Going Nowhere Fast

CHAPTER 1

The bitch, thought Freddie Johns. The young woman he'd banged overnight was no longer beside him. He felt the sheets and they were cold but then she'd been cold. She wasn't in the bathroom and he checked his pants thrown on the floor and sighed.

His wallet had gone.

God what's the chances of connecting to a woman these days that you could perhaps like? All the good ones were married and those who couldn't land a guy were just out to screw guys.

He grinned, thinking of Carol's face when she found out she'd run off with his dummy wallet. She would have got clear of his rented trailer home and checked the wallet for her haul but would have only found two bucks and a condom. Spitting mad at such a big disappointment, she would have cursed and shouted where all the good male lays were these days stupid enough to leave their well-filled wallet ready for the taking?

His real wallet was hidden in his pickup and the key to the vehicle was under the inner sole of his left shoe.

Freddie showered hoping the use of a condom had once again save him from unsavory contamination of his prized extension, or the lower extension of the male brain as some babes referred to it.

He packed his bag that took all of 90 seconds, had breakfast and waited for the rental lady to appear. If everything checked out okay she'd refund him the $150 bond that had been required to cover minor damage or missing items.

Half an hour later the woman arrived and after her inspection sniffed, "You kept the place clean. Your mom taught you something and nothing's missing. Here's your bond refund."

Freddie decided to wind her up. "Are you interested in returning inside with me and going a round or two?"

"Sonny boy I eat guys like you. On your way."

Freddie grinned and slapped her butt and she giggled. He knew he only had to ask her again and there was a 40-60 chance on a good day she'd lower her panties for him. But she was old, at least forty.

He climbed into his vehicle and leaned out the window and called, "Have a nice day."

"Gawd your mom taught you to be polite to ladies as well."

Women with humor and prepared to hurl banter appealed to Freddie. But the good ones, like that old woman, were married. He was twenty-seven, out of work again, and he hoped to get married before he became too old to enjoy being married to a babe still interested in having sex and scrubbing his back and in bath and she'd screamed in delight and anger not knowing which as he pulled her into the water fully dressed and wearing her watch. He had three pals who were married and they claimed their wives hit them awake during the night to have sex.

Oh boy. But it would just be his luck to find his wife's name wasn't Mrs Johns but Mrs Frigid.

Freddie had called his mom a couple of days ago and when told he was out of work again she spoke to his dad and Freddie heard the heat discussion as his father said oh no, not again. Then his mom was back on the phone and said, "Your father agrees with me you best come home and we'll support you."

Freddie remained aware his mom dominated his father and so had paved the way for him to return home. He loved his mom but she had been a bit much for him at times. She would have made a great Army drill sergeant. Even so he wasn't scared of displeasing his mom but he sure was careful with her because she stood six-three and weighed 220 lbs. and had forearms that probably had the power to knock him into tomorrow. He was five-eight and weighed 147 lbs.

In her younger day his mom been arrested at a bar for assaulting a drunk for pinging her bra back-strap. She knocked him over a table and he slammed against the wall, breaking his nose. The two arresting cops had a hard time getting her into their vehicle and when they contacted the station they were bringing her in, the desk sergeant told them to let her go. The sergeant said no woman was that strong and the Judge was bound to ridicule the police for bringing a woman alleged to have knocked a jerk through the air in that manner.

At Freddie's 16th birthday his mom became a legend amongst kids from school attending his party when fat Alfie Brewster asked Mrs John was she really strong for a woman. Annie grabbed 'Fat Chops' and lifted him high above her head and only lowered him gently when, bawling, he cried she was the strongest woman in the world.

Yeah they had been great times growing up.

Freddie's start to adult life had been crap though. He hadn't gone to college because his parents were a bit short of money after his father had lost money in a failed business deal. Freddie had been in and out of jobs including seasonal jobs on farms, a job at a slaughterhouse but it closed, he trained as a security guard and was employed at a bank until he was confronted by the bank's deputy manager for parking in the manager's allocated spot. Freddie knocked out the manager who swung the first punch but was unfairly fired for behavior 'unbecoming for a security officer'.

