Honey, I'm Home! Ch. 02

Author's note: The following incidents are probably mostly fictional, and more than a bit satirical. No sexual acts involve living modern humans under age 18.

Many thanks to Hypoxia for editing. Any technical errors are mine alone.

Readers' constructive comments are welcome.

*****

Lisa loves a hot fudge sundae.

Randall stumbled and nearly fell when he arrived back in his lab. So tired...

He crawled to the Multi-Dimensional Transporter's power supply and shut it down. He had to make sure to remember to do that, every time.

He hadn't mentioned it to Lisa, but there were some fairly nasty things wandering around southern California 15,000 years ago. Carnivorous things. Like saber-toothed cats and dire wolves, and other ice-age mega-fauna. Possibly a few early Paleo-Indians.

There was a remote chance that something, or someone, might wander into the transporter field and end up in his lab.

Of course one had to keep in mind that the beach was actually in a parallel universe, not this precise one. There would be many similarities, but it could not be perfectly identical.

Of course it could be even worse... Randall gnawed at a ragged thumbnail. He really should have chosen a geologic epoch farther removed, when there were no dangerous inhabitants.

He silently debated the optimal time to leave her there. If he rested, he would be ready for further sexual activity upon his return. But would she? Obviously, she had been fully satisfied during their initial encounter, and it might be best to let her rest a while, too.

He scratched his crotch reflectively and immediately noticed he was naked. Damn it! It wasn't like him to forget things, particularly his pants. The fatigue was clearly dulling his razor-sharp intellect.

He hurried to his office and found a stained lab coat in the closet. Better than nothing, but still not something in which he would be comfortable walking the city streets. He put it on and stretched out on his couch. He would have to go back for his clothes before he could leave the lab.

Ah, sweet little Lisa. So hot and sexy, and so easily satisfied.

He fondled his cock and balls absently. Dried cum was crusted in his pubic hair. He shivered as he recalled the cataclysmic orgasm she had given him. No doubt she had experienced the same level of ecstasy. And she had hinted at plans for a full night of amorous adventure if he got back to her within five minutes... Surely she couldn't have been lying about something like that.

He had made his first conquest, and she was clearly as enchanted as he.

It was still early morning at the lab, but Randall was exhausted all the same. He would have liked to go to his apartment to avoid being disturbed, but didn't want to risk going out in public clad only in a lab coat. He would take a nap on his couch and get out before his handlers or someone else demanded his attention.

When Randall landed on the beach again, five minutes after he had left, Lisa was sitting on the air mattress filing her fingernails.

"You're back!" she said brightly. "Didn't waste any time, did you?"

"Uh, yes. I mean 'no.' I fixed the remote control..."

Damn! His cell phone was still in his pants pocket, which should give her a clue that it was not the remote control device he had pretended it was. But, fortunately, she was not terribly perceptive, so maybe she wouldn't notice.

Randall gathered his clothes and pulled them on. He took his cell phone out and said, "OK, if you'll just come over here with me I'll transport us back to the lab—"

Lisa lay back on the mattress and smiled at him dreamily.

"Oh, I guess there's no rush... and it's such a pretty night. The air so fresh and clean... I always wanted to make love on the beach, you know."

Her towel had loosened and the top of one smooth breast peeped out. Randall could almost see the nipple.

His cock sprouted to immediate attention. She was ready for more! After only five minutes! Randall hoped she wouldn't turn out to be a nymphomaniac, now that she had gotten herself a taste of the forbidden fruit.

He walked toward her, wondering if she would undress herself or if she would want him to do it for her. She would probably be shy about being completely naked in front of him, so he would have to be gentle with her.

Just before Randall reached the tent she stood up and started gathering her discarded clothing. The towel gapped open and he saw both her firm breasts clearly. His heart thumped in his chest.

"Or maybe we should just go home," she said. "I'm being silly. We can come back any time to this exact moment if we want."

She retied her towel and slipped out of her bikini briefs, flexing each of her long, slender legs enticingly. "You probably think I'm just a girl who can't make up her mind."

"Uh, no, I—"

Randall gulped, imagining what was under the towel. Naked woman! With a pussy!

