Her Secret Past Ch. 02

(Note: Thanks to all the kind people who wrote asking me to finish this story. I've wrestled all around with this thing and finally feel like I am starting to win. I have at least one more section to go after this -- I promise I'll get it done faster than this section now that I've figured out where to take it. Drop me a note if you liked this or have constructive criticism.)

Debbie came back two hours later with groceries plus some curtain stuff from one of those 'big box' stores. She called to me and put me to work unloading the car. It was like everything was perfectly normal -- except for the gut wrenching feelings I had every time I looked at my wife.

"Okay," she said as she wrapped up the last of those little plastic grocery bags. "We've both had some time to think about what I said earlier. I want to hear your thoughts, but first I have a couple of things to say. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes. I guess so."

"First, and most importantly, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I pray that we find a way through all of this." She paused and looked at me. I just nodded. "Second, keeping this from you was killing me. I am so scared of what my revelations might do to us, but at the same time I am so relieved to get this out in the open."

"I can see that," I said.

"So, where do we stand?" she asked.

"I don't know. I love you. I've loved you since we met. I don't want things to be messed up either. I guess the bottom line is, you are no different today than two weeks ago. I still love you. I'm surprised, but heck, it is in the past. Whatever you did in the past created this lovely creature I'm married to. I think we'll be fine."

She smiled sadly at me and said, "But the creature you really married isn't what you bargained for. You bought a pig in a poke and it turned out to be an alley cat with low morals."

"Your past doesn't matter. It is our present and future that does." I pulled her into my arms and held her close. "That's all in the past. It doesn't matter."

She stiffened and pulled away. I saw tears forming in her eyes as she said, "But it isn't just the past that I'm talking about. It is the future. Don't you see?"

"Uhhh..." Mouth to brain! Mayday Mayday Mayday! Need immediate intelligent input! "But...I...you..."

Debbie motioned me to the couch and said, "Sit. Let me explain. We have to get the rest of this out in the open." She waited for me to sit back in the couch, then began pacing in front of me as she spoke. "I love our sex life. You are the sweetest, most considerate, passionate lover I've ever had. You make love to me and I love every second of everything we do."

Not a bad start. She tells me I'm a stud. That, out of all of her many partners, I'm the one that does it for her. I started feeling a bit better.

She went on. "Any time we are together, the loving is wonderful. But..." she paused her pacing and turned to face me. "but I think...no...I know I need something else. Something you can't give me."

"But you just said..." I began.

"I just said," she spoke over me, "that you make love to me like no one else. But it isn't a lover I need. What I still crave, what I have tried to deny since we have been together, is fucking. Hot nasty hard fucking. Not loving. I need to have some guy bend me over and ram my pussy with his cock as he slaps my ass crimson. You couldn't do that if you tried. Even if you were to perform the physical act, our love would still be there. Sex between us is sharing and loving no matter what we do. What I also need, have always needed somewhere inside me, is the sex without the love. Just the raw animal lust. It can't be just that with you and me."

How's that for a kick in the balls? I was building up a pretty good head of steam. All of those mixed feelings, the shock, the turmoil of the last week all started to coalesce into one very pissed off person. I went with it. "What in the hell do you mean by that? How's this supposed to work? Will you just take off weekends to go slutting around, or am I supposed to bring you and your lovers breakfast in bed? Oh wait, they aren't lovers are they? No loving here, just nasty sex, right? I guess I should have asked if I was to bring you and your fuckbuddies breakfast in bed." I recognized how mad I was and knew I had to disengage before I said something irretrievable. "Look Debbie, I love you, but I have reached my limit. We gotta stop right here. I'm too pissed off to say anything else. It won't be rational. Hah -- as if anything we've said today was rational. I'm going for a run."

I stormed upstairs and stripped to change into running clothes. I flung my jeans across the room, my shirt flew in the other direction. I threw on some running stuff and hit the road without looking back in at Debbie.

For me, running has always been where I meditate. I don't really think about anything. I just immerse myself in the moment and lose my connection with the rest of the world. Nothing exists but the next few steps. I sometimes get so lost in it I barely know where I am. This was one of those times. I had been out for thirty minutes or so when it started raining. I was only aware of the rain because it cooled me off.

