Greek Life Middleman

Bran looked up into the faces of almost thirty upset and angry girls and briefly wondered how things had gotten to this low point. He sat in a sorority house tied up on the ground with half a sorority, reinforcements on the way, out for his blood.

He thought back on how his brother's fraternity had sent him over to negotiate. Him. He wasn't even a fucking brother of the fucking house and they'd sent him to do their dirty work! This was the last time he was letting Daniel pull the "remember who got that chick to pop your eighth-grade cherry...?"

Of course, things hadn't been quite how they had described. Bran had been led to believe that things would go smoothly; all he had to do was ensure that several disposable cameras with sensitive pictures of several sorority girls would be returned with their film intact for the return of a stack of sex tapes the fraternity had been creating.

When he had arrived to negotiate, he'd been jumped and tied up with what looked and felt like bondage gear. Black, frizzy rope wound around him all over, leaving his arms tied uncomfortably behind his back and his left leg curled up like he was sitting on his knees. He grunted as a foot prodded him for an answer.

"Who the fuck told you it was okay to come here without proof that you're gonna make good on what you say? Do you think we're stupid?" the apparent chapter president asked impatiently.

"The fuck is wrong with you?! What proof?!" Bran snapped back.

The girl didn't look pleased with his answer. "The cameras, asshat!" she shouted.

"Well how can I go get the cameras if I'm tied the fuck up?! Nobody told me I was supposed to bring them today!" Bran was fuming mad. There were two girls looking through his wallet in front of him on top of the fact that the chapter president was berating him like he was some kind of idiot for walking into a clearly unstable situation.

She rubbed her face with her hand in an exasperated gesture. "I knew we should've just sent Tracy. My god, this is just never-ending with these guys."

Bran managed to get one of his hands loose from the rope and worked his forearm out of his messy bindings as the girls spun off into a different conversation and the room got rather noisy all at once. Bran noticed that the attention was no longer on him for the moment.

The girl with his wallet tossed it into his lap and he cringed as an undue amount of pain from his anatomy flared up. This was getting on his last nerve. Getting tied up was one thing; getting hit in the nuts was another. He pushed his legs out with everything he had in him, and surprisingly, the rope loosened completely around one of them. He raised his knee to his chest and then kicked out again, feeling the rope slacken around him.

Spurred on, he wrenched his arm free and most of the rope fell away from him as everything loosened. He figured that this was his only chance and decided to bolt for the open front door. He grabbed his wallet and almost leapt the distance from the living room wall to the door, surprising everyone in the room and riling up the little terrier that one of the girls kept here.

He rounded through the doorway and almost took out a sister coming into the house with grocery bags in her hands. Narrowly missing her, he bounded off the front porch and skipped the steps entirely. By now, the girls were starting to pile out of the house after him with shouts and orders being raised all at once. Bran hit the ground and something pulled tight around his shins. Almost immediately, his legs came out from under him as if someone had pulled his ankles over his head behind him.

He fell face first into the yard and slammed his head against the ground. Stars flashed before his eyes and pushed himself to his knees woozily, looking toward his car down the street. A glance back at the house let him see what had caught his legs.

The black rope around him was almost completely unwound now, and several girls were sitting on top of it in a pile of tangled limbs, having stepped on it and been thrown off their feet as it came out from under them. Unfortunately for the recent hostage, that same effect had pulled his own feet out from under him. Bran kicked his legs free and got to his feet, heading toward his car as fast as he could hobble with a throbbing skull. The terrier barking from behind him didn't help his head.

Fortunately, the trip-up at the door had most of the girls trying to get around their friends and off the porch. Another sister that had been outside blocked Bran's way, and he did his best to shove her aside without outright hurt her. Even given the shittiness of the situation, he wouldn't just punch a girl in the face unless his life was actually threatened.

Still, she grabbed at his shirt and her nails tore it most of the way around as she caught skin. Bran just pushed through it and took the pain, sprinting blindly across the street. If he got hit by a car, the sorority would be paying for it.

He made it across the street with enough of a lead to get to his car without having to kick someone off his door. He shoved the key into the ignition and his Forerunner cranked to life with a roar. He shifted into reverse and something landed in his passenger seat with a jungle.

