How do I love Thee...

This is a very special Valentine's Day letter that I wrote to the man, whom I have waited a lifetime to love and be loved by. It is very loosely based upon the writings of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Since He is also a prolific writer, I identify greatly with the Brownings. His response to this letter was heart stopping and reminded me why we share a love across all time. Oh, and if you wade through the mushy stuff, there are sexy bits in there too. May Fate and the goddess bless you with this special kind of love.

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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

My love,

If you expected iambic pentameter then I am going to disappoint you. My poetry writing skills leave much to be desired.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Saint Valentine's to be exact. A holy day to celebrate love. And after waiting over half a lifetime to find you, you would think that this our first would be gargantuan to me. It is not though. Not because I do not love you to the "depth and breadth and height, my soul can reach." Far from it, the truth is simply that I love you that much every day and every moment since we met. So Valentine's is an anti-climactic farce.

I say every day since we met, but actually she said it best in one of her letters to him. "You were made perfectly to be loved - and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long." That last bit says it perfectly, "in the idea of you, my whole life long." The innumerable times that I have longed for and bemoaned the desire for a man stronger than me. I have quite literally searched the world over looking for you. So now that you are here, let me count those ways...

*I love your mind.* I love the fact that I have to sometimes pull out my dictionary just to know what you are saying. My older daughter says it best, "I want a man that makes me feel dumb." Not that you would ever humiliate me like that, but that you bring out the best in me. You challenge me with new words, new ideas, and some old ones as well. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27). I have and continue to grow as a person because of your love. Thank you for that.

*I love your strength.* I love that you are strong enough to bear my burdens. I love that when I need you, you are always there. You never make me feel silly for calling, even half a dozen times a day. When I do feel like I am being too needy, you always remind that this is how it was meant to be. But even more than that, I love that you are making me stronger, growing your baby girl. I know that if the day comes when I must face this life alone, when our physical bodies are separated until our souls are reunited in the next life (yes, I know...my twee bullshit and imaginary friends...I will get to that), I know that I will be a stronger and better person for the time that I have had with you.

*I love your caring heart.* I love that you care about other people as much as I do. I love that we have merged our friends and care for them all together. To be able to hand one of my 'babies' over to you when I cannot be there for them and know that you will care for them as well or likely even better than I do is amazing. Perhaps even more humbling is that you trust me to care for yours as well. They are ours, our shared destiny. And as much as I love kneeling before you, I love standing at your side just as much. You truly are my swordbearer.

*I love your spirit.* You face things every day that would break a lesser man, but they only make you stronger, gentler and a better man. Your profile name is Relaxed and that is your greatest gift to me. No matter how bad my day, how many or how terrible the meltdowns, just the sound of your voice can relax me, melt away all of my stress. Because it truly is who you are, who your trials have made you. Your spirit is unflappable, no matter what you face, you are there for me and others. Nothing ever gets to you for long. I do not know how you do it, but I know that it is one of those gifts that you shall instill in me, one of those lessons that you are teaching me.

*I love your wisdom.* Yes, this is different from your intelligence. It does not come from books and cannot be learned easily. It comes from experience. It comes from taking the time to know yourself and from looking deeper than just the surface in others. It is hard won, a difficult odyssey. One that few are willing to invest the time and effort into taking. But you have and as a result you can guide me as no one else ever could. You can point me towards truths that even I do not want to see. And that is the true depth of your wisdom, that you who could order me to do anything, will gently nudge me towards those hard truths.

*I love your quirky sense of humour.* Note that spelling, Sir. You truly do put the 'u' in that word. I love that we spend as much time laughing as we do playing or making love. I love that you can be sadistic one moment and joking the next. I love the tiny lines around your eyes when you laugh. I love the deep timbre of your laughter. It is like a caress on my skin that burrows deep into my mind and heart. I love that we just seem to get the same jokes. Heck, I even love the way you call me 'Mercun. After almost eight years of being the brunt of British jokes about Americans, that is surprising. But with you, I know it is just fun. All I have to say is...yes, no, maybe so is not a safe word. And what is this safe word that you keep talking about anyway?

Now we get to the good stuff...

