tagHumor & SatireHow to Become an Alienated Author

How to Become an Alienated Author


As you probably know, the Survivor contest for 2008 is well underway. This annual contest is a great opportunity for authors to challenge themselves and write in a variety of categories which they may otherwise avoid. Last year, I enjoyed soliciting story ideas and challenging my character development to participate. However, some authors seem to have a dire need to cry foul and create drama, not only in regards to this contest, but on the bulletin boards and about the seasonal contests as well.

It seems that Literotica tends to bring out the best and the worst in writers. I have seen examples of comradery and support in the Author's Hangout and Poetry Review boards. I am genuinely impressed and appreciative of the emotional support, challenges, constructive criticism, and inspiration that the bulletin boards provide.

Most authors are thankful for Literotica. They express gratitude to those who work to provide the website and its featured contests. They provide quality content and challenge themselves for the sake of improving their writing skills. They view contests as friendly competitions and opportunities to challenge themselves further as they strive to write their best stories. They use the bulletin boards to encourage each other throughout the contests.

However, for some authors, the bulletin boards provide a forum for despicable behavior. Such behaviors as whininess, blatant self-promotion, and unwarranted attacks on others have served to drive a wedge between themselves and the other authors. These authors have successfully alienated themselves from the supportive community of authors that are active on the bulletin boards. Their behavior is so extreme in some cases that one can only assume that alienation was intended. Let's take a look at how an author can achieve such a profound degree of alienation.

Step 1: Hijack a thread and declare yourself as a paid guru of Literotica. I can't even imagine hijacking a thread for the sole purpose of self-promotion. Then to proceed to use the thread for racial slurs and the debasement of other authors is just about as childish as one can get. The bulletin board is an online community. It is based on interactions between members. Therefore, prohibiting others to post on YOUR thread is a great way to alienate yourself.

Step 2: Complain relentlessly. Complain about the time it takes your story to post. Complain about the quality of Literotica content. Complain about the results of each and every contest. Complain about posts that are responses to your original complaints. Complain about others complaining about your complaining. You get the idea. With just a smidge of talent at being whiny, you can keep your string of complaints going indefinitely.

Step 3: When all else fails, cheat. This is a surefire way to produce the desired level of extreme alienation. Submit stories in random categories in hopes of gaining more points for the Survivor contest. Go ahead. It will just lead to less competition for me and the other authors. During the other contests, troll the entries from others and give yourself multiple high scores. After all, the contests judge your ability to get the best score and not your writing ability, right?

Step 4: Criticize others for spending too much time on Literotica or on their computers in general all the while producing hundreds of stories and bulletin board posts a year yourself. There is nothing wrong with being active and productive on the computer. However, I hope no one is living their lives on the computer. I suppose it is an author's duty to monitor the activity of other authors and criticize them for it. Criticism is an excellent opportunity to increase your alienation.

Step 5: Criticize Literotica. Stand on your soapbox and declare injustice throughout every contest. Claim to be discriminated against and sabotaged. Complain about the turnaround time for a story to post. Complain if your story is unjustly rejected for being a collection of grammatical errors. Criticize those who volunteer their time to make Literotica run smoothly.

Step 6: Write a piece like this one. Be honest about what you see happening on Literotica. I hope most authors reading this are grinning and nodding. But, I know that this piece will not please everyone. Before you run to the bulletin boards to claim to be the victim of a witch hunt, keep in mind that this piece is not intended to point the finger at specific authors, except perhaps one who enjoys the attention anyway.

If you recognize yourself in any of the steps that I have mentioned, congratulations! You are well on your way to being an alienated author on Literotica.

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byLadynStFreknBed© 12 comments/ 9130 views/ 0 favorites

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