I Couldn't Help Myself Ch. 01

I focused my eyes on him quietly and watched his stomach rise and fall with each breath. He was no longer wearing his t-shirt and I could see for the first time how fit he was. Not overly muscular, but lean, neither did he have any hair on his stomach or chest, and for a second I thought to myself. "I like that." Again, Matt frustratingly turned his head and breathed in.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I can't go back to sleep." He replied.

"Not tired anymore?" I continued.

There was a long pause until he responded. "No ... that's not the problem."

"Well .. what is it? I asked.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine" He said.

"No really, what's wrong? You can tell me."

He took a deep breath and I could tell it was something that he was finding difficult to express. I had propped my head up on my hand to get a better look at him.

"What?" I softly repeated.

"You're going to get annoyed." He said.

"I promise I won't ... C'mon ... tell me."

"I can't go back to sleep because I'm too worked up." He finally answered.

"Worked up? What do you mean?" I smiled and asked.

"Worked up. - you know ... 1"

He then let out a sigh and said "When you hand was touching me ... I got ... a little ... you know ... worked up."

"Are you telling me that my touching you has you turned on?" I asked, knowing full well what he meant.

"UM, YEEAAHH" He said sarcastically.

Now my curiosity really began to pique and for the first time I could feel the tables were turning as far as controlling the situation went. I had turned him on and he was struggling with it. This in fact turned me on even more, filling me with thoughts and desires previously unknown to me. He was struggling with intense sexual feelings that I had induced and yet he was powerless to relieve them. Knowing this also bolstered my courage, allowing me to proceed in a way I thought I never would ... ever could do.

After a few moments his movements and restlessness became a bit more pronounced as is hips slowly began to sway to and fro as well as upward and downward. It was obvious he was thinking something very sexual that involved the use of his penis and he was acting out in such a way as to indicate that he was actually thrusting his cock into and out of something - something warm and wet no doubt. In this case however, it was just the sheets and bedspread. I laid there smiling motionless watching, my desire growing exponentially and wondering what he could be thinking right then. I knew he wanted some kind of release and wasn't finding it and for a moment I thought to myself "Poor guy - he's so turned on and there's nothing he can do."

I actually began to sympathize with him since I had been this frustrated a few times in my life as well and again my thoughts turned inward. "What can I do to help him? He's in so much agony." I then realized, that here I was lying alone right next to Matt, in his bed, watching him become increasingly sexually aroused because of me. Further more I was becoming increasingly sexually aroused myself, adding to the fact that I remained next to him while he did this and probably most importantly, that we had shared a kiss the night before. All of these things began to coalesce into an urge within me to do something ... sexual.

I couldn't believe what I began to do next as my head reeled with dizziness and confusion, but I pressed on regardless. I slowly slid the covers down and off of his body until it revealed to me the sight of his hard cock stretching the silky pink undergarment to its limit. As I did this I could hear him gasp, stopping his breath momentarily, clearly surprised by the fact that I was doing this. I again truly wondered what indeed could be going through his mind now. By now, of course I had already made up my mind about what I was going to do. There certainly was no turning back now. Any third person standing in the room and watching would summarily agree that a sexual act between two guys was now underway.

I swallowed hard as my heart was nearly beating out of my chest with nervous anticipation. I watched the thrusting of his cock slowly continue, up and down, and then he slightly moaned and turned his head. I was going to take my time with this, because frankly, the fact that I was now clearly controlling the situation was just as intense as it was with any woman - I mean, it really wasn't any different. I didn't think of Matt as a guy at this point, but as a person. A person who desperately needed the touch of another human being - a touch that only I, at that moment, could provide.

Despite my urge to touch, I just continued to watch as his suffering continued. I knew that it was driving him nuts, but I was enjoying it too much to succumb to a quick encounter. I wanted to revel in the fact that he wanted me and that I was denying him. I can't put into words how much this turned me on. It was so taboo, but so incredibly sexually stimulating - I was going to make him suffer and I liked it. This was an new sexual experience for me and I wanted it to last as long as it could. Cruel I know, but overwhelmingly satisfying regardless. After all, it wasn't solely about his pleasure, but mine as well. He would indeed eventually know my touch, but only under my conditions ... he might have to beg for it ... possibly even loudly.

