I Don't Know Where It's Been Ch. 02

"Look Kate, I didn't give up on our marriage. When you started this, all those months ago, you gave up on our marriage. I hope you're not holding out on the hope that I'll get over this. If you had any idea how mad at you I am, you would, or should be scared right now. You took something I have held so dear for so long, and shattered it. I am not going to wonder if you are going to do it again every time you leave town. Who the hell am I kidding, every time you leave my sight? I won't live like that.'

"I look back over this last year constantly. I don't even know when the last time you told me the truth was, and you know what, I'm done caring. If you want to hold on to some dilution of this thing that used to be our marriage, that's up to you, as far as I'm concerned, you have my signature on those papers, and you can do what you want. I'm sure the boyfriend figured out a way to talk his way out of things at home, you two can probably pick right up where you left off. Now you have the added bonus of not having to think up some clever little story to keep me happy. Of course you don't have this nice house to come home to any more, but I guess you have to have priorities."

The last sentence made her drop her head, and I was pretty sure had taken the fight out of her. She stood there looking at the envelope in her hand for a minute, and then turned towards the door. When she got there she turned to face me. "You may not believe it, but I am sorry, and I really do still love you. I know this is all my fault, but I'm staying at my mother's if you'd like to call when you get back."

I ended up skipping the steak, and salad for the chips, and soda. I suppose loosing your appetite can be a good, not real sure why, but it could. Anyway, I at least found out that not being able to sleep has its advantages. You know there is almost no one but truckers on the road at three-thirty in the morning. I was into the mountains by daybreak and into the river shortly after that. But after snapping off three of my best flies, I made my way back to shore.

I didn't want to look too eager at the B&B I'd planned to stay at, so I put on my hiking boots, and decided on a walk instead. Jesus Christ I was mad. When I lost the feeling of security that I've felt for so long, all I could feel was pain, and shame. Shame because I felt like I had failed at something so important. It didn't matter that I wasn't the one that had done the deed, I felt that if I had been doing everything I should have, this wouldn't have happened. I just kept coming back to the fact that she could have hidden this from me for so long. The thought that she could be that dishonest had never crossed my mind. It's humiliating to think of the times she cake home from a day with him, and see her sitting there with a little smile on her face, and not know I was the farthest thing from her mind.

If you've never had the pleasure, I advise you strongly to forgo it. I didn't do a lot of fishing. I did do a lot of walking. A couple of times I had to remind myself of what Craig had told me about getting stuck inside my thick skull. I was bouncing off the inside day after day. I went through all of the many revenges I could rain down upon them, even of all the ways to kill them. Too bad I'm such a CSI fan, I couldn't think of one really fun way of cutting off dickhead's balls, without them coming looking for me. On the last day in the woods, I looked around, and figured I would enjoy this view a lot more then the inside of a cell, and if I couldn't get away with doing some really serious damage it was better to just let him live with the threat of my stepping up behind him some day.

Then it hit me in my car on the way back. That's all I need to do, give Kate a reason to play the martyr. I go do something stupid, like threatening her guy, and she thinks she has some hold on me. I made my decision right there. My first stop would be at Debra's. I just need to tell her to sign those papers, and give them to me. I don't want her holding out any hope of this blowing over. That served to go the blood pumping, and I upped my speed a little.

I made good on my word, and pulled off the freeway, and into Debra, and Greg's neighborhood. I pulled up out in front of the house, and parked. I sat there in the car looking at the house thinking of getting this one last thing done, and I could be done with her. Okay, so maybe it would take me a while, but eventually I'd sleep thru the night again, and this will end. In the mean time I would just have to deal with shit as it happened.

I got out of the car, went up to the front door, and rang the bell. My luck was holding, who should answer but the mother-in-law. "Well Dan, what brings you here? I thought you were done with us."

"Not quite yet. Is Kate here?" I asked.

"Yes she is. Come in, and I'll go and get her," she said closing the door.

A couple seconds later, Kate came in with a smile on her face. "Hi, I thought you were going fishing, are you back already?"

"Yeah, I didn't do much fishing. Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I'm just here to get those signed papers, and I'll have them filed tomorrow," I said watching her smile leave her face.

"Just couldn't wait, huh? Monday wasn't soon enough?" she asked.

"Look, don't start with me," I said a lot louder then I had intended. "Look, just please give me the papers, I'll have them filed, and then it'll be done. I just finished doing nothing but thinking for the better part of four days, believe me when I tell you, I just want this over with."

"Were you thinking, or condemning? It doesn't sound like I faired very well in your thoughts," Kate said.

"What did you think? Did you think I wouldn't sit down, and see what you had been doing for the last year? No, you are not real high on my worry about list. Consider yourself lucky, it's only been a week for you, it's been a year for me. Please give me the papers I don't want to do this here, or now," I said.

Kate stomped out of the room, coming back a minute later. She snatched a pen from the table, and started rifling through the paperwork. When she got to the pages that needed her signature I watched her scribble it down quickly, and move on. After she finished, she slapped the pen on the table, and crammed everything into the manila envelope. She straightened up, and almost threw it at me.

"There all signed and ready for filing. You can leave now," she said.

"You're right, I can. You can stand there and play the hurt soul all you want. I finally saw the full extent of what you've been up to for the last year. As far as I'm concerned, I let you off easy. With laws, and courts the way they are these days, I probably could have the three of you fired, but I don't have enough interest to even care any more. If the saying is true, one of these days the worm is going to turn, and if I were you I'd get a big umbrella, because the shit is going to be falling on your head. Send Greg over, and I'll help him load what you want into a U-Hall, and that'll be the end of it," I said.

"Fine, he'll be there tomorrow," she said.

"Fine, oh and Kate…, that will be the end of it. I don't want to be friends or anything else. I get to chose those kinds of people, and well, let's face it you will never be on that list. Thanks for signing these, take care of your self, and have a nice life. You can come into the room now Debra, good-by to you too," I said and headed out the door.

I drove away with mixed feelings. I knew I was well rid of her, but life was going to be a lot different. I would be lying if I said I didn't still have felling for her. Hell after that long how could I not? She'd done a pretty good job of killing them, but it was going to take a while get over this, if ever. Live and learn

The End