Heart of Gold Ch. 05byjenn313©
Hello fellow Literoticans, here is the fifth chapter to Heart of Gold series. I want to thank everyone who has shown support for me, my family, and people affected in the disaster through the many emails. I want to thank Waynesb54 for his contribution in the chapter. Don't forget to comment and to vote, yes vote! Without further ado, here's Brendan and Logan to all!
I was not fond of being nervous. On the contrary, I usually was very cool, calm and collected, hardly ever letting anything get to me much.
So why is my heart beating so rapidly and thumping like it will rip out of my chest?
That's the question I kept asking myself as I waited on the corner of Wetmore and Plumber, listening to some power pop music and cracking my knuckles. I occasionally looked at the rearview mirror to see if he was arriving or not. So far... nothing.
I sighed deeply, rubbing my temples and looking in the mirror in an effort to keep from going crazy. Other than my own arctic blue eyes staring back, nothing else appeared.
I thought about the circumstances surrounding tonight. I gave Logan the choice to decide if our rendezvous was a "date" or a "night out hanging with a friend." Truth be told, I had him choose because I myself couldn't decide what it was.
I knew I was overanalyzing this, but I really wanted to know which option he chose. Was this really a night with a bud, just him and me having a rad time or was this something different? My heart thumped double time on the latter part, but both my mind and conscience were siding with the former.
I was waging an internal battle of wits when a knock on the car window shocked me out of my reverie.
"Hey...Brendan," Logan said, giving me a nervous wave.
My breath faltered; sweat began to form on my forehead and the palms of my hands. Also, there was an involuntary tightening in my pants. Oh God! This is really happening!
I was so caught up in the shock that he was in fact truly here that I forgot to unlock the door for him, causing him to knock a second time. "Brendan...um...can you open up? It's really cold."
I stared at him and his eyes were glassy from the cold. I wondered if that skimpy jacket he had on was his signature clothing. He looked like he really tried to "dress to impress," all except for that jacket.
Get it together Brendan. I mentally shook myself and pushed the button to unlock the door, finally giving Logan the opportunity to enter the car. An awkward silence filled the atmosphere and I could only glance at Logan for a few seconds at a time. Each time I managed to look at him, he openly stared back at me with those beautiful eyes of his. His staring and the quiet were starting to make me feel uneasy. The scent from his cheap cologne filled the car.
I broke him out of his endless staring with a snap of my fingers. It only led to him becoming more reclusive and embarrassed. He blushed hotly, which made me fall for him even more.
"Uh...I think we should be going." I stammered. "I've got a very interesting evening planned," I teased mischievously, and to my amazement the red staining his cheek grew darker.
"Just sit back and relax." I connected my iTouch to the stereo, and a power pop song filled the car. "We'll be arriving at our destination in about thirty minutes." Logan nodded silently.
Halfway through the ride, I noticed that Logan had fallen asleep. A feeling of déjà vu occurred when I realized that Logan was sleeping in the exact same position he was in when I had given him a ride to his house earlier in the week. His head was pressed against the window, his mouth slightly open with a drop of saliva threatening to run down the side of his chin.
I smiled because, right then and there, I suddenly realized I had fallen hard for this poor bastard and there was nothing and no one that could stop me.
At each stoplight, I sat admiring the sleeping beauty on the seat next to me, almost as if he were an extraterrestrial. From time to time, I became so entranced by his exquisiteness that I hadn't noticed the streetlights changing until the cars behind me began honking. I refrained from flipping them off, as I was indeed at fault, and pulled off hoping that my sleeping Logan wouldn't wake from his slumber so that I could have another opportunity to stare at him.
I can't help it...he's gorgeous!!! Finally, something good was coming into my life that would take all the stress out of my life.
I hoped he felt the same way. I sighed as a small smile crept onto my face and stayed as I continued to drive in silence.
We finally arrived at the destination I had picked for our "night out". It was a very popular Chinese restaurant, to which more than a few guys, wanting to score extra points, brought their dates. A few famous stars also ate there when they wanted to go low key without sacrificing on quality. I couldn't wait to have Logan try out their world-famous chicken spicy Lo-mien.
