Getting Help Ch. 01

I nervously sat in the waiting room for my 1:00 p.m. appointment with the therapist/psychologist. I found her through online searches, as I guess we do all things nowadays, where her credentials and location were most important to me. She received her various degrees from decent universities and chose to open up her practice in an area just far enough away from where I live so that I hopefully would not be recognized. Her website profile had the typical information along with her picture. She reminded me of the woman you see in movies that nobody realizes is pretty until she is given a makeover, but in reality what made her allegedly ugly was a pair of dorky glasses prior to the makeover.

"Mr. Thompson Ms. LaFleur will see you now" said the rather cute assistant promptly at 1:00 p.m. I smiled at the assistant and stood up to follow her. As I walked down the short hallway I thought to myself about how I am finally going to see a professional about my little fetish. I honestly had been wanting to do this for a very long time, but now being in my late 20s, I thought it was finally time to get some answers.

The assistant opened the door to what looked like the therapy room, and gestured to the couch and stated, "Please have a seat on the couch and try to relax a bit." I am not sure why I needed to relax a bit, but I am guessing she knew this was my first time meeting with a professional due to me filling out the intake form.

I sat on the surprisingly comfortable suede couch and looked around at my new surroundings. Degrees and calming painting hung on the walls, where everything really looked exactly as I pictured a psychologist's office to look. I looked at the clock and thought about how other doctors make you wait again after finally getting into the actual patient room. I assumed here would be no different. So as I waited, my mind began to wander. Being new to this, I had no idea how things worked. Do I just jump right in to the core of what I need answers to or does she try to go deeper than that? I honestly have no clue.

I then began to think about what I was actually going to tell her. Would she think I am weird if I told her everything? I mean, everything? I then started to try to come up with a basic story, with a few things changed to make me seem less weird. What if I told her that an ex-girlfriend convinced me to wear some of her clothes and my fetish just grew stronger after that? That might make me seem less weird, right? She would think I would be straight too, I thought, and not think I have these dark inner desires of slipping on panties, stockings, and other lingerie, letting go of control to a dominant man while dressed like a sissy slut.

As my mind wandered into that dark place, I failed to notice two things. First, Ms. LaFleur had entered the room. Second, my cock had hardened to a noticeable extent under my pants. Not the greatest way to make a first impression. Fortunately, Ms. LaFleur entered through the back door of the office and I was sitting away from her. I maneuvered in such a way to make my excitement not really noticeable unless you were actually looking for it. However, this only made the introduction awkward and not very gentlemanly, since I stayed sitting on the couch when I said hello.

"Hello Taylor," she said in a somewhat stern but feminine voice. "My name is Kelly LaFleur. It is nice to meet you. So, your in-take form basically mentioned very little. Please rest assured, this is actually very common. Often times when people put nothing down on the in-take form it relates to something sexual and it is hard to write. Most people in visiting me are very nervous. I understand this entirely. Many people have things they would like to talk about with someone other than friends, significant others, or family. I am here to help you with that and I am very good at what I do."

I did not immediately feel completely at ease, but I did feel rather comfortable. She was wearing the dorky psychologist glasses just like in her picture, but she definitely was an attractive older woman, with dark hair and very nice features.

"So, Taylor, before we talk about you a little bit, what would you like to know about me?"

I could not think of anything. I researched her online a lot, so I knew everything I thought I needed to know. "Um... I'm not sure what to ask. I'm new, so I do not know how things work here, Ms. LaFleur."

"Taylor," she said, "First, you can call me Kelly. Second, just relax and be yourself. You are in a safe environment and can get used to talking to me now and into the future."

I smiled and then asked her about why she chose her career path and other general small talk. She mentioned that she liked to swim, so we talked about that for awhile since I like to as well. I sarcastically joked about the joys of having to shave for swim meets. She laughed and joked back that she hoped I got good at it, because most men would hack themselves up a bit in the process. We went back and forth, and I really started enjoying our conversation a bit, but then the conversation transitioned rather quickly it seemed.

"So, are you here in regard to something sexual, Taylor? Do you have a fetish that you want to know more about?" I froze a bit, but it seemed to be alright since I'm not sure she wanted me to answer. She then asked me if I was straight, gay or bisexual, or jokingly, asked if I was not into anyone. I stumbled a bit on what should have been a quick answer of I'm straight, by stating, "Um..., well I'm, uh, straight." As I answered her left eyebrow cocked a bit, which worried me.

"Well, Taylor, I have lots of straight clients. Many straight clients. Also many bisexual clients, mostly closeted bisexuals clients, but bisexual nonetheless. And, of course, gay clients as well, both out and closeted." Her statements made me nervous, like she was an animal seeing her prey. I wanted to answer truthfully, to get the most out of my session, but I am such a sissy, both literally and figuratively. Well, I mean I am straight, I really believe that 100%, I just have these urges, I though.

