Herc Manly and the Diplo Mission

And at the critical moment, when the Queens entire body was shaking in a fever pitch, Pussy hit the injecto button, and the vibroDildo laid a massive load of Herc sperms into the new Queens. She was moaning with the pleasure and the joy of fulfilling her duty.

When suddenly.... eight arms, each with a huge claw at the end, suddenly appeared from the Queens body, grabbing the beefo carcass in a death grip. That little talkie mouth of the Queens was suddenly amazingly large, and filled with sharklike teeth that began to crunch away at the beefo.

Which would have been ME had Pussy not intervened!

Needless to say, Pussy and I grabbed the vibroDildo, and got out of there, lest the Queens should decide to have a three-course meal!

And that was the last time either Pussy or I ever saw the Queens of the Grubvolk face to face. Thank the Greater Being.

Epilog

Pussy and I didn't leave Grubvolk immediately.

I was a hero, by acclamation of the Grubvolk Assembly, the true Father of his Country. And Pussy was celebrated far and wide, for it turned out, by collecting my juice from multiple orgasms and injecting them into the Queens at one time, the Grubvolk scientists estimated that they wouldn't need to get a new Queens for at least 20 years, a great savings for the society. Not to mention, that the new Queens found that she had something of a taste for beefo, so she could be protein enhanced without the SpacNav making a humo sacrifice.

In addition, I was awarded a free transporter load of goldenSweet per solYear for the rest of my life by the grateful people of Grubvolk (each load enough to make me a small fortune.) I was also guaranteed a lifetime supply of Cestowiski for my brave and noble services. Medals. honors, money — what more could a spacer want?

And if my ego needed any more of a boost, before we left for home, Pussy and I were able to see the first Herc/Grubvolk clones produced by the new Queens. 'Handsome little devils,' I thought, looking at my own baby face staring back at me from the infantHolders.

Pussy was curious, though. She asked some of the scientists responsible for the breeding and genetics.

How, she wondered, did the Grubvolk with 128 chromosomes, use humo genetic materials with 23 paired chromosomes to have children?

Oh simple, the geneticists told her, they had perfected the science of multi-type genetic matching generations ago. Pussy casually mentioned that XoXoDacks had 84 chromosomes. Could they match XoXoDack DNA with humo DNA?

Absolutely, she was told; a piece of cake.

A little more collecting of genetic material from me on the sly, which somehow Pussy didn't remember to tell me about. But when we left in our goldenSweet filled transporter for home, Pussy's real treasure was held in a thermoCool container. All that was needed was for some roboDoc to implant a few of the fertileEgg materials in one of Pussy's Uterii, and there would be some little Herc's and Pussy's running around. Pussy figured that the trip home would give her the time to convince me to modify our contract to accept new units. When have I ever said 'no' to that fem!

Pussy and I had a lot to do and talk about on the way home.

Pussy, first and foremost, explained to me about using the XoXoDackian Torture by Pleasure on Admiral Limbdirk. She pointed out to me, that saving me from being eaten alive would qualify as an 'emergency' under the terms of our contract. So Pussy wasn't really violating the contract, even as amended, by sexing the intel/info out of ol' Limpdick.

I agreed, and in fact I got a kick out of Pussy comparing my large and turgid and handsome member, to Limbdirk's puny, weak, little stub. Pussy praised my extensive sexual experience, contrasting it with Limpdick's virginal ignorance.

I didn't hold Pussy's torture by pleasure as a contract violation, but we also agreed that the injection of my vital fluids into the Queens didn't count as one of my 14 free passes to have outside sex. I don't think Pussy cared. Her plan remained that I wouldn't ever use the free passes: I would be too drained and exhausted by her. She made sure of it all the way home. I could barely walk, my reproRod was so swollen from overuse by the time we docked at our home S'Port.

We also took a little side trip to Pussy's home planet of XoXoDack. Pussy, at last, was able to introduce her parents to the love of her life: me, the famed Hercules Manly! She did put her foot down when her mother and three sisters wanted to take me for a short test ride. She made sure she never left my side. She knew better than to trust those SLUTS!

Another benefit of going a bit out of their way to XoXoDack was that XoXoDackians were the galaxies largest per capita users of goldenSweet, and the price on XoXoDack was the highest in the known systems. Pussy even managed a few cute little financial maneuvers that avoided the taxes that we would be expected to pay if we had sold the goldenSweet at home.

The single greatest worry that we shared was, that Pussy would be in big trouble when she got back to the home planet for her treatment of Admiral Limbdirk. So while on XoXoDack, we tracked down a rumor that Pussy had heard...

Finally, back on home terrafirma, in our own little abodeUnit, Pussy and I started again to take that solStandard vacation to rest up from our adventures. Sleeping on our own aeroLiftsU mattress, watching our own stereoVid, sexing each other eight or ten times a day. Just relaxing.

When the front ingress/egress alert chimed.

There at the door, I could see through the peekOut, stood Admiral Limbdirk's boss in the SpacNav, Vice Admiral Bigherdick.

I invited him in, and we sat down in the formalVisit room.

"Manly," stated Bigherdick in a booming voice, "I am here to thank you for your great service to the SpacNav, and congratulate you on a job, well done."

"Thanks you, Sir. Think nothing of it. It was a pleasure." I replied, feeling rather self-satisfied.

"Don't know how you came back alive. Did Limbdirk tell you it was a suicide mission before you volunteered?" he queried.

"Oh that! Some of us expect danger in every mission! Its all in a days work." I answered, looking modestly at my fingernails, polishing them on my shirt.

"Yes, of course, of course. We can only admire your fortitude in taking on the toughest tasks." Bigherdick said graciously.

"By the way, on another subject, would you by any chance know where Admiral Limbdirk might be? We thought that since you and he were working so closely together, that you might have some idea." came the Admiral's query.

"Not a clue Admiral, not a clue. I was either in deep space or on Grubvolk most of the time," I mentioned, providing myself with an alibi.

The Admiral said his goodbyes, and as he left and I closed the hatch behind him, I had to smile.

The rumor that Pussy and I had tracked down on XoXoDack was that there was a certain SpacNav Admiral who had gone AWOL, and was now playing the 88-Key in a XoXoDack bordello. It seems he had hitched a ride on a spacer to XoXoDack after someone had exposed him to 'torture by pleasure'. I understand that every night, after closing, Limbdirk was getting his 'torture by pleasure,' from whichever XoXoDackian fem wanted to have some fun watching the old humo beg and plead!

You can never go back!

A tip of the hat to Harry Harrison's 'Stainless Steel Rat' series, Keith Laumer's 'Ratief', Cedric Brown's 'Martians Go Home', and all of the other Sci-Fi writers who have amused us with their tongue's planted firmly in their cheeks!