Home Health Care

"For tonight," Zach said. "I will take you up on it."

Daniel tried to reach behind himself with his casted arm to reach the bedside lamp, but couldn't. Zach moved to do it, and leaned far over Daniel's body to the switch and turned it off, plunging the room into near darkness. The only light came from a dim shaft of light coming from the bathroom.

As he pulled back, he realized he was dragging half the length of his body against Daniel and sensation made his mind reel. Moving over Daniel, Zach took his right hand and touched Daniel's jaw, tracing the line of it, orienting himself. He lowered his head, knowing exactly where to place his lips and covered Daniel's with his own. With restrained pressure, Zach moved his lips upon Daniel's in a kiss that was soft but asked to be more. His hand moved around Daniel's head to cradle the back of it and pull him closer. All the while, Zach seemed to know exactly what he was doing, knew that he shouldn't do it and didn't really care. As if Zach's body was through with his mind's indecisiveness, it had taken over and made that kiss a reality, not just a wish. Zach wasn't even sure if this was something Daniel wanted or would punch him for later.

When Daniel opened his mouth a bit to lick Zach's bottom lip, Zach nearly lost his restraint and struggled not to press Daniel further. He was rewarded though, when Daniel ventured further and sucked Zach's lip into his mouth to chew and nip on it. With a moan neither of them could ignore, Zach deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to invade Daniel's mouth and explore the sweet cavern, tangling his tongue with Daniel's, using the pressure of his lips to make love to his mouth. In every fiber of his being, he knew that he was not alone in his feelings, he wasn't the only one who was enjoying this intimacy.

This, Zach thought with barely a shred of remaining thought, is the best kissing of my life. It was the feeling of Daniel's hand slipping under his t-shirt and running up his side that brought Zach back to the little remaining sense he had. He moved his right hand to stop Daniel's progress and broke the kiss, taking in a huge, steadying breath. When he opened his eyes, he looked into orbs of light-absorbing confusion.

"What?" Daniel's voice was soft and breathy.

"I'm sorry, Daniel." Zach moved off of him and moved himself to the far edge of the bed. "I swear I'm not usually this much of an ass. I'm sorry. You need your sleep to heal. I'll go, you get some rest." Zach was forestalled by Daniel's hand reaching out to stop him.

Daniel just looked at him with an expression that changed from confusion to sadness, and then another jaw-cracking yawn took over. "Okay, you win for now. I'll go to sleep, but you stay here. I wouldn't wish that couch on my worst enemy." And with that Daniel arranged himself in the bed and soon seemed to fall asleep.

Zach went to the far side of the big bed and tried to stay as small and still as possible. Leaving Daniel would look callous, like he was rejecting Daniel. He should reject the young man, but Zach didn't have the heart to hurt his feelings. Not long ago, Daniel had been hurt badly in a way few could see, now he was hurt all over again.

Zach was awake long into the night, staring at the invisible ceiling and could only think of that kiss and what a total idiot he was. The absolute last thing Daniel Travers needed in his life was the lusting attention of someone who was supposed to help him get up on his feet again. He hadn't really needed the talk from Marion to remind him that he was a walking love-life disaster.

Oh, he was a nice enough guy, but somehow, whenever he got involved with someone, after a while he would start feeling nervous or bored and he felt the urge to leave. Flee was more like it. Lately, he noticed that his explanations: that he didn't want to be tied down to anyone or any place, were starting to sound like lame excuses even to his own ears.

**

The next morning, with early spring light coming through the windows, Zach came into the bedroom and approached the bed, carrying two steaming mugs of delicious-smelling coffee. Daniel was still delightfully rumpled and fresh from sleep, and Zach wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, lay close to Daniel's blanket-warm body and kiss those lips for the rest of the morning. Trying to do the right thing, Zach felt that calm discussion, rather than rampant lust, was the honorable path. Until he knew where they stood and how Daniel felt about him, Zach needed to restrain his urges. And Zach was positive that he would have little restraint if he tried to talk about last night's kiss with Daniel still in bed.

With quiet thanks, Daniel took the mug Zach offered him, but was annoyed when Zach then went to the end of the bed to sit down, instead of closer to Daniel. It had been late and Daniel had been in that strange, near-dream state that sometimes happens, but he was sure that they had kissed. He was certain that Zach had initiated the contact and that he, Daniel had enjoyed the erotic tangle of their tongues. Now, in the light of morning, came the awkwardness. Zach kept his distance from Daniel, and Daniel felt that this must mean that Zach had wished that their kiss had never happened.