*Yes, I love your body.* We are the perfect fit. My breasts in the palm of your hands. Your cock inside my cunt. And yes, I am sure one day soon inside my ass too. You were surprised at first how perfectly we fit together. How completely you filled me, without even a millimetre of room. Why would that surprise you, my love? Our bodies were crafted by Fate and the goddess (yes, my imaginary friends, again) to reflect the perfect union of our minds, hearts and souls. So of course, they are perfect mates as well. Of course, I love so much more about your body than just your cock. I could not possibly forget my fuzzy pillow. From that first night that I snuggled my nose into its depths on my couch, I knew that was where I belonged. And of course, your strong arms. When they are wrapped about me, nothing else matters. Your eyes...oh my sweet goddess. I never understood how easy it was to lose yourself in someone's eyes until I sat at your feet and stared into yours. Oh, I cannot forget your lips that kiss me so sweetly. Or your teeth that bites me so hard...and leaves such sweet reminders of you. Or your fingers, oh the naughty places they go, sometimes all of them at once. Because of the wheelchair, it is easy to forget sometimes, how fucking tall you are, but I love the way that my whole body fits perfectly beneath your chin. It is almost as if your body envelops my whole existence in its strength. Wow...is it me or is it getting hot in here?

*I love the way you make me come.* It is such hard work, but you always put in that extra effort to get me 'close' at least. No, seriously, I have been multi-orgasmic most of my life. Hell, an idiot could get me off (and a few have). But with you, it is a whole new level. Sometimes it feels like one long orgasm that just keeps spiraling higher and higher to the point that without your strong arms holding me here, my spirit would float away into infinity...and beyond.

*I love the pain you give me too.* Even when you push me just that final bit beyond my natural masochistic borders, when you exceed even my threshold, still I love it. I especially love wearing your marks. I love that they always seem to last until we are together again. A sweet reminder of you.

*I love your voice.* I love the way that it can soothe me. I love the way that it can make me horny. I love just getting lost in it...for hours sometimes. Those moments when I know what you are saying, but I don't, because nothing else matters, but that you are talking to me. Hell, as we have discovered, you don't even need words, a simple growl or grunt will do.

*I love your smell.* How can I possibly forget that one? Silly admissions time...I could not type those words without looking across the living room at the shirt you left here that first night. And yes, I gave into temptation, put down the laptop and went over to smell it. Two months and it still holds enough of your smell to comfort me. Not enough to form happy puddles on the floor though. Maybe you need to forget another one this weekend? I have that Mona Lisa smile just thinking about how you can put me so deep into subspace that I cannot stop myself from coming...every single time I catch a whiff of you. Yes, you most definitely need to forget another one soon.

And of course, there are the things we do together...

*I love cooking for you.* Just going to the store to shop for us is special. Pushing the trolley around as I plan just the perfect meals for this week. Being Southern, love and food have always been entwined. Feeding the people we love is what we do. But with you, that simply joy is magnified. Hours spent in the kitchen are moments as I pour my heart into every soup, every cookie (COOKIE monster) and dish.

*I love feeding you.* Kneeling before you, presenting the plate of food with my legs spread wide and your cunt naked and open before you. Awaiting your approval before I begin to feed each bite to you with care. I love the little nods, the way your brows knit together when you especially love a blend of flavours. I love the soft rumbles of approval that echo in your chest before you compliment me. And I especially love that you do compliment me, that you acknowledge the work and love that went into this offering. Not to be either sacrilegious or sanctimonious but I am reminded of the catechism...this is my body, broken for you. And you accept it and me with the same sacred love.

*I love bathing you.* Damn, do I love bathing you. When just touching you clears all the cobwebs from my mind, silences the chatter of the thousand voices that have been my constant companions and bane all of my life, bathing you is like a smorgasbord of delight. You fill up my senses (there's another song for us, my love).

*I love sleeping in your arms.* And waking up in them too. I love that we never move away from one another. A whole night can pass and we wake up exactly as we fell asleep, wrapped in one another.

*I love watching TV with you.* Laughing at stupid shit, discussing the deeper things. Hell, I am even coming to 'like' Top Gear, goddess have mercy upon me.

*I love talking with you.* That one should be way closer to the top of this list. I really love talking to you. No matter what we are talking about...and this time I am not talking about just listening to your voice, but an actual dialogue.

There you have it...2,000 words and I am still nowhere closer to telling you 'How do I love thee.' That is the fallacy of Valentine's Day, when you have a love across all time, one day is never enough to celebrate it. Not even a million, a billion or a trillion words can capture its 'depth, breadth or height.' The simple truth is...I just love you. This day and every day until we draw our last breath. And if for once I am right and goddess forbids you are wrong...I shall but love thee better after death (in the next lifetime...and the next...and the next).

Happy Valentine's Day, my soul mate, my partner, my friend, my love, and my Master.

Yours forever and ever,

Frejya