tagHumor & SatireHalloween Short Tales

Halloween Short Tales

bysugarisnice©

Each story is exactly 50 words long. The titles do not count in the word total.

*

Devil's Shit List
Three friends die and go to Hell.
Roy and Jim have to sleep with two ugly hags.
"Why," they ask.
"Because you're on my shit list," the Devil said.
They then see Tony sleeping with Heidi Klum?
"What's that about?" they say.
The devil replies, "She's on my shit list."


Robin's Bobbin'
The party invitation said "Halloween Costume Fun" in bold letters.
New in town, Robin arrived dressed as a kitty.
The door closed and she was surrounded by 10 men.
Suddenly she heard, "Who's ready for the Robin Bobbin Game."
"Do they mean blow jobs?" just as her mouth was filled.


Kitty gets Tagged
Robin finished bobbin for cock and was offered a drink.
"This sure is a fun party," she said.
"Glad you liked it. Now who's ready to fuck the kitty?"
Robin was bent over a chair; had her pussy and ass fucked all night.
"Why am I such a bad kitty?"


Candle ass
Two girls decided to go trick-or-treating dressed as ghosts.
Arriving at a dark house, a woman dressed as a Good Witch appeared.
At least that's what they thought at first.
Once inside, they witch stripped them, sealed their lips tight and used their tight asses for candle holders.


A Devil at Play
The devil granted John three wishes.
"Make me rich!" John was worth beyond wealth.
"Give me a beautiful wife!" A gorgeous nude blonde model appeared at his side.
"Make my cock huge!" John's erection grew to enormous size and turned black from lack of circulation.
"C'mon. Give me a break."


Too Hot not to ...
Ralph was fucking Kendra hard in bed.
He was nearing a huge cum.
Suddenly Kendra's eyes turned red.
"Are you OK?" Ralph asked.
"Turning into a black spider," she grunted. "Yesssssss. Now cum darling before I eat your head."
Ralph wanted to leave, but he was so close, and (crunch)...


Bad Dream Ream
Tim's ass hurt when he woke up.
"I had the weirdest dream last night."
"Really," Chad said.
"I was getting hit with a hammer hard."
"I had a weird dream, too. I was hammered last night and thought I was fucking my girlfriend."
"Why does my ass hurt?"
"I dunno."


Licking Witches
Barbara was in a tight spot.
She loved licking Lindsey's pussy, but after learning Linds was a witch,
she was unclear what to do.
"Should I become a pussy licking slave for life or do my Biology homework?"
Barbara soon disappeared, becoming the pussy licking slave for a witches coven.


Witches Poker
The witches met for their Halloween poker game.
Tina and Patty sat scared for their lives.
They would be slaves to whomever was the winner.
All was fine until Esmeralda pulled out five kings.
Striking her down, Gwen said she was cheating, then produced five aces to win the pot.


Trick, Treat, Eat
Three girls approached a house.
"Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat."
"Well, which is it?," the homeowner said.
One said trick, and was turned into a hooker.
Another girl was forced to lick the woman's boots and the third girl ate the woman's pussy.


What's up there?
Rhonda the witch bets Jack $100 that a mouse will run out his ass.
They get blitzed drunk and wind up in an alley. Rhonda casts a spell and suddenly the man's pants are wiggling. Suddenly Jack hears a lion's roar.
"Oops. Guess my spell didn't work. Here's your money."


Tricked while treating
Two college girls go out trick-or-treating.
They return late and compare their loot.
"I got a lot of gum," one said.
"I got a lot of chocolate," another said.
A third girl stands and with a big grin said, "I just fucked your boyfriends while you were gone."


Truth or Dare
"Truth or Dare?" Rene said.
"Dare," Pam replied.
"I dare you to lick my boot."
Pam did, and then asked Rene, "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth," she said.
"Why did you make me lick your boot?" Pam asked.
"Because," Rene said, "I just walked in dog shit and needed them cleaned."


Wishes go wrong
Tim picked up a coin and chucked it into a wishing well.
"I wish I could be taller."
He soon rockets to 7-feet.
Thinking it over, he finds another coin and drops it in the well wishing to be small.
He doesn't shrink, but his dick becomes a needle.


Killing that Witch
Ray has not gotten laid in awhile.
He spots Gina and asks her out.
She tells him she's a witch and if they fuck, he dies.
Considering all the options, Ray fucks her but kills her just before he comes.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right," he said.


Becoming Martha Stewart
A genie gives three women a wish.
"I want bigger boobs," one said. Her tits became so big she tips over.
"I want a rounder ass," another said. Her butt got huge and explodes
The third woman thinks it over and asked to be a witch.
She became Martha Stewart.



A Tasty Meal
Little Red Riding Hood met up with the big bad wolf.
"Take my basket if you will, but please don't hurt me," she pleaded.
"I don't want your basket, I want you to taste my sausage," the wolf said.
To the wolf's horror, she cut it off and ate it.


A Princesses World
A woman saw a frog which said, "If you kiss me I will make you a princess."
"I always wanted to be royalty. OK," she said as she kissed the frog's head and was turned into a Chihuahua.
"Hey, oh no!?" she said.
"There you are Princess," said Paris Hilton.


An Angel's Shit List
Three celebrity tarts die and go to Heaven.
Ashley and Lindsey find themselves blowing two bums.
"Why," they ask an angel.
"Because you are on my shit list," she said.
They see Katie being eaten by Tom.
"Why," they ask the angel.
"Tom's on my shit list," the angel said.


The Devil and Mrs. Smith
The Devil looks at his watch and grimaces.
"I told you to tell me when it was midnight," he said to his wife.
"Sorry Devie," she sighed.
"It's just like you to forget."
"Well it's no picnic being your wife," she said.
"It's harder being the husband of Angelina Jolie."


