I Couldn't Help Myself Ch. 01

"Oh my gawd ... I think ... I think, I'm going to ... again." he yelled.

That was all I needed to hear as my fight to hold back would now end. I could feel him tense up and quiver and a moment later I felt his cock reflexing and pulsing with cum. I had timed it just right as the magic finally overtook me as well. We were both cumming - simultaneously!

I moaned wildly and yelled out his name as I released hot cum all over his cock while his cum lathered over mine.

"Don't stop! ... FUCK ME! he panted and moaned, taking hold of my face and driving his tongue into my mouth.

"MATT ... I'm cumming! ... you're making me cum!" I yelled.

"I know ... don't stop ... please don't stop! as he kissed me again.

I continued to thrust against him until the wave of pleasure had subsided. With my strength gone I collapsed on top of him, both of us spent physically but very happy ... we laughed.

"Matt, I can't believe how good that felt." I panted and closed my eyes.

"You made me cum twice ... I can't believe that!" he said.

We both laughed again in unison as I rolled off of him to position myself on my back comfortably but still close enough to touch him. I don't know how long it took before we were both asleep again, but we lay there undisturbed for at least a few more hours. The sleep was blissful as we laid there both of our penises exposed to the cool air, the cum having dried on our naked bodies. I must have been dreaming about the morning of sex I had just experienced as I continued to maintain an erection for quite a while.

At about 11:30 am I awoke again and reasoned that I needed a shower. Matt was still asleep. Quietly and gently I slid out of bed, I was still completely naked and was a little apprehensive about being seen by him despite the fact that I had sucked his cock earlier that morning and then shared a sperm bath with him shortly thereafter. It was an irrational feeling for sure, after all, I had crossed that line with him, there should be nothing more at this point to feel odd about, but I did.

Fear and regret began to encroach and I found myself feeling strange and a little ashamed. I never thought that I would ever engage in a homosexual act ... but now I had. There was no denying it, I had experienced gay sex with my friend and coworker Matt.

"How could I have done that?" I thought to myself.

"What is wrong with me? Why didn't I leave last night when he kissed me? Why did I actually kiss him back and why did it turn me on so much?"

That first kiss, the imagery played over an over in my mind as I climbed into the shower and under the warm spray. I kept visualizing and remembering the tactile sensation of his lips on mine, the feel of his tongue in my mouth and the sexual urges I began to feel. Urges that were again at that moment manifesting themselves.

"STOP IT!" I snapped in my brain.

"This was a one time thing that I'll never do again. It'll be forgotten and I'll never speak of it." I reassured myself.

I then closed my eyes and let the water rush over my head and face. I was now feeling very guilty about what happened and despairing a little, but again, my mind returned to that kiss and the feelings began to grow. Not just sexual feelings, but actually romantic ones as well. Matt though not flamboyant, is still somewhat feminine in nature, not annoyingly so, but just right. He is gentle and caring, like a female and the way he interacts with a person, namely me, was as if he was the female, and I responded to it. The flattery of being the target of one's affection touched me deeply, despite the fact that Matt is a guy. No matter how I reasoned, no matter how I tried to spin it in my mind, there was no escaping the obvious. And in the end all I could do was to admit it to my self and then accept it ... I was physically and romantically attracted to Matt and I surrendered to the sexual feeling rising in me again.

Just then, the shower curtain slid open and I turned, gasping in embarrassment.

"MATT? ... What are you doing?" I asked and tried to hide my arousal.

"I need a shower too and thought I might join you." He said as he stepped in.

"Generally I like my privacy." I said in a slight sarcastic tone.

"Are you angry with me?" He asked.

"Did we do too much, go too far too soon? Have I ruined everything?" He continued.

"No, I'm just as responsible for last night and this morning as you are. I could have pushed you away last night. I could have moved over in bed this morning or simply asked you to take me back to my car ... but I didn't"

"The truth is ... I'm struggling with the fact that I actually enjoyed every moment of it, and I can't explain why that is. I'm so confused." I said.

"About what?" He asked.

