Hey Jude

I had been thinking about it for some time. I was in upper management at my company. My salary was six figures and I was enjoying the fruits of many years of hard work and dedication to my job. My only problem was my wife, Judy.

We would be celebrating 25 years of marriage soon. She was a beautiful girl when we met. Her figure was absolutely incredible! She was smart, energetic, supportive, loving and faithful. In short, Judy was the perfect wife. That was then and this is now.

After two wonderful children and 25 years of marriage, she had gained some weight. She also had become quite boring. Who wants to hear about soap operas and those damn reality TV shows? I had outgrown Judy in every way possible. I was reluctant to take her to company events and dinners. I needed a wife that brought looks of appreciation, and even envy, from the other executives, not pity.

I was only a few years from my fiftieth birthday and I wanted, no, I needed to position myself for my peak earning years and then retirement. I needed a woman that I could be proud to escort to dinners and other social activities. I needed a woman that understood how difficult business is, and could help me achieve my lofty goals. In short, Judy was holding me back. Most of the other men in upper management in my company had shed their first wife and had married younger, sexier women that were more appropriate for men of position and power. It was time for me to make some difficult decisions.

I don't know when the idea actually crystallized. I had been considering my options for almost a year. I didn't want to appear to be the insensitive, self-centered bastard that tossed out his wife, the mother of his children, to find a hot, young nymph. I had to find a way to justify my actions. I needed to look like the victim and not some kind of monster.

There were many reasons for me to be cautious. Judy had been a wonderful mother to our kids and I didn't want to alienate them. Then there was the fact that my aging parents seemed to love Judy more than they did me. The few times Judy and I had real marital discord, my mother would chew me a new asshole and stick up for Judy! How can mothers forget who their children are?

Both my sisters were Judy's best friends and Judy's brother was my golf partner. He was a great guy, but he was big and he thought the world of his baby sister. These were some of the things I was up against.

I realized that the only way to escape my marriage with any semblance of harmony with my family was to prove that Judy was unfaithful to me. That would make my position stronger, although I suspected my mother would probably still tell me I must have a needle dick and Judy was right to look for a real man.

Once I decided that I had to prove Judy was having an affair, it followed that it was necessary for it to happen. That was not an easy task! I was certain she had always been totally faithful to me. I would sooner bet on peace in Iraq than Judy breaking her marriage vows. Judy was, by nature, a very loyal loving woman.

Early in our marriage, I noticed how men looked at Judy. She was extremely desirable to any man with eyes. I needed to protect my interests concerning my wife. I talked Judy into starting a family right away while I worked to support us. Judy made a great mother and talking her into that was not overly difficult. As the kids grew, I convinced her that she was needed by them as a full time mother.

Even then, she was still a beautiful and very desirable woman. Having two children had only served to make her more voluptuous. If I allowed Judy to enter the work force, men would be constantly making attempts at seducing her. Of that, I had no doubt.

The kids were grown now. Our daughter graduated college with an accounting degree and our son was in his last year. He was already putting out applications for employment in his field of engineering. I was extremely proud of how my children had turned out and attributed much of their success to Judy's constant attention and love.

Our nest was empty and Judy had begun to add the weight when the kids graduated high school and left for college. She was bored and turned to eating to fill her time. She began to spend more and more time watching television and eating snacks. She never told me, but my guess is that she added forty or more pounds in a two-year stretch. Her tits were bigger than ever, but so were her ass and thighs. She was self-conscious about her weight and never used our pool any more.

How could I get her interested in having an affair if she was so ashamed of her figure? Where could she even meet men that might be interested? Not in front of the television! My plan gradually took form. The very reasons that I kept Judy close to home for so many years were the very reasons I was going to push her out into society!

"Dear, I've noticed that you seem bored around the house lately," I began. "I think you would be happier if you found some sort of employment. Even a part time job would generate some interesting moments and relieve some of your boredom."

"Jason! You could be a mind reader," grinned Judy. "I've been thinking about getting a job for some time, but I didn't know how to bring it up to you. You never wanted me to work outside our home. I was afraid I would upset you if I suggested I get a job of some kind."