Dirty Eggs
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
A witch walked by and scooped him up.
"Why are you doing that," he inquired.
"Because everyone knows Humpty Dumpty makes great egg salad," she said.
"Oh I hope you enjoy it, as I just shit my pants."


Wolfman out for a Bite
The Wolfman was out on the town looking for hot meat to eat.
All of a sudden he came upon Nicole Ritche, who pleaded for her life.
"Please Mr. Wolfman, please don't eat me."
"Listen lady, you're thinner than a toothpick. Don't worry."
He ended up eating her chubby husband.


Tough working nights
Dan came home from work and had a drink.
"Is that you dear. Are you half in the bag already?"
"No honey, just taking the edge off."
"Good, because it's getting light outside."
"I know, it's tough being a vampire," Dan said, still sucking off the nurse he had captured.


On Retirement
The Devil was getting tired of his work.
"I just want to lay back and retire. I'm getting too old for this," he said.
"Well, why don't you just go to Arizona," his pal said. "They have nice retirement villages there.
"What, you think I should roast in that heat?"


The Last Scare
Halloween was almost over and Ghoul the ghost still hadn't found anyone to scare.
Then he came upon a couple fucking madly in the bushes.
"Booooooooooo," he squealed.
The woman began moaning in fear. "Look, oh no."
"Quit your crying," her boyfriend said. "I ain't that bad."
Ghoul left, dejected.


The Vampire and Pammy
Vampire Bob was out looking for a meal in Hollywood.
"Man, these bitches are too thin and I hate biting into bone," he said.
All of a sudden he saw Pamela Anderson, but it didn't cheer him up.
"She's soft, she's fleshy, but dammit, she's one of us," he said.


Take a Bite
A secretary who was a witch was sucking off her boss on Halloween night.
"I should offer you a raise, but I just can't," he said.
"I shouldn't bite off your dick, but I will," she said.
"No, no, I'll get you the raise—ouch," he said.
"(Snap) Too late."


Scare a Ghost
Two ghosts get started haunting late on Halloween.
"I told you we should have started earlier. No one's out
this late," Tom said.
"I know. Wait, there's a woman ahead," Ed said. "Boooooooooooo.
She's not scared."
"Of course not, it's Omarosa," Tom said.
"Gaaa," she said, scaring the ghosts away.


Man without a Soul

A man lost his soul to the devil and wanted it back.
"Is there anything I can do?" he said.
"Get 30 souls to replace yours."
"Give me a few days."
On his return, the Devil rewarded him with his soul, saying, "You're
the man David Hasselhoff. Keep it going."


Devil at the Door
Sarah Palin was campaigning on Halloween when she knocked on a door asking for support.
"Who are you," the homeowner said.
"I'm Sarah Palin and I'm here running for vice president
dontcha know."
"Really. C'mon?"
"Well (looking around), I'm really the devil in disguise."
"Oh, that's nice. Have
a lollipop."


Carnival Games
Three carnival workers are having a beer.
"What's the scariest thing y'all seen on the runway?" Clem asks.
"A girl who puked up a tuna sandwich," Del said.
"Dude's eye popped out," Ric said.
"I once killed two idiots who didn't know I was the devil," Clem said.
"When (slash)"


Devil went to Georgia
The Devil went down to Georgia in a huff.
"I hate that song, and the next idiot who plays it is gonna
die," he said.
"Well I be, it's the devil
itself come to take my soul," said Jimmy, who began plucking his violin and was
struck by lightning.
"Tada!"


Witch's son
A witch showed up at a PTA meeting.
"Uh, excuse me, this meeting is for parents and teachers only," Edna said.
"I'm here to pick-up my boy,"the witch said.
"Who's your son?"
The witch pointed to the principal.
"I knew he was a devilish dirty bastard," Edna said.


Killing you quietly
Three guys are sitting in a basement
"Hey, what time is it," Ken said.
"Uh, 11," Joe said.
"Damn, we missed trick-or-treating tonight," Ken said.
"Well, we could ask Ned's hot mom for something. The trick is to treat her right," Ken said, just before Ned smothered him.


Dick Appears
Tila Tequila was irate that one of her girls posed for Playboy.
"I'll show that Kristy Morgan," Tila said.
A Shaman told Tila to recite a chant, but it backfired, and her wish for Kristy came to her.
"What am I going to do with this dick between my legs?"


Pumpkin Love
Two pumpkins are talking on a porch.
"They carved me up as a witch. What y'all get."
"Well, its a two-fer. The kids made me Frankenstein in front."
"Yeah, so what's the two-fer mean?"
"One of them yokels done busted me a hole in back, and it hurts."


Liquor is Quicker
Two bums get the idea to go trick or treating.
"If kids get candy dressed like us, why can't we," Jed said.
"But we're taller than kids," Norm said.
"Not if we get on our knees," Jed said.
At the first house, they scared the homeowner, and stole their liquor.


Who Sucks
The Harrison's were having a party on Halloween.
"Gee, what's going on over there?" Tara said.
"Oh, you mean that vampire kneeling in front of the skeleton?" Ted said. "That's Jim and Nancy Thomas, our neighbors."
"What did the skeleton say to the vampire?" Tara asked.
"You suck," Ted said.


Serial Killer Support Group
Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and Jeffery Dahmer are talking in
Hell.
"At least I didn't kill any boys like you two fruits," Bundy said.
"At least I buried my victims under my house," Gacy said.
Dahmer took awhile before responding: "Anyone else hungry? There's enough zombies here for everyone."


Never Made it There
Three college guys attend a Halloween party.
"I bet we meet a lot of chicks tonight," one said.
"I know we're going to get really drunk," another said.
"I hope we get there in one piece," the third said.
"Why?"
"Because you made me drive and I'm stoned out cold."

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