Daniel blew into his coffee mug, trying to gauge the temperature and buy himself a little time. The problem with drinking his coffee black is that it was often too hot and burnt his tongue when he went to take his first gulp of the day. Asking for ice, like his grandmother made him feel like he was being an old woman, so he had developed the habit of blowing onto the top of the cup trying to tell from the heat rising off the surface just how hot the liquid was. It had become a little ritual for him and right now, he was using it to delay, delay, delay. Look up, don't look up? How long could he possibly blow into his coffee before he looked like a complete moron?

Zach was fighting with himself, like he had an entire debate team inside of his head. One voice screamed: "He wants nothing to do with you. Let it go and pretend it never happened." The very aggressive one shouted: "kiss him again and see if responds like last night, then don't stop." A quiet observer, sitting on the sidelines said, "You know, he's probably at least as nervous as you are. Give him a minute to catch up with you."

Sitting on the side of the bed, Zach watched Daniel blow over the surface of his coffee and could practically hear the gears in his head whirring and clicking. Yeah, he was nervous, but damned cute at the same time: his cheeks were a little flushed and since his eyes were looking down, Zach noticed the younger man's long, thick eyelashes nearly resting on his cheek. Zach had the urge to move up to the head of the bed and brush his knuckle along Daniel's cheekbone to feel the heat in his face.

A kernel of calm somehow sprouted within Zach and he used this young feeling when he opened his mouth next to speak to Daniel. His own breathing had slowed and decided to take things very slowly and only as they came. Here and now, he realized, was not right for talking about kisses; that would have to wait.

"I want to thank you for getting me out of the hospital for a few days." Zach said this with a smile on his face. A look of complete confusion clouded Daniel's face, so Zach went on. "Cynthia assigned me to you for the rest of the week to help with rehab and recovery. So if you don't mind, I'll be your temporary roommate?"

"How did you manage that, if you don't mind me asking?" Nothing about this morning was going in a direction Daniel's mind could follow.

"While you were in the hospital, Preston Chambers came by every so often to check on you. Did you know about that?" Zach dropped this little bombshell, that the hospital's head administrator had been interested in Daniel.

"He poked his head in once to see me, but that was it. Is something going on that I don't know about?" Daniel asked.

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Cynthia thinks he's terrified that you'll sue the hospital for the accident." Zach smiled at Daniel's wide-eyed reaction. "Personally, I think Cynthia's a little bit cynical, but Chambers is a busy man but he found time to come by for a progress report at least twice a day. Anyway, the day before they were going to release you, he joined a group of us in the hallway to talk. I was in the hallway with Cynthia, your doctor and the surgeon." Zach flipped a hand and said, "You know how decisions get made around there."

Daniel snorted, because he knew exactly what Zach meant: invariably more business was done standing around in loose groups of people than ever got accomplished in endless hours of meetings. "So what was decided, without my knowledge, I might add?"

"I am telling you now!" Zach looked sarcastically affronted. "The ortho wanted to keep you a few more days, but you had already vetoed that, I guess." Daniel nodded in agreement. "So they agreed that if you had some Home Help and some rehab, it would be fine That's when Cynthia piped up, wanting to be helpful, and she volunteered me for the job. Chambers had already thought of it, so they agreed that I could be assigned to you until you full-time could come back to work. Then, when you start full-time rehab, I'll be your therapist, if that's okay with you?"

Daniel's mind swam with all the information he had just received. Lawsuits and nervous administrators, Zach getting assigned to him. People had been talking about him without his knowledge and making decisions about his future and his health without his consent. Being in the hospital didn't make him helpless or incompetent. It took a lot to make Daniel angry, but he could feel his blood pressure rising in response to this news. He knew that Zach wasn't trying to irritate him, but at the moment, it didn't matter too much. God help Preston Chambers if he walked into the room, thought Daniel. All this caused his mouth to work before his brain could stop it.

"So you're here as part of your job?" Daniel's tone clearly expressed the annoyance he was feeling.

