Honesty Not Always Best Policy

I was in a marriage that no longer had anything in it especially love. We had been married 18 years and for the past 4 before that it has been like living like brother and sister. I am white and so is my husband. He had been taken ill and had to be in the hospital for over 2 weeks. After his stay he "claimed" that his cock was fucked up and that was the excuse he used on why we weren't having sex. But that is far from the truth as Pluto is to Earth. He stopped showing any sexual interest in me prior to his cock troubles but he doesn't seem to remember that. In the beginning before we were married the sex was great, it wasn't as intense when we first got married and slowly got to the point that if we had it we had it and if we didn't no big deal. It was always when he wanted it to and the way he would approach me with it is asking me to suck him off or come to my side of the bed sticking his little white cock in my face to get my attention. I had resided myself that I would no longer be having sex. I can remember becoming friendly with some guy I met thru work but didn't have interest in him as far as going to bed with him but I always wanted to know what it was like to suck him off. I told my best friend this and she thought that I turned "queer".

I was working at this place and I was really well liked by some of the customers that I serviced and they would usually call and ask to speak with me because they felt that I went the extra mile to take care of their needs in a timely manner. There was one particular customer that we had that I had a very good relationship with the entire staff especially this one guy who happened to be black. We would "flirt" on the phone and pass sexual remarks back and forth but neither one of us got insulted or ashamed as it was all in fun so we thought. Seven years ago, "Big J" as they referred to him as asked if I would like to meet up for drinks one day and I said yes and to tell me where and when I would make arrangements to meet him. I guess because I was worried about my husband finding out that I was having drinks with a black guy, I didn't really push the issue but I really wanted to meet him. He must have seen that I wanted to but something was holding me back and he didn't push me.

Two years later, right after New Years, we had been really flirting quite a bit and getting really in depth with it. One day he and I had been working on his order and he then told me to write down a phone number and he told me it was his cell phone and I should call him anytime I felt like talking and I thanked him and told him I had to be careful as I had a very jealous one at home and he said he had one one too. I told him I wasn't going to give him my number that day but I would give it to him soon. In the meantime, I decided to bury a picture of myself in some paperwork I had to send with his driver and was hoping he would do the same. He got the package with my picture in an envelope buried and he opened and called me and said that I looked very nice. He didn't have any pictures of him to send me and I didn't have a cell that took or accepted pictures at the time. After thinking about somewhere I had to be towards the end of the week I asked if he was still interested in meeting me and it isn't too far from where he works and he said yes.

Mid week I went to my favorite clothing store and bought a new outfit to meet my friend and I was so nervous. I almost chickened out but I am so glad I did. I was so worried that once he saw me in person he wouldn't like me and would rush through our meeting but be polite as he always is. We agreed to meet outside of his place as not to have to explain to anyone there why I was there and have to answer any questions on why we had to meet.

Saturday morning came and I was still uptight with worry that he would be nice and send me on my way. I called as approached and he picked up right away and said he would be right out. I was going over in my head that he was married and he knows I am too, he has children and I don't and etc. etc.. I was watching by his door for him to come out and the first man that left was white and I knew it wasn't him. I felt myself get all clammy and have thoughts of what he might be like as far as his looks and came up with a few ideas but figured I would just wait and see. The next man that walked out the door was tall and black and I knew that was my man. I locked up my car and met him half way. As we got closer to each other, he extended his hand to me and I took it and then gave him a kiss on the lips and then I said that I was glad to be able to put a face to the voice and it was a pleasure to finally meet him. He was so sexy as he stood 6'4" tall and about 240 pounds, shaved head and the darkest black eyes and dimples, I fell in love with him right then and there.

We talked briefly but the next thing I knew we were kissing with passion and then headed to my car where he was feeling me up and asked me my size and I told him. I put my hand on his leg and he quickly removed it and put it right on his crotch which was growing bigger and bigger. All we did was kiss and touch and there was no time nor we were in a place for anymore to happen. He had to go back to work and I was running late for my appointment. I asked him if he was disappointed and he said not at all and then he asked me the same and I told him neither was I. He told me to call him after my meeting so we could say hello.

My meeting was long and boring and all I kept thinking about was Big J and how good he made me feel and I knew that something was going to happen between us not sure what but I had a feeling in my gut. I called him and he answered my call but was helping a customer so he asked if he could call me back. I told him I had one other stop and then I would be going home. He said it should be with in 10 minutes so I told him to call me. Normally we only talk during the week at work or on our lunch breaks but it was never on Saturdays or Sundays or after we get out of work daily at 5 o'clock.