"So, tell me about some of your girlfriends, Taylor," she asked. I told her about many of my past girlfriends and how they were all over the board in regard to personality, humor, attractiveness, etc. I then mentioned that those relationships never ended well for me, where I would be the one who seemed to be dumped in the end for whatever the reason. As I ended my discussion of my past girlfriend adventures, she then asked me point blank, "How about men, Taylor? Have you ever been with a man? Sexually?"

"No." I responded in my most confident way. It was true, for the most part. There was that one time though, that my sissy urges got the best of me. I then started thinking about that one time. I was messing around and drinking a bit, probably more than I should have, which lead to me dressing up feminine attire such as panties, bras, lingerie, stockings, and more. Usually I would just go online and look at naughty sissy videos on xTube and masterbate. I did that this time as well, but I wanted more, so I decided to go to an adult bookstore. I didn't want to change, so I just wore the slutty lingerie under my regular boy clothes. When I got to the adult bookstore, I went into a private booth after looking at the sex toys, lingerie, and adult literature and DVDs. I really blame me going this far on the alcohol, I think, but who knows. While inside the booth, I stripped off my boy clothes and started to rub my panties as I watched the pornography on the screen in front of me. My cock got hard immediately, as I dreamed of being the slutty woman in the porno getting fucked hard by the stud. As I was rubbing my pink satin panties, I noticed someone peeking through the hole in between our two booths. It turned me on so much more, so I kind of acted like a little slutty sissy tease and turned my chair to show that I was being a naught little sissy. It felt so good. It felt so feminine and felt so right. It didn't take long for him to stick his cock through the hole. It also didn't take long for me to place his cock in my hand, which was the first time I had ever held a man's cock. I was dressed as a girl, so I was just acted like one, I thought. It was hard and I felt it throbbing. I then felt this urge to...

I had then realized my mind had wandered off again and I had been quiet for about a minute after she asked me if I had ever been with a man sexually and she could tell I was thinking about something. "You know, Taylor, I bet men are attracted to you. You are a slim and attractive male. I bet they would desire you sexually, regardless of whether you are into them. It is too bad for them though, but the women must be alright it. Although, with your slim and shaved body, those women might get a little bit jealous... maybe it is why they dumped you."

With that last comment, I turned bright red blushing and could not hide my smile. "Aw, sorry Taylor, I did not mean to embarrass or tease you at all. I'm just trying to lighten the discussion of sex, which is often very difficult for most. I think you can take it."

"No, sorry, my fault. I need to open up a bit more, Ms. LaFl... err, Kelly. I can take it, yes."

"Good." She smiled. "And yes, you do need to relax and open up a bit."

She then got serious for a moment and really took control. "Taylor, I can tell you have something you need to tell me. I can tell by the way you are sitting and how uncomfortable you get by my recent line of questioning and comments. I am here to help you, Taylor, however long it takes."

"Thank you, Kelly."

"However, we are unfortunately out of time for this session."

I looked up at the clock and couldn't believe it. That was the fasted hour or so in my life. I was both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

"Now Taylor, although this session is over, I think it was rather productive, whether you realize it or not. You have opened up a little bit with me and you are getting comfortable with sometimes difficult topics. I think in our next session, you will really open up and we will make even more progress. Don't you think so, Taylor?"

"Yes, mam."

"Good. Taylor. That is good. You are doing very well already." She cocked her eyebrow once again when she said this, which confused me a little, but I passed it off as just her general expressions.

"Until we meet for our next appointment, I will have to give you a homework assignment."

"Homework?"

"Yes, Taylor, just like school, you'll have an assignment. But I think you will find this assignment to be kind of fun, along with the many subsequent assignments. Your first assignment is to go home and relax however you relax. When you are relaxed, you will send me an email. In this email you will do your best in telling me anything that you would like to tell me, that you were unable to tell me here today. You see, I am well aware that sometimes people are nervous and they feel they did not have the opportunity to ease into the discussion they wanted. In the 21st century we live in now, we have the advantage of continuing our session in a way by opening up the channels of communication on a 24/7 basis. The email can be short or long, it is up to you. While I may not respond right away or at all until we meet again in person, please rest assured your email will be reviewed with care."

"That does not sound too bad, Kelly. Thank you. I really appreciate this." She then handed me her business card, which, of course, had her contact information including her email address. I looked it over carefully as she stepped closer and somewhat sternly said, "Again, just do your best on the assignment. I really look forward to our next appointment, Taylor."

We exchanged smiles and I exited her office. As I was leaving, the assistant who I met before smirked and wished me luck. I smiled and left the building, excited to be moving forward with getting help. Little did I know what I was getting myself into.