tagHow ToGetting Her In Bed

Getting Her In Bed

byGoldeniangel©

This is for men who are actually in a relationship with a woman. I have no idea how you might go about getting a woman who's at a club in bed with you, but if you are so lucky as to take her home and start a relationship with her, then this might be a good essay for you to read.

I want to dispel some of the notions that I've found men have about getting their girlfriends/fiances/wives into bed.

I want to start with some DON'Ts.

1. Beg and/or whine. THIS IS NOT SEXY. We are with you because we want to be with a man, not a four year old child. DO NOT DO THIS. It will not work. If it does work, you have an extremely patient partner who is just doing it to get you off her back - and if she orgasms, she's faking it. Stop being a baby, you'll get sex a lot more often.

2. Act like a kid in a candy store. While this can be cute and endearing at first, the contrast of you to a kid in a candy store can make us feel a bit like pedophiles. Smile yes, huge goofy grin... not sexy.

3. Try the same ploy over and over and expect it to work. We like spontaneity too, you gotta work for it buster.

4. Interrupt us from something important. Ok, sometimes "no" does mean "yes", but NOT when we're in the middle of writing a report that's due tomorrow. While being interrupted from something because we're just too sexy is flattering, don't make the mistake of interrupted something that should NOT be interrupted.

Those are just some of the basics. Now let's get into what DOES work (although I will grant you, it probably will not work every time).

We want to be wooed guys. And by that I don't mean bring us flowers and chocolate and then EXPECT sex. Uh huh. That is sooooo transparent and again, not sex. We don't want you to expect anything of the sort from us... however if you bring us flowers and chocolate and make absolutely no move towards us... well, that we tend to find UNBEARABLY sexy. Do it because you love us and we'll think you're a god... do it for sex and we're going to find you a wee bit pathetic.

Now, chocolate and flowers are not the only way to woo a girl. Do things that are unexpected... cook dinner for us when you've never cooked before. Have us come home to a clean house. Surprise us by laying out our best dress (or even better, buying us a new one that "you" chose - ie. You should probably take on of our friends) and taking us out to our favorite restaurant. Rent a chick flick and insist on watching it with us and some popcorn.

All in all, surprise us. DON'T think of sex, don't think of it at ALL. Don't put the moves on us. Cuddle, kiss... and if we respond then maybe THINK about putting the moves on us.

One of the things that I find absolutely irresistible is when my guy does something spontaneous and sweet and then walks away from me. I absolutely HAVE to jump him about 95% of the time. What ploys of yours work 95% of the time?

Something women find almost irresistible is when a man shows a little mystery. When you do something amazing for us, or make us feel special and expect nothing in return, we want to know why. Why are you not trying to get into our pants? Why are you not expecting us to sleep with you tonight? Why? Why? Why? Which will probably lead to her trying to seduce YOU rather than the other way around.

Tease us, toy with us. Bring us a rose at work, bring home our favorite dessert. Clean our car as a surprise. Most of all, don't make a big deal about it. Don't parade it around saying "See? How great am I!"

Now, I don't recommend constantly using cleaning and cooking, because after awhile she will start to expect those things rather than seeing them as a treat. But there are a MILLION things you could do.

What's her favorite romantic movie? Rent it and watch it with her.

Take her out dancing, there is only one thing more sexy than a guy who knows how to dance. If you DON'T know how to, take her out to dance classes with you. A guy learning how to dance is the only thing sexier than a guy who already know how to dance.

Compliment her. Notice when she's bought something new that looks fantastic on her. See something in a store that you think she'd love and just would have to have. BETTER, LISTEN to the subtle hints when she gushes "Oh! Look at that necklace! It's so beautiful!" When she insists that she doesn't need it, just say ok. Return a day later and buy it to surprise her with it. Buying it in front of her can be fun, but it's so much nicer when she thinks that you didn't pick up on her hint and then you shock her by showing that you did. We like the shock. And the fact that you listened and remembered.

One of the best ploys by my fiancé was for my birthday. We went to an incredible restaurant and then to see "Phantom of the Opera" (I'm HUGE into theatre which he is NOT). When we got back he'd had my friends set up our bedroom with these amazingly soft 400-count sheets, rose petals everywhere and he went around and lit the multitudes of candles before letting me into the room. We got into a bubble bath where he washed my hair and we just relaxed for at least an hour. Afterwards I lay down on soft sheets and rose petals while he gave me a full body massage. Now, he did not get sex that night, but we spent all the rest of the next day in the bedroom.

Patience, patience and more patience. You're on the hunt, but you have to draw the prey to you.

This is part one, I'll be continuing soon with part two.

I hope these essays help =)

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by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Sam3701/08/14

An interesting guide

That reveals how women really are.

Thanks for your honesty. I couldn't help but notice the number of inconsistencies in the female mind illustrated in your examples.

FTR, I am a romantic at heart. more...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous10/15/13

Thanks but no thanks

This guide was a sad but predictable read. You should rename it 'How to please Miss Entitled Princess with your very own Circus'

The irony is that if you did find a guy who would do all of these things,more...

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by Anonymous08/17/13

@Anonymous 5/13/13

You said "what do you do?
So what is the wife or girlfriend supposed to do to make herself worth all this effort? This is what I am dealing with."

This has nothing to do with *this* conversation,more...

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