Then, just as I was passing under a large oak next to the road, everything changed. I am told that the lighting hit the tree and then jumped to me. All I know is that one second I was running along and the next I was in the back of an ambulance. A passing motorist saw me go down and it was lucky for me that she knew CPR.

I spent the next 24 hours in and out of groggy consciousness. They must have gotten Debbie's number from me at some point. All I know is than when I finally really woke up and was alert, she was there holding my hand.

She hadn't left my side the whole time I was all fuzzed out. Once she realized I was really awake and alert, I got the waterworks. She cried and we hugged tightly. Both of us taking comfort in the contact with our soul mate. She eventually got control of the crying and we had a brief moment to talk before the doctor came in.

"I was so scared," she said. "I thought I had really lost you. I knew you went out to run so you could calm down and settle your thoughts and I was apprehensive about that, but then the hospital called. I don't want to live without you. Whatever that takes."

"I'm not leaving you. It will take more than a lightning strike to drive me off woman. We have things to work out -- adjustments to make. We have some serious issues to deal with, but there is no way we won't be together."

That is when the doctor came in. He explained that I needed a day or two more hospitalization to be sure that my EKG was all settled out. He went on to explain that some lightning victims suffer from problems that pop up later -- sleep disorders, moodiness, etc. and gave us contact information for a local doctor that had treated several other strike victims.

I went back to work a week later. The other side effects never seemed to pop up for me. There was just the initial zap that kinda rebooted my brain and stopped my heart for a bit. Debbie and I had not raised the issues that led to me going for a run during that week. We just spent the time close and being thankful that we still had each other.

There were moments, though, that I would look at her and not see the loving little doll of a wife I had. I would see her as the wanton slut she had described her previous self to be. At first this really bothered me, later though, the mental pictures started. I saw her doing some of the nasty things she had told me about. I'd play it in my mind and would find myself with a hard cock. That was a bit confusing.

The first time we had sex once I got home was a case in point. We started out like normal. We went to bed a bit early and started cuddling. It slowly escalated to kissing and touching. From there, we moved to sucking and fucking. It was while I was between Debbie's legs pushing myself into her tight pussy that I had a flashback to what she had told me. I started pumping faster as I thought about her fucking groups of men. Before long, I was really moving fast and our bodies were slapping hard into one another.

I was pulled from my internal fantasy by Debbie's voice. She rarely ever spoke when we had sex. Suddenly here, she was moaning loudly and saying, "Fuck me, Fuck me. Do it to me," over and over. Her words and wanton tone carried me up a notch. It didn't take long for me to start cumming into her pussy.

She whimpered and kept moving as I froze and came. When I finished, I slipped out of her. She was clearly unsatisfied. Her hand stole between us and she started stroking herself as I watched. I'd never seen her do this before. It was an incredible sight. My doll of a wife frantically frigging herself with one hand and squeezing her taught little tits with the other. I leaned forward and started nibbling on one of her tits. She sighed and pushed into me.

I slipped a hand down and let my fingers ride hers as she touched herself. It was an amazing way to share the intimate act of self satisfaction. I felt every move of her fingers as she stroked her clit and rubbed her pussy lips. After a little bit of this, our hands traded places. She started frigging herself with my fingers. I felt the extra wetness of my come all over her pussy. It was hard to believe how slick and wet she was. As I felt her tensing up as she started to cum, she pulled her hand off of mine and was actually licking our juices off of her fingers. Her hand stole back and forth between her pussy and her mouth as she had either one long orgasm or several short ones on top of each other.

Finally, she pulled my hand off of her pussy and licked my fingers clean. This whole activity was something new for us in bed. I was re-energized and hard again. She was looking me in the eye as she sucked on my fingers, slowly licking my cum and her juices from them. Then she just moved down and started sucking my cock. It was unlike any blowjob I'd ever had. She sucked me all the way in until her lips were against my pubic bone. When she would lift off of me to breathe, she would spit on my cock and then lick the spit as it slid down. I didn't last long in spite of having just cum. This was a whole new kind of sex to me.