He didn't look at it as he turned around in his seat and reversed as fast as he could to get the hell away from the cul-de-sac the sorority house was located in. Nearly getting T-boned by a minivan on his way out, he floored it down the street and checked his rearview almost ten times before he called things clear.

Something from his right started breathing heavily and he looked over into his passenger seat to find the terrier from the house sitting there, wagging his tail and panting like nothing was wrong. Bran almost stopped the car and screamed.

He decided to just go back to his house and sort everything out there. Fuck, this was too much to deal with! What the fuck was that all about at the house anyway?! Bran ran his hand through his hair and let out a long, frustrated sigh.

From the other seat, the terrier barked out at the couple walking on the sidewalk, feet up on the edge of the window and tail wagging back and forth like a light-speed pendulum. Bran quickly realized why the dog was here. He thought he was going for a ride. It helped his mood just a little to know that at least one of them was having a good day so far.

- Theta Kappa Kappa Sorority House -

Karen put her face in her hand and growled unceremoniously as the sisters who'd gotten hurt falling down the steps were helped into the house. She went over the current situation in her head for a few moments before just giving up on how fucked they were right now.

They'd let the frat guy get away, and now he'd taken-

"Where's Toby?" Ellen asked from the yard. "C'mere Toby! C'mere boy! Toby!"

"Ellen," Karen said. "He took Toby. He's with that guy now."

"What?!" the sister shrieked in disbelief. Karen could already see the tears starting to well up in the brunette's eyes. "He..." She outright started crying before she could even finish what she was going to say, and several sisters hurried over to bring her out of it.

God, she loved that yappy little mutt like he was her baby. Given, he was absolutely adorable and she'd trained him pretty well. Well enough to stay at the house while Ellen was away and not be trouble for the sisters. Usually he stayed with the treasurer Helen in her room, but sometimes he'd wander around the house and get attention from the sisters.

Right now though, he was a hostage for the fraternity, Pi Gamma Epsilon.

Karen pulled herself together and put on a strong front for the sisters as she walked back into the house and gathered up the sorority for a battle strategy.

"How the fuck are we gonna get Toby back?" one of the sisters asked. The entire room fell into upheaval as almost fifty voice rose in clamor over what to do or who was going to do it or how to handle the situation. Karen was already not liking the prospect of having to get the cameras and save Toby from his potential mistreatment or exploitation at the frat house.

"Guys..." Karen had to shout to get anyone to hear her at all. It didn't quite work, so she put her hands around her mouth and tried again. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

That did the trick.

The room fell silent and all eyes turned to the president, who felt she had a remarkable way of getting the attention of an entire room with less than ten words. Sighing, she laid out a rudimentary plan to get their dog back and get back at the frat house.

"So here's the deal. We've got a missing dog and cameras that need to be traded for. Thing is, we only have a few tapes left to trade with. How I see it is we get to trade the tapes for either Toby or the cameras, 'cause they're assholes over there and they have leverage now. We need leverage too. What can we get?"

"Well," Helen offered. "We know that guy's last name at least. And what he looks like."

Karen nodded. "So we've got his identity. What else do we have? How can we get at these guys? Think girls." The entire group went into brainstorming out loud, and the situation devolved quickly into little groups talking amongst themselves for a solution. Nothing really seemed to stick until someone suggested that they just try to make a trade with the Fletcher guy and not the entire fraternity.

"Say that again."

"We might be able to get him to give Toby back if we, like, bribe him or something? You know? Like, go over to the house and talk to him alone and see what he wants for Toby. That way we don't have to deal with the whole frat house."

"Great!" Karen exclaimed. "Okay, so how do we bribe a frat boy?"

"Beer?" someone suggested. The entire house laughed at the reality that beer might be the answer, given that it was a frat boy they were talking about.

"Sex," someone else said.

"Sex."

"Yeah, sex."

"Sex."

"Sex is always the answer."

Karen nodded in agreement with her sisters. "Sex it is then. So, now we just have to pick who has sex with him."

