Hope Among the Deserted

"Wow. Since that exam, have you played back there at all?"

"No. Juliet wasn't into anything anal of any kind, and so I didn't even bring it up. But I'll bet there's a whole chapter in the big gay instruction manual about how to work it, isn't there?"

"Actually, I happen to have had a bit of experience in that area," Lucas declaimed modestly.

"Hot damn! Let's get to it." Will rolled his chair out of the porch and was halfway to the bedroom by the time Lucas caught up.

"So, you're telling me that you're ready to try jerking you off again, but this time with my finger up your butt?"

"In clinical terms, yeah, that's it."

Lucas looked a little reluctant.

"What? I thought you said you had experience. I'm asking you to show me your ass-tickling skills, and you're just standing there? Come on, man, grab the lube and stick it in me!" He rolled up to the bed and climbed onto it.

Lucas watched him strip off his sweats and settle onto the bed, in the same position as before: naked, legs spread slightly, cock at rest, smile on his face. Damn.

"I think the stew worked," he said, as he took off his own clothes and mounted the bed.

He knelt between Will's legs, which he flexed at the knees to bring his ass into better position. He slipped a pillow under Will's buttocks to provide more lift and access. His hole--his lovely tight pucker, virgin to all but the pervy Army doc who opened this world to him, lay before Lucas now, inviting him to attempt entry.

"Now, what we're going to do here could be construed, in some circles, as somewhat gay. Are you going to be okay with that?"

"Lucas, for the third night in a row we're in bed together. Earlier today you masturbated me while you humped my leg, until you blew a load all over me after I told you I loved you. What part of that doesn't sound gay to you? This gay train has left the station. Get on."

"Fuck me, Will, you are the gayest straight man I've ever met." Then Lucas grinned broadly. "How did I get so lucky?"

"Just get up in there, okay? Scientific progress depends on you."

"With pleasure, sir."

Lucas squirted some lube onto his fingertips, which he then brought to Will's ass. He covered the opening with the slippery stuff, and then applied more.

"I'm going to poke in a bit now, to get you slicked up. You might want to push down, like you were taking a shit."

Lucas watching in amazement as the tight knot of Will's asshole blossomed , the shiny pink center opening up as he pushed. Lucas took aim at the delicate tissues, and pushed his slick finger into Will.

"You okay?" he asked immediately, worried about how Will would react to penetration.

"Good to go, chief. Let 'er rip."

As smoothly as possible, Lucas slid his finger all the way in. He remembered his anatomy class and took careful aim before he started pressing along the wall of Will's rectum, seeking the little lump where orgasms are born. He felt his was gingerly along, until he felt its telltale presence. He pushed slightly, and Will moaned. Bingo.

"Oh, god, that's it!" called out Will, his back arching, his eyes closed.

Lucas ran his finger up and down the lump, and then back and forth across it.

"Oh, fuck, that's so good!" shouted Will, clearly transported by the sensations that Lucas was creating.

With one hand busy attending to Will's ass, the other wandered up to his cock and took hold. Will sucked in a breath of surprise and looked down (his eyes had not opened since Lucas first entered him), and then returned to moaning and rocking his head back and forth on the pillow. Lucas stroked his cock, slowly at first but then with ever more urgent rhythm. He felt two things at once: the cock started to respond by throbbing and thickening, and the prostate stiffened up and protruded more from the front wall of Will's rectum. Lucas responded by stroking harder and faster, and by increasing the pressure on the internal gland.

"You okay?" Lucas asked the panting and thrashing Will.

"Oh god, yes. This is amazing. I can feel everything, and it's so good!"

"I can't wait to see how it ends," murmured Lucas.

"You're going to pretty damn quick if you keep that up," panted Will.

His cock was now fully hard, and eager for release. Lucas kept up a demanding rhythm inside and out, and he could feel it wouldn't be much longer.

"Almost there ... almost there ... almost ... there!" shouted Will, and Lucas could see every sinew in his torso tighten with the strain. His pectoral muscles stood out in high relief, his nipples fully erect. His fists grabbed the sheets and pulled them back and forth. His cock leaked a constant flow of pre-cum expressed by the pressure on his prostate.

Lucas's hand were a blur--he was focused on one thing only--bringing Will to an orgasm. A really really good one. One for the record books.