After a long pause I answered. "Confused about the way you make me feel." I replied.

"How do I make you feel?" He asked.

I slowly turned around, allowing him to see my current state of arousal. I was completely vulnerable at that point and it was obvious I was in need of a sexual release. Despite the warm water I began to shiver as I explained the strange sensations I was experiencing and how he was the cause of them.

"As of last night I was a straight guy ... now I'm ... " I paused.

"What?" He asked.

"Now I'm ... Now I'm trying desperately to get out of this apartment, but instead I'm standing naked in your shower with you, dreaming about last night and this morning and being completely unable to get rid of this hard on .. and ..."

"And what?" He softly added.

" ... And hoping that you'll kiss me again like you did last night." I embarrassingly confessed.

Just then he stepped forward so that our bodies were nearly touching, in fact, my cock was protruding outward in such a way that it rubbed against his, the sensation stimulated me further as he spoke ... and then he kissed me.

"I want you to know that I had no intention of keeping your here to make love with you at all, despite the fact that I've wanted to for so long. I was really surprised that you offered to drive me home and even more when you decided to spend the night. But what really made me fall for you was the fact that you let me get close." He said.

The kissing continued with Matt barely getting his words out in between.

"Mmmm ... On the couch, when I was making a pass at you, ... you responded, and that made me extremely happy. .... But I knew I couldn't do to you what I really wanted to do ... So I just kissed you."

"When you didn't pull away, and then actually kissed me back, it was like a dream come true, I wanted you so badly, but I was afraid to tell you. He continued.

As he spoke our bodies pressed together under the water, my heart beating so wildly over his words. Our faces cheek to cheek as his continued to whisper in my ear about how he always fantasized about me and now his wish had come true. All these things reinforced the sexual and romantic feeling I was beginning to have. He then nibbled my ear and placed his lips on my face kissing me gently as he made his way back toward my waiting mouth. Gently his lips pressed against mine and then his tongue slid into my mouth and I reciprocated. We slowly embraced one another as the kissing quickened and increased. It felt so excruciatingly good, his lips were soft and wet, like a woman but it was his tenderness and passion that moved me and I was flushed with emotion.

A moment later I felt his hand slide down my body and then his fingers slowly fondled my penis. The feeling of being touched by another man was extremely titillating and made me jolt slightly.

"I'm going to give you a blow job." He whispered and kissed me again.

I sighed, but I did not resist, I didn't say anything. I just closed my eyes and anticipated the moment I would feel him take me into his warm wet mouth. I didn't have to wait long either. The sensation was just as he described in the car ... with my eyes closed, it really felt no different than if a woman were doing it. But in my mind I knew it was a man, it was Matt, and he knew exactly how to suck me in a way that I could not hope to last long. The saliva mixed with semen made for a very lubricated experience, his tongue tickling me in the spot that sent pulsing sexual pleasure coursing through my cock and by extension, my entire body. The deliciousness of it, the pain of trying to resist, but it was impossible. No matter how hard I tried, I could not forestall the inevitable. My knees began to buckle as the moment arrived, the wave of orgasm overtook me and I flailed, grasping to balance myself against the wall.

"MATT ... OH GAWD, MATT!" I gasped.

The pulsing continued for several moments as I could feel him drain me of my seed, sucking and pulling with such tender ferocity. My sperm, taken from me, stolen through the workings of another man's mouth. I felt so helpless at that moment, almost as if I were being raped ... but I absolutely loved it. I was under his complete control and there was nothing I could do to resist. Slowly my hardened cock slid from his mouth, the swollen head coming to rest on his lips as he continued to stimulate me with his tongue. Despite having just cum, my sexual rage did not abate as I looked down into his eyes, still gasping for breath. But what came out of my mouth next surprised us both.

"I want you to fuck me." I said.

The words trailing off but repeating over an over in my mind, and I wasn't even sure if I had actually said them out load. Matt looked at me with a surprised smile, but did not move.

"Did you hear what I said? ... I want you to fuck me." I repeated.

