Genie: A Love Story

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Aaron loses time, but finds something more valuable.
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Note: Hi everyone, this is my first submission and really my first attempt at writing. This story has heavy Japanese influence (kata: martial art forms, bokken: wooden practice sword, gi: martial arts uniform) and may names will be in Japanese as well. This work and the ones to follow where inspired by Joe Brolly's Genie Chronicles. Please leave feedback both good and bad. I am hoping to do a chapter every month for those who like the story. Thanks and enjoy!


Chapter 1
It was a quite night in Phoenix Arizona, just starting to cool from the summer heat although still warm. Aaron enjoyed the nights’ breeze as he walked down the street, which almost seemed abandoned in the 3 o’clock hour. Just south of Shea on 24thst Aaron decided to walk on to the mountain preserve. After about 20 minutes of hiking in the moonlight, Aaron heard a shuffling behind him. Aaron thinking that it was probably just a branch he ran in to and tried not to worry about it, and why should he worry he thought “I’m a big guy and I’m tough the only thing I really have to worry about out here would be pumas and there have not been any in this area in a long time.” It was in that instant that he knew it was a puma and swiveled around, but it was too late. As Aaron turned he saw that the big cat had already pounced and was in the air. Aaron put his hands up to protect his face. The puma sank its teeth into his left forearm tearing cleanly through his flesh. As Aaron fell back his life flashed before his eyes and as he landed he felt a quick sting of pain as his head hit a large piece of quartz. At that moment his world faded to darkness and his last thought was that he was going to die.

Aaron could hear sounds around him that he knew immediately where not the sounds of the desert or the mountain. Aaron slowly opened his eyes and was blinded by the room’s florescent lighting. As he slowly looked around the room, he began to recognize his surroundings, He was at Paradise Valley Hospital. Aaron looked down at his left arm and saw what looked like a nasty burn on his flesh.

The door swung open and startled Aaron who quickly brought his hands to a defensive position ripping out the IVs in his arms. Seeing Aaron pop up scared the nurse and she gave out a brief scream. “Oh my god, you scared me have to death sweetie” the nurse said franticly. “I know you must be confused I’m Amy and I am your nurse this shift.” She added. “How did I get here?” Aaron asked calmly for some reason he did not feel panicked or scared, he felt almost like this was just normal. “You where attacked by a mountain lion up by shadow mountain high school. Apparently a jogger who was thankfully carrying a handgun saw what happened and came to your rescue” Amy told him. “How long have I been out?” Aaron asked thinking it had been maybe a few hours tops. Amy took a deep breath in which made Aaron worry a bit. Amy looked him in the eye and said “Aaron you have been in a persistent vegetative state for almost 2 years.” The information hit him like a ton of bricks. He had lost 2 years of his life, it was hard for him to wrap his head around. “I am glad that you woke up today though.” Amy said softly. “Why is that?” Aaron asked curiously. “Because the state was going to pull the plug tomorrow morning , since you had no insurance they have been fitting the bill and they came to the decision that it was costing them to mush to keep you alive.” She responded bluntly. “Up until the time you woke up the machines where the only thing keeping you alive.” She added. “I need to get up I have a job to get to” Aaron said coldly. “You can’t leave yet Aaron. I will call the doctor down here to take a look at you and talk to you.” Amy said as she walked out.

About 10 minutes later Dr. Fernandez came in and checked all of Aaron’s Vitals and did some tests which took forever only to find that from what they could see the only thing wrong with Aaron besides scaring was his Diabetes. Aaron then asked “So doc and I free to go?” “Yes you can go but you are going to need someone to bring you some closes and drive you home. Also you have a follow up with me in 5 days and of course call or come back if you have any issues.” Dr. Fernandez responded.

“I already brought him cloths and I will be taking him home.” Came a voice from the door way. Aaron turned to look at the familiar voice and saw that it was Nobuyuki Sensei. “Sensei how did you know I was awake?” Aaron said shocked “Because I know all Aaron…” The old man said. Amy broke down laughing “Aaron I called him about a half hour age” she said through her laughter. “well I guess there is that too” the old man said with a smile on his face. “throw this on and we can go home.” He continued, tossing a new black gi and belt at him.

After getting dressed and getting what little valuables back from security Aaron and his Sensei walked out to Aaron’s car. “I payed it off after your first month of being in a coma.” Sensei told him. “Thank you Sensei, Umm… I am guessing that I no longer have an apartment anymore do I?” Aaron said. “No, I and Kyle moved all your things to the apartment above the dojo. I figured you would be staying with me for quite some time after you woke up.” Sensei said coolly “Thank you again Sensei” Aaron said as they got into the car and drove away.

The ride to the dojo was very quiet, neither of them wanting to speak at length about what happened. When they got to the dojo, Aaron had the thought that this place and not changed at all since he saw it last. And this thought was very comforting. As they walked through the main room Sensei said “I would suggest that you meditate and go to bed.” “Thank you Sensei, but I think I may go over so short katas before bed.” Aaron responded. “In that case there is a bokken on my desk in the office it may be old but it has a fine balance to it” His Sensei suggested. “Thank you Sensei I believe I will try it.” Aaron said and bowed. The old man returned the bow and walked into the darkness at the back of the dojo.

Aaron walked over to Sensei’s desk and saw the old bokken. It was made of White Oak and had no finish left on it at all. Aaron picked it up to inspect it closer and saw that the bokken had a kanji stamped in the bottom in a strange blue ink. The Kanji was blessing which he said in voluntarily when he read it “Megumi”. In an instant there was a dark blue mist swirling around him almost trapping him, The world around him grew dark and he passed out on the floor of the office.

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GreywolfrisingGreywolfrising11 months ago

Well it's way to short and looks like you've lost interest. an editor would do wonders if you ever continue

MarkT63MarkT63over 2 years ago

You really need an editor. Also there was no lead in to another chapter. Will there be more??

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
more please

more please

TJSkywindTJSkywindover 10 years ago
Good start

If you need an editor, you should check out the list herein. If you have no luck, drop me a line and I'll be happy to help out.

There are many ways to write, but the first part is to actually write. You've taken that step. Some writers can just start writing, and the stories seem to go where they will. Other writers outline the story, a sentence or two about the main characters, and how it all should take place. If you want to write, do it. To write well takes practice. For example, the comments about the coma by other writers are well founded. However, if it fits within your vision, you can keep the events as is -- but you have to explain them to the reader. For example, when the kanji affected him, did he pass out? Or is he actually waking up from a dream? See?

You did ask for feedback. Most of what you've received has been good. Don't give up. And good luck.

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