He isn't there anymore.
Sometimes I'm not sure if he ever existed or was a creation of my over wild imagination that wanted something special, something unique. Sometimes I wonder of I dream about him long enough, think about him often enough, he would become back. And yet at other times I hope that he never returns so that moment we shared would be kept special. Half way up this two hundred block stretch of dirt road is a fork, where the left side goes to another town and the other side goes to a cemetery.
This was his ground.
This is where I saw him and saw him no place else. He always was on the outbound side going away from the bright city lights with their glittering dreams of whatever they may be. The older part of the cemetery with its large marvelous headstones and crypts was on the outbound side. He stood almost motionless on the side of the road as if he was waiting for a bus or a ride that never came. I don't know how long he was there before I noticed him. It couldn't have been long.
It is hard to miss a man with shoulder length dirty blond hair and white face that glowed always wearing a long black trench coat billowing in the wind, black pants and a black shirt standing on the edge of a highway. I'm not even sure how many times I passed this man with my interest growing each day till one night I pulled into the parking lot of the mausoleum, parking my car behind bushes.
I got out and walked to him. The whole time I felt he was watching me and yet not watching me a paradox unto itself. When I reached him and looked into his eyes I shuddered and knew I had to have him. His eyes was the purest blue I ever seen. They weren't empty nor full, they weren't warm nor cold, they were simply nothing, as if they were there just to be there. I have spent many hours thinking of a better way to describe them but the only words I could see.
We stared at each other for long time oblivious to the traffic rushing by us. If he was a ghost and only I could have seen him I must have been a lunatic gazing so stupidly out into space along the side of the highway and the cemetery as if I was caught between two worlds. He held up a small porcelain hand showing me a small silver band with a small heart shaped gem set into it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out two largest bills I had. He barely looked at the bills and gave a faint nod. he took my free hand in his and led me into the cemetery. I was hypnotized by him at this point so I could not say any of my senses were working correctly but the skin of him hand felt so smooth.
I did feel any of the usual lines or creases of his hand. He led me deep into the cemetery until the road had faded except for the stream of lights and an occasional diesel engine rumbling by. Beyond those it was so still and so dark that everything appeared to glow in it's own aura, especially him. He came to a stop and listened for a moment. I'm not quite sure what he was listening for but finally, as if he had received some sort of sign, he turned with a effortlessly graceful motionless spin to me. He pressed himself up against me and though I felt his form against me, and yet I felt very little weight.
He kissed me fully on the lips and I felt the heat of him surge into me. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I felt myself open up to him. He eased me back as if I was gradually stepping back with no force being applied. In the matter of moments I felt myself leaning against the back of a smooth tombstone monument. I felt him every part against me. he kissed me fully, entirely and then slowly inched down my lips, sucking on the lower one before going down to my chin, down the center of my neck, resting at the hollow between my clavicles.
Until his descent to me, his eyes had hypnotized me by focusing on mine blanking all other sensations beyond his lips, his tongue, and his penetrating gaze. I had not realized he had unbuttoned my blouse and pulled my bra underneath my breasts. With his pointed tongue serving as an artist's brush against the canvas of my skin he made figure eights around the base of my breasts and with agonizing slowness made the assent of my breasts making them perk up, the nipples becoming hard and pointed like cherries on top of a chocolate drizzled sundae. My back arched wanting him to take all of my breast in his mouth. But he refused. He took his own sweet time. His hands gently and slowly caressed down my naked sides tickling me, him finger swam to my belly button bringing me into laughter and breaking the overwhelming seriousness of the moment. A hand slipped into my pants, past my panties and went between my legs.
He felt my shaved pubic mound that was slick with wetness. One finger slipped into me easily and set me on fire, suddenly a second one entered, no sooner then they entered they began to dance together inside me. My body rubbed against the cold headstone as my head slams in against it in aching desire. His other hand undoes my pants and one climatic thrust pulls them and my panties down.
A brief wondering thought of if death is as icy cold as the headstone is. I answer my own thought thinking both it can't be and it makes the perfect balance to all the heated emotions life brings. He was on his knees. His hands on my rounded hips. His eyes staring at my pubic mound that glittered with my juices in the full moonlight. His tongue perfectly traced my engorged lower lips. My whole body was bucking against his face. I needed him inside me. I didn't care what part of him entered me as long he entered me. His tongue entered me with one full thrust. The wet sandpaper texture, almost like a cat's tongue, of his tongue reached into me farther than I believed any tongue could reach. I screamed at the suddenness of the entry, the deepness of the entry. He drank from my heated core and I felt myself pour into him. He released me into the stars with an explosion of warmth, and pleasure. He released me into the heavens. My whole body shook.
The shaking went on for a long time but slowly I came back to earth and my body slowed down but the warmth remained.
I suddenly shook my head trying to push back the daze I was in and realized I was in my car and barely made the turn onto my block.