Ten minutes went by so slowly but he called and we talked and we were like teenagers saying how we enjoyed meeting each other and he told me he loves big tits and liked mine and asked me my size and I told him that I thought he was very sexy. We wished each other a nice weekend and he said that now he can. I went home and made lunch and then laid down and thought about him and his touch and his kisses and how I felt. I daydreamed about him all weekend and actually wished the weekend would be over so I could talk to him and here his sexy voice. I was in a complete fog as some of my friends and I had dinner out that night while my husband went out with "the boys".

When I woke up Monday I didn't know if I should tell him that I was falling for him and risk him not talking to me but I couldn't keep it to myself. He called me back after I called him and he said that he would like to see me again and I told him I had to tell him something and I hopped he wouldn't get mad and end our friendship. I told him that I thought I was falling in love with him and asked him if that upset him and he said no and I asked him if it would bother him if I said I love you and he said it wouldn't mind.

We continued to talk every day and no on Saturdays until he had to leave for home. This weekend he was going with some of his men friends to upper NY state for camping, and beer drinking. The have been doing it for years and haven't fished yet. He wouldn't be at work Friday and won't return to work until Tuesday. I told him I would miss him and he said not to worry he would be back in a few days. During his time of I realized that I wasn't falling in love with him but I was in love with him and had to tell him. When he was back at work on Tuesday he called me to let me know he was back and I told him how I felt and he was okay with it.

A week went by with calls several times a day and then he asked me if I sucked cock and I said I did and I was a little rusty and he said that someone will help me out and would be him. I also said that I would have to be careful. He asked if I could meet him in a week and I said so far it looked like I could. He told me where to meet him and I had something to look forward to and ask my best friend if I could use her as an excuse and she said yes.

I was anxious as I never sucked black cock before and I asked him if I can tell him something and retract what I said a week earlier. There was silence on the other end as he just barely got out that it was okay. I told him that I didn't think I was falling love with him but that I was in love with him and I could hear a sigh of relief.

He and I made a date and it was like we haven't seen each other in years. We kissed and hugged and touched and before I knew it I was sucking my first black cock and he was the nicest I have ever seen. We agreed to meet once a week and we have been doing this now ever since. We made a date to meet at a hotel one night when his wife and my husband were going to be out for hours. We had the best loving making session. He was so gentle as I was out of practice and he made me feel like I was meant to always feel like a woman again.

One day he had called me and told me that his dad was very sick so he would reach out to me whenever he could in between. We began to text at home at night and made no calls except for the Friday morning his dad passed. He told me of his death and said that he was going out to just blow off steam that night with some friends and wanted to know if I could meet him and I said I could because my husband was going out. I drove in the pouring rain to see and be with him and I just held him tight.

That night I told him something that to this day I regret and it was that the week he was away with his family I had met up with an old school friend and we exchanged phone numbers and that we met for drinks and talked and he told me about his life being a living hell as his ex-wife cleaned out his savings account and left him for another woman of all things. I felt so badly for him that I consoled him which meant I sucked him off and we slept together and made love. Big J was all worked up about his dad and said it didn't matter to him that he knew I was trying to be nice to my friend and he asked if he was black or white and I told him black.

We didn't text over the next 2 days as he was making arrangements for the wake and funeral. That Monday he called me and gave me hell and told me to stay away from him and not to show up at the wake because he would have me removed. I asked him why and he said because I fucked my black friend and he thought I was his exclusively and hung up.

I tried to reach him and then left him alone as I know I upset him besides losing his dad. I showed up at the wake as a concerned friend and he didn't have me removed but took me outside. I went to hug and kiss him and he told be to fucking leave him alone not to ever call, text or try to reach him at work again. He would deal with someone else from now on and will hang up if I ever answer when he calls. I tried to apologize but he wouldn't hear of it. We still do not talk to this day.

Being upset with Big J, I called my friend Steve and asked him to meet me. I didn't think that we would ever fuck again and he and I were drinking and he told me I looked upset and I told him about Big J and that how he made me happy and my marriage sucks and he stormed out of the bar and left me and I haven't heard from either.

I lost two great guys and I lost them both because of each other. Today, I got myself another job and moved on. I'm still with my lying, cheating and husband that doesn't touch me or barely talk to me but I can't afford to be on my own.

I guess I learned my lesson and I will now and forever be alone as I don't want to ever have another man in my life ever again. I fell hard for Big J and that is where my heart is. Maybe one day he will forgive me. I could always pray.