"I just wanted you to be there when the kids needed you, Judy. They are grown and gone and we need to think about your needs," I replied smoothly. "Why don't you start checking web sites and classifieds to see what is out there?"

"To be honest, Jason, I have already been doing exactly that. I have a few ideas in mind. I don't want to get my hopes too high, but I'm sure I can find something that will fit into our schedule. I don't want to steal time I spend with you, Sweetheart," Judy added.

I silently congratulated myself on how cleverly I had planted the seed. The hardest thing was having the patience to make my plan work. I knew it could be a year or more before the whole thing came to fruition. I knew it would be a long year, but I had to find the discipline to stay the course.

It was just three days later that Judy broke the news to me at dinner.

"Jason, I've found a position I like!" blurted Judy as she worked on her second pork chop.

"Doggie-style, as I well know, Judy. That really isn't news, however, unless it's with the mailman," I joked.

I thought Judy was going to choke on her mashed potatoes as she struggled to breathe.

"Don't make jokes while I'm eating!" laughed Judy. "Actually it was the UPS guy and if he hadn't shown me how it's done, I wouldn't have believed it was even possible. The difficult part is keeping the goat from eating the whipped cream and the cucumbers, at least before he's supposed to eat them!"

I mulled that retort over for a moment, pretending to consider the possibilities as Judy watched my face.

"You know I'm not that fond of whipped cream. What you don't know about is my rather strong attraction to goats," I grinned. "I'm afraid the UPS man, well intentioned as he may have been, has presented a situation I must decline."

"I told him that you liked most farm animals far too well to feel comfortable with the position he so kindly showed me," nodded Judy. "He promised the next swing through the neighborhood he'd have some honey, carrots, and a Doberman. Dogs don't like sweets or vegetables, so I don't see how it would work. In the spirit of expanding my abilities to please my husband, I agreed to try his alternatives with him."

"Good girl!" I praised. "This sounds like something I'd be interested in. "Would I be correct in thinking that in this new scenario, I would be taking the place of the goat, and the Doberman would be assuming my place?"

"You've done this before?" chuckled Judy. "Damn, I thought I had found something new!"

"I would expect there isn't a husband on the block that hasn't done the old 'Ho-Dobie-Carrot' trick a few times," I answered.

"Jason, it is so hard to be serious with you! I've found a job!" laughed Judy. "I'm starting real estate classes next week. Sam Gault, of Sam Gault Real Estate, is sponsoring me. In a few weeks I'll be a licensed real estate professional!"

I should have felt pleased with the news. Sam Gault was not only the most successful real estate broker in the area, he was also known far and wide as a real pussy hound. He'd probably bang Judy like a screen door! Somehow that thought made my stomach turn.

"I know all about his success with the ladies, Jason. I saw you scowl when I mentioned his name. You never have to worry about me. I can take care of myself. Besides, he'd never want an old cow like me."

"He'd fuck a snake if he could get his head under the rock!" I retorted. "He'd have no qualms about fucking you or any other cow that gets in his pasture!"

Judy jumped up and ran to the bedroom and slammed the door. It occurred to me that I had made a couple blunders. I had more or less agreed with her assessment that she was a cow and I had protested her involvement with Sam Gault. He fit into my scheme better than any other man in the entire Poconos! I would have to work on my natural tendency to be possessive and jealous. Would that bastard fuck my wife? Was she too chubby for him? Who did he think he was, refusing to fuck Judy? I realized I was jumping the gun and decided it was time to step up the game.

I went into the bedroom and found Judy crying with her head buried in the pillow. I sat down on the bed and began to rub her shoulders.

"Judy, I'm a jackass! We were having a great time and I stupidly ruined it. I promise I'll never suggest that your relationship with Sam Gault is anything less than professional," I avowed. "I trust you completely and will never let you see any form of jealousy from me, ever again."

"That didn't hurt nearly as much as when you agreed I was a cow!" wailed Judy. "I'm just a fat, middle-aged housewife. Why am I trying to kid myself by getting a job in sales? People don't buy from pigs. I should settle for something more appropriate for an old cow!"