"Logan, wake up, we're here. Come on, wake up." I grabbed his arm and gently began to shake him while leaning closer and closer to the viewable portion of his creamy skin visible just above the collar of his shirt. Before long, my pleas for him to wake up were silenced by my lips touching his neck in a gentle caress. I didn't stop there; I kissed up and down the entire left side of his neck, receiving a satisfying groan from a waking Logan that caused my cock to harden.
"Brendan, uhh...Brendan," he moaned and leaned into my kisses. A satisfied and smug grin graced my face. His eyes blinked rapidly before opening and he tensed up from his involuntary reactions as he became more aware of his surroundings. He tried to move as far away from me as possible.
"What's wrong?" I asked nonchalantly, but didn't pull back.
"Ya...you were kissing my neck," he answered and the deep blush, which I had grown to love, flooded his neck and cheeks. A light sheen of sweat glistened on his temples and forehead, making me want to lick his worries away.
"Yeah, I didn't know it was a problem." I leaned in to continue the assault on his neck.
A hand to my chest stopped the advance. "Well...you could at least give me fair warning next time instead of ambushing me when I'm asleep."
His crankiness stunned me, instantly killing the vibe and I pulled back. "Alright Mr. Moody Blues, we're here if you wanted to know."
Most girls usually got really happy, squealed and bounced up and down making their tits jiggle when I took them here. Logan just sat there with a bug-eyed expression, his mouth hanging open, making me feel uneasy and more than a bit scared at what his reaction was going to be. I sensed that this might have been a bad idea.
"I'm not going in there. Take me home if you want to, but I am not going in there." He stated quietly, but adamantly.
He became restrained and unresponsive as feelings of anxiety, nervousness and uncertainty assailed me. I tried to relax him by stroking his arms, but failed to alleviate the tension. He was getting me really worried.
"Logan what's wrong? Talk to me," I urged calmly, trying to keep the both of us from becoming emotional wrecks. The apprehension he was displaying made me want to hug him tightly but I was at a loss about what I should do.
He finally looked at me and when I saw his face, I honestly wished he hadn't. It ate at my heart to see his facial expression. He looked at me with teary eyes; his face was bright with mortification.
Through clenched teeth he yelled, "Take me home!!! Take me away from here! I already told you, damn it, that I don't want to be here!!!" The sheer volume of his voice caused me to flinch back from him and my world completely tilted off of its axis. I realized Logan was crying.
What the fuck?!
I hated seeing him in such a broken and desolate state, and I knew that if I tried to make any contact with him whatsoever, he would shut down completely. I hated feeling helpless and powerless and seeing him so sad and unable to do anything about it irritated me further.
I turned on the car and sped out of the restaurant's parking lot. My heart was pounding with trepidation at the thought of this evening coming to a disastrous end.
I don't want tonight to end; I don't want this to end. I really don't. I chanted in my head.
I knew Logan was different from the rest of the girls, as he wasn't one, but I didn't think it would matter. Had I known this would be his reaction, I wouldn't have done it. As my heart grew and grew for this lovely person, my sanity was beginning to fall apart.
How could this poor little fool make me feel such a range of emotions? I had self-control, I had charisma... and I had all these things before he came into the picture. Now, it's like any little thing he says makes me immediately surrender my wits and submit to his every whim.
I drove for who knows how long, passing so many streets and avenues along the way that I was certain we were lost. I stopped at an intersection adjacent to a Sonic restaurant. The area seemed familiar, but I wasn't quite sure. A loud growl filled the interior of the car, and had I not known better, I would have thought it was my stomach, but an embarrassed whimper from Logan confirmed otherwise.
"I'm sorry...I'm just really hungry that's all," he told me in a weak voice.
I gave him a small smile and turned into the Sonic drive-in. "I know this isn't typical first date fare, but will you accept dinner from this Sonic drive thru?" I queried as I pulled up to the window; failing to give him adequate time to respond.
I ordered for the both of us; the standard value meal with a side order of tater tots (who wouldn't order Sonic's world-famous tater tots!). I pulled over into the parking lot while our order was being prepped and eventually brought to us.
While we were waiting for our meal, I took the opportunity to psyche myself up to talking to Logan. Though the idea sounded very intriguing, the concept of starting a conversation with Logan was difficult. I didn't know what to say, or how to start the necessary conversation with him. He settled the issue for us.
