tagHumor & SatireGet Into My Shorts Pt. 03

Get Into My Shorts Pt. 03

byCoolville©

As old William put it, 'brevity is the soul of wit'. The wit can be discussed, but I certainly guarantee brevity with this series. They're quicker than an 18-year old's orgasm or the duration of an 88-year old's erection. Short and sweet erotic fiction for these busy times.

ANAL
I bent her over so that she stooped
‘Cause she wanted to get fucked where she pooped
So in went the cock
Until she was blocked
And I emptied my load with a whoop

BDSM
‘Ouch’ said the submissive young Gail
You pinched my tits with your nails
‘Yeah, no shit’
Said the man as he hit
‘That’s the fucking point of this tale’

CELEBRITIES
I’d seen all her movies and shows
And now wished to see how she blows
So after some stalking
I got her talking
And jacked off as she took off her clothes

CHAIN STORIES
He fucked me so hard, wrote Carruthers
And then he started fucking my mother
And then a hot chick
Who had, um, a dick
‘Is it my turn to write soon?’, said another

EROTIC COUPLINGS
Quite simple is this category
No need for complex allegory
If you got a man
And a woman on hand
Make them fuck and suck in a story

EROTIC HORROR
Sneak up on the girl fraught with worry
A good way to start such a story
Then you shout ‘Boo!’
Which makes her go poo
And then you fuck her until it gets gory

EXHIBITIONIST & VOYEUR
Who’s that at the window I saw?
‘Dunno, but there’s a man at the door’
Oh, nevermind
Just fuck her blind
But just make sure that the camera records

FETISH
It turns me on to sniff underwear
After they’ve been worn down there
And my panty-clad meat
Gets jacked off by feet
While I recline in my leather armchair

FIRST TIME
‘It’s so big’, she said with a grunt
‘Go easy on my tender cunt’
He went slidin’
Right through her hymen
And her orgasms were rather frequent

GAY MALE
Put your big dick in my butt
The locker room’s empty, you slut
Then I’ll have go
In your hairy hole
Whether you like it or not

GROUP SEX
Three dicks, two cunts and five bums
Are sexy mathematical sums
Time to get busy
Until you’re dizzy
And lose track of how often you’ve cum

HOW TO
I’m really am more clever than you
And will now grace you with another ‘How to’
Although it’s a fact
That I sorely lack
A respectable triple-digit IQ

HUMOR & SATIRE
Giggle, ha ha, and tee-hee
Laughing until you go pee
Having a great time
With sexy limericks that rhyme
And clapping your hands in pure glee

ILLUSTRATED
Oh, crap I’m so bad when I write
So instead I think I just might
Adjust hue and crop
With Photoshop
And add pictures to this literary website

INCEST/TABOO
I loved my dad from day one
So he fucked me instead of my mum
My brother watched
While he rubbed his crotch
And in my mouth my grandpa did cum

INTERRACIAL LOVE
The man fucked the girl from Beijing
Until his black cock made her sing
And then the white chick
With his big dick
Until her tight cunt was soaking

LESBIAN SEX
The butch chick from Paris, she asked
Will that strap-on fit in my ass?
Let’s give it a whirl
Said the other girl
But does my ass look big in these pants?

LETTERS & TRANSCRIPTS
Dear woman I made up in my head
Why am I writing to you instead
Of finding a wife
And getting a life
Before it’s too late and I’m dead?

LOVING WIVES
It was Bob’s birthday today
And his wife, Anna, did say
I love you a lot
So here’s the plot
Today you’ll fuck me and the maid.

MATURE
Nevermind that he was so old
That pretty soon he would be stone-cold
I was so keen
At the age of eighteen
To fuck him and get my career bankrolled

MIND CONTROL
The nerd now had secret powers
That he used to lure girls into showers
Where they undressed
Without duress
To fuck him and suck him for hours

NON-ENGLISH
I fancied the tall man from Spain
But didn’t have a clue what he was saying
But when he put his shooter
In this horny puta
I screamed in ecstasy all the same

NON-EROTIC
The river’s so lovely at dawn
Let us stroll hand in hand on the lawn
Yup, that’s about it
You silly dimwit
How dare you sit there and yawn?!

NONCONSENT/RELUCTANCE
‘No way’, she said in a firm voice
I won’t give my body to you boys
Laughter rang
Throughout the gang
‘Lady, you don’t have a choice!’

NONHUMAN
He set my wet loins on fire
Even though he died ten years prior
And now roamed
My haunted home
Fucking me until I perspired

NOVELS AND NOVELLAS
We begin in 18th century Devon
(If you’ve got time on your hands this is heaven)
We start out slow
Just so you know
And before long you’re on page eleven

REVIEWS & ESSAYS
Here’s a list of stories I adore
Oh, and some movies and more
Why should you care
Sitting out there
‘Cause my opinions make me look like a bore

ROMANCE
Mmm, I can smell your perfume
Throughout this candlelit room
Let’s talk a lot
But don’t get too hot
Because I want to go look at the moon

SCI-FI & FANTASY
The spaceship unfortunately crashed
On an unfriendly planet, alas
But not to worry
For in a flurry
Large-penised aliens fucked my ass

TEXT WITH AUDIO
I wish so much to harass
With audio stories en masse
Because like the fart
Who adds the art
I can’t spell to save my ass

TOYS & MASTURBATION
This girl would surely cross an ocean
To find the very best green-grocers
With big cucumbers
In great numbers
To put up her cunt with much motion

TRANSSEXUALS & CROSSDRESSERS
Where on earth did you buy that dress?
Asked the large-muscled man from out west
It matches my shoes
And my penis, too
Which now appears to be quite erect

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byCoolville© 8 comments/ 24523 views/ 7 favorites

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