I knew I had to play this right, move things along at a pace that would keep him wanting more without frustrating him to the point of giving in to self fulfillment. In other words, I didn't want him taking matters into his own hands as it were. In fact he made the effort to do so for a moment, grabbing his cock, but I quickly pushed his hand away, denying him the satisfaction, whispering "no, no mister." as I did so and smiled. Again he groaned and softly called out my name.

"Yessss." I deviously replied.

"You're driving me insane - you've got me so turned on, it hurts."

"Do I now?" I slyly whispered.

"And how did I do that young man?"

"You were touching me while I slept and you know it." He replied.

"I was completely asleep and have no memory whatsoever of having done so." I said.

"Besides - if you didn't want my hand there, you could just as easily have moved it, or told me to move over."

" You know what I think?" I asked

What?" he said.

"I think you left it there because you liked it. That's it isn't it? You were enjoying it too much to do anything about it. You WANTED me to touch you ... didn't you?

There was no reply.

"Didn't you?" I repeated.

Finally after another long pause he relented.

"Yes."

There it was, I was in complete control, directing the situation as I willed. And thus began the true foreplay.

"Did you really like it?" I asked softly and slowly.

"Yesssss!" He sighed.

"Were you awake the whole time I was touching you?"

"Yessss."

"Were you hard the whole time?"

"Yessss."

"Did I make you cum?" I finally whispered.

He paused for a moment and answered in a regretful tone ... "no."

"Really? You didn't cum? I'll bet you wanted to though ... didn't you? I continued.

"Mmmmm yesssss." He moaned.

"I'm sorry." I softly said.

"For what?" he moaned.

"For not finishing the job and leaving you so frustrated."

Unbeknownst to Matt, as I was torturing him with my seductive questioning, I had slowly moved and positioned my hand so that it was hanging directly above the bulging shape of his underwear. And within a moment more, I let the tip of my index finger slowly make contact with the underside upper tip of his impressive cock and gently slid it down it's length once and then again. I could see a release of sexual tension as he swooned with pleasure, as if to say ... "FINALLY".

I continued my gentle stimulation up and around the top underneath side of his penis, the part where the bulbous flanges come together to form the tip. To me this is the most sensitive part of the penis and apparently to Matt as well. I then gently applied slight pressure with my thumb and finger around the head and slid them up and around. I could hear his breathing increase, and I continued in silence. This experience was as intense for me as it was for him and I imagined the sensation, trying to duplicate the feeling I was giving him, in my own mind.

One more gentle squeeze and then it appeared. I was flushed with arousal at seeing it. The clear sticky droplet that had penetrated the fine weave of his silk "panties" I called them, moved me to a new level. I quickly seized the opportunity and lightly swept up the liquid with my fingertip and continued to massage it into the "sensitive spot". The wet spot was becoming quite large as the liquid continued to ooze out. I could feel the sticky lubricant on my fingers and the moist cloth could no longer soak up what was emerging. The sound of wet flesh becoming audible with each stroke of my fingers with the occasional stiff reflex reaction to my stimulation - Matt was writhing in sexual agony, completely at my mercy and powerless to stop me.

"What does it taste like?" I asked him, but instead, I removed my hand, bringing my fingers to my lips. With my tongue, I licked them all over and took the taste into my mouth.

"Mmmmm salty - but nice." I said.

The experience was beginning to wear on me as well and my need for sexual gratification began to manifest in an overpowering way. Without further delay, I placed my hand on his lower abdomen and slid my hand downward until I reached the elastic waist band. This time however, instead of sliding over the top, I lightly wedged my fingers underneath to explore beneath. The panties slowly stretched and gave way to my hand as I worked either side to slide them partially down his thighs releasing his cock leaving it exposed and pointing upward. How fortunate I thought - that will make things a bit easier for me.