"I'm sorry about what happened back there. I just want to tell you that I'm not usually like that...someone that bursts into tears over any and every random thing that may bother them."
"It's okay. If you want to talk about it, you can with me." I acquiesced in such a way that he would open up and trust me more. I studied his face while I waited for an answer and could see that he wanted to be more open, but there was something in him, something that he kept to himself, that prevented it.
"I know, it's just that, whatever this may be, it's still kind of new for me and I still need to know why you kissed me." I sighed. So he's still on the whole kissing bit that occurred at his house. When will he give it a break? I mutely thanked God when our order arrived during this intensely awkward standoff. Having food stuffed in our mouths seems to be a heck of a lot better than uncomfortable silence.
"Dig in!" I exclaimed as I popped tater tots into my mouth. I glanced at Logan and he seemed to be enjoying the food as well. I kind of admired his way of eating each tater tot one by one followed by a big sip of his soft drink. I then fought the urge to find out how his mouth tasted right then.
Everything was going smoothly, his question forgotten and a Panic! At the Disco song was ending as I left the car to go to the bathroom. I told Logan where I was going and quickly dashed off to relieve myself.
When I opened the door to the men's stall, it hit me like a bulldozer. This was the exact same place I took Audrey on our first date. Huh! The coincidental irony was so kicking me in the ass right now.
The remembrance of that night was reaffirmed when I saw the carving I made reading BRENDAN + AUDREY '08 on the inside of the stall door. The memories of that date haunted me and I began thinking about my current relationship, or lack thereof, with Audrey. Was it really over? Is this just a phase that high school couples generally go through? These two questions floated around in my head like a specter as I relieved myself. I couldn't ask for a better thinking place!
Unfortunately, those questions remained unanswered and they followed me to the sink and out the door as I scurried back to my car. Note to self: don't ever go to a Sonic drive-thru in the dead of winter.
I slowed my pace and decided to pull a surprise sneak attack on Logan. I could see that he was lost deep in thought and I noiselessly opened the door and virtually bounded inside. He jumped, in mid tater munch, his cheeks flaming in the process. I couldn't help but laugh for a brief moment.
"Sorry dude couldn't help it." I added as soon as my laughter died down. I almost had a heart attack of my own when I heard the next song beginning to play on the stereo. My heart skipped, my breathing faltered and almost came to a crushing halt as my eyes went wide. The song This Guy's in Love with You by Herb Alpert was playing. It was the same song I sang to Audrey, plus the countless other girls I had the fortune to spend the time with, and this time instead of trying to get into her pants I was trying to earn a spot in Logan's heart. I was given a one in a million chance, and I was going to take it. This song conveyed exactly what I wanted to tell Logan and more.
"You say this guy, this guy's in love with you." I think my heart stopped and I literally died inside when I heard Brendan sing in perfect harmony with the artist blasting through the speakers.
What the FUCK?!? I was stunned that Brendan had a remarkably nice singing voice.
"I've heard some talk; they say you think I'm fine." He continued unabashed.
I couldn't believe it but I actually felt myself blushing to that last part. Yes, I agreed in my mind, I do say that you are fine and so much more. I wanted to tell him so much more. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that I wanted to be his and only his. I felt my eyes tear up, he was just that good.
"Tell me now, is it so, don't let me be the last to know." He looked at me square in the eyes, his azure orbs burned bright and stared right at me. That was it. What little bit of modesty I had left was completely thrown out the window and caution wasn't too far behind. I guess I got caught up in the moment and I blurted out, "I love you Brendan."
He abruptly stopped singing, his eyes though held me captive, pinned to the seat. He didn't say anything. I didn't either. I saw everything in his eyes, in the wide smile that adorned his face. They both told me that 'This is it; it's for all the marbles'...
I don't know who started it, but our mouths intertwined. His full lips began a full on attack on my mouth. I counterattacked with my hands groping and feeling every hard muscle I could find. I clung to his shoulders like a spider monkey. Who knew sucking that marvelous tongue of his would be so arousing?
"I love you Brendan."
I really didn't know how many times I repeated it; I lost count at twelve every time we stopped kissing. He suddenly seemed to have found a new source of energy and kissed me with raging passion. Damn! The things I would do for this beautiful man.