The Friday after I returned to work, Debbie called me and told me that we were going out for dinner and said that she had already made dinner reservations. She would meet me at the restaurant. I didn't think much about it. We did this a couple of times a month. She'd drive from her office out by Dulles to where I worked in Mclean while it seemed like most of the world was headed the other way on the local highways. After dinner we'd both drive home after the rolling parking lot of I-66 emptied out a bit.

We met in the parking lot of a nice little Italian place. There wasn't a crowd and we were quickly seated. Debbie wanted wine so I ordered us both some. Between the wine and the quiet atmosphere, I was feeling pretty mellow and very into my lovely wife. She was wearing a black skirt and a white blouse with some lace trim that she had dressed up with a scarf I bought for her when I was in Beijing a few years back. She looked classy and sexy. I was proud to be there with her.

That is when Debbie locked eyes with me and said, "I think the time has come to talk more about my past and...well the desires I told you about."

"Here?" I responded.

"I want us to stretch our boundaries. We need to play and loosen up. I want more for us."

"And by 'more' do you mean more of what you were doing before we met?" I asked hesitantly.

"Some. Maybe not the extreme stuff, but I still want more. I don't want to push you into something you don't want, though. All you have to do is tell me you are uncomfortable with something and I'll stop. I'm hoping that we can both grow and learn here." She looked up at me with heat in her eyes,"Maybe we can find some of your kinks and satisfy them."

I thought that through. "Why not tell me about it ahead of time. That way we can avoid the situation rather than having me stop something once I'm uncomfortable."

She looked at me and slowly unbuttoned the button between her breasts. Now her shirt was open from her neck to beneath her pretty little tits. She was braless, so if she were to twist or lean forward, the shirt would gap open and her intimate flesh would be exposed. "Silly. If you had to approve things ahead of time your natural conservatism would stop us before we start. This way, you can enjoy things being a bit out of control."

With that she raised her arm and signaled the waiter over for more water. While he was pouring, she leaned over and deliberately opened her shirt enough to expose herself to him. Her eyes were on me as she did it. Fortunately, the waiter managed not to spill too much water. I felt a tingle somewhere between my lungs and stomach.

When he left she asked, "Did you enjoy that?"

I had actually. I found it thrilling in a strange way. I noticed my cock jump in my pants. "Well, it was different," I prevaricated.

Debbie smiled. She knew me well enough to understand that I had enjoyed it, but wasn't ready to admit it. "I think we can find ways to have some of the fun I need without straining our relationship too much. Especially if we can find you some thrills along the way."

"That might be interesting. I...I'm willing to try. Baby steps darling. Let's not go to the dungeon for an orgy tomorrow. Also, at any point on this exploration, either of us can stop everything. We need to be able to put on the brakes and talk. I don't want things getting to the point of permanent damage. We should be able to stop and talk whenever one of us needs it. We...I may need some breathing room. Time to adjust and recover. And, of paramount importance to me, time for just us to be the normal loving people we were before I...before we..."

Debbie smiled and said, "Yes. I need that too. We need to take our baby steps." She paused, then laughed, "Baby steps...'What About Bob?', right?"

I laughed too. "Yep." It warmed me to know that the fun girl I married was still there.

Debbie and I placed our orders with our waiter. I could see that he was careful to stand and hold his pad in such a way as to be able to enjoy the view that Debbie was providing. I enjoyed a guilty rush watching the interaction.

While we waited for our salads, Debbie said, " You remember much from the night you came home early and communed with John Barleycorn?"

"Yeah...I got pretty trashed."

"You never asked where I had been."

That got my full and complete attention. The big zap hadn't wiped my memory of that night completely. I still remembered her shapely legs and that tight knit top she was wearing when she helped me to bed. Suddenly, I put together the implications that I missed between being drunk that night and then all the various excitement the following day.

