His Last Fateful Halloween

It was a strange day he thought, but most all Halloween days were for him ever since that fateful Halloween long ago. With each passing hour of every Halloween day he remembered more clearly the question She gave him to accept or reject.

He often wondered what might have happened if he would have said "yes" rather than the "no" that he spoke to Her. He sat down in his Lazy Boy, getting comfortable as he wrote something on the note. Standing he felt fully ready for it to begin .... once again.

The clock chimed 6PM and suddenly swirling visions of that long ago night unfurled before his eyes, just as it had for the last 8 Halloweens past, just as She said that it would. A shiver ran deep into his heart as his blood started to pump faster and faster, his mind remembering more clearly, his breath becoming deep, his eyes closing to the remembrance of those 8 long ago Halloweens, beginning once again as it was tonight.

And then it started ... for the 9th time.

The house was cold as he walked down the hallway. Little sounds of some far away liquid dripping steadily into a slowly filling basin. With each step that he took the drips echoed along with his footsteps, timed perfectly as if it were a clocks pendulum swinging back and forth. The door of the room ahead slowly opened as he turned into the darkness of the now open room, listening for Her, inhaling, searching for Her sweetness. Walking into the room the door slowly closed, pivoting on uncared for, ancient looking hinges. The latch found it's home, clicking silently secure. Darkness completely over powered his senses, listening only to his breath and the dripping of that far away liquid. Quietly he stood frozen in his tracks, waiting, listening, quietly inhaling while hoping to know that She was there with him.

The note he found on his desk, as he had found for the past 9 Halloween mornings said to be here in this very room exactly at 6PM or She would assume that his answer was again no. He was always puzzled at the similarities of the style of writing in the note today as he was the previous 8 Halloween notes before. It was mysteriously much like the style of his Wife who died 10 years ago on this day, leaving such an emptiness in his heart. Strangely he was so intrigued by this note. He remembered his Wife saying that She was raised in a "non traditional home life" but She said it was also very much filled with love and warmth so he never questioned Her. Why should he? He always felt so loved and such warmth, especially when enjoying Her smile and Womanly passions filled with love that they shared together.

He knew that She was very secretive of Her past but very intense about Her Wiccan religion. She never forced this on him and he always was curious of how She could easily calm his heart with Her soft little soothing songs. She told him that She practiced Her religion and believed that She would be with him always, even in death.

She had said many, many times that if something should ever happen to Her that She would somehow come to him on the day of Her death but would also always be there, living deep within his heart. Always smiling, always warm to his touch, always whispering of the delights that he would enjoy as they embraced passionately within the love they shared together. His heart ached terribly for Her now. His spirit never fully embraced again since that terrible day She left him so alone. So completely alone.

As it was the 8 past times before, the dripping liquid stopped suddenly, the new overwhelming silence deafened his ears as he waited silently, quietly inhaling, filtering the rooms stale fragrance, hoping to find that She was again finally there. Deeper and deeper he breathed, slowly exhaling through his mouth, refilling his nostrils, quietly screaming in his mind, praying to the God's there was much more than mere similarities of handwriting that brought him here again.

Suddenly he smiled, feeling Her warmth and love, adding to his courage with each beat of his heart. Deep inside She WAS with him as She had always been since that fateful day. Wiping a tear from his eye he turned to leave, retracing unseen steps but suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling that he again MUST stay and face this.

Stopping almost at the door, an odd mildewy like whip of air filled his nostrils, causing him to sneeze from it's wet staleness. Wailing sounds behind him filled his ears, calling his name as it had the many times before. intense blast furnace like heat singed the back of his neck, back and legs. Lights behind his form shadowed with each step towards the door, flickering light and dark much like fire light shadowing within the night. He felt his skin respond with goosebumps from the mysterious intensity behind him. Standing silent, frantically searching for his center, his calmness of strength then slowly he once again turning back to face who was there now calling his name.

With eyes widening, mouth opening with a silent, yet unspoken word he saw Her smiling at him. Her beauty perfect in all ways reflecting the memory of his Wife ... except for Her eyes. Hard, dark, cold, unyielding, nothing of the deep pools of the ocean that softened his heart so many times in their past. Looking downward, so hoping She was there, slowly turning his gaze upward , specifically looking for Her soft smile, wishing to believe it WAS Her. It MUST be Her! Please, let it BE Her, he prayed.

She walked slowly, almost gliding toward this now shivering man, softly smiling, whispering memories of passions shared, singing softly the little songs that his Wife once used to help him find calmness and then sleep within Her arms, Her fingers refreshed many pleasurable past memories in his mind as She touched his face, slowly lightly painting caressing strokes from his forehead to his chin then around the back of his neck, pulling his face downward to the deep shadow between the fullness of Her soft breasts, holding him close, stroking his hair lightly, exactly as his Wife had done so many times before.