There was dead, uncomfortable silence throughout the entire house as it dawned on the sorority all at once that one of them was going to be a whore for a night. They all looked at each other nervously and tried not to think about if they were the one to go.

Karen looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. "Great. So...I guess we do this by drawing straws or something, right?" Again, she was met by silence.

"I'll go make the cards," Dedra, the vice-president said.

Once the bowl of pieces of paper were cut up and sorted out, each sister, including the cabinet members to keep things entirely fair, picked one out from the bowl and sat back down around the living room until everyone was done.

All at once, Karen had them open their pieces of paper. She gave a mental sigh in relief as hers read 'NO' in big letters across the folded slip of paper. From across the living room, she heard whimper and everyone turned to see who had been the unlucky girl to be chosen.

Tara.

Tara the back-woods, country, down to earth Georgian who'd gotten into the sorority because she was one of the nicest people anyone had ever met. As the girl's face turned bright red, Karen felt sorry for her. Given the history between the two Greek entities at war, she was going to get a rough night at the frat house.

"Y'all pray for me, please," she said, standing up. Her considerable bosom bobbed up and down as she went upstairs to get changed, head hung low. While Karen didn't want to see any of her sisters go into the jaws of Hell itself, Tara was arguably one of the hottest girls on campus and would definitely be able to get Toby back.

Even so, the president couldn't help but feel a little bit responsible for the entire mess they were in with Toby. Maybe it would be better for her to go instead. She'd slept with enough guys to make casual sex basically meaningless. But the unfortunate reality was that if they didn't start out with their best foot forward, they might lose their chance to get him back at all. She really didn't want to, but if it was for a sister...

"Helen, if she has any second thoughts," Karen started, sending the treasurer upstairs with Tara. "I'm going instead."

"Prez..."

Karen hardened her stare as much as she could to look intimidating. "I mean any second thoughts."

"Okay," was all Helen could say before going upstairs to catch the busty blonde.

- Bran's House -

Bran pushed the front door open with his foot and cradled the terrier in his arms as best he could while he walked in. The damn dog had nearly jumped out of the fucking car to chase some tail! Bran sure as hell wasn't going to let go of the mutt until the door was closed and locked.

He slammed the door with his shoulder and then set the dog on the ground. Immediately, the spotted canine put his nose to the floor and his tail between his legs, sniffing around uncomfortably. Bran guessed he wasn't used to being outside of his own house, so he left him to his own business.

"Hey Roger, you home?"

Roger answered from the game room, "Yeah, what's up? D'you bring home the pizza?"

Bran groaned. "Fuck man, I forgot. I'll go get it." He turned around to leave, but heard footsteps coming up the hallway. Roger appeared with a pizza box in hand.

"Nah, I'm- whoa, the fuck happened to you?" Roger set the pizza box down and pulled out his phone. He snapped a picture as Bran's expression went sour.

"A sorority full of angry girls, that's what," he answered. He looked himself over to find his left forearm red from rope burn and blood sticking his shirt to his side. It was ripped half way down the side and needed to be thrown out now.

"Best caption ever," Roger said as he fiddled with his phone for a few seconds and then took another picture. "Now take your shirt off. Melissa's gonna want raw pics next."

Bran walked to the bathroom, pushing his roommate aside. "Dude, fuck you. Your girlfriend's fetishes can wait. Aw man, they fuckin' went cat woman on me!"

As Bran got the alcohol to clean his side with, Roger brought the pizza in with the sorority dog close behind. "So, who's dog?" he asked.

"Fuck if I know, man," Bran answered as he took off his shirt and got another picture taken. He grabbed the cotton balls from under the sink and poured alcohol all over one. "He just jumped in my car when I left. I don't know what the fuck to do with him."

"You can't take him back?" Roger asked sincerely.

Bran rubbed his side clean and ran the last cotton ball over his arm just to be sure it was alright. It stung like Hell. He glared down at the dog and made a face at it. The dog practically ignored him to stare at the pizza box in Roger's hand.

"You have no idea man, that fucking place is a warzone. I'm not going back until somebody comes with me. I don't care if I need Seal Team Six; I need backup." Bran took off his shorts and Roger snapped another picture.

"It's for Melissa, dude, don't worry."