He then worked at a battery disposal plant, being promoted as a foreman, but became one of the first employees to be laid off when the company lost a big contract. He then worked for his longest spell in the one job, nineteen months at a plant nursery as forklift operator but the owner found him shafting a married checkout operator on bales of peat. Freddie considered once again he'd been treated unfairly. The woman had seduced him but he was fired from the job on the grounds of immorality.

Freddie sniffed. Yeah he certainly wasn't amassing a brilliant work record, but the varied experience gained had been good for preparing him for the next big thing although he still had to have the first big thing.

Freddie was humming along the highway and his old pickup was humming too when he spotted a woman up ahead beside a black vehicle with the hood up, signs that something was amiss.

He stopped behind the vehicle and said, "Trouble ma'am?"

"It's miss. You may call me Wendy."

"Peter," he said and she laughed and said many guys tried that on with her.

"Then if I'm not Peter Pan I must be Freddie."

"Thanks for stopping Freddie. There was a big thump and a clunk and the motor continued running normally but I was losing speed as if I had shifted into neutral."

"Oh-oh."

"It's bad isn't it?"

"Well I'll not scare you. It's probably something to do with the transmission but might only be a coupling that's disintegrated or something like that. Look I can save you money by hooking up and towing you to a service center."

"I'll drive ahead of your vehicle and attach a tow rope. I'll try to look under the coupe but it's low to the ground."

"I've already done that and saw nothing untoward."

"Oh brilliant Wendy. You are a handy female to have around."

She glanced and him cutely. "Are you saying you are interested in me?"

Freddie did a double take and said, "What do you mean?"

"I don't have dates at present and haven't done so for months."

"Um could we get your coupe to a service center first and that we can discuss other matters."

"Yes of course. I was just hopeful, that's all, um I mean I'm not living anywhere in particular."

"Right Wendy, let's talk about towing. I need to tell you how I will I signal and how you should communicate with me on the move and how you must NEVER, NEVER brake heavily."

"Yes boss."

"Good, I have great confidence in you and know you'll keep calm Wendy."

A kid cried.

"What was that?"

"Oh it's my daughter Milly. You see Freddie, I'm an abandoned unmarried mother and I'm thinking perhaps we should abandon this car that I took from a guy I stayed with last night."

Freddie pulled the end of his nose and asked, "Did you also steal his wallet?"

"Yes."

He sighed. Wendy was on a parallel course to him. She was going nowhere fast because nothing was going right for her and unless she deviated she'd really land at the bottom of the heap. She was already a criminal in stealing the wallet and the poor jerk's car. She was sinking faster than he was.

"Are you really a hooker?"

She smiled and he confirmed she really was pretty.

"Do I look like one?"

Freddie used his good side and smiled and said no.

"I only do it for survival. You must understand that. I've stolen wallets before but this is the first time I've taken a jerk's vehicle."

"Wendy I've had a rethink. I'll drop you off at the next settlement and then I'll be on my way."

"After making sure I haven't taken your wallet?"

He ignored that and said he'd help her load her things into the pickup.

"Here hold this. Her name is..."

"Milly."

Wendy flashed a smile and said with him being male she'd thought he wouldn't have remembered her baby's name after just one mention.

"I like the name."

"Oooh and I like you for saying that."

God she's angling for his wallet, Freddie thought, taking the baby in its car seat carry-thingy.

Freddie had always been a sucker for grown-up babes with baby-blue eyes and little Milly grabbed him big-time.

"She's cute."

"Of course."

"How old?"

"Four months. Hey be careful, we'll suck you in."

That made Freddie ready to run.

But he couldn't take his eyes off the kid. She was smiling at him.

Then the mom goaded him.

"Be careful, Milly likes you."

"Er I don't know about that."

Wendy laughed and said that was good thinking, that infants only had short focus and not a great deal to look at so when anything came close to them and it moved they tended to focus intently.

"She doesn't know you from a bar of soap."

"Can't you tell her I'm Freddie?"

"I tell her things all the time but she doesn't comprehend yet. I like to think she knows me better than anyone else and recognizes it's me when I hold her and she recognizes my distinctive smell."

"Do you um feed her?"

"You mean by breast milk? Yes. It's all she has. I'm thinking you'd like to see her at my breast."

Freddie scratched the back of his neck and looked skywards and said it didn't look like rain.

