tagHumor & SatireGo Cocks Go!

Go Cocks Go!

byItchy Ivy©

Splat. "Take that you motherfucker!" Splat. "Another male chauvinist bites the dust."

I had taken to whacking the crickets that invaded our sorority house with an oar. A Hookmaster two and a half-foot long weapon that is very light and comes in handy quite often.

That oar has never been in a boat. Not only is it great for smacking bugs, mice or whatever, it is perfect for spanking. My personal preference is for a bare hand on my ass, with or without panties, but some dudes like it harder.

Crickets make so damn much noise when they get in the house you can't even sleep. "Chirp, chirp, chirp." And it's the male crickets that make the racket; some sort of love song directed at the object of their affection. These horny crickets really pissed me off.

The big black ants didn’t seem particularly annoying, except when they happen to crawl on your body at night. Talk about antsy and itchy! I’d end up scratching all night. Somewhat psychosomatic I do believe.

And those fucking cockroaches! They’re everywhere, they’re everywhere. “Go cockroaches go!” the sisters screamed as we chased them around the sorority house, trying to end their sorry existence. We called the exterminator several times but all the bugs kept coming back.

Not bad enough that we sorority sisters of Delta Zeta spent some part of every day fighting off some invading insect, now we learned we might have to party with cockroaches and the rest of the pests.

“At least these cockroaches won’t be crawling all over us,” I joked to my sorority sisters. We heard the rumors that these human cockroaches liked dick better than they did pussy.

Yes indeed, the fraternity brothers of Alpha Tau Omega got to plan this month’s fraternity/sorority beer blast at our university, famous for cheerleaders chanting, “Go cocks go!” I’m serious. I mean, all the fraternity brothers wear those stupid hats around campus that say “COCKS” in bold red with the name of the university underneath.

For each monthly bash, that fraternity or sorority charged with planning the event must create an original theme for the occasion. Now, we don’t know if the boys of Alpha Tau Omega had been smoking too much dope or perhaps watching too many movies like “The Fly” and “A Bug’s Life.”

The theme for the bash, “Buggering,” seemed quite appealing to some, until specifics became public. Each fraternity and sorority chose a type of bug to be. You know, a really weird costume party, like imitate an insect.

Of the fraternities, Alpha Phi Alpha came as wasps, Delta Upsilon as ants, Kappa Alpha Psi as grasshoppers, Kappa Sigma as flies, Omega Psi Phi as moths and Sigma Alpha Epsilon as beetles. Of the sororities, Alpha Chi Omega came as damselflies, Chi Omega as bees, Kappa Alpha Theta as lacewings, Kappa Kappa Gamma as butterflies, and Sigma Gamma Rho as mites. Honestly, some of the other fraternities and sororities, I couldn’t tell what the hell they might be. A bug is a bug is a bug. We, the sisters of Delta Zeta, got real wild and crazy with our colorful dragonfly outfits. The hosts of the bash, Alpha Tau Omega, won the costume contest. And just what is so wonderful about cockroaches? I smelled fix.

Alpha Tau Omega, our least favorite fraternity, became even more repulsive as cockroaches. I mean, these guys reeked geek and most of them made a three-dollar bill look straight. Herbie, the president, attempted to amuse us with cockroach talk.

“Cockroach kidneys look like a bunch of writhing snakes,” informed Herbie.

“How interesting,” Janine scowled.

“Cockroaches recognize family and friends by their distinctive odors,” continued Herbie.

“Fascinating,” Maryanne yawned.

“Well, how about this?” Herbie asked excitedly. “When a male cockroach is interested in a female, he gives her a wrapped gift and takes her out to dinner, sort of. Males transfer sperm to females in a nice gift wrapped package called a spermatophore.”

“Hey,” Sally interrupted, “that reminds me of your frat brothers Andrew and George. The way I heard it, Andrew came back to the house after his classes to change for work. George sat on the couch jerking off in a rubber. Andrew asked, ‘What are you doing?’ George replied, ‘Packing your lunch.’ Is that story true, Herbie?”

Herbie’s face turned five shades of red. “Well, you know, the Creed of Alpha Tau Omega states, ‘To bind men together in a brotherhood based upon eternal and immutable principles, with a bond as strong as right itself and as lasting as …’”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Herbie!” I snapped. “No one intended that as some sort of gay bill of rights. We don’t care if you dudes are fruits. We do care that you are such assholes.” Herbie got even redder and stomped off upstairs in a hissy fit.

“You know, Ivy,” Maryanne offered with consternation, “you and Sally really are nasty to Herbie and his frat brothers. I keep hearing rumors on campus that they one day will seek revenge on the sisters of Delta Zeta, particularly you two."

“Yeah, right, Maryanne,” I snarled, “those dudes are useless mindless twits. They are more irritating and obnoxious than all the fucking bugs in our sorority house combined.”

