Humper Family Values

"Harriet, sweetheart," Hilda said soothingly, rubbing her daughter's arm instead of her chest this time. "Just think of all the things we've been missing. No one we know has a johnson bigger than Henry's huge fuckstick. Think about it. Aren't you even a teensy bit curious about how one that big would feel inside your cunny?"

"Geez, Mom," Harriet said, grudgingly agreeing with her cartoonishly- canned mother. "When you put it that way. But what the fuck difference does it make anyway? Henry's still up at the farm having all his dirty wet dreams become reality. I mean, Grandma June does all that shit already."

"But that's my point, Harriet," Hilda retorted with a smile, shaking her own juggies up and down with a laugh. "And who is more of a REAL and GENUINE Humper than your Granny. She just screams Humper the minute you look at her. A 60-year-old still sexy stacked granny with too much makeup, her blouse too low-cut and showing way too much creamy cleavage, and her skirt hugging her big ol' Humper ass. Who is more Humperesque than June Humper? I mean, honestly?"

"Not a fucking person that I can think of," Harriet stated, a smile of realization spreading across her gorgeous face as she pulled her brassiere off. "I'm just gonna shake 'em at the old guy who walks past with his dog real quick. Tee hee."

"Now that's a Humper thing to do!" Hilda tittered, pulling off her own blouse and bra and quickly going to join her at the window. "Let's give him four udders, rather than just two! Tee hee!"

Running to the window and throwing it wide open, Hilda and Harriet leaned out as far as they could, shaking their boobies to and fro for the benefit of the man down below taking his dog for a walk.

"Yoo hoo, up here!" Hilda shouted, the two of them, mother and daughter, giggling like a couple of adolescent schoolgirls as they sported their big naked sets of wobblers. "I do believe Mr. Doggy Walker is sporting a boner! Are you, Mr. Doggy Walker?"

"Hilda Humper, you should be ashamed of yourself," the gentleman scolded her, laughing as he gaped at the two protruding pairs of breasts hanging out the window. "But those four titties sure are a sight for sore eyes. Damn, you Humper women could drive a man insane. Thanks for the view, ladies!"

"Well, that was fun," Hilda giggled, closing the window again as they both swung their big nude megaton titties back into the room. "Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Don't you think it makes perfect sense, Harriet? We Humpers have been given enormous blessings in the wee wee and tittie department. Wouldn't it just be wrong not to take advantage of them?"

"I guess you're right, Momma," Harriet agreed at last, still naked to the waist down, and they both giggled as they shook their powerful fleshy knockers at each other. "I mean, what the fuck? Like you've told me over the years 'There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a wee wee.'"

"And it's attached to someone you love too," Hilda reasoned, one of her fucking bigass funbags hitting her in the nose. "And someone that I know would probably be pretty damn good in bed too, young lady. I mean, Henry's a master with that dick of his, swingin' that telephone pole pecker of his around and getting all the girls to fuck it."

"Yeah, all my friends tell me he's a good fuck. That's for sure," Harriet admitted, pulling on her own areola and sweet ripe nipples until they hardened. "I mean, why should those white trash pseudo- Humpers have all the fucking fun."

"There's only one problem though, Harriet," Hilda said with a tinge of sadness in her voice as she sat her big ass and her big titties down on the bed.

"What's that, Mom?" Harriet asked her mother as she plunked herself down on the edge of the bed beside her, her boobies bouncing wildly.

"Henry isn't here, sweetie. And I don't think he will be here any time soon. You know what Grandma June is like. She'll have that boy so wrapped around her big bazoombas that he probably doesn't even know what hit him yet. She's probably been on that pecker of his from the moment he arrived at the farm."

"Yeah, that is a problem, Mom," Harriet agreed, although she herself was slightly relieved that she would have at least some time to try and absorb this new Humper family philosophy. "But won't he be coming home soon?"

"I doubt it, baby." Hilda told her, shaking her head, and her Humper bra-breaking breasts, from side to side. "When I called the other day, he wanted to stay at the farm even longer."

"Oh, damn!" Harriet cursed, punching her mother lightly and playfully in the right tittie and causing it to dimple and then wobble. "Then how are we going to test his cock out now? If he was here, we could go ahead and try it out and see how it fits and everything."

"Oh, I can't even imagine how it's gonna fit," Hilda moaned, her boobs and her cunny tingling. "Ooooooo, I'll bet it's gonna be tight when it goes in. Oooo, I'll bet it's gonna be reeeaall tight, baby. That big solid fucktool of his squishing in and out and feeling all big and girthy and shit. Mmmmmm, I can just feel it now."