Wendy giggled.

"Oh look there's a big smile for you and a bubble but beware, that big smile is Milly's built-in survival mechanism to radiate appeal. It's allure. You probably don't recognize it unless you are bright enough to know older females produce it when they want you to like them, particularly if they are wish to have sex with you."

"I'm not that bright," Freddie grinned. "The much older females just sucker me. We better get a move on before a cruising cop stops and questions us."

"Yes we must protect Milly."

As they drove off, Freddie realized he was being seduced. The words 'we must protect Milly' kept running through his mind.

Yes, Wendy was in survival mode, attempting to turn him into some kind of benefactor in the best interest of mom and baby. He was amazed she had the ability to switch to operate at that level; it was much more sophisticated than grabbing a wallet and running. Wendy was attempting to steer him into accepting responsibility for them. It was either that or he was dreaming.

They came to a small town and he stopped by a public phone on the sidewalk.

"Is this where we are dumped?

He looked at Wendy and felt the urge to sweep some stray hair back over her forehead.

"You'd like me to dump you I guess?"

It was almost frightening. He watched her smile go and her confidence slump and yet she said bravely, "Do what you must."

Jesus this babe had guts.

"I'm taking you home and we'll see what mom says."

Her shoulders lost that slump.

"You really don't have to. I'm guessing you have problems of your own."

"Correct. We appear to be a parallel pair, both enduring a bit of a downer. But that's enough of philosophy. We have to try to avoid the cops setting out after you in answer to a stolen vehicle complaint."

"The only hope I've got is to run."

"Or alternatively we use our brains. Do you recall the name of the joint where you were with that guy last night?"

"Yes Blue Sky Motel in Wakefield."

"I'll call them and tell the motel where the car is. That might lead to the cops putting that complaint of a stolen vehicle into archives. I suppose you told the jerk you name was something other than Wendy."

"Yes but my real name is Wendy, Wendy McLeod."

"But is Wendy McLeod your real name?"

"Yes I can show..."

"It's you real name," he grinned.

She smiled.

He lost his smile and asked soberly, "Is it safe to leave the key in the ignition?"

She stared back and said to take the key when he went to make the call.

Freddie made a big decision. He grunted in stepping out of the vehicle. He leaned back it to remove the key and tossed it on her lap.

He called for the number of the motel in Wakefield and asked to speak to the manager.

"You are speaking to her."

"Did you have a guest's vehicle stolen from your motel last night?"

"Yes a black Toyota. Why?"

Freddie gave her details of the approximate location of the vehicle and cut the call.

He sat back in his vehicle and found the key back in the ignition lock.

"So you decided I trusted you and you decided to trust me because right now there's nothing much else going for you and wee Milly apart from me."

He watched a tear run down her cheek as she said, "For a near deadbeat you are fucking clever."

"Gee thanks," he said lightly. "When do I get to see the tit when you feed Milly?"

"When we stop for food."

"Nah you have your privacy. I don't want Milly growing up thinking I must have been a piece of crap."

"Milly will be told you were a Highway Hero."

"Thanks for that Wendy. You know, I'm beginning to think you can't be all that bad."

"Asshole," she said, sniffing.

They came to a river and Freddie stopped off the two-lane highway.

"Give me the wallet you stole."

He removed a wad of money and handed it to her.

"That's eight hundred and seventy-five bucks," she said smugly. "You keep some of it."

"No thanks. What else is in here?"

"Three credit cards and other cards, some receipts, a skinny address book and three condoms."

Freddie removed the condoms and pocketed them, placed two small stones in the wallet and closed it. He walked to the bridge and dropped it into the river.

He returned to the vehicle and said, "It's unlikely but we could be stopped by cops and searched. Do you have anything else linking you to that jerk and that motel?"

"No."

"Are you sure, not even motel tissues?"

"No I took nothing else. You know enough to be a slick criminal."

He grinned and told her he'd trained as a security officer and said most bad guys were too dumb to toss away all evidence that could link them back to a crime.

"I'm beginning to think you are more than just a pretty face," she said.

"I've had four wallets stolen by overnight sexy women like you," he admitted. "The first babe took me for about two-fifty bucks, two credit cards and some other stuff. That taught me a big lesson. I bought half a dozen cheap wallets and thereafter would pack one of those when I left my vehicle, hiding my real wallet and extra keys, and would go into the love nest with my fake wallet."

