I Remember Her How She Used To Be

That night of the country fair was the first time we made love. As if the backdrop of carnival lights were our nightlight and the calliope music our romantic serenade, I'll never forget our first time together. Of course, being that it was fated for us to be together, Becky became pregnant with Elizabeth. We were so young but if it wasn't for Becky knowing that I was the one and that we were supposed to be together, I wouldn't be standing here and talking about her today. Having just left her, I miss her already.

As my mechanism to help me through my sorrow, when I think I don't love her anymore and when I question why I married her in the first place, I remember how she used to be. Then, I'm proud to have been her man. I'm proud to have found and spent years learning how to love the love of my life. Just as I'm glad she told me that I'm the one, I'm glad she showed me how to love her. She was the one, my one and only, my special woman and I was her special man.

Never have I loved anyone in the way that I loved her. Never will I love another. She knew before I did that we were meant to be together, but now I know better. Fortunately, I saw her light before it was too late and before it dimmed from her eyes for the last time. When I tried to awaken her that morning of her death was the first time in her life that she didn't have that smile and didn't greet me with a kiss and an I love you. With the death of her, her smile was seemingly gone forever, but not from my mind, from my heart, from my soul, and from my dreams. With the death of her, I thought it would be the death of me but now I know that I must continue to show her the man she spent years to make of me. Whenever I think of her and see her in my dreams, she'll always be smiling that smile that made me fall in love with her.

As you all know, I buried Becky this morning on the hill on the other side of the barn, where we first kissed. The carnival is back in town and it was this time 30 years ago that we attended the county fair. Becky loved the county fair. In celebration of her life, I plan on attending the fair to ride the rollercoaster, the Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, and even sit on the park bench to eat an ice cream and, I welcome you all to join me. Becky would have wanted me to do all that and she'll be there in spirit by my side, while I'm doing all that. Celebrating her life, by paying tribute to her in her death, she'd be happy knowing that I did that for her and remembered her in that way.

In the course of our marriage, there's been other women I've thought about and have been tempted by, but once I married Becky, I never crossed that line of mistrust and disrespect. Our marriage vows too sacred, some things are more important than a quick roll in the hay and a blowjob. Besides, just as she knew I was the one, she'd know if I cheated on her with another.

I met with the funeral director and gave him her picture. I wanted her to have that same soft smile she had I met her and when she met her maker. It's funny how her smile never changed and was the last thing to go.

Thank you for all coming to this church memorial service.

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