Heather's Halloween House Party

At one point, our host recognized me and with a hug and kiss hello, I secured from him keys for a couple of the bedrooms supposedly in case anyone needed to freshen up. As he began to walk off, I pulled him close and whispered that I had not forgotten what I said and that I would soon have him his French maid. He turned red as I added that he should be calm and collected while talking to her later.

"Just be authoritative, and I'm sure that she will love you," I teased as he walked off.

I then found Heather in her shapeless ghost costume and asked her if she was 100% sure that she wanted Greg. She nodded, but I clarified that she meant she wanted it all: love, marriage, kids, the whole works and she again agreed.

"Okay then, there is no going back," I said and moved away from her, back into the crowd.

A few minutes later I finally noticed Gloria arriving. There was a light rain so she was dropped off at the door while her Greg parked the car. Perfect. As I suspected, her costume was impressive, or, more accurately, her body in that costume was impressive. Perfectly tanned, toned and quite revealing, there was no way that Greg hadn't been thrilled when he saw her in costume.

I hurried over to her with my tray.

"Thank God, you're here, I'm so nervous; I haven't seen Greg in so long." I lied. "I grabbed a tray of these shots; have some with me, please."

Gloria told me that Greg was parking the car as I downed a couple of the lemonade shot glasses and motioned her to the real shots.

"One flaw with an open, free bar is that the shots aren't strong at all," I laughed. "Barely any alcohol at all."

Gloria downed one, and I shrugged my soldiers as if to say, "See what I mean."

Within a couple of minutes, she had done 5 or 6 shots with me, also joking about the lack of alcohol, not realizing that hers were actually very strong. Finally, I handed her one of the hurricanes and asked her to drink that as it was probably better. She took it and began drinking steadily.

Knowing that I had only a few minutes before the effects of the alcohol hit her and her boyfriend showed up, I leaned in and spoke softly to her. "Will you please do me a big favor?" "Sure," she answered immediately.

I pointed to the other Greg, the party host, and whispered that he had been flirting pretty heavily with me and that I wanted to go freshen up before seeing my cousin. I asked her to please go flirt with him a while and to distract him while I made my way out of the room.

"Easy," she answered and began walking toward him.

As soon as she was out of hearing range, I located one of the photographers and asked him to please get plenty of shots of my "friend" Gloria with the owner. He agreed and began taking pictures of her approaching him. I'd love to see those pictures someday as the plan went beautifully, Gloria, in a stunning French maid costume approaching this guy who thought she was absolutely gorgeous, and her flirting appeared to be similar to mine, meaning that he was certain to get the message.

As I was watching this develop, I noticed that the other Greg had entered the room. I approached him, as though I worked there and offered him a few shots. I went through the same points about the lack of alcohol, as he did a few, but then he noticed Gloria. She now was against the other Greg, twirling his hair in her fingers. (I could tell that the alcohol was hitting her because it was much more obvious flirting than a sober person would usually do)

"Don't interrupt her, please." I said.

"You know she is with me?" he asked. I nodded and he continued, "Why the hell not?"

"Well, I'm not supposed to say?" I responded.

"You better tell me!" he said, getting upset.

"Fine," I uttered as though I'd given up, "But you better act surprised."

He now looked at me confused.

I continued, "That's the owner of the place, and she told me that she was going to try to get him to give her a private room so that you two can, well..."

I did not need to finish as he began to smile. I told him it would be best if he was in a different room while Gloria was flirting, and he agreed, so we headed toward the bar area and I lost track of how many of the shots Greg did.

Once he was out of site, I went to rescue Gloria, luring her away with another hurricane. She was now stumbling a bit so I easily convinced her that she should lie down and rest for a bit in one of the bedrooms. As I helped her up the stairs, I mentioned that I had seen my cousin and that he had gone on and on about how perfect Gloria was. I let slip how disappointed that he would probably be with her not wanting to have sex while she was in that outfit.

She drunkenly insisted that she was going to and that she was ready now. By now we had reached the room and I had her scribble a note that said, "Greg, I'm in the first bedroom up the stairs; come take me now!"

I had hoped for a little more romance, but it would work. I told her that it was sloppy and to write it again, which she did. I turned out the lights and left her on the bed. I practically ran down the stairs and grabbed the non-boyfriend Greg, with whom she had been flirting recently. I handed him one of the notes, and he stared at it like a deer in headlights. I took his arm and began walking him toward the stairs.

"Greg, she wants you so badly, please don't mess this up." I said.

He asked what I meant, and I said that normally guys say something stupid that kills the mood. I convinced him to go into the room and make love to her without ever speaking. If she says anything, you just ignore and kiss her mouth. As we reached the door, I added that she had a migraine and that, for the love of God, don't turn on any lights. He nodded as I knocked.

"And most importantly, don't jump up and do anything when you are done. You lie there with her and stroke her gently and let her doze off, understand?" Those were my final instructions.

"Gloria, it's me," I said through the door (making sure she was awake). "I got Greg for you. He's coming in; I'm heading back to the party."

"Greg, please come in and take me," I heard her say as he entered the room. I remained there for a moment and heard Gloria telling him that she knew about his fantasies and started describing the French maid outfit.

"Rub your hands up these silk stockings, oh yes! Think about me and my tits falling out; here, honey, suck this one, hmmmm."

I had faith that Greg wouldn't mess this up so I went back to the party and found Heather. I walked her to the stairs and told her that it was show time. I helped her get out of her ghost sheet, and she emerged, looking stunning, every bit as beautiful as Gloria, but somehow more real, more pure, even though they were both in virtually the same costume.