“No shit, Ivy,” Sally agreed. “Let’s sneak upstairs and see what they are up to. I’ll bet they are having a circle jerk or some such thing. Those dudes would faint at the sight of pussy.”

Sally, Janine, Maryanne and I crept silently up the stairs.

We looked in all the bedrooms. The cockroaches of Alpha Tau Omega seemed to have just up and vanished. Sally suggested we try the attic. We had to climb a ladder to get there so one by one up we went. The darkness kept us from seeing much but the high ceiling permitted us to stand with plenty of room to spare.

“Ivy, I’m getting scared,” Maryanne shivered. “This is creepy.”

All of a sudden the lights blasted on. Herbie and his frat brothers grabbed us and ripped off our dragonfly costumes, but not with lust. It appeared their motivation might be something else entirely.

Sally and I, both totally naked, soon found ourselves restrained on inflatable bondage beds with tie-up strings placed in strategic places. Herbie and friends bound our hands over our heads. Attached to the beds a rope and pulley also attached to the wall permitted the beds to be raised from a reclining to vertical position, or anywhere in between. Maryanne and Janine, stripped to their panties and bras, were restrained merely with handcuffs behind their heads. They trembled in fear.

The brothers of Alpha Tau Omega feasted their eyes upon our voluptuous young bodies, but not with sex on their minds, at least not with us. We only saw scheming and dollar signs. They looked greedy not horny.

“What’s up with that carton you have in your hand, Herbie?” Sally stammered, afraid to ask, but too scared and curious not to.

Herbie, with a fanatical gleam in his eyes, replied, “Your favorites, my dear.”

The lead cockroach dumped the box of cockroaches on Sally’s quivering nude body. Cockroaches ate her nervous sweat as they crawled all over her. Some seemed rather fond of her pussy and seemed to enjoy the flavor as they hovered in her pubic hair.

Herbie began to lecture as the cockroaches played and Sally screamed and cried in terror. “You may have heard I am studying to be a forensic entomologist. That’s the guy who uses insect knowledge in the investigation of crimes, particularly murder. For example, when a corpse is crawling with maggots, an entomologist easily can estimate the time of death. Forensic entomology can be used to determine whether the corpse has been moved and the cause of death.”

Pausing momentarily, Herbie, asked, “Have you had enough, Sally? Will you do whatever I say?”

“Yes! Please, please, take them off me!”

“Gather up the little buggers,” Herbie ordered George and Andrew.

Herbie continued his lecture. “Many of the rare insects and invertebrates such as centipedes, millipedes, scorpions and tropical cockroaches we get from Everglades Erotica. I need a constant supply on which to perform my experiments. Of course, we can also obtain from them your typical cockroaches like those that just amused Sally, crickets, ants and anything else. That’s where all the bugs come from that have invaded your sorority house.”

“Guess who is next?” Herbie asked satanically as George handed him another larger carton. “These are very special; giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches, also known as Gromphadorhina Portentosa.”

Herbie dumped the monster cockroaches on my thrashing naked body.

I never cried out which I’m sure disappointed Herbie greatly although I did squirm vigorously in an attempt to shake off the monster cockroaches.

“Oh my goodness,” Herbie giggled, “Is Ivy itchy? Too bad you can’t scratch or brush my friends off.”

Finally I whispered, “OK, Herbie, you win, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good girls! Now what about you, Maryanne and Janine? Are you going to do whatever I say, or do you want the same treatment these two nasty bitches got?”

Maryanne and Janine couldn’t even speak. They just nodded in somber agreement.

“OK, here’s the plan,” Herbie explained, “we need to raise some additional funds for the construction of our new frat house. You girls are going to help us make some money. We advertised this bash, at least to the other fraternities, as not only beer, but also blowjobs, for $50 a pop. Hey, these guys all come from wealthy families, they can afford it. We hear you girls usually put out for free, so what’s the difference?

“Now,” Herbie continued, “what we have over there is booths like you can find in adult book stores with holes in the walls for guys to stick their dicks through. We are taking Maryanne and Janine back there. Sure, they’ll be blowing a few guys, but the boys of Alpha Tau Omega will be doing most of the cocksucking. Quite the plan, eh? These studmuffins will think some hot babe is swallowing their load. Now, you, Ivy and Sally, will be subject to whatever sexual whim these guys might have. Not to worry, I have brought plenty of lube. No doubt you will be taking it up the ass on occasion. Of course, we are charging a little more for a frat rat having his way with you, $100 per head, no pun intended.”

The brothers from other fraternities climbed up the stairs to the attic in groups of four. Some removed their grasshopper, beetle and fly costumes and some didn’t. Mostly those who came just for a quick blowjob didn’t bother; they just got their dick out the quickest way possible.