At that point I slowly moved toward Matt, covering his body, first with my leg and then my torso. I was directly above his chest and took the opportunity to quickly suck each nipple as I slowly made my way downward kissing him again and again all the way down. I finally stopped with my face just below his vertical cock staring at it intently and admiringly. With my arms draped over his stomach, I positioned them at the base of his shaft, applying just enough pressure to point the erection more my way.

"Do you like the way I touch you?" I whispered.

"It's better than anything I ever dreamed of?" He said.

"You've fantasized about doing this with me?"

"Many times." He said

"You have made me cum dozen's of times and never even knew it."

"REALLY?" I said incredulously.

"And just how did I make you cum?" I said seductively.

"With your mouth." He admitted.

"But I've never sucked a cock before." I said.

"In my dreams you have." He laughingly sighed

"Do you dream about me sucking your cock often?" I asked.

"All the time." He said as I began to close the gap between it and my mouth.

I thought that I was notorious for "leaking" when I was turned on, but that was nothing compared to Matt. The clear liquid continued to ooze out on a steady basis forming more than one long drip trail down the shaft and onto my hands. His cock reflexed again and again, working the juice out of the top and down the sides. This seemed to coincide with when I spoke, I suppose it was because he could feel the warmth of my breath just fractions of an inch away.

"What would you like me to do?" I asked, teasing him even more.

"Would you kiss it?" he said.

"Kiss it!? ... You mean like this?" I replied and moved into contact with the "sensitive spot" with my slightly parted lips. And with that I planted a slow gentle lip smack directly on his cock. I could feel the semen on my lips and I licked them bringing the taste into my mouth. There was something about it that drove me nuts, like an aphrodisiac, I had to have more, I craved it.

"How about a french kiss?" I whispered and then proceeded again to press my lips to his cock. Only this time I engulfed him a bit more, allowing me to take some of him into my mouth while I gently swirled my tongue to and fro. This apparently set him off and he groaned, calling out my name, telling me how much he loved the fact that I was actually doing this.

I had to pause for a moment and reflect briefly on what he had just said. I was in the opening salvo of actually sucking his cock - something I had never even dreamed of doing before ... and no matter how I tried ... I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I didn't realize the trap I had entered. A trap that ensnared me with my own desires which made it impossible to resist or break out of. Had he known that I was having a sudden and secret yearning for physical contact while we were in the car on the way to his place. Was he able to sense something I could not and move to ignite something within me that I didn't understand? Was that his plan, to seduce me? Make me think that I was in control of his body, of the sexual circumstances by feigning submission. Was I really the one in control at this point, or did he skillfully lure me in to submitting to feelings I was afraid to explore?

"I don't care!" I thought. If in fact it were true that he was directing everything that was happening right now, then that just turned me on even more. To know that I was powerless to stop him, that he made me submit to something I was so against ... but was now in fact, loving very much. I then fully surrendered to it.

There was nothing more to do than to pleasure him. It was all I was living for at that moment - nothing else in the world mattered. It was all encompassing and overpowering. If a whole crowd of people had suddenly entered his room to watch, I would have gladly continued, possibly even more turned on for their being there. And with that, I lunged, grabbing hold of him voraciously with my mouth. Matt lurched as I licked, slurped and sucked his cock - we moaned in unison. Him with ecstacy ... me with elation.

Much to my surprise, I found that though sucking his penis was rudimentary, pleasuring him was almost instinctive. That is, I seemed to already have an ability to actually stimulate him orally despite never having done so. I suppose it might have something to do with how I like to be sucked and that seemed to translate quite well for me. The erotic feelings coursing through me at that moment were beyond description. I could not articulate the feeling of knowing that for the first time, I was engaged sexually with another man. I mean physically stimulating his penis, and not with my hand, but with my mouth.

I could taste his semen with each suck, the salty, viscous liquid helping to lubricate the experience. The more he released, the more I sucked, the taste of it making me want to have ... no, need to have more with each little bit being swallowed. The actual feel of his penis on my tongue, the hard erection but soft warm and malleable skin conforming in shape to the contractions of my mouth, knowing the electrifying sensations I was giving him, made me dream of him doing the same to me. My mouth was at that moment - for lack a of a better word - a vagina and he was fucking it.

