Happy Birthday Honey

"Good morning, sweetheart.

"Is it?"

"Happy Birthday."

"Don't remind me."

"Why not? It's a milestone! It's not everyday that a woman reaches seventy and is still hot."

"Yeah! You wish! Wrinkles and all."

"I don't see any wrinkles."

"That's because you love me."

"That's true, but I still don't see many wrinkles."

"Many? So you see some?"

"Of course, but to me they are not wrinkles they are crannies of wisdom."

"Bullshit!"

"Are you awake yet?"

"How can I sleep with you groping me?"

"I'm not groping you. I'm caressing you."

"Get out of there!"

"After fifty years of marriage I still can't touch your butt."

"No one but me touches my butt!"

"Not even your doctor?"

"Only if she has to and I limit those times."

"Your panties are wet."

"M'mmm."

"Seventy years old and still horny."

"M'mm."

"Roll over on your back."

"H'mm."

"I can hear your tummy gurgling."

"I'm hungry."

"For sex?

"H'mm."

"Can't you say anything besides H'mm?"

"H'mm."

"I love your breasts."

"They're saggy and they flop down under my armpits."

"They're just right for an old, I mean older, woman."

"Why?"

"I can play with your nipples without lifting my head."

"Oh, you!"

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Don't make fun of my breasts."

"You like that?"

"H'mm."

"Lift up so I can get your nightgown off."

"God you're beautiful!"

"Only you think so."

"All the men think you are."

"In your dreams."

"No, I hear them identifying you as the beautiful woman with short, white hair."

"All of our friends have short, white hair."

"Nope. They have gray hair. Yours is a beautiful white and you know it so don't bullshit me."

"H'mm."

"Like that?"

"H'mm."

"You have pretty feet."

"They're just feet."

"They're soft and warm and have pretty red toenails."

"Don't! That tickles!"

"They taste good too."

"Don't lick my feet."

"Why?"

"Because they're feet."

"But they're your feet."

"You're nuts!"

"Your legs are so smooth. They feel good on my face."

"Your beard is scratchy."

"So much for being a romantic."

"Oh, stop it! Come up here."

"Can I taste your pussy first?"

"No!"

"Still don't want to try it, huh?"

"No!"

"You're missing out on something great."

"In that case I've missed out on it for fifty years. How would you know anyway?"

"I know things about women."

"I doubt that since I'm the only woman you've ever been with. Right?"

"If you say so."

"You rat!"

"Ow! You're knee is hard. I'm going to have a black eye."

"I didn't hit you that hard. Come up here."

"I'll have to pass your pussy. Can I kiss it on the way up?"

"No!"

"Your hair down here is gray."

"Ouch! Don't do that! You'll pull out what little I have left."

"Want me to shave it?"

"Do I have to answer that one again?"

"How about an anal massage? Would you like that?"

"No! Now get up here or I'm getting out of bed."

"You'll miss your birthday present if you do."

"What present? We don't give each other birthday presents."

"This one."

"Oohh."

"Feel good?"

"H'mm."

"I can't get under your panties. Lift up."

"Wait! There."

"You smell good."

"You're gross."

"I like your smell."

"Why?"

"Because it smells like you and I love you. It's not as strong anymore."

"Maybe because I'm seventy years old."

"Maybe, but I still like it."

"H'mm."

"You're belly's soft."

"H'mm."

"Do you miss it?"

"What?"

"My being able to get an erection?"

"You make me feel just fine without one."

"I've got $500 worth of pills in the medicine cabinet and I still can't get one."

"It's OK. Stop obsessing on it. You're doing fine. You make me happy."

"Right there?"

"H'mm."

"Right at the bottom?"

"H'mm."

"God, you're wet."

"Oohh."

"I love to watch your lips open like a flower."

"Touch me."

"Where?"

"You know."

"In here?"

"H'mm."

"Up here?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I got a yes. I'm impressed. I must be pretty good at this."

"You are. Two."

"Two?"

"Two you know what."

"Yes."

"Like this?"

"Yes."

"Way up in there? Is that the spot?"

"Oohh."

"You taste good too."

"Get your fingers out of your mouth. Go back."

"Back?"

"In, in!"

"How about here?"

"Oohh."

"And here."

"Oohh."

"Up here?"

"Oohh! Yes! Yes!"

"Right on this little button here?"

"Yes, oh yes."

"Like a feather?"

"Yes, yes!"

"I love you."

"Oh, oh, oh! Oh God! Oh God! Eee, eee, eee! Aaahhh! Ooohhh!"

"M'mmm."

"Stop! I'm too sensitive now. Don't!"

"No more?"

"No! Stop! I'll pee."

"I like to make you whimper like that."

"I don't whimper."

"You sound like a little puppy when you cum."

"It feels good."

"I'm pretty good, huh?"

"Better than anyone else."

"Anyone else who?"

"I'm not telling."

"Ow! Don't pull my hair! OK! OK! There never was anyone else."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"M'mm."

"I have to get up."

"Stay for awhile."

"No, I have to pee."

"Playing Mahjong today?"

"Yes, it's Tuesday."

"They going to have a party for you?"

"Probably some cake. No presents."

"They'll be able to tell."

"Tell what?"

"That you had an orgasm this morning."

"How?"

"By that big smile on your face."

"Ha, ha. You think you're that good?"

"Yep!"

"Ok. You are. Now let me up."

"I'll bet you're the only seventy year old girl in your Mahjong group that will have had an orgasm today.

"Probably."

"Are you going to tell them?

"What?"

"How good I am."

"No!"

"Afraid they'll want me to make love to them too?"

"That's it, yes."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get my panties off of your face and put them in the hamper. I'm going to take a shower."

"Happy Birthday, honey."