"I don't mind staying for a while... if it makes you happy. We can leave for home whenever you like. Of course, to avoid a time paradox, we can't get back before I last left, or we never would have been here."

"Whatever," Lisa said, pulling her panties up and situating them under the towel. "I'm glad you understand that stuff, because I don't. That's why I so adore intelligent men." She batted her eyes at him.

She picked up her brassiere and fastened it over the towel, then pulled the towel away. "Why don't you decide, Sweetie?"

"Aaaagh..." Randall said with a dry mouth. The brassiere lifted and cupped her breasts deliciously, and he could clearly see her erect nipples beneath the sheer fabric.

"I, ah, think I would like to stay for a little while. Sit on the beach and watch the moon rise before we go."

"Ooooh, you want to take me to the submarine races, don't you?" she giggled. "You naughty, naughty boy."

"Well, actually there aren't any submarines in this geologic era," Randall said. "And even if there were, I doubt that they'd risk coming this close to land. Wouldn't be prudent."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me," Lisa said. "Okay, you win. I can't resist you. Why don't you take this blanket a ways down the beach to that nice little spit of sand? We'll have the water around us on three sides."

She handed him a folded blanket.

"OK," Randall said thickly. He wasn't sure what dirty thing he had said, but it had clearly excited her. He would have to analyze that further. He plugged her words into his capacious memory.

"Oh, wait!" She seized him by the arm and turned him to face her. "Why don't we just..." she plucked his pocket protector from his shirt, "leave your valuables here so they won't get lost in the dark? I'll put your keycard and wallet and stuff right here on the bed, OK, sweetie? Unless, of course, there's something in your wallet you think you might need..."

"Good idea," Randall said. He couldn't see why he would need cash or a credit card here. But obviously logic was not her strong point. He handed her the contents of his pockets.

What an idiot, Lisa thought. This is like taking candy from a really retarded baby.

"Now you just trot on over there and make us a little love-nest," she smiled seductively, "while I take care of a couple of girly things. And then I'll join you, okay?"

"Sure... uh, Honey." He hesitated. "Ummm, that Rite-Aid bag has the feminine hygiene products you requested. I got a selection of flavors, although I think I would prefer the Grape Nehi. In case that's what you were thinking of using before—"

"What 'feminine hygiene' products? I didn't ask for—"

"Oh? When you mentioned 'douchebag' earlier I thought you meant that I should purchase one for you. Now, the reusable ones are obviously cheaper over the long term, but the disposable ones come preloaded with a weakly acidic solution of vinegar and water laced with a wide variety of scents and flavors, and so—"

Lisa made a strangling noise and Randall peered at her nervously. She might find it embarrassing to talk so openly about such a personal subject. So sensitive! But he had heard that women were like that.

"Never mind that, sweetie," she said. "I know exactly where the douchebag is. Now run along, and don't start without me!"

Good God, she thought. If I ever want to let this dipshit into my pants, I'll have to put up road signs.

Randall trotted down the beach with the blanket. Why had she warned him against starting without her? He was planning to start by kissing her. He couldn't very well do that without her.

Although he had practiced on his hand a few times in order to perfect his oscular technique... Was she hinting that she was certain his technique needed no further refinement? His debonair self-confidence must have impressed her more deeply than he had imagined.

He stopped for breath a couple of hundred yards down the beach and looked back. Lisa seemed to be pulling her short dress on over her head. Odd. But women were unpredictable creatures. Possibly she wanted to give him the pleasure of undressing her completely.

He started jogging again. The sand spit was farther away than he had thought. He stumbled onward.

Lisa quickly picked up Randall's valuables and stuffed them into her purse. She pulled on her panty-hose, grabbed her shoes, and padded over to the exit point.

Yes! The red sphere was back! She stretched out a toe to nudge it—

And re-materialized inside Randall's lab.

Whoa! What a rush! No feeling of disorientation, no nothing. Just 'blip,' and she was back, like she had never left. Like walking through an opaque soap bubble. Pretty cool.

She looked around at the humming lights and flickering computer consoles, trying to remember the steps Randall had followed when he activated the machine. It hadn't seemed terribly complicated at the time. He had started out over there — the big red switch labeled "Main Power Supply."