I even had to laugh once, at the president of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, the one nicknamed Spike. His fraternity consisted mostly of the jock types, oozing with testosterone.

“I can fuck any chick on campus,” Spike bragged. “They just lay down, spread their legs and beg when they see me coming. But I’ll tell you what, Herbie, I’ll help out another frat head honcho and take one of those $50 blowjobs. But I want to know who is sucking on my dick. Bring the bitch out and let me get a look at her.”

Herbie dragged Maryanne out from the booth’s rear exit by the hair.

“Hey, I seen her around campus. Hot stuff. Let me see her tits.”

Herbie unsnapped Maryanne’s bra, exposing her impressive breasts.

“Great hooters!” Spike exclaimed eagerly. He removed his huge cock from his beetle costume and began to rub it on Maryanne’s breasts and lips. I could see Herbie getting excited as evidence by the bulge in his cockroach outfit.

“You got to stick your dick through the hole in the booth, Spike,” Herbie insisted. “Those are the rules. I’ll take the bitch back to the other side.”

“Yeah, OK,” Spike growled.

Ten minutes later Spike thrashed against the wall of the booth, screaming “Suck my cock harder and faster, you fucking whore! Oh man, I’m gonna shoot my fucking load right down your throat. You swallow it all baby, I don’t want my cock even coming out of your mouth.”

Spike’s right hand man Bud also had his dick in a hole, assuming that Janine ministered to him. They both pounded on the wall with their fists and screamed “Go cocks go!” as did two of their fraternity brothers who watched.

As Spike obviously climaxed, he said over and over, “That’s my gift to you baby, that’s my gift to you.” He pulled his cock out of the hole and inspected it. “Good job, honey, looks like you got every fucking drop.”

Herbie walked out from behind the booth where Maryanne had been and held out his hand. “My $50, Spike.” Spike and friends did not appear to notice the cum that still ran down Herbie’s chin ever so slightly.

“Fuck you, you stupid-ass twerp,” Spike spat sarcastically, “I don’t pay for it.” With that Spike and friends made their way down the ladder and back to the party.

I can’t even remember how many guys had me that night. Most of them came quickly, whether in my pussy or in my mouth. Only one tried anal and he felt rather small and thin. I’ve had dildos and butt plugs that made more of an impression. I just blotted it all out except for one, the only one who made me cum.

He even told me his name. Randy’s pleasure, cunnilingus, became mine. Never have I encountered a dude so enthusiastic about eating pussy, and he proved to be quite the expert. He knew all the moves.

Randy took his time and teased and tantalized. He started with my inner thighs, just above the knees, alternately from one to the other. His hands played with my nipples and his long hair and beard and moustache tickled as much as his tongue.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on how much I enjoyed what he did, so much different than the others, who just got themselves off. I knew he soon would head for my pussy, but he seemed to be taking so long. I felt like screaming, “Eat me!”

After what seemed like an eternity, Randy began to give me a few little licks just where I wanted him to most. His tongue seemed very soft and gentle.

“Oh my, and aren’t we getting more than just a little wet here?” Randy joked as he came up for air. “I don’t think I’ll be needing these,” he said as he pulled from his pocket a handful of small samplers of Vagisal Intimate Moisturizer and other lubricants. He put them away and plunged his face back into my very moist triangle.

Randy separated my wet lips with his fingers and spread me wide open. First he licked under my clitoris and inner labia and occasionally swirled my clit in his mouth. Then he alternated between slow flat licks with his tongue and sucking gently with his lips.

Soon I squirmed with pleasure. Finally I lost it as Randy licked my essence with harder and more demanding strokes. Thrusting my hips upward in excitement, I exploded in a powerful climax I felt from my head to the tips of my toes.

“Yes! Yes!” I cried as I squirted all over Randy’s face. He continued to lick me gently as I came down from the most incredible orgasm I ever and he could feel my entire body shuddering right through my clitoris which he still held in his lips.

“Please stop, please! No more. Not right now.” I pleaded.

“Whatever you say, my lovely,” Randy cooed as he wiped the juice from his beard and moustache.

“I’ll give you the $50 to pay that motherfucker, Herbie,” I joked, “and I owe you a blowjob.”

“Indeed you do, my lovely, and I’ll take a rain check on that.” A week later I made good on my debt. Finally Herbie and friends released us after collecting what must have been several thousand dollars. We never spoke of the events of that evening. No, we put some of the details in an anonymous e-mail and sent it to everyone on campus who had an e-mail address.

Two weeks later Herbie disappeared. The police apparently have no clues. One rumor is that Spike somehow found out a guy sucked his dick that night and went nuts. Perhaps one day soon Herbie’s maggot-invested body will be found in the woods near campus and a forensic entomologist can figure out whodunnit.

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