"If that is the problem, let's solve it, not bitch and moan about it," I proposed as I rubbed Judy's ample ass. "Tomorrow I'll sign us both up at Silver's Gym. We'll get into shape together. Hell, if you lose a few pounds but keep those tits, you'll have male clients eating out of your bra.... I mean hands."

"You'd be willing to join and go with me?" sobbed Judy into her pillow.

I had been thinking I needed to shape up so I could find a really hot fox when I was single again. Judy needed to lose enough to make some guy want to fuck her brains out, so it was a win-win situation. I marveled at how clever I had become. It even made me look like a loving, considerate husband.

"Darling, I'd be delighted to join the gym with you. We'll be in the best shape of our lives a year from now. You'll see!" I promised.

The next day I stopped at the gym and filled out the forms, paid the fees, and started the ball rolling. Being a woman, Judy insisted we shop for workout clothes. We had to look good while we sweated and suffered! I was going to object until it occurred to me that a lot of affairs got started in gyms! There would be other chubs trying to thin down. Judy would look pretty good to them. Hell, she was still a very attractive woman, even with the extra pounds. This could work well for me.

While we were shopping, Judy decided she needed a professional wardrobe for her new career. I considered suggesting it was bit early to buy clothes for a job that required passing a state test. That might not be a very easy task. I held my tongue because I had to be the loving, supportive husband. We could afford it, and besides, if I could prove adultery, I would save tons more in the settlement than the clothes cost.

It took a couple days to buy all the accessories Judy felt we needed to be stylish as we suffered. She also changed her food shopping habits. I couldn't find a potato chip in the goddamn house! We had cauliflower, granola bars, and other weird shit for snacks. Meals were smaller and always included salads. Judy didn't starve herself, or me, but she certainly cut our caloric intake.

We would meet at the gym after Judy finished her classes for the day. She told me all about her day as we used the treadmill. I had to wonder how she could walk that far, that fast and still be able to speak. I was sweating like a butcher and barely able to nod in agreement from time to time. I'd get up every morning sore and tired and wonder if the whole plan was worth the effort.

It was a little easier the second week, so Judy increased the speed we walked, and then the slope! As we grew accustomed to the weight machines, she added more weight. She watched me like a hawk, always pushing me to the limit. I resented it at first. Then I realized she was pushing herself even harder. We spent around 90 minutes in the gym and Judy was working hard every minute. Then, just for the hell of it, Judy began to teach herself French. I mean she decided to learn to read and write French, to help her relax from studying real estate so much. It just seemed to me that beer was a much better alternative for relaxing.

The day came for her real estate test. She was extremely nervous and I did all I could to assure her. I had helped her study and had learned a fair amount about selling property as a result.

I waited in the lounge while Judy took the test. I actually fell asleep. All the exercise we had been getting was increasing my stamina, but I found that when I relaxed, I really relaxed.

Judy woke me up by shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, Rip!" she laughed. "I passed the test!"

"How do you know already? Don't you have to wait for the results in the mail?" I asked.

"Get out of the stone age, Alley Op," grinned Judy. "Computers are all the rage. I only missed one question. Sam will be glad to hear about my score!"

There was that name again. This time I kept my smile. I knew Judy was watching me closely. I had to wonder to myself why the UPS man couldn't fuck her instead. Those guys were supposed to be good at seducing housewives. It just seemed better to me to be cuckolded by a stranger than that damn Sam Gault! Then I wondered why it made a difference to me. I had no answer for that question. Finally I told myself that Judy should have an enjoyable experience when she first strayed. Then I would put her through hell when I told all our relatives and tossed her ass out! I had to admit my plan wasn't perfect.

As the weeks went on, Judy had more than a few failures in selling real estate. In fact, she hadn't made a sale, or even come close. I was worried that she would give up and go back to sitting home and eating bon-bons. If that happened, the UPS guy would be my only hope!

We kept going to the gym and we kept eating salads. I began to notice a difference in my appearance. I dropped back to a 34 waist and my shirts fit like they were supposed to fit. My stamina was much better and several women in my office commented on how improved my appearance was. I realized that when the time came, I would be able to pick and choose Judy's replacement. I secretly admired myself in our mirror more than a few times. I was the man!

