Hold Your Breath

Its okay.

Everything is going to be fine.

I kept telling myself that, repeatedly.

I was nervous. My hands and palms were sweating, and I felt I just ran a marathon. My whole frame was shaking, and at the same time, I was turned on. I stared up into dark brown eyes as he waited for my signature—the signature that would bind me to him for the next few days. He was going to be my master. My Dominant.

I swallowed and reached for the pen. I fumbled with it, dropped it a couple times, but was finally able to sign my name on the line. I felt a bead of sweat run from my temple to my neck. The air conditioner was trying to keep up with the Arizona heat, but was failing. Either that or I was more freaked out than I thought I was.

When I was done, I took a deep breath, and leaned back against the leather backing of the restaurant booth. My hands were shaking, so I sat on them. I could already feel my nipples erect from the heat of his gaze, and flinched when he grabbed the paperwork and shoved it into the side of his tux. He had asked me a million times if I was sure I could do this. In addition, he didn't look surprised to see me falling apart last minute.

"Amanda," He said, frowning. He took a sip of his wine and gave me a pained expression. "Remember your safe word?"

"Yes." Something occurred to me. Did he think I would need to use it?

"Do not be alarmed. I do not intend to go rough on you your first time." He said, smiling. I nodded.

He had been over this at least a hundred times. I went through the checklist on what kinds of equipment I thought I could handle. Coming from vanilla to this was something of a whiplash. I hoped he wouldn't be to angry with me if I chickened out and spewed my safe word five minutes into it. I picked out something easy to remember, and somewhat comical.

Dangleberry.

Honestly, what are the chances of saying that during intercourse? Well, given the kinky stuff of today's generation, I guess it wouldn't be a total shock if that was uttered in the bedroom. I laughed internally. Get into the mood, get all hot and whisper dangleberry into somebody's ear. Might be a killjoy, though.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me, his eyes intent. I dropped my eyes and blushed. I knew I had to be honest with him. And he could probably tell if I lied. So I told the truth.

"Nervous, sir."

"About what in particular?"

"I am afraid I am not strong enough for this, but I want this. I want this more than anything. Maybe I just have the jitters of newcomers. Will this go away? The...the uncertainty?" I asked, taking my hands from underneath me, soothing my pale purple dress over my thighs.

"I certainly hope so, little one." His eyes were bright with curiosity and lust when his gaze flickered over my breast popping out of my dress. "You are stronger than you give your self credit for. This is all normal. The fear of the unknown. But you must trust me. And it is not yourself you trust, than how could you trust anybody else? Relax, take a deep breath. You will be fine." He leaned forward and took my hand that I had placed on the table that I didn't notice I did.

He scooted over near me then, and I could feel the heat of his leg pressed up against mine. My heart stuttered and then went into overdrive. My breath quickened and my mouth went dry.

He chucked and brushed a curl out of my face, and leaned over to nibble on my ear. I shuddered and leaned my head back a little. I shivered when he took a solitary finger and traced my spine. I leaned forward when his hands found the sensitive roots of my hair and grabbed on. It wasn't painful, though. Well, not yet, anyway. He used the back of my head to steer me over in a painfully lush kiss that warmed the bottom of my toes.

I opened my mouth up to taste that plundering soft tongue work its magic inside of my mouth. Just like candy. I thought as he then nibbled on my lower lip. I gave somewhat of a half-strangled squeak and wrapped my arms over his shoulders, throwing much unashamed enthusiasm into the kiss as I could possibly manage.

He unwrapped my arms around his neck and we broke apart, gasping. He seemed to be in better control of himself, though. I had to remind myself that we were in public, and this wasn't the...best thing to do in a restaurant.

"You're a dirty little girl." He said to me, winking.

I panted and nodded. "Yes, sir, I am."

"Are you my dirty little girl?"

"Yes, sir, nobody else's but yours."

I had not even notice the waiter come, but she was there, looking impatient.

"Would you like a re-fill?" She asked me, gesturing to my half-empty cup.

"Y-yes." I told her, suddenly freaked out by the intense gaze my master Charles was giving me.

"Sweet or un-sweet?" She asked, reaching over to grab my cup. I flinched. Her shirt was a little too low cut, and when she leaned over, well—

She let me in on a free show.

Charles was then grinning like an idiot.

"Sw-w-w-w," Was all I could choke out.

"Sweet," Charles said, barely even paying attention to the waiter. When the waiter sauntered off, he leaned over towards me, and whispered into my ear.

"Does she make you nervous?"

"No," I said back. What was making me nervous was him. Plain and simple.

I was an average girl really; I was never much of an athlete. I worked as a librarian. I guess the romantic gooey love novels finally became stale. But I was surprised in myself by making such a commitment.

I had a feeling that Charles could be one hell of a mean person if he wanted to be. But for some reason, he didn't put off that aura. Maybe I was just that good at reading people..., him particularly.

He was certainly handsome, at least. He was the ripe age of thirty-five with an eye-crinkling smile that made you forget about each and everything else in life. He was warm, and safe. His laugh was like honey—his smell was like freesia. He was the essence of a smart man, condensed and given form. He made the room light up. There was just no other way to explain it.

"Are you sure?" He asked me, his hazel brown eyes penetratingly beautiful. I nodded at him, my blond curly and wiry making me look like a Barbie doll that went through a wind tunnel when I looked down, because the damn curls went right over my eyes. I brushed them back and sighed.

"I have never been more sure." I told him, looking up into his eyes.

The drinks returned.

"Thank you." I told her, and she strutted away. Master was sitting beside me in the booth now, as we were touching shoulder to shoulder. I felt his hand relax on my thigh, and I tried not jump. My face turned a bright red and my thighs clenched together tight in fear of his invading hands.