Zach could have kicked himself when he heard Daniel's question and his sharp tone of voice. Of course, it was possible to see the situation that way, but Zach had only perceived the serendipity of the way events had fallen out. But from Daniel's perspective, Zach now realized that maybe this wasn't the best news he could have delivered.

"No, not quite. I had already asked Cynthia for a few days off, to be available to help you. Marion and I had sort of worked out a schedule. Then, just as she was trying to figure out the staffing, she gets the command from on-high." Zach tried to make it sound casual.

Daniel shook his head, trying to clear the conflicting messages floating through his brain. Was Zach here because he wanted to be here? He figured they were at least friends, and though it was a lot to ask of a friend, Daniel hadn't asked. Zach had offered and then Chambers had made it an order. Fine, he thought, but then what was up with the kissing. Daniel was positive he hadn't dreamed that up and just as sure that Chambers hadn't meant that to be part of the assignment. He was just about ready to ask about that when Zach bounded up from the bed with a very energetic action.

"And our first order of the day is a bath for you, Mr. Travers."

Daniel's mouth hung open. Nope, no way was Mr. Hot PT going to see him naked, with an erection that Daniel wouldn't be able to control.

"Is that really necessary?" Daniel croaked a little and couldn't meet Zach's eyes. He only hoped that the blush he felt was confining itself to his ears.

"Umm, yeah, sorry but it is. You smell like the hospital and it will really help you feel better, I promise." Zach started moving around the room, picking up a few things. "I need to get a couple of things ready in the bathroom. You think you can get undressed? Good. I'll be back in a few minutes."

The bath was a torture of apprehension and stress, but Zach had been right: Daniel really did feel much better afterward. Zach had proven himself to be the ultimate professional. He had set up the tub with a step stool inside to keep Daniel's leg elevated and then had wrapped the cast in some sort of plastic wrap to help keep it dry.

Daniel had crutched his way to the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, hoping to heaven that it wouldn't slip, since he would be unable to catch it if it did. Zach quickly went through the procedure: Zach would help Daniel into the tub, and then leave him alone to bathe until he was ready to have his hair washed. Then, Zach would return and use a special hand-held shower to wash Daniel's hair. After that, Zach would help him out of the tub and get him dried off. Daniel had some doubts about all of this, mostly because he didn't want to embarrass himself with a raging hard-on in Zach's presence, but he had little option but to comply.

As the two men started the bath, Daniel realized that he had many more reasons to be embarrassed than the possibility of his attraction to Zach. Between his own complete lack of coordination on crutches and the cramped bathroom, Daniel nearly injured Zach twice before he even got into the tub. Once Daniel was in the water, he figured there wasn't too much danger and he left Daniel alone to soak for a bit. Luckily, the water was blissfully warm, and Daniel began to feel the tension and strain of days slowly slip away.

For the first time in four days, Daniel was truly alone. No nurse would come in when he least expected it. No P.A. system was chattering away somewhere, and the phone wouldn't ring. Daniel suspected that Zach was nearby, in case Daniel got into trouble. But for a few moments, Daniel tried to forget that his right leg was propped just above water level and his wrist was encased in fiberglass and plaster. The hot water (Daniel had always enjoyed the water just a little on the too-hot side) cradled his worn-out muscled and frazzled nerves. Reaching for the gel and washcloth, Daniel realized that Zach had been right. He needed to take a bath and smell like himself and start to pull the frayed strings of his life into some semblance of order. The citrusy smell and foam of the gel further soothed away the fatigue and helped Daniel feel put-back-together-again.

Ready for his hair to be clean, Daniel snagged one of the towels and draped it over the tub in the fashion of a canopy or tent. It wouldn't keep Zach from looking, if he really wanted to, but was a symbol to Daniel that he was trying to keep this professional, as Zach seemed to want. Daniel decided he would think about what he wanted himself later.

"Zach," Daniel shouted. "Stop loafing around and get in here."

The door opened almost immediately, confirming Daniel's assumption that Zach would have stayed close in case of an accident. "O Prince, your will is my command." Zach templed his fingers and bowed slightly. "Really though, I was starting to worry that you had fallen asleep in here. You must be a total prune by now."

Daniel just smiled at that and sat up a little straighter to let Zach have access to his hair. "I don't think anyone has washed my hair since I was a kid and my Mom did it for me. This should be a treat."