"Gosh, Momma, that makes me sort of horny. Gee whiz, I wish Henry was here, so we could play with him and do fun fucking shit and everything," Harriet complained, jumping up and down on the bed, sending her juggernauts into a wild leaping. "I mean, Humpers are supposed to give pleasure, after all."

"Yes, sweetie, exactly. That is our mission in life. Our raison d'etre. Don't you think we were given these bodies for a reason?" Hilda said with a serious demeanor, poking each of her twin plumpers in turn. "The Humper family has been given a great deal, don't you think? And it's our duty to use our gifts wisely. Wouldn't it be a shame to go through life never utilizing our gifts to the maximum? All of a sudden I feel so proud to be a Humper!"

"You're bringing a tear to my eye, Mom," Harriet said with a naughty wink as she raised one of her breasts and stuffed the nipple into her pouty, bow-shaped mouth. "I feel like it's the fucking fourth of July!"

"No need to be a smartass, Harriet," Hilda said with a girlish giggle, laughing as her daughter sucked her own teat so enthusiastically. "Maybe I did get a bit carried away, but I just feel so glad to be a Humper woman!"

"I feel fucking proud as shit of that myself, Mom," Harriet admitted between drags on her own tittie, licking and sucking her nipple and areola until she felt her pussy tingle. "I mean, cause we fuck a lot and all that good shit that feels good down in our pussies. And Henry's fucking Granny like it's as normal as fucking day, and I mean, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. It feels good as fuck to his big hogleg of a cock. His cock is fucking humongous, and you're right. We should be using it. That thing must be about this size." Harriet moved her hands far apart to indicate the length of her brother's penis.

"And that fucking thing is thick as a fucking log," Hilda laughed, putting her own hands not quite as far apart to estimate its girth. "Hoooollllly feeeucking shit, that thing is fucking heeeeeeeugggge, Harriet."

"Yeah, but a fat lot of fucking good it does us," Harriet moped, looking momentarily downcast, not sucking herself for the moment. "Henry's still up at the farm with Grandma June and Grandpa Ward, and if I know Grandma June, she's fucking the shit out of that boy. He won't be coming home until at least the end of the summer, or maybe even longer."

"I know, sweetie," Hilda said soothingly, feeling somewhat sad herself, knowing that her jugs and her cunny would be the biggest losers. "But at least it will give us something to look forward to. Imagine how great it will be when Henry comes home and we are all together again. Think of all the fun that we can have with that big thing of his, can you imagine? We'll be the envy of every woman in town."

"We're going to tell people?" Harriet asked, incredulously, not sure she had heard right. "You'd actually tell people that we mess with Henry's big fuckstick?"

"Well, why the fuck not?" Hilda reasoned, touching her own boobie and then leaning to bite her own naked nipple, a reddish pinkish hue with lovely large areola surrounding it, it was so fucking large. "I mean, if we're enjoying ourselves, and Henry is humping us something fierce and really utilizing our knockers the way we both know he should be. I mean, here they are hanging out and swaying around, big fat titties, beautiful with huge rosy nipples. He ought to be rubbing and sucking and fucking the shit out of these things. Shoving his dick between 'em and squirtin' that sticky shit all over the fucking place. Think of all the jizz that'll be flying around this house. He'll be squirtin' all the time, and plunging that huge fucktool into us all the time. I mean, why the fuck not tell people about all that wonderful shit?"

"That sounds all great and shit," said Harriet, seeing her mother's point as she grinned with amusement at Hilda's tit self- stimulation. "But if it got out at school that you and I mess with Henry's jumbo johnson, I'll get the fuck teased out of me. You know how kids can be."

"Oh come on, sweetie," Hilda responded, giving her nipple a gentle flick of her tongue. "Just tell them you are a proud Humper woman, and proud Humper women don't let a big fucking cock like Henry's go to waste. If they still don't understand, then fuck 'em."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Mom," Harriet said, feeling slightly better as she poked her mom in her left boob with a finger. "I bet most of them will be jealous as shit anyway. I know Bunnie will be eating her heart out that I have unlimited access to the biggest fucking pecker in town. I'll be the envy of every big-tittied whore at Tafts and Adams High."

"See? Now there's the spirit," Hilda told her daughter. "Be a proud Humper woman, Harriet! Be proud, Harriet! Stand up and jut those huge fucking titties out and say 'My boobs are bigger than any of you fucking bitches, and I'm not gonna sit by and let these plump mountainous puppies go to waste!' That's what you've got to say! WE'VE GOT TO STAND UP AND JUT OUR SHIT OUT, BIG AND FUCKING HUGE AS WE ARE! MEN CAN'T RESIST THESE FUCKING HUMPER TITAN TITTIES! WE WILL NOT BE ASHAMED!"