"NOW!" I said.

Matt stood up to meet me, our faces close together. I could sense he was a little hesitant, but I wasn't going to let him out of that shower without feeling his cock inside me. I reached down and grabbed it firmly, he was oozing again and I used it to my advantage, slowly stroking it over and over, keeping him hard while I began to kiss him.

"I want you to fuck me." I softly said for the third time and then slowly turned around.

We were going to take this slow, there was now way this was going to be a quick bang, but something else. I wanted to pleasure him, I wanted him to use my body, I wanted him to cum, I wanted to feel him inside me. I remembered how good it felt when he touched me back there while we were cock to cock in bed and the feeling turned me on like I've never been, only this time it wouldn't be his finger.

Feeling him close behind me, I placed my hands on the shower wall in front of me, the water pouring down my front side. bending over slightly I slid back a few inches until I could feel it. "It" being his hard wet cock, wet not from the water, but from his semen. Gently I pushed back a little more and could feel the head gently start to part my cheeks. It slid into the crevice so easily and I began to gyrate to better feel him rubbing against the opening. Up and down it went, slowly but methodically, stimulating me into a full hard on again. Matt placed his hands on my hips and pulled my closer as he began to thrust in and outward. He had not yet penetrated me but, the feeling of being fucked was so intense, I started to moan like a girl. I also started to feel dirty in a good kind of way and let my words come as they would.

"Yesssss ... put it me ... I want to feel that cock inside me!" I said.

I could feel Matt reposition himself to allow his cock a more horizontal approach to me and the opening. He thrust but could not open the door. Again and again, until I could feel it beginning to give way. I relaxed a bit to expedite the insertion. To help him I began to push back myself again and again until ... FINALLY!

I gasped and moaned!

The feeling of him sliding in was so incredible, the hardness of his cock was actually very soft and caused me no discomfort at all. The feeling of his cock up my ass was not only physically stimulating but mentally and emotionally as well. I was being penetrated by a man, fucked like a woman from behind. It felt so liberating to completely surrender and let him have his way with me. I knew I was pleasing him and that also turned me on. The continued thrusting in and out sent curious sensations from my ass up through my scrotum and into my penis. Without any direct physical stimulation there of, I was still being stimulated, only in a way I never knew I could.

"Oh Matt ... I can't believe how good this feels." I panted.

"Does it feel good for you?" I asked hopefully.

"YESSSSS! He moaned.

I knew words can cause arousal as well and so on I continued to verbally stimulate the action.

"I never dreamed how good this could be!" I panted.

"How long have you wanted me this way? ... Tell me how long and how badly you've wanted me!" I said barely able to get the words out between breaths.

"Tell me how much you've wanted to fuck me!"

I continued to arch my back and swing my ass to and fro in an effort to facilitate his ejaculation. His cock was inside me sliding in and out and I could tell be his intense moaning that he was enjoying it.

"I can't believe this is finally happening." He panted.

"I've wanted you for so long ... I've wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to suck your cock and fuck you since we started working together." He continued.

"Why didn't you ever take me in the office?" I asked.

"We both worked late together more than once ... I could have sucked you at your desk. ... You could have fucked me on the conference table. Oh Matt, why didn't you?" I moaned and as imagery of what I had just asked began to play in my mind.

"I never thought you would have." He replied.

"Look at us now ... I'm in your house and you're fucking me! You're fucking me and I'm loving it!" I actually squealed!

The physical feeling of penetration was beginning to overwhelm me. Pleasure centers I didn't even know I had were being stimulated, my cock was fully engorged and dripping a continuous flow of warm sticky semen, when suddenly I realized that I was again at orgasm's door. Being made to cum and without even touching my cock, the feeling of being fucked in my ass alone was enough to induce me into ejaculation. I was incredulous!

"How can this be?" I thought.

"MATT! ... I can't believe this ... I'm going to cum again ....!" I screamed, my breath all but gone.