Zach chuckled, "I don't know about that. This isn't some salon, you know. I only promise to get your hair clean. And if you keep your mouth shut, I should be able to keep the soap out of your mouth." Zach began to hook up the shower head and test the water, looking very competent. Daniel glared unbelievingly at him and Zach laughed out loud at this. "I'm kidding, you know. Post-op recovery is my specialty. I can be extra careful about those stitches. I used to work for private clients and I know what I'm doing, so just relax." And finally Zach flashed his impossibly bright smile at Daniel and moved to the end of the tub.

Daniel did relax, so much he practically melted as Zach rinsed and massaged Daniel's scalp, lathering it with aromatic shampoo that Daniel didn't recognize. "That smells really good, what is it?" Daniel could hear his words in the air, but they sounded nearly slurred with the somnolent state he was in. He reveled in the firm-gentle touch and rhythmic motion of Zach strong fingers on his head. It was very sensual, Daniel thought vaguely.

Zach chuckled, "It's just some stuff I like. All natural and won't sting if you get it in your eyes, just in case. Now, close 'em, I'm going to rinse." As the warm water showered lightly over Daniel's dark, dark hair and Zach found he now had to carefully monitor his own breathing. It had been obvious that Daniel was enjoying this process; he was so totally relaxed, Zach would have been surprised that Daniel knew he had been making the little sounds of approval Zach heard. Nor did Daniel probably notice that he had begun to get aroused the longer Zach massaged and shampooed his hair.

The modesty-cover that Daniel had erected had amused Zach at first, but he hadn't said anything for fear of making him even more uncomfortable. Zach had always recognized that his clients needed to be able to maintain their own sense of dignity especially while needing help with some of life's most basic needs. If Daniel wanted to be modest about his nudity, then Zach would respect that. But when Daniel's eyes were closed, Zach hardly had to crane his neck to see the body below the towel. With a struggle, Zach kept from groaning audibly as he drank in the sight of Daniel's thin, athletic form with his bare, angular shoulders, narrow waist, lightly-defined chest and dusting of hair that narrowed to a trail that led to his. . . . Zach swallowed and concentrated on his work and decided that the only reason Daniel needed a second shampoo would be to satisfy Zach's lust to gaze at his naked body. Zach shook his head at the thought and turned off the water. Once the water was off, Daniel seemed to rouse himself slowly and he turned his slightly muzzy eyes on Zach.

Daniel's voice was a little hoarse as he said, "Thanks, that was really amazing." Zach only nodded.

With lots of help from Zach, Daniel got himself out of the tub and dried off. Zach had been concerned that he might be inappropriate, so kept himself limited to holding Daniel's body lightly, just enough to steady the young man as he did most of his own work. Once back in the bedroom, Daniel asked Zach to get him a pair of boxers and an undershirt.

"You know," Daniel said with a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't really know what to wear. I mean, what can I fit over this damned cast. How does this work?"

"Well, since it's still too cold for shorts, track pants usually work. Do you have any that have snaps down the sides? You know, like warm-up pants?"

"I usually workout at the gym, and my shorts are in the wash. It's too cold out for those, anyway." Daniel shrugged in a defeated sort of way.

"No big deal," Zach countered cheerily, wanting to lift the mood of hopelessness that had gripped Daniel so quickly. "That only gives us a reason to go out and practice crutching around the city. I noticed some loose pants in with your underwear; those will work until we get you something else."

Daniel looked abashed, "I wear those to bed!"

"Yeah, and teenagers wear them to the prom. You'll be fine." Zach strode over to the dresser again, pulled out the pants and flung them at Daniel's head. "Now get dressed, lazybones. I want to get some breakfast. I hear there's an excellent bakery around here."

"My friend," Daniel beamed. "That is the best idea I've heard in days. For a cappuccino and a blueberry scone, I don't care what I look like."

Half an hour later, Daniel made his awkward way into the delicious smelling Sel de Terre bakery. The shop had opened shortly after Daniel had moved to the University neighborhood, and he'd been worried that college kids would be able to appreciate the artisan breads and unusual feel of the place. It wasn't Starbucks, by any stretch of the imagination. But the couple who had opened the shop by pooling their savings and slaving away had built a devoted following and a glowing reputation. Daniel had aided their success by going in at least daily for his morning cup and a scone, so his recent absence had been a big event among the women.