He felt something change in Will's response, though. He breathing seemed to be slowing down, and Lucas could feel a little bend in his cock. Lucas was losing him. He needed to do something.

"Come on, man, do it! Do it!" Will shouted, desperate for the orgasm that seemed already to be receding from him. "Harder! More! More!"

Lucas had nothing more to give. He was already working Will's tackle as hard as he could, but it was not looking like enough. Then he realized what he had to do.

"Will, you are so fucking hot right now. I want you more than I've ever wanted any man. I want you to come, and I want you to come on me right now. Come on me, Will!"

The dirty talk was helping, but not enough. Will was staying hard, but he didn't seem to be climbing the stairs toward orgasm.

Desperate times, desperate measures. He hoped Will would understand.

He leaned forward, crouching near Will's cock, and then he growled under his breath: "Forgive me."

He opened his mouth, and took Will's cock in. Will gasped, and bucked, and thrashed. Lucas stroked, and poked, and sucked. He felt the change, in his cock, in his ass. He could feel the tremors starting. Then the prostate throbbed as if it had been surprised, and then throbbed again against his finger. And Lucas knew that an orgasm had just been born.

He kept stroking Will's cock, and rubbing Will's prostate, and bobbing his head up and down. He had to swallow precum every few strokes, which threw off his rhythm slightly. He doubted Will noticed.

Will, as a matter of fact, was screaming. In a good way.

The first shot of cum exploded into Lucas's mouth. It was followed by another, and another, and another, until his mouth was just about full of the semen that Juliet had been too selfish to find a way to get at. Lucas was proud, and horny, and so fucking in love.

Will was still screaming.

The cum kept flowing, and the prostate kept throbbing,and Will kept screaming, until finally the spasms subsided and peace began its return.

Lucas, still in Will's crotch trying to deal with all of the cum, heard what sounded like laughter, or crying--he wasn't sure. He looked up at Will and saw him doing both. He seemed to be both laughing for joy and crying, as tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"Will, are you all right?"

"All right? All right!?! You do this to me and you have to ask if I'm all right? Of course I'm not all right!" More laughter, or sobs. Not sure.

"Will, it works!"

"Yeah, I could tell," Will replied. "That's not the problem."

"What is? Are you upset that I sucked it? I know that wasn't part of the deal, but it just seemed like the thing you needed."

"No, that's not it. It's just that ..." his voice trailed off.

"What? Tell me--you're scaring me."

"It was the best."

"Well, thanks, I do try."

"No, I mean it was the best I've ever had."

Lucas blushed. "So gay guys do give better blowjobs, eh?"

"It wasn't the blowjob. It was the whole thing. What you just did to me gave me an orgasm that makes every orgasm I've ever had in my life seem like a warm-up. I came so hard I thought I was going to turn inside out. You have ruined me, Lucas. I may never be able to have sex with anyone else ever again. I think I'm in love. Really in love."

Lucas wondered how much of this was Will's standard bullshit, and how much was true. He needed to find out.

Tearing himself away from Will's lovely pubic area, he slid up alongside. He leaned over him, their foreheads touching, the smell of Will's cum on his breath.

"Prove it," he whispered.

Will looked up at him, their eyes connecting, and he knew what he had to do--no, what he wanted to do. He reached up and wrapped his hands around the back of Lucas's head, and pulled him close. Their mouths met, tentatively at first, and then more purposefully, until they were pressing against each other with every fiber of their being.

Finally, the kiss broke, and they returned to looking at each other.

"Okay, so that stew needs to be available by prescription only," joked Lucas.

Will gripped Lucas's jaw in his hands. "It wasn't a potion. It was you."

"We may need to face the fact that you are a little bit gay," said Lucas.

"If it's gay to want you next to me, then I'm okay with that. But now," he said as he put his arm around Lucas, "I need to get some shuteye. Coming for the first time in 6 months kinda takes it out of you."

"Yeah, you were working pretty hard there."

"So were you," Will grinned. "Hey ... um ... thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now get some rest," Lucas said, as he stroked Will's cheek tracing the strong line of his jaw, feeling his rough stubble and his silky skin.

"Love you," Will murmured as he drifted away.

"Love you too," Lucas whispered, amazed and where they were and how they got here. "Always." And he closed his eyes.

* * *

Pebbles launched her daily campaign to awaken the household to her personal needs by, again, landing like a softball in the middle of the bed.

