He found himself sharing things he didn't usually share.

During a pause in the conversation he said, "I haven't told you yet but I'm actually not completely blind."

"Really?"

"I can see things that are up close. If I put something right in front of my eyes then I can pick out their pattern or detail. So...I could see your eyes and face when we kissed."

"I hope my looks didn't disappoint you?"

"Not at all, Victoria. I wish I could see your face all the time. You are beautiful."

"Not really, but thank you, Tim."

"You are beautiful! I won't let you argue the honest facts. Are you ready for lunch?" Tim moved quickly through the kitchen but Victoria helped a little. Tim wished he had known she would be there, he would have purchased more variety of thing for her to choose from. They ate their lunch together.

After eating Victoria spoke up, "I have a confession to make."

"Confess away. You won't shock me."

"I've been thinking about your kisses and wanting more. I think it's been at least an hour since I've had one."

"That's the kind of confession that I like. Hmmm, let me think about that...Hmm...Okay, I guess I could try again." He teased her, but was sure he wanted them more than she did. They stood again like they had in the morning and started kissing. There was more need this time, and Victoria felt that this time it would turn into more passion. Their arms encircled each other. Their bodies drew closer. Their kiss moved more furiously, and Victoria's moans followed.

Victoria's arms moved down his body running over him, down to his hips. She used her hand to pull their hips together. It was primal and real. I was what he wanted, it was what he'd wanted since the first time he heard her voice. He wanted her and she was standing next to him. Arousal arrived between his legs, hard and hot and heavy. She moved from warm to hot with his touch.

He slid his hand around the side of her neck, cupping her face, and he took his lips off hers to trail a path down her neck. Take it slow, he told himself. Don't devour her, don't scare her off. He kissed her neck and down to the line where her shirt started.

To her it felt like this was their hide away, their time set aside. Her place to recover and rebuild. Her time to wash Philip down the drain and start fresh. . Looking back on it hadn't it been more manipulation with Philip? She needed Tim and his kisses and touches to forget Philip. Philip had built up sexual desire and anticipation in her many times, but not like this. No, it was more than that, she needed Tim because he was himself the man she was looking for. She knew even if she hadn't been running from Philip they would have found their way to this moment somehow. This was a mutual pleasure and happiness.

******************

She pulled him closer, then rocked her hips against him. It was a small move, just a brush up against him, but it was like plugging in to a power outlet because she came in contact with his hard cock. Wow, she did that to him, and they weren't even naked yet. She felt moisture forming between her legs.

He kissed her as if he wanted to devour her. Clasped together as if he'd never let her go. His tongue invaded her mouth, a favor she returned, relishing his warm, delicious taste. She wanted to feel more of him, more of that hardness that had just invaded her consciousness.

It had been so long for him. Did she know what she was doing to him? Did she really want him that badly? His hand searched over her body and felt that her shirt wasn't tucked in and he let his finger trail under it. Her back felt soft, and his fingers spanned open to touch more of her. She moaned loudly as he touched her and he continued. He imagined what her pussy would feel like if she felt this good already.