"Sam Gault had a buyer sign a contract on one of my listings today!" Judy beamed. "When, and if, it closes, I will be getting $5,220. It isn't a fortune, but it's a start. I think I've been concentrating on selling too much, Jason. Listing agents make the easy money. From now on, I'm focusing on listing properties for sale," she added.

"It's a great start, Judy!" I exclaimed. "Do you want to celebrate?"

"One thing Sam taught me is not to spend the money, or even celebrate the sale, until the check is in my hand. Too many things can happen before the closing. Sam has been extremely considerate and helpful," admitted Judy.

I knew why. He wanted to fuck the shit out of my wife! He was in his "be professional and courteous" stage of the seduction. It would be a couple months before he was in the "show me your appreciation by sucking my cock" stage. The guy was a snake! It was a good thing he was an integral part of my master plan or I'd rip his balls off and shove them down his throat.

True to her word, Judy began beating the pavement, the bushes, the developments, and the even farmlands for listings. By the time her first closing approached, she had five other listings under contract and $42,000 due when they closed. The week before the closing, she wrote a contract on a farm she had listed herself. The agreed upon price was $845,000 and her commission as listing and selling agent was over $35,000! If she kept her pace, her income would easily outpace mine in her first full year!

"Sam has invited us out to celebrate after the closing Thursday afternoon, Jason. It will be my first check, although it looks like there will be a lot more. He is taking us to The Sugarnotch Restaurant. He has invited the whole sales team, secretaries included, as well as all spouses. It'll cost him more than I'll be making on the sale, but he feels I've demonstrated I'm worth every penny," concluded Penny.

That bastard could afford to spend money on pieces of ass! I did some quick calculations and concluded that Judy was making the fucker a fortune! I was hoping one of the other salesmen would step to the plate and bang Judy before that shithead, Sam, ploughed her.

"That sounds great, Darling. My only problem is I have to go to Maryland Thursday night for an early meeting Friday morning. I'll have to leave by nine or so to get some sleep and be alert for my early meeting," I stated.

"Jason, you've been so good to me! I appreciate everything you've done and how supportive and patient you have been the past few months. I'd be the most selfish bitch on the planet if I complained about you having to leave. I'm just glad you can make it at all!" she concluded.

It seemed like the stars had aligned and my plan had a celestial blessing, or some such bullshit. If I left Judy at the dinner party in the warm glow of her success and a few drinks, she would be a pretty easy target for Sam "The Snake Fucker" Gault. Judy would be unfaithful and I would be the wronged party! I wondered why the apparent success of my plan didn't make me happier.

Thursday morning I packed an overnight bag before I went to work. Judy and I had agreed to meet at the restaurant since it was on the way to Maryland. I would be able to stay longer if I didn't have to take her home and then drive all the way back on my way to Maryland. I was saving over an hour on my journey.

I got to the restaurant before Judy, so I cozied up to the bar and had a drink. I chatted with a few of the salespeople Judy worked with as I waited for her arrival. Everyone congratulated me on having a beautiful, resourceful wife. Sam Gault even shook my hand and spent ten minutes telling me what a good thing I had in Judy. He did everything but tell me he'd have her pussy wrapped around his cock before very long. He never actually said anything inappropriate, but I know how a man thinks, believe me!

Finally Judy walked into the room. I wasn't looking in her direction when she arrived, but I noticed the silence that fell over the room, so I turned to look to see what had caused it. I almost shit my pants! Judy was in a clingy black dress. It was cut low and it was short. Her cleavage was a vision and her legs were fantastic! I had been admiring myself in the mirror a lot and not noticing Judy's metamorphosis! Her waist looked tiny, like she was an actual hourglass. I had trouble breathing as she glided across the room and kissed me.

Soon she was the center of attention, and rightly so! She laughed, smiled, joked, and schmoozed with every man, and woman, in the place. She practically held court. There were several younger women there that had been enjoying a lot of attention before Judy arrived. Now they were all but ignored.