"Ugh. I'm sorry about the cat. I think we may need to invest in a cat door that locks."

Silence.

"Will?" Lucas turned over to face Will's side of the bed.

It was empty.

Lucas blinked hard, shook the sleep from his head, and looked again. Still empty.

"Will?" Lucas called, more loudly. He sat up; the chair was gone. He looked around the room, searching for some sign as to what had happened. Nothing. There was nothing out of place, no indication at all that the man with whom he had been sharing his bed, his heart, had fled. Then Will remembered it: last night. He had crossed the line last night. Twice. At least.

He had sucked Will off--first line crossed--and then he had kissed him. That's two. Then they had said those words--they had said they loved each other. Three strikes, and Will was out.

"Fuck!" Lucas shouted as he fell back onto the pillows. It had happened. He promised it wouldn't, but it happened anyway. He was alone. Again. Fuck.

A sudden crashing noise from outside the room jolted Lucas out of bed. He raced to the sound, naked and panicked, and found himself in the kitchen, looking at the entire contents of his baking cupboard scattered across the floor. And there, in the middle of it, was Will, looking like the kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Sorry," he said, looking at the mess. "I was just trying to get a muffin tin."

He looked up at Lucas, hoping that he wasn't upset. He does so love his kitchen.

"It's okay! It's okay. I'm just glad that you're okay--that you're here. I woke up and--"

"Dude, breathe. You're all tense! And naked, by the way, which I have to say is not a bad combo."

"I thought you were gone," Lucas said quietly. "I thought you freaked out and left me."

Will backed up his chair so that he could roll around the other side of the island, where the floor was not littered with cake pans. He rolled right up to Lucas, and he put his arms around him. Of course, Lucas was standing, so Will hugged his buttocks and pressed his head against Lucas's stomach. Lucas felt the warmth of Will's embrace, and the scratch of his stubble under his belly button.

Will, for his part, was content to close his eyes and rest his head against the gently ribbed surface of Lucas's abs. It was nice here, soft and hard at the same time, and he thought he might like to stay a while.

Lucas felt, with no small amount of panic, his cock rising, responding to Will's proximity, the heat of his body. Lucas knew it would soon brush against Will's throat, or bump into his chin. He had no idea where Will was on the gay-straight scale, but he was pretty sure that being whacked in the face with a boner was out of bounds.

"Will, I'm going to get some clothes on," Lucas said.

"Mmmm. Stay here a minute longer. You're so warm."

Throb. Throb. Throb. Lucas's cock was bobbing higher now, straightening and lengthening, and it would have to make contact soon.

Will looked up at him. "I'm making muffins for you," he said, grinning. "It's the only thing my mom ever taught me to make, but they're pretty good."

Lucas's cock, apparently a big fan of hot guys baking muffins, surged. He felt it make contact, striking Will under his jaw. Will's eyes got big, as he realized what had hit him. He released his arms from around Lucas's ass, and looked at the erection bouncing in front of his face.

"And you'd better take care of this thing before you put an eye out." Will giggled, and then he reached out his hand. Lucas couldn't breathe as he saw the hand approach. Will laid his fingers on the head of Lucas's cock, and pressed down. When it was pointing to the floor, he pulled his fingers off, and Lucas's dick flew up and slapped against his belly.

"Man, someone likes muffins. I'd better get baking." Then he leaned forward and planted a kiss on Lucas's hip before rolling back over to the mixing bowl on the counter.

Lucas stood there, stunned. And still naked. He turned to walk back to his bedroom, shaking his head at the fucking bizarre weekend he was having. He went immediately to his bathroom where we tugged out a load in short order to discourage his muffin-loving cock from springing up again. He dressed and returned to the kitchen to the smell of freshly-baked muffins, then saw eggs and fruit as well--clearly Will was getting more comfortable in the kitchen.

"This kitchen is amazing! I would love to have a kitchen like this," Will greeted him on his return.

This stopped Lucas dead in his tracks. It was the first reminder in days that Will wasn't here to stay. Of course he would be going home. Why wouldn't he? Lucas swallowed down the lump in his throat and sat at the island, smiling.

"This is beautiful. I had no idea--"

"That I could cook? Well, I had kind of forgotten I could, it's been so long. So, dig in, tell me what you think."