"God not every overnight babe would steal a wallet. So if you've had four wallets stolen how many overnight babes have you shafted."

"I don't talk about my raunchy exploits," he said.

"Go on, how many? I'm really interested Freddie, please tell me. Milly might like to be told in twenty years' time when I recite her life history."

"I've never kept count but I'd guess over the past year I would have banged more than fifty."

"Wow, are you addicted to one-nighters?"

"Hmmm, the truth is I've never retained a girlfriend for longer than two weeks. There's something wrong with me."

"You probably bang them and roll over, finite."

"What?"

"Forget it. Could we please get a move on to increase our distance from that abandoned vehicle and the cops and the distraught owner who'll want to screw my neck?"

"I wonder if he's learnt his lesson and will have the brains to buy cheap substitute wallets."

"Shut up Freddie," she giggled.

"Okay we're on our way again."

She looked into the storage space between the two bucket seats and said, "Milly is sleeping for such a long time and looks so content. I think instinctively she feels safe because you smiled at her and already she recognizes your voice."

"Nice try Wendy. She can't hear me when she'd sleep."

"Well can we be sure out that? Are you aware that Milly could hear me talking to her when she was in my womb?"

"Wendy pull my other leg."

"No it's true. Fairly recent research has established a six-month-old fetus can move its body to the rhythm of its mother's speech."

"Gee whizz that's amazing. Um do you like having sex?"

"I really do if I'm with the right guy. Why did you ask that, are you angling for it?"

Freddie said hastily to divert, "A small settlement is just ahead. Let's stop for food."

"I'll pay if you can bear to eat food paid for by stolen money."

"Yeah this one is your turn. I'm no angel baby."

"So I'm baby now?"

"Um sorry, just a slip."

"I bet you'll slip into me if you catch me off guard."

Freddie flushed.

They parked right outside the fast-food place and ate at a sidewalk table to allow them to leave Milly in the pickup. Freddie chose two steak burgers with tomato, fried onion and an egg while Wendy ate rather bland food because of breast feeding.

They stopped later off the highway while Wendy changed Milly's diaper and then fed her.

"Come over and watch."

Freddie sat by Wendy and couldn't help thinking mother and daughter looked so beautiful, so much at peace, on the tarp on green grass with woods in the background and birds singing.

When Milly was having a rest, Wendy lay her down and expressed a bit of milk on to a finger and held it out to Freddie and said, "Suck."

He was up to the challenge.

She asked, "What did you think?"

He asked had she been picking her nose and Wendy smiled at him, shaking her head slowly.

"You response stymied a potentially interesting conversation Freddie. You made a joke out of something I was feeling pleased and soft about in attempting to really connect with you. You have no idea of how to talk to a woman, do you?"

"I get along all right. Women I deal with either want you to fuck them or boss you around if you are working with them."

"Oh Freddie."

"What?"

Wendy sighed. "Women you get together with, one apparently lasting a record time of two weeks, find with you it's a one-sided relationship. Your relationship with a woman centers on parts of her body, end of story, whereas a female's interest in on the whole you and some of the aspects of your life and perhaps what you were like as a wee boy and what your aspirations are."

"Yeah the can't help being nosy."

"Yes Mr Cave Man and I bet it was the female who was out of the cave first because she wanted to grab life with both hands."

"This is deep stuff Wendy."

"Yes it is and you are going to hear a lot more from me. God I was aware men could be like this but you have rather stunned me. I've found the perfect example of a guy with one foot still in his cave."

"Do you really believe this crap you are spouting?"

"Oh Freddie."

"Well I suggest you don't let my mom hear you say I'm stunted in any way. My mom is twice your size."

"Get real," Wendy giggled. "No woman is that big."

Freddie drove up the short driveway of a modest house set on a well-kept and beautified site.

"Oh what lovely trees and gardens. Does you dad have a gardener?"

"Yeah mom."

"You talk about your mom but rarely mentioned your father."

"Ah more philosophy. I've leave it and you might find out why mom is the more prominent personality."

"Oh you are able to recognize you mom has a personality?"

"Bitch."