Hunger Within

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The hunger, the love, and the lust has been awakened.
1k words
4.16
19.8k
6

Part 1 of the 2 part series

Updated 10/28/2022
Created 12/07/2010
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Okay guys this is my second attempt at writing on here the first story I lost inspiration for but this one has me writing non-stop so I figured posting it would tell me if its going the way I want it. Let me know what you think the next part is about ready for posting. I do apologize to any one who was waiting on my other story to keep going writers block got the best of me.

*

Ryan

The breeze was cool the air was warm it was the perfect end to summer. He walked the park as he usually did. Every day he walked this path to clear his mind and everyday he left the park his mind more clouded than before. He was tired of feeling empty. He passed the heated gaze of many women unphased. He was used to the onlooking lust. He had all the features of his father with a touch of his mother. He was slightly over six feet with a tanned and muscular build that was athletic. The kicker was his eyes he had eyes that were ever changing at the moment they were green and piercing. He shook his head to try and clear it again. His family was pushing him to find his mate but not in the true sense he felt nothing for the wolves thrown at his feet. He was the next in line to be alpha of his pack he hated that he was being forced to pick someone just to fill a position he wanted to find his true mate. His father told him to grow up that true mates were rare and that if it had been the old days he'd agree but times were hard for their kind and they had slim pickings now so he had to choose from what he had before him. The warm smell of cocoa, orange flowers, and spice just a hint of anger tickled his nose. It was her.

Jenai

She was pissed beyond belief he had broken her heart for the last time. Michael Myles of the house of Angel was her promised mate but she never felt the bond it was as if he held back to prove her right that they were never meant to be.

"Baby give me a chance to explain." Was his last words to her as she threw a vase at him in anger and spun on her heel to leave. Yes leave was the best thing she could do if she didn't want to commit murder he slept with the one person she hated most Tomora the Vampire who staked her in the back no pun intended.

The cool breeze calmed her nerves she loved the landscape of the park the tall trees the wildflowers. It hurt her heart to know the man who told her he would be her everything promised right here in this beautiful spot while picking those very flowers that she would be the one he would come home to the one he would give it all for and now he reneged on that very promise with the taint of lies and promiscuity.

Tears welled in her eyes as she fought for control of her emotions but they got the better of her way too quickly.

She took a deep breath to try and gain control one last time and what she scented startled her.

Tyleya

Tyleya Vendega was sitting in the library reading her new favorite author Laurell K Hamilton's next book she was hooked she loved the idea of the supernatural world and was lost in its pages. The hot were animals and vampires she sometimes wished it was real. She sighed as she read the sappy parts and squirmed in her seat wishing she could be the leading lady in the steamy love scenes. 'If only she could have a supernatural handsome savior come to her dry spell rescue.' She snorted the thought in frustration.

The thought was crazy she knew that the characters were not real nor something that could be found in reality so she slid her book mark in place put the book in her pile of borrowed and packed them away to take home with her. She walked cautiously to her car waiting for some kind of danger to jump out at her.

"You know it's not safe for a hot little thing like you to be out here all alone." A voice sneered behind her.

"Nope it's not safe at all." Another voice whispered beside her.

She eeeeped a girly sound which made her pissed with herself she was tougher than that.

The two men laughed.

Choi

He was on security detail "The D section." He hated when it was his turn because it was always slow being it be the part where the library and wishing well were. It was like watching a snail move pointless and boring.

He was just about to turn around when something peaked his interest voices and from the sounds of the conversations just in time. His best friend and soon to be alpha would have beaten him for slacking on his duties.

He scented fear and anger on the woman in front of him but underneath it all he scented jasmine, Japanese cherry blossoms and Vanilla all her and completely mouthwatering. She was mocha skinned and had some Asian features her body was curvy in the right places. His mate. He growled eager to teach the idiots who threatened her a lesson. His eyes glowed Violet as his wolf rose to the front. He fought to tamper down the urge to turn.

"Back off boys if you know what's good for you." He growled out again.

They laughed again. "Make us."

With that offer he leapt into action grabbing them both by the collars of their shirts and slamming them into each other knocking them unconscious and dropping them to the floor with inhuman strength.

"Are you okay mam? My name is Choi I am head of security. Mam? Can you tell me your name?" He asked concern laced his question he wanted to pull her into his arms and check her head to toe to make sure she was unharmed if even a scratch he would kill the fools at his feet.

"Oh. Thank you. Oh god they... I didn't see them coming." She extended a hand to shake his as she raised her gaze to his.

"Wow." He said in shock at the woman before him.

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9 Comments
AmmelaAmmelaabout 13 years ago
My opinion

Yes there is some room for improvement, but this is really good. Some one said it was too short, but it just get you hype for the next chapter. I feel like some of the haters need to stop being bitchy because half of you don't have a story submitted to begin with. Plus she explained she is new to this, so give her a break.

VampJenaiVampJenaiabout 13 years agoAuthor

Thanks for the feed back guys. I do need an editor with school and work i don't have enough time to edit like i need to and as this is a thing i do for fun it just comes to me n i type it i haven't focused on that i'm a newbie at this so bare with me while i work through the kinks feel free to leave suggestions as to what you like and think needs more work in the story line and i will try and improve it thanks again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Grammar!

As others have commented, it has promise but you need to add some punctuation: commas, hyphens where necessary, mispellings (e.g. unphased - unfazed) and standardise your capitalisation. Please also look at the length of your chapters, this one's too short to get into and make people want more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Can I give this 7 stars?

That was amazing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Five * * * * *

Intriguing start. Sure, you could use a bit of editorial assistance, but this is certainly a solid beginning. I know I'll be waiting for the next installment. I do hope that the next submission is a bit longer. With so many perspectives, you can barely scratch the surface of each individual story before it's time to move on to the next. I'd like the chance to grasp the character and point of view of each individual during the current conflict before the close of the chapter.

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