"I love you...so much." I whimpered.
He stopped kissing me and stared at me with wide-eyed wonder. He backed away slowly still looking at me like I was some sort of apparition. As the silence stretched, I began to feel self-conscious.
Damn! I knew doing this was such a bad idea. My mind screamed, giving my heart enough of a kick for me to clutch my chest. What the hell was I thinking coming here? Every shred of self-esteem I once had faded and I began to hate myself.
The single ray of light that had once shone brightly in my mind, that Brendan would fall for me, grew so dim it almost flickered and died. My rational side berated me and declared: Ha! Fat chance, you really think Brendan of all people would fall for your poor ass!
I was red with embarrassment and mortification. I couldn't even look him in the eye.
He noticed how discomfited I was. The atmosphere in the car went from sheer embarrassment to pure awkwardness. It was his turn to blush.
"Ummm...I just needed to catch...my breath...I was feeling kinda flustered." His face lit up like a very bad sunburn. It was...adorable!! The way he said it made it seem more apologetic than anything. "It's okay." Just then, People by Barbra Streisand came on the stereo.
"Okay, I have to ask," I quickly changed the topic with a little chuckle. "Where did you find out about this beautiful music?" I mean his playlist left me a little flabbergasted. Certainly a kid who's on the rugby team wouldn't know any Barbra Streisand songs, or anything about Barbra Streisand at all.
He shrugged and the flush of cheeks didn't fade. "I didn't mean to make you blush, it's just... I wondered how a guy like you would know anything about Streisand let alone Herb Alpert and be able to sing along so perfectly, too. It's like you are totally from a different planet or something. You're just so... so perfect in so many ways." I hoped he took what I just gushed about as a compliment, and not as sucking up so he would kiss me again.
"Thanks. I take that as a compliment...I guess." "No seriously, I really didn't picture you as musically diverse to be honest. It's really shocking to say the least." I continued. He smirked and pursed his lips.
"Care to comment on how you know all this great music?" I asked as Time of the Season by the Zombies came on, a song that I only knew because my choir teacher made us sing it.
"Well...," he hemmed and I began to wonder if maybe I had overstepped my boundaries by asking about his private life. I gulped as he looked at me nervously.
"My uncle, Daniel, Daniel Klein. Ever since I was little I would call him Uncle Danny. He likes it when I call him Uncle Danny. He's the one that got me into listening to this wonderful music, challenged me actually." His eyes were a little bit sad and his lips held a morbid smile that made my heart cringe. Whoever this Uncle Danny person really meant a lot to Brendan.
"Hey, I'm sorry about bringing him up. If you don't want to talk about him, that's fine. I'll understand." I added letting him know I wasn't going to push.
He responded by giving me a kiss on the nose. "No, I want to...It feels nice to talk to someone about this kind of stuff."
"Well anyway, growing up my parents weren't around as much as I wanted them to be. My dad barely saw me as he had the two hotels to tend to and my mother was barely making it as a child psychologist. Growing up I only had the nannies to talk to and believe me, it was very difficult to have fun with someone who doesn't speak English fluently. That all changed Christmas Eve '96."
"What happened that Christmas Eve?"
"We went to the airport really early that day. I kept asking my mom what for, and I was really becoming a pest. Mind you I was only five. Anyway when we finally got there a man got in the car. I was in no mood to meet anyone so I threw a big ass bitch fit. I threw my toy car at him and gave the guy a cut on the left brow."
"Yeah, my mom yelled at me saying that's no way to treat your uncle. I was stunned to say the least. From that day forward we were like peas and carrots as Forrest Gump would say." We both laughed at the little pun.
"After that we were inseparable, we went everywhere together. Fishing at Lake Michigan, going to Chicago, you name it." He sighed heavily. "He really was a great man. I always counted the days to his every arrival and cherished all the time he was here with me." "Sounds like a really great man."
He snorted. "Great! He was the greatest." He laughed and gave me another kiss on the nose. "When I was 13 I tried to persuade my parents to go visit my uncle over summer break. They were against it and I didn't know why. All they would tell me was that I couldn't go. I was really pissed off and I told Uncle Danny about it. He didn't take it too kindly either but agreed with my parents."