There was no fear or guilt, I actually found it very pleasurable, the satisfaction that I was giving sexual pleasure to another human being. Another human who was grateful for my actions and letting me know with each moan – and never once giving a second thought to the fact that it was a man I was doing it to. I began to question in my mind a slight regret of not having done it sooner.

I slowed my pace and began to focus primarily near the upper portion of his cock. I swirled my tongue, tickling the underneath side of the bulbous and swollen head - his body jolted as he gasped, alerting me to the fact that I had just touched the exact spot of sensory input of his penis. I repeated the action exactly with the same result, only this time he moaned incessantly. I then devoted my full attention to keeping him right at that point, seeing how close I could take it while preventing him from the ultimate conclusion.

But something was wrong - it had only been mere moments when Matt exclaimed that I had to slow down before it was too late.

But it was too late. The pulsing wave of liquid expulsion engulfed him as I felt my mouth filling with warm sticky goo, but I still could not stop. He was almost screaming and flailed left and right with each pulse of cum. I would not release him. The orgasm lasted several moments until all of the ejaculate was expelled and swallowed ... but still I would not release him.

His breathing slowed and his body relaxed as if a terrible pressure force that had been building up had finally breached it's containment and released. He fell back, completely spent and then he spoke.

"OH MY GAWD - I have never been sucked so good before! That was unbelievable, I can't believe how quick you made me cum." He said with a big smile on his face.

Still, I would not release him.

"You took your time and got me so wet! I couldn't hold it back! Surely, you've done this before - you've had to. No one who has never done that could be so good." He exclaimed.

I said nothing as his cock was still very much in my mouth preventing me from speaking. The hard stiffness subsided a bit, but I was not yet satisfied. I had barely had the chance to actually suck him which left me feeling unfulfilled despite the fact that he had just cum in my mouth. And there was no way I was going to stop now, so I just kept at it. Matt continued with his praise of my efforts as if he were ready to lay back and close his eyes to doze off again, but I was relentless and would not give up. I finally let him slide out with a "pop" sound, but I was so over the edge sexually that I found I just could not stop.

Slowly I moved upward toward his face allowing my body to slide upon his. I could feel the wetness of his cock leaving a trail down my midsection as I moved. I straddled his waist with my cock coming to rest directly upon his.

"This is your going away present." I whispered.

What Matt didn't know was that before I climbed on top of him to suck him dry, I had surreptitiously removed my own underwear and was completely naked with him. Suffice it to say he was pleasantly surprised as my wet penis slowly began to slide against his. But what was really turning me on was the very slow, gentle and passionate kiss we found ourselves engaged in. I couldn't get the kiss we shared the night before out of my mind and I wanted to experience it again. Nothing was said, it just was, as our lips parted and our tongues met and I felt a rush of passion begin to overtake me. I had never experienced anything like this and it was so emotionally powerful. The intensity and length of each kiss increased with the next and then Matt put his arms around me. I could feel his hands slide down my back to my bare backside which he began to squeeze with each thrust of my cock against his. It was so warm and wet as I worked the head of my cock exclusively against the same spot on his. I wanted to cum so bad, I could feel our semen mixing and lathering on our cocks as my pace quickened ... I moaned.

"I want you to cum." Matt whispered in my ear.

This only enflamed my passion and I kissed him deeply again, my tongue is his mouth - he began to suck it.

"MATT!" I exclaimed.

"It's all right, do it - I want you to!" he panted and squeezed my ass again.

Just then, I felt a very strange sensation that shocked me but stimulated me at the same time. Matt had reached a bit further and was now massaging a very private area with his finger - the sensation was immense and it made my cock even harder, if that were even possible. He began to apply pressure in rhythm and I could feel the tension on my anus begin to give way to his finger. He was going to insert it which pushed me over the edge. My thrusting increased in speed on his cock, and I tried desperately to hold back the inevitable. Matt was moaning quite loudly as well.