She padded over to the switch and pulled down on the handle. There was a loud clacking noise from inside the switch casing and the colored lights on the computer consoles blinked out. Machine noises wound down all around her.

Now she was here, and Randall was there, and he could damn well wait for her to decide to go back and get him. If she should ever be so inclined.

Lisa slipped her shoes on and shrugged Randall's disgracefully mistreated lab coat over her dress. She twisted her waist-length blond hair into a severe bun before going to the steel door and using Randall's keycard to open it. A few obsessed-looking scientific types were wandering the halls, but she ignored them and tried to blend in.

Exactly how had Randall gotten her here? The place was a maze, and she was afraid to attract attention by asking for directions. She took a deep breath and clipped off down the hall in her high heels.

Just as she spotted an exit door a faded, non-descript man in a business suit accosted her. He didn't look like a scientific-type at all. He looked more like a plain-clothes cop.

"Excuse me, Miss? Have you seen a Doctor—"

"I am a Doctor," she said coldly. "And I don't make house calls."

She pushed through the door and was out on the crowded college campus, leaving the bewildered man looking out the glass door after her.

When she got back to her apartment she was sweating and breathing hard. She felt like she had just made a clean getaway after a bank robbery.

Calm down, she told herself. Calm down and think. You have to play this exactly right or you're going to screw up the chance of a lifetime.

She stripped off the funky lab coat, kicked off her heels, and strode into the bathroom, a trail of discarded sandy clothing scattered in her wake. When the shower was hot, she got in and stood under the pulsating stream for several minutes. She felt tension dissolve from her muscles.

She squirted shampoo into her hand and commenced washing her hair.

Okay. She was home. Randall was so far away she couldn't even imagine it. So they were both safe and not going anywhere for the moment. At least she assumed he was safe... He had said that the beach where he had obviously been hoping to seduce her — she rolled her eyes — was in a place 15,000 years removed from the present. Wasn't that about the time-frame when some of the monsters found in the La Brea tar-pits had been alive?

She made a trip there in high school but paid more attention to her then-current boyfriend than to the displays. But it seemed to her that there were some fairly vicious creatures wandering around Southern California 15,000 years ago. What if she went back and found that Randall had been devoured by a saber-toothed cat? Would she feel guilty?

She probably would. She should go back and get him, and if the machine worked the way it was supposed to, he probably wouldn't even notice she had been gone. But then what was she going to do with him?

She rinsed her hair and applied conditioner. Her long, silky hair was her greatest asset, and she had to take care of it. It had put more men on their knees than she could remember.

It was probably what had attracted Randall, although who knew. With him, it might as easily have been a pimple on her elbow. No way of telling. But whatever it was he wanted, she had it, and the longer she kept it, the more control she would have over him.

She had to keep him from giving up without giving him everything he wanted.

But that brought her back to the question of exactly what he wanted. A beautiful, articulate woman with whom to be seen about town? Not likely. She doubted that Randall even owned presentable clothing.

Pussy? She was doubtful about that too. After all, So-Cal wasn't exactly a monastic republic. There were plenty of little undergrad slut-bunnies even Randall could get into, and some would probably be able to talk math to him. If he made even the slightest effort. And took a shower first. And brushed his teeth. She shuddered queasily, and rinsed her hair again.

And if that didn't work for him, he could always rent one. Just make one call, and he'd have a girl with no panties and a purse full of rubbers standing on his doorstep. And she would not care how much he stank, or how teeny-tiny his pathetic little dick was, as long as he paid cash.

She washed her body lovingly, rubbing her glowing skin with a loofah soaked in creamy body soap. Her nipples hardened as she washed her breasts and she pinched them to feel the answering tingle in her pussy. Mmmmm... She parted her folds and washed her inner lips and clitoris.

Wow. Was she horny!

But not nearly horny enough to let Randall hump her. She had too many other options. Including big hunky Zach. She would pick him up at the airport in just—Shit! What day was it, anyway?

She scrambled out of the shower and dried off, then dug in her purse for her cell phone. It was now 10:15 AM on October 15, 2014. She had lost almost a whole day. And if she were going to meet Zach at the airport in time, she was going to have to leave, like... NOW!