"I'm gonna do it, Momma! We've got to be unashamed of our Humperesqueness! ALL OF IT! WE HAVE GOT TO HOLD OUR HEADS UP HIGH!" Harriet announced, going to her feet and shaking her oversized jumbo bazoombas until the weight of them almost rocked her full-figured form. "When Henry gets here, we are going to say to the rest of Taft and Adams 'We Humpers will not back down from you fuckers! Laugh if you will, but WE are UTILIZING our TITS and our PUSSIES and big Humper HORSECOCKS!' And then I'll dare them to laugh at our audacity!"

"Now that's my girl!" Hilda said proudly, puffing out her ponderous chest charms accordingly. "We are proud Humper women. We come from a long line of strong, beautiful and horny as hell Humper women and we will not back down! We will fuck and suck Henry proudly! We will let him play with our blouse puppies anytime, anywhere! Anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my wide, white ass, ya hear?"

"Loud and clear, Mom," Harriet replied with a laugh, still making her own melonous cans jump like fucking kangaroos. "If anyone dares to make fun of me because of this, they will live to regret it. No one fucks with proud, genuine Humper women!"

Raising their hands in unison, they clasped their hands together, fingers intertwined and began bumping each other in the boobs. "Hip hip hooray!" *bump* "Hip hip hooray!" *bump* "Tee hee hee, this is a proud fucking moment in Humper history," Hilda giggled, as their two tawdry pairs pummeled each other.

"Or tee hee, maybe TIT TIT HOORAY would be more appropriate!" Harriet tittered, as she and her bodaciously bosomed mother smacked their two sets of giant knockers together in proud Humper solidarity. "We aren't going to let anything stand in our way now! I don't even care if Chuck gets mad about this shit! I'm going to take Henry's wee wee proudly and flaunt that fucking shit! I mean, Missy and Bunnie will probably be swollen with envy over this shit! They both love Henry's cock, and have been telling me for so long how good it feels in their little cunnies! Well, my cunny's important too, damn it, and my cunny won't be denied!"

"Well, hell yeah, your cunny deserves a huge and well-working fucktool in it, baby!" Hilda agreed, hugging her proudly, their titties squashing together as they embraced. "I just wish we could get that well-hung boy home."

"Looks like your wish just came true, Mom," Henry Humper said, walking into the room and giving his topless mother and sister a warm hug. "You two haven't been fooling around, have you?"

"HENRY!" Hilda screamed out loud, hugging Henry's neck so hard that he had to pry her arms and humongous titties apart to be able to inhale. "Why are you home? How did you get here? How are Mommy and Daddy?"

"Whoa, hold on. One question at a time," Henry told her, sitting down on the corner of the bed and gaping at the beautiful boom booms of his mother and sister. "Grandma and I had a bit of a disgreement, so I decided it was time to come home, that's all."

"Disagreement, sweetie? What kind of disagreement?" Hilda asked, sitting down beside Henry and patting his crotch affectionately. "What happened, baby?"

"It's kind of a long story, Mom," Henry told her, taking off his jacket and giving her lush, well-busted body a once-over. "But it pretty much boiled down to that bitch wanting the toilet roll to come underneath, not overtop. I can put up with a lot of stuff from a woman, but not that shit. That was just too fucking much."

"The toilet roll?" Harriet asked in disbelief, her juggers still bobbing up and down, nude and glorious from where she had just shaken her udderly awesome pair of tits. "What are you talking about?" The glee in her voice was evident, happy as shit that he was home so unexpectedly.

"I'm talking about big-titted Granny being unreasonable. I mean, we were in bed all the time and that shit was fucking great, but she just wouldn't compromise on the toilet paper roll. That fucking paper needs to hang down over the top. It makes it easier to tear off a sheet of it evenly when I need to wipe the jizz off the end of my cock after I come."

"Well, yeah, of course that makes sense, baby," Hilda agreed, hugging him again and pressing her big breasts against his stomach with intensity, feeling the warmth of their two bodies touching.

"I've missed you both," Henry told them sincerely, returning his mother's hug by reaching down and giving both cheeks of her buttocks a friendly squeeze, her ample ass more than filling up his huge, masculine hands. "So what's been happening here since I've been gone?"

"Shit, I hate to admit it," Harriet said, pressing her left breast into Henry's forearm as she too took him in a firm embrace. "But even I missed you, little brother."