It was good. It was very good. Lucas could get used to having another cook in the house.

Wait. Stop. Will was not going to be another cook in this house. He was not going to be anything in this house. He was going to go back to his house, back to his life, and they would be just friends. If he was lucky.

"Lucas, what's wrong?" asked Will, clearly worried by the look on Lucas's face. "You look like your best friend just died."

No, but his dream of what his best friend could become just had.

"Oh, I'm fine. It's just that I can't remember the last time someone cooked for me. It's really good. Thank you."

"Least I could do."

As they ate, Lucas's turned over in his mind what he had just realized. Of course Will would be eager to get back into his own home. In allowing himself to slip into imagining a life for the two of them, here, together, he had completely ignored what Will--what any man--would want: self-sufficiency. He doesn't want to be taken care of, he wants to take care of himself. Lucas felt a fool for having lost sight of that. That was his job, after all--to help the wounded find ways to be self-sufficient. He couldn't selfishly stand in the way of that.

"So, do you want to go to your place today and figure out how to get it whipped into shape?" Lucas asked, as brightly as he could.

Will stopped chewing and looked at him, surprised by the question. He considered it, though, and then nodded.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea. Can't just hang around here the rest of my life, right?"

Yes you could, Lucas thought.

"Great. Let's get going after we demolish the rest of these muffins."

* * *

The drive to Will's house was a torture to Lucas. He had found the man he wanted most in his life, and now he was driving him away, literally. He passed restaurants where he imagined them having dinner; home improvement stores where they would pick out new paint; cafes where they would spend leisurely Sunday mornings with a paper and scones. Every mile brought new, already foreclosed possibilities--things they would never do.

"Dude, you okay? Your eyes are watering something awful."

"Just allergies. They're always bad this time of year."

"Oh, that sucks. Juliet got migraines from her allergies."

The mention of her name was like a kick in the gut to Lucas. He felt Will being dragged away from him. Nothing good could come of this now.

They pulled up at Will's house, and after unloading the chair, Lucas grabbed a measuring tape and some catalogs out of the trunk as Will rolled up to the mailbox. There was a stack of mail that he put into his lap, including one with a Certified Mail sticker on it. Apparently the neighbor had signed for it, and then put it on top of the rest of the pile. Lucas watched from the porch as Will opened the letter. He read the first page, and then dropped it into his lap. He sat, unfocused, unmoving. Then Lucas saw that his shoulders were shaking, up and down, as if he were sobbing.

Lucas ran from the porch and down the walk to the mailbox. He reached out for Will, and then drew back when he heard the manic gurgling coming from his chest. Was he crying? Or was he laughing? Both? He put his hand on Will's shoulder.

"Will, what's up? What happened?" Lucas tried to get a glimpse of the letter that had caused such a reaction, but Will had crumpled it and was twisting it in his hands. Still the sobbing giggles. Giggling sobs? Lucas still couldn't tell. It was hysterical, no doubt.

When Will looked up there were tears running down his cheeks. And still he couldn't stop crying/laughing long enough to say anything coherent at all. Finally, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and then spoke.

"She filed for divorce." And then he began laughing. And crying, sort of. He was a mess.

"Come on, let's get you into the house," said Lucas, getting behind the chair to push.

Will clicked the lock on.

"No."

"What? Why not? You don't want to just sit out here on the sidewalk, do you?"

"Take me home, please, can we just go home?"

"Will, you are home. This is your house."

"No, home. Your place. Can we go now?"

Lucas wasn't sure how to handle this, but he figured that given the shock of the divorce papers, Will could be forgiven for wanting to flee.

"All right, we'll go. We can do this later."

They loaded back into the car, tears still wet on Will's cheeks, and drove back across the city toward Lucas's house. Lucas wanted at several points to break the silence and find about what Will was feeling, but he wasn't sure how to ask. They arrived at his house without having said a word.

Will rolled up to the front porch and waited for Lucas to unlock the door; he turned and looked out at the neighborhood, up and down the street, and heaved a sigh. Lucas, hearing this, closed the door he had just opened and sat on the porch swing next to where Will had parked. They looked out over the yard for a long moment. Finally, Lucas could hold back no longer.

"What's going on, Will? How are you doing with this?"

Will frowned a bit, looking as though he might be holding back yet more tears, and then he heaved a great sigh.