I turned on a strobe light that had been set up in the hall for the occasion and positioned Heather with a key outside of one of the bedrooms. I told her to stand there until she saw Greg coming up the stairs, and then, to make sure he noticed her and open the door and disappear inside. I made her promise to not speak or turn on lights. The reason I gave for this bizarre instruction was that his fantasy of the perfect French maid would be much more powerful than the actual would be. If she could tap into his primal release then he would be hers forever.

After gaining her agreement, I left her in the doorway and ran to find her Greg. I showed him the other note (careful not to hand it to him) and pointed to the stairs. He practically bounded over there, and I followed from a slight distance. As I reached the top of the stairs, I saw him enter Heather's room. (It wasn't the first door, as the note said, but I knew that he would follow the costume if he saw it as he climbed the stairs. He also didn't notice that it wasn't Gloria, as when a guy sees a woman in lingerie, he doesn't immediately look to her face.)

I then went back to the party and discretely made sure that it got around that Gloria was sleeping with the venue owner so that the bar stayed open for them. Although the second part of the story wasn't true, the story spread like wildfire and was soon accepted as fact.

I waited an hour or so and called a taxi. It soon arrived, and I went up to Heather's room and knocked loudly.

"Yes," she called out.

I used my key and entered the room, flipping on a light.

"Congratulations you two," I announced as they clinched their eyes closed. "Heather and Greg, you won tonight's grand prize! You are going to Cancun for four days and three nights."

Greg's eyes opened and shot to Heather as he tried to comprehend what was going on.

I gave a big cheerleader grin and said, "Come on, get moving, the taxi is here to take you to the airport."

"What? Now?" Greg asked. "I don't think I can."

I looked at Heather and darted my eyes to the bathroom which led her to gather her clothes and go in there. When she got in there, she found that I had placed a bag there with some clothes in it, as she couldn't fly to Cancun in a French maid costume. (Though I'm sure the airport security guys would love to search her in costume)

When she left the room, Greg looked at me and explained, "Look, I came here with my girlfriend."

I nodded. "But that' not her," he said glancing at the bathroom door.

"I know Greg; she is your ex." I spoke.

"How did you know that?" he asked.

"Silly boy," I answered, "You told me."

As a puzzled look crossed his face, I continued, "How many of those shots did you have? Let me refresh your memory. Greg, you came with Gloria who immediately began flirting with the owner."

"Yes," he remembered. "To get us a room."

"That's how it started," I agreed, "But then, it started going strong between those two, and they went to a room together. You then went and got Heather and told her that you had made a mistake and wanted to start over, and viola, she graciously took you back and is giving you one last chance."

He remembered none of this so he asked, "How do you know all this?"

"You told me when you entered the Cancun contest, right before you came up here." I explained.

"No," he said, "I got a note... from Gloria to come here."

"Really," I laughed, "That's quite a tale; you're girlfriend gave you a note to come meet your ex. Oh, and she did all this while in bed with another man. How exactly and why did she pull that off?"

"I don't know, but she did," he said, exasperatingly.

"OK, show me the note." I countered.

He looked around the room and through his clothes, but there was no note to be found. He certainly didn't remember that I had just held it up for him to read it, and then discarded it. In his mind, he had received the note.

I walked over to him, held his arms, and thus, him still, and quietly spoke, "Look, Greg, think this through. The woman you came with is in bed with someone else; the woman that you then pledged your love to and begged for one more chance is 15 feet away getting dressed to go to Cancun with you... Now, you obviously don't have to go, but, if you don't, you better be damn sure that you don't want to have Heather in your life because few women give a third chance. You need to decide right now if what you told me about Heather was simply a drunk rambling or was he releasing his true feelings."

After only a brief pause, he said, "I want to go to Cancun with Heather."

I smiled, knocked on the bathroom door and told Heather to hurry. She came out and we all walked through the party where it was announced that they had won and would be going to Cancun together. I handed them the tickets that I had bought and printed out earlier and guided them to the car. The crowd joked that they had no bags, but Heather answered that Cancun had stores, and the crowd cheered as the taxi began to drive them to the airport.

Part 4: The Conclusion

My work was done so I went back home to Atlanta. I was initially a little worried about what would happen when Gloria woke up with the other Greg. I had made sure that the photographers got all of her aggressive flirting on film and that there was written evidence (the note) that she had invited him to her room. All of my concerns were put to rest several months later though when I learned that they had actually gotten married. I truly didn't see that one coming, but in retrospect, I did sort of create Greg's fantasy girl and offer her up to him, and Greg was a successful businessman, though easily manipulated as I proved while renting his place, just the sort of guy that Gloria would want.

When Heather returned from Cancun, she called me and said that it had been wonderful and that she was certain that this was it and that they would get married.

"Great," I responded. "When?"

"We haven't really talked dates yet?" she answered.

"You really should," I said.

"Why?" she asked, "We're enjoying ourselves, just taking some time."

"Because you're pregnant," I answered.

"What on earth are you talking about, Brittany?" she exclaimed.

I explained, "When I was at your apartment, I looked at your birth control pills and counted to the middle of your cycle; that's the date that I made sure we held the party."

"But I've still been taking the pills." She said.

"Actually, you've been taking Claritin." I answered. "You didn't have any allergy issues in Cancun did you?"

"That's not funny, Brittany," she pointed out.

"I know; I'm sorry," I added. "Remember when I asked if you were ready for the entire package: marriage, kids, family?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Well, this is it." I said. "Unless you stayed in separate rooms down there, you've just had a lot of unprotected sex during your five most vulnerable days."

"Wow," she managed to say.

"This may be the final nudge he needs to make everything you wanted come true," I said. "Enjoy family life, Heather."

"Thanks Brittany," she said after a pause, "I know I will."