G is for Golf

Being a long par five however, he was confident he could make up the loss in distance in his second shot and take back his advantage. Standing off to the side Jill waited patiently. The thought of her standing there of course very much on his mind. It had gotten to the point where he'd even brushed her off, no longer allowing her to even give him is "single" stroke. It was no longer arousing. Though his balls continued to ache with unsatisfied need.

He went into his backswing, and as he did, saw her move, saw her breasts as they once more came into view...and shanked the ball off to the right.

"Ok Jill, that's not fucking fair and you know it!" he said throwing down his fairway wood in disgust.

"Oh? And why isn't it?" she questioned.

"How'd you like it if I was to stand here and show you my ass while you tried hitting the ball!" he exclaimed.

"Go ahead, try it!" she suggested. Because the way I see it, if I put this anywhere's near up close to the green, you're in a lot of trouble. You just gave me a stroke!"

Jack indeed lowered his pants, mooning his wife, wiggling his ass. But he wasn't quiet about it either, yelling, screaming and carrying on though Jill made no effort to stop him. She went into her swing.

Jack turned watching the ball arch gracefully towards the hole. "Fuck!" he said pulling his pants up.

Neither reached the green in regulation, though both lay just off it with Jack's ball having the better lie though Jill's was closer, though hers too was difficult as she was above the hole, and the green sloped steeply away from her.

They were dead even.

As they'd approached the green, Jack had noticed a small gathering of fellow golfers watching their approach, some actually taking seats within the championship bleachers. Cupping his eyes against the bright sun, he saw who appeared to be two of his golfing buddies standing there watching. It was confirmed a moment later when Derrick, one of the guys he played with most frequently, waved. Jack waved back, but not all that enthusiastically. And the fact that some even had begun clapping as they approached made him all the more irritable and confused. Jill on the other hand actually acknowledged their presence with thanks, as though she was some fucking pro-assed golfer heading for the last green of the championship as she nodded her head and waved back.

Jack was grateful for the sudden silence as he lined up his chip shot. Taking his time, he swung perfectly, lifting the ball onto just the right line where it bounced once, then rolled in a perfect line towards the pin. It hit the pin, ran halfway around the hole on the backside, and stopped, just hovering inches away from the hole. It was of course an easy tap in for par. But he was upset that it hadn't gone in. Still confident as Jill would need this to tie him, Jack was reasonably certain that with her less than perfect putting skills, the likelihood of her putting the ball in the hole as remote.

She barely tapped it, watching the ball initially appear as though it would hardly go much further, then suddenly, unexpectedly picking up speed as it inched it's way towards the hole. When hers hit the flagstick, it stopped, then as though in slow motion, hovered there momentarily before actually dropping in.

"Sudden Death! Sudden Death!" Jack started yelling towards her, jumping up and down.

"Ah honey?" she spoke. "You're forgetting something," she said.

"Oh? Such as?"

"Such as...this is the number one handicap hole yes?"

Jack had forgotten all about that. As such, she had taken the hole, and their match. Jack owed his wife the expensive tennis bracelet she'd bet him for.

#

As they walked back to the club house amongst a few taunting jeers as well as a little laughter, Jack felt the hair on the back of his neck raise in alarm. Especially when he saw the club Pro approaching, though "Eddie" as he was known, was also a very good friend of Jacks.

"Tough day?" Eddie asked tossing Jill a friendly smile as she walked by.

"I'll be in the woman's bathroom," she told her husband. "Be back in a few."

Jack glared at her as she disappeared inside. "You might could say that," he stated still frustrated, now in more ways than one.

"Ah Jack?" Eddie began. "There's probably something you should know."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Well...you see," he began, trying very hard to control what was obviously a snicker, "for security purposes," he tried saying, now having even more difficulty trying to contain himself, "several closed circuit camera's around the course. You know, so we can monitor play, send the marshals out if its too slow, or if people are doing things they shouldn't be doing..." he was still grinning as Jack's eyes suddenly turned into saucers.

"You mean..."

"Oh fuck yeah Jack!" Eddie finally guffawed, no longer capable of holding back. "And to be honest with you, that was probably the most exciting round of play I've seen since Tiger won the Masters!"

Eddie handed him a black video cassette. "Not to worry, it's the only copy. But I'll be the first to admit, I was tempted, damn fucking tempted. The sight of you, pants down, wiggling your ass like that trying to distract your wife? Fuck Jack...that was classic, fucking classic!"

Eddie walked off leaving Jack to his own musings. He stared down at the videotape he held in his hand as his friend Derrick approached.

"Have to tell you buddy," he began. "By the time the two of you made the turn, you had the entire clubhouse glued to the edge of their seats! Best fucking round of golf I've ever seen!" he said slapping Jack on the back. "By the way, any tips on playing the course today?" he said laughing.

"Yeah, just one. Don't make any bets with your wife if it's for something expensive. No matter how good a golfer you are, or how good you might think you are, you'll lose."

And with that, Jack stuck the cassette into his bag, and smiled.