What she really wanted most at this moment was a nap. How long had it been since she had slept, anyway? This whole time-travel thing was crazy. Did her hours in the other universe equal the number of hours she had been away from this one? It kind of looked like that was not the case. No, definitely not.

The jet-lag factor here could be ferocious.

She carefully brushed out her hair and prepared to dress. Zach liked nice undies and he would be seeing them soon, so she should choose something super-sexy. She hesitated, considering. He would like it even better if she didn't wear anything under her innocent-looking little sun dress.

She smiled, thinking of the expression on his face when he slipped his big hand under her skirt and found nothing but freshly waxed pussy. He would probably bring her off two or three times before they ever got out of the car. But she would end up with a wet spot on the back of her dress, and that would definitely not be lady-like.

No. She had to wear something to sop up the juices. She was already wet, and she would be wetter still before she got to the airport. She slipped into a cotton thong and snapped on a front-loading bra that wouldn't hide her nipples. He was going to want to get that off in a hurry.

She hurried out to her car, a vintage VW convertible. The cloth top was already down. She hopped in and ignited the rackety little engine. Onward to the airport! And a big, hard dick, oh yes.

Traffic on the freeways was light, even for this time of day. Which meant that it was slightly less than murderously horrible. She expertly swerved the Bug across multiple lanes and back as she drove.

Ah, Zach. Not your typical football player, he actually had a brain that had not yet been turned to Jell-O by repeated concussions. Football paid the tuition and fees, but he intended to get an education out of it too. With a degree in Sociology he would have plenty of job prospects. Just not very good ones, in Lisa's opinion.

She exited that freeway and looped onto another. Not far to go, now. She felt very slippery between her legs. She wished she were already there.

She wondered: Couldn't she have used Randall's transporter and been there instantly? If she left the 't' axis alone and just set the X,Y, and Z correctly, wouldn't she be able to relocate anywhere in a flash? But he had said something about parallel universes. So maybe if she tried that, she would get to the airport, but Zach wouldn't be there. Very confusing.

She pulled up to the arrivals loading / unloading lane at the airport — and there he was, standing by the kerb with his duffel bag. Major big dude. Also major black. Sometimes she felt guilty that his skin color was so exciting to her.

She jumped out of the Bug, leaving the door open as she ran into his waiting arms. He lifted her off her feet easily and when their faces were at the same level she kissed his warm, full lips. "Oh, Zach! I missed you so much! How was your trip?"

"Sucked, big-time. Guess you know we lost."

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie. I'll just have to try to make it up to you, won't I?"

She thought of his massive rod stretching her tiny snatch almost to the point of real pain, and smiled. She was gushing like a water-fountain, and needed him in her this very moment. Like, right NOW.

"I'll just have to let you try," he rumbled, kissing her button nose.

A bulky security guard approached. "You two need to move along," he said sternly. "This lane is for loading baggage, not for playing grab-a—"

Zach set Lisa on her feet gently and looked down at the man. His massive shoulders were far wider than the guard's fat ass. He had a serene smile on his face, but the guard apparently did not find that entirely comforting.

"Ah, fuck it," he said. "I can give you a couple of minutes. Just don't block traffic, OK?" He waddled off, vigilant for potential terrorists.

Zach stowed his duffel under the bonnet of the VW and folded himself carefully into the passenger seat. It was a very tight fit.

Kind of like his cock in my little blond pussy, Lisa thought. Snug, but not impossible.

She slid behind the wheel, twisted the ignition, and boldly piloted the diminutive convertible out into traffic toward the airport exit. When they merged onto the freeway, Zach put his huge hand on her milky-white thigh. He could completely encircle her leg close to her knee with his fingers.

"So what's the hap's, Babe?" he teased. "Anything new and exciting in academia?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you. I'm going to have to show you, and then you're still not going to believe it."

"Try me, angel. But I hope you got a little somethin'- somethin' else to show me first, whatever the big surprise is."

He slid his hand up her thigh, pushing her skirt up above her soaking panties.

Lisa was glad she had worn them. Possibly she should have worn two pairs.