And then it happened. Matt knew I was going to blow and at the precise moment reached around with both hands and grabbed my cock. Stroking it wildly and thrusting his cock over an over into me, I began to cum and I couldn't stop it. Again my knees began to buckle under the pleasure of releasing again, and the feel of his cock in my ass only intensified my loss of strength, I fell to my knees with Matt following my down without missing a beat. I was now face down in the shower, my ass sticking up and outward while Matt continued thrusting. I had no energy left at all, no strength, all I could do was kneel there, bent over that he could continue to fuck me vigorously while I squealed like a girl.

The sex lasted for several minutes as Matt was unrelenting, using me however he wanted while I could do nothing except allow him to continue. I just closed my eyes, taking in the sensation, knowing that I had been made to cum by another man who's desire and will was to fuck me from behind.

A moment or two later I felt him pull out, knowing that he had not yet ejaculated or experienced an orgasm. I suddenly felt a little concerned and a little disappointed that he had stopped.

"What's wrong? Why have you stopped?" I asked

"I want you to face me" He whispered as he slowly sat down in the tub.

Thankfully Matt's shower bath was one of those extra wide comfort baths so there was plenty of room for me to straddle him which I gladly did. This position was far better than the first and as I lowered myself onto him, I was once again entranced at the feeling of him penetrating me and as before, I became fully erect. I began to ride him in a slow, methodic rhythm, completely lowering myself onto his shaft, plunging his cock further and further into me. Leaning forward, I grabbed his face, pulling him close to lock into a long and passionate kiss. His tongue was warm and wet as he slid it in and out of my mouth. Our breathing was intense with each smack of our lips and lap of our tongues.

"Do you like being fucked?" he asked.

"Yes." I replied and kissed him passionately again.

I continued my repetitive squat, up and down on his cock as my thoughts turned inward. There was certainly no going back now. I was letting a friend ... a man insert his penis into me and for the life of me, it was so amazingly pleasurable that I didn't want it to stop. The erotic feelings that came over me were suddenly very effeminate and I found myself not only assuming the role of a woman but acted out accordingly. Indeed my only desire at that moment was to pleasure my male friend. Indeed I so desperately wanted to make him cum inside of me and I absolutely would not stop until he did. Without missing a beat I arched backward as I pushed down on his cock with renewed vigor, my cock dripping with oozing semen.

"How can I make this more pleasurable for him?" I thought to myself.

"What can I do that I'm not already doing to make him cum? I want him to cum so bad!"

It didn't occur to me that Matt's sexual prowess was such that he could indeed continue for a substantial amount of time, but it was now becoming quite evident.

Just then, I felt Matt lean forward slightly, just enough for his mouth to envelope my penis which he so delicately did. The plunging motion allowed for my penis to thrust inward and outward of his mouth. This was too much for me to take and I felt myself losing control as once again orgasm approached. I wailed like a woman almost to the point of tears. I was being sucked and fucked simultaneously and If I had the energy to scream, there is no doubt that I would have.

Never had I been so sexually stimulated or satisfied in my life. Never had I surrendered to such pleasure and emotion nor would I ever have believed that the plateau of sexual ecstasy rested not with a woman, but with a man. And not just any man, but my friend Matt. He fucked me quite literally to tears as I again felt the pulsing of my cock release what little my body had left, into his mouth. I couldn't catch my breath as I bellowed his name over and over again.

Just then I felt him stiffen and he began to moan. I summoned what little strength I had left and voraciously drove myself up and down on his cock.

"FINALLY!" I thought.

And instantly I could feel his cock stiffen over and over again as he moaned with pleasure ... he was cumming. I continued to straddle him and let him thrust as much as he wanted to until the episode ended. Exhausted, I fell forward on to him, our breath, all but spent.

Despite the fact that we had completed the act, I relished in the fact that his penis was still fairly hard and still inserted into me. I loved the feeling of it despite the fact that we were no longer moving, and I wanted it to remain. The water continued to flow over my back as I lay there on top of him, slowly gathering my breath, I closed my eyes and smiled. We must have laid there for a half an hour or more, his penis still penetrating me.

End of Part 1.