"Actually, Henry. Harriet and I have just been having a long talk," Hilda told Henry, sitting down on his lap so that her ass was pressed against his private parts and her breasts flattened against his chest. "And we have come to a pretty big decision. We have a new Humper philosophy, baby."

"Well fuck, what is it?" Henry asked, his curiosity piqued and his wee wee provoked by the miles of T & A in the room. "A new Humper philosophy sounds pretty serious. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Henry. I think you have been doing a lot of things right," Hilda explained, smiling as her son gently touched her naked teats that crushed hard against him. "You're out there on the farm, being a real genuine Humper man, giving Granny that big ol' schlong any time she wants that shit."

"Yeah, it's like real genuine Humper shit to do," Harriet concurred with her, sitting down on his other side and leaning in to embrace him herself, mashing her own set of puppies into his left arm. "You're slipping her the stiff one all the fucking time, showering together, sleeping together, and you know that ol' Grandpa doesn't give a fucking shit about it. It's some funny hip shit to do, you know?"

"Wow!" Henry exclaimed, looking back and forth at the two blonde bombshells, shoving their milkwagons up close to him. "Sis, you certainly sound a little different about this Wee Wee Camp shit! What the fuck? And the two of you have your titties out in the middle of the day too! I like that fucking shit!"

"We were shaking our cans out the window at that old guy who always walks that funny-looking dog," Harriet giggled, her own cans shaking uncontrollably. "He looked up and all he could see were these four big bra bouncers hanging out the window. It was a fucking riot."

"Really, Mom, you are incorrigible," Henry laughed, patting his mother's mammoth mammaries affectionately. "One of these days you're going to give that old man a fucking heart attack with those things. And you know how pissed his wife gets when you do that."

"Well, fuck her if she can't take a joke," Hilda giggled, rubbing her finger absentmindedly along the length of Henry's fly. "Shaking my cans out the window is the highlight of that old man's day. If he dies of a heart attack, at least he'll go with a big woody and a smile."

"I thought you two might be up here fooling around," the 18-year-old Henry chuckled, glancing over at his sister's massive whoppers. "Playing with each other's tits and shit. Ha ha ha!"

"Oh, Henry, you are a sillyass fucker," Hilda replied, her index finger tapping his crotch softly, almost thoughtfully. "That's sort of icky for a genuine real Humper. I mean, we might smack our boobies together for giggles and shit, but that's about it, you silly boy. You are such a great fucking crazy Humper man, sporting your big package all proudly and shit."

"Yep, Henry," Harriet added, rubbing one of her H-cup boobs against her brother's arm methodically. "You are one genuine Humper man, and that's pretty hot."

"What's with all this Humper nationalist talk?" Henry asked with a puzzled look in his eyes that took in nothing but tit in its perspective. "I mean, are we getting ready for a family reunion or something?"

"No, not a reunion, sweetie," Hilda chuckled, as both she and her daughter surrounded him with their deliciously fleshy boobahs. "We just had that family reunion last summer, remember? I don't want to get together with those crazy fuckers again any time soon. Though I did suck a dick or two while I was there."

"Shit, yeah," Henry agreed, pawing at his mother's breasts playfully. "I thought our side of the family was pretty fucking warped until I met some of Grandpa Ward's insane relatives. So what were you and Harriet talking about?"

"Well, Henry," said Hilda, smacking his hand away from her breasts and getting serious for a minute. "Harriet and I were talking, and we've come to a pretty momentous decision, that's all."

"What? You're going to try and fuck all the men in this corner of the state?" Henry asked, then ducked as his mother aimed a swat at his shoulder. "Sorry, Mom. I was just kidding."

"No, Henry, and stop being facetious," Hilda told him sternly, moving her large breasts away from him a couple inches. "This is serious stuff."

"Okay, you be Serious. I'll be Henry," he laughed at her, attempting again to grab her boobs.

"Henry, listen to Mommy," Harriet told him with an urgency in her voice as her own breasts moved even closer to his body as the talk progressed. "This is important shit we are talking about, little brother. Just listen and lay off the wisecracks for a sec."

"All right, all right," Henry said at last, prying his eyes away from both their pairs of hooters and putting his hands in his lap, Hilda having removed her fingers from his crotch to converse in a non- distracting sort of way.

"Henry, when Harriet and I were up here taking our bras off and flashing the dog-walker, we got to thinking about what it means to be real Humpers. I got a call from Tammy Faye Humper today, and she told me some things about their family's trailer park existence that got me thinking."