My casual erotic daydreams inspired by the nasty sex my wife had before we met and the desires for it that she had recently confessed to me rose up. Had she been out behind some bar pulling a train of random strangers? Had she been out to some hotel bar to pick up some visiting businessman? The possibilities had an enormous reaction on me. I felt like a herd of butterflies was stampeding through my abdomen and chest. The nerves in my crotch tingled momentarily, then I felt crushing sorrow. There was guilt, anger, excitement, lust, and fear all mixed up together. It was an almost unbearable combination of feelings and emotions.

I took a deep breath to get back in control of myself. Then I met Debbie's eyes and said, "Uhm, with all that happened the next day, I guess I had kind of pushed that out."

We were sitting beside each other in a smallish horseshoe shaped booth. She reached to hold my hand. "Honey, I need to tell you about that night."

Bang! All of those emotions just doubled in intensity. My breath froze...maybe it was my lungs that froze. I just sat there.

"I had been thinking about what you did with that little tart at work and worked myself up to deciding on a little revenge. I went..."

That was the moment the damn waiter came by with our salads. I almost throttled him. It was all I could do to sit there without moving while he went through the cracked pepper routine that people seem to love. I was tempted to take that pepper grinder and bounce off of his skull. When he finally finished, after what was to me a subjective week of emotional hell, I said to Debbie, "Please go on," in as calm a voice as I could muster.

She picked up, "I went out. I went to a club I had heard of at work. It is a fairly well known 'meat market' type of place. I went with the thought of grabbing some guy and fucking his brains out."

"I guess...I guess after what I did..." I began.

She cut me off, "No. What I set out to do was wrong. Two wrongs definitely don't make a right. I came to that realization over the course of that evening. I know you are worried, but don't be. Nothing happened. Well...nothing much happened."

"Huh? What is nothing much?" I asked.

"Well, my clothes never came off. I didn't leave the bar with anyone. No one's hands successfully got inside my clothes and I touched no skin other than a couple of hands."

Whew! Relief coursed through me. I laughed at myself for getting so very worked up. "I guess it would have been hard for much of anything to have happened, considering those restrictions."

"You think so?" she asked archly as she began eating her salad.

"Well yeah. In a public place. Clothes on. No hands or anything else up the skirt or in the fly. Not much left honey." I was so innocent. I dug into my salad.

"So...it would be OK with you if I went out and kept to that standard?" she asked as she thumbed a bit of dressing from the corner of her mouth.

Relief had dumbed me and numbed me. I didn't hear the overtones in her voice when she asked that. "Sure," I said, "Why not?"

Debbie had another bite of salad. Then she reached her left hand on to my right leg just above the knee. As she slowly stroked from my knee to mid thigh and back, she leaned over and breathily whispered into my ear, "Did I tell you how Linda Johnson took my cherry with a strapon dildo? Mmmmm. She waited until I was 18 for that. I wanted it before, but she made me wait. I had already been to bed with her and Larry, but actual penetration was off limits. Finally though, she kept me home from school on my 18th birthday. She took me into her bedroom and stripped me naked. Then we kissed. Her lips and mine sliding and touching. Her tongue in my mouth. My tongue exploring her lips and then probing deep into her mouth. It was so hot. Then Linda started nibbling my titties. It was like there were wires from them into my pussy. I was on the edge of cumming when she finally went down on me and made me cum so fast. It only took a couple of swipes of her mouth on my little clit and bang I was off like a string of firecrackers. It was sooo good."

Debbie's hand was slowly stroking higher up my leg as she talked. She was squirming a lot in her seat, but I wasn't really paying attention to that.

"While I was lying there trying to catch my breath from the incredible orgasms she had given me with her mouth, she slipped on these leather panties with a big black dildo sticking out."

Her hand reached my crotch for just a moment then moved back down my thigh. She squirmed in her seat a bit then moved and crossed her legs and squeezed them together. She leaned back towards me and touched my ear momentarily with her tongue.

"It wasn't really black. It was realistically brown, with heavy veins and a magnificent crown on it. Linda climbed between my legs and we spent a few minutes kissing going from slow and sweet to hot and nasty. I could feel the dildo, my first cock, pressed between us as we kissed."