Quietly he began weeping, tears flowing down onto Her breasts, pitifully crying his love for his Wife, so hoping this was Her, so needing this to truly be Her, praying that he finally would have the courage to say "yes" when She once asked him to follow. Clinging to Her soft body he hugged Her tightly, softly kissing Her neck and shoulders, caressing Her back and hips, frantically hoping to prolong the pleasure of Her sweetness before it was time to face Her and answer the question once again. Closing his tear filled eyes he waited.

Suddenly they were laying on a huge beach towel, cuddling lovingly, secluded on the beach once again. Ocean waves lapping against the shore, slowly foaming upon the sun heated sand. Clouds shadowing the suns hot rays upon their naked bodies. Motivated by shared Sensually they lay, listening to the music of the sea mixed with little mews while sharing the delicious crescendos of their sweet symphony of love making.

Such overwhelming pleasures he found within Her soft velvety wetness, thrusting deeply, withdrawing slowly, purposely moving forward as he withdrew, massaging Her button with his hard shaft and fingers then plunging back again into the warmth of Her sweet Womanhood. Over and over they lay dancing upon the beach, overwhelmed in such heated intimate passions, but sadly aware of the overwhelmingly huge wave soon to sweep them into the sea.

He should have listened to Her and put the blanket further inland. He should have read the weather report, words of caution written to the reader, concerned words of high surf on this sunny Halloween day. He should have done so many things long ago ... but he didn't. He knew it was all his fault and now his terrible fate to return and to remember, re-living again and again his failings on that fateful Halloween, 10 years past.

Quietly he held Her in his arms, knowing that Her eyes were dark behind twin delicate, closed eyelids. He silently brushed Her hair lightly with his fingers, sadly smiling at the wetness from perspiration on each strand caused from their heated, sensual lovemaking. He watched the sky darken above them, knowing this was the prelude of Her soon to be asked question for him to answer. The waves grew bolder, lapping further and further onto the beach. He once again watched the terrible, far away waves growing tall, strong, filling the sky, knowing it was coming for them. He could do nothing ... but wait, hoping he would find courage to answer Her as he should have when She asked the question 10 years ago, as She also asked him the past 8 Halloweens.

Closer the huge, overwhelming wave came for them. He felt Her stirring, pulling him closer to Her, lightly kissing his cheek, Her leg over his, him feeling Her wetness kissing his thigh. He softly rubbed Her back with his hand, whispering in Her ear his love as the wave overwhelmed them, pulling them quickly to the sea. Tumbling, rolling over and over. Deeper and deeper they went into the oceans depth. The under current swiftly pulling, tugging, intensely like it was there to separate his wife from him .... but he held Her tightly, using his legs and arms like a vice to keep Her close to him.

Suddenly they were on top of the water, gasping for air, frantically filling their lungs, trying desperately to breath and live.

His Wife screamed " Please don't leave me, hold me tighter, don't ever let me go." Then the next wave took them down once again. The water was so cold the further they together fell. Downward, again tumbling, rolling, snatched left then right then down ever further. His ears loudly popping, his lungs screaming for air, his heart pounding wildly then again they were on the raging, frothy surface.

He held Her up to the air, screaming for his Wife to breath while silently praying for this to finally be over... knowing it was not, knowing Her question was soon to be asked, willing himself to say yes this time.... he MUST say YES! He watched the waves pulling them further and further away from land. He knew they MUST swim back or, well, life would end.

With a face of an angel She finally asked. Her eyes still filled with darkness as tears flowed down Her cheeks She asked once again, " please don't leave me, please, will you stay with me this time? Her words so clear to his ears. Her words quietly caressing his heart. Her words so needful for him to stay this time with her.

So many times before he could not find the courage to accept death willingly. 10 years ago he fought for their lives ... but sadly also he lost the love of his life because of frantically trying to help Her swim for shore, knowing She didn't have the strength nor the ability to swim more than a few miles. 10 long years ago and now with this day, 9 revisits to this very scene in his life aching deeply in his heart, knowing She would not last, knowing that He would soon be swimming alone in those terrible, life threatening, outwardly drawing waves towards the sea.

This time he didn't try to save their lives, only swimming next to Her, holding Her, saying "YES," speaking his love for Her, kissing Her lips and cheeks. No pleadings for Her to try this time. Nothing but calmness and honor to share Her fate as he should have long ago, honorably accepting fate this time and not challenging death.

Quietly they rode the waves together, further into the sea. She sang soft, sweet little songs to help calm his fear of death. She held him close as they finally accepted their slowly descending path into the depths of the ocean .... Her eyes once again twin pools of blue while looking into his as they took their final breath together below.

In that now empty room where he once sat, waiting for Her question to answer, the sun peaked through the curtained windows shining on the empty Lazy Boy rocker. The note he found that morning of the 10th year of Her death lay straight, perfectly even on top of the other 8 notes he received each Halloween. But this note was different. Below the information of time and going to the dark room was his hand writing that said: I love You so much, please help me to find the courage to say yes and accept our fate so that we can finally be together again for ever and ever.