"Seriously Roger, Melissa's "lols" and "omgs" can wait. I'm about to take a shit," Bran replied.

Roger was unmoved. "My statement still stands."

"Fuck off dude," the injured roommate said while trying to hold back a chuckle. He got into the shower and threw his boxers over the shower curtain.

"You shit in the shower?" Roger asked cheekily.

Bran turned on the water and hid under the range of the showerhead until the water was warm. "My statement still stands." Satisfied with enough banter, Roger closed the door for Bran and let him take a long, hot shower.

Afterwards, he found the dog sitting on the couch in the living room looking at the pizza box on the table in the kitchen. Bran sat down next to him after getting his half of the pizza and turned on the PlayStation.

While he watched a movie, he fed the dog the crusts from his pizza. Apparently, that won him some brownie points because the terrier curled up in his lap after the third one and after the fourth he flipped over to have his belly rubbed.

Now that he wasn't being a pain in the ass, the dog, whose collar said 'Toby', wasn't that bad of a critter. He didn't bark much and he was pretty calm as far as small animals went. Bran had fully expected Toby to be running around in circles and destroying everything in sight. It was a pretty welcome surprise to have him not be a problem.

"So, how's dog-sitting coming?" asked Roger as he went into the kitchen.

Bran shrugged. "Not bad, actually. He's a pretty chill guy."

"Bitchin'!" Roger exclaimed. Bran gave him a look that asked what was up with his response, and Roger raised a to-go box of Buffalo Wild Wings. "We've still got leftovers from Sunday. But yeah, he seems pretty chill." Roger threw his food into the microwave and sat down next to Bran when he was done.

"Watch your food though. He seems pretty serious about it," Bran warned, prompting Roger to raise the box close to his face as he ate.

"So, while I've got CoD paused, what exactly went on at that house?"

Bran rolled his eyes. "What makes you so interested now? Does Melissa want all the dirty details?"

"Fuck no, man. I wanna know how you got a whole sorority to hate you in one day."

Bran recounted in his head the events leading up to his encounter with the sorority. With a sigh, he let his head roll back and looked at the ceiling.

"Okay, so my brother called me this morning and asked me to go to the sorority house to pick something up. It'll be fine, he said. Nothing to worry about. Just some politics getting done. You're just the middle man." He paused and tried not to think about how much he wanted to punch his brother in the face.

"Okay...?" Roger urged him on.

"So I get there, and they ask me what I want, and I told them I was there for the fraternity. And the next thing I know there's fifty fuckin' girls pushing me from every direction and somebody get the absolutely fabulous idea that they should tie me up! Then they throw me against the fucking wall and steal all my shit, yell at me for ten minutes and then basically forgot I was even there."

"What, were they arguing over who got to suck your dick?" Roger joked. "Sorority full of horny girls can't keep a lid on that forever, y'know."

"If I were that lucky I'd have a girl in my lap instead of a dog. God, that fucking place was Hell on earth, I swear. I've never seen more PMS in my life."

"So you got tied up. Then what happened?"

Bran paused again to think. "Somehow I kicked myself free and bolted for the door for my life. I got out and half way across the yard the ground meets me at what approaches the speed of light. Fuck, I thought I was gonna die. After that, I got up and some bitch did this to me." He raised his left arm to put emphasis on the raw scratches on his ribs. "I sprinted my ass off down the street, jumped in the Forerunner, and got the fuck out of there. And somewhere in there, this fucking guy hops in with me."

Roger scratched Toby's belly, causing the little terrier to kick his leg enthusiastically for a while.

"Well, unless you wanna keep him, I guess you should go to the frat bros and see if you can get them to return the dog. Other than that though, cool story to tell the kids once you find Miss Juggnificent."

"Fuck Daniel. I'm not asking him shit." As if he knew the conversation had shifted to him, Toby rolled over and placed his paws on Alex's chest. He licked the wounded college student's face with his tail wagging back and forth like a windshield wiper.

"Then take him home."

Bran gave Roger an incredulous look. "They know who I am. They know what my car looks like. They think I stole their dog. Do you honestly think that if I go back up there that they'll just let me walk away?"