I Should KnowbyDG Hear©
Thank you to LadyCibelle and Techsan for editing my story. I couldn't submit it without their help. They are the best.
"Mr. Wilson, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, Tim, feel free to ask me anything, anytime. What can I help you with? By the way, just call me Ray. I know I'm older but we work together and it's fine with me. I call my dad Mr. Wilson," I laughed.
"Ray, I want to ask my girlfriend to get married. I'm afraid, because so many marriages end in divorce and I don't just want to be one of the statistics."
I laughed out loud, "Tim, you should be talking to your mother, not me. Your mom and dad were married nearly twenty-three years before he passed away a few months ago. I've been married and divorced three times in my life."
"Mom told me a lot of what works in a marriage, but I think that a young couple need to understand the pitfalls if they're to make it. Not being disrespectful, but there are reasons why your marriages didn't make it. If I could learn to avoid some of those types of mistakes, I believe it would give Katie and me a better chance of survival."
I looked at the young lad and thought about how mature his thinking was. Here I was his foreman in our warehouse where I've worked twenty-five of my forty-five years. He was hired about two months ago and was a hell of a good worker. His mom was one of the secretaries that worked here and helped get him an interview. I remember telling him when I interviewed him for the position that if he ever had a question or a problem that my door was always open.
I sat there a few minutes and started to think about my past.
The kid was right. I was married and divorced three times. My first marriage was when I was really young. I don't think I was ready for marriage but my hormones thought differently. I had sex with my girlfriend at the time and of course she got pregnant. I liked her a lot but was it love? Looking back I think I loved her but it was the hormones doing most of my thinking. We did get married and she had the child. Two years later we had our second one. Now we had one of each, a boy and a girl, and she started on birth control. Our life was full of ups and downs. I can't paint a pretty picture here. I was an immature kid that thought I should have my cake and eat it too. Whenever we had an argument, I headed to the local pub and drank. A couple of times I had sex with a bar broad. All I wanted was to get my rocks off.
Life went on for about twelve years. I wasn't the best husband but I wasn't the worst either. I liked my sports and went to a few different games a year. When the kids got a little older, I took them with me. As far as sex was concerned I thought our sex life was pretty good. I didn't realize it at the time but when we both put love into the equation, it was much better. She got off most of the time, so I figured I did my job, forgetting about the cuddling and romance.
One day Marsha, my first wife, and I were invited to a Fourth of July pool party. We had just had another argument over God knows what. She told me to go to the damn party alone. I was pissed and, of course, I went. There were about fifty people at this party. A lot of the people I had grown up with. There stood Jessica Parker, every guy's wet dream all through school. I remember wanting to lay this gal, but she always teased me. I heard she was back in town. She was recently divorced from an attorney.
As the party went on, I approached Jessica. She had taken her shawl off and had only her two piece bathing suit on. Damn, she looked hot. I began talking to her and we were both getting kind of high on booze. I asked her if she wanted to take a walk back by the pine trees. It was dark back there with very little lighting. They had a few lounge chairs set up back there. Jessica and I began talking about our old school days and I reminded her of how hot she was and how I always dreamed about her.
She smiled and said, "Do you want that dream to come true?"
God, I couldn't believe my luck. I pulled off my swim trunks and she came over to me and while facing me, pulled her bottoms to one side showing me her shaved pussy. She climbed on my lap and let my cock slide right into her wet cavity. Damn, did it ever feel good! She rode my cock until I spewed my juices deep into her cavern, as she was making noises of climaxing also. We both were coming and I looked up and there stood Marsha. I had no idea she was there. I was totally lost for words. What do you say to your wife who just saw you fuck a woman in front of her?
"Hope you enjoyed your piece of ass, Ray. You'll never get another one off me," spoke Marsha.
She turned around and headed out of there. By the time Jessica got off my lap and I got my shorts back on, Marsha was gone.
Jessica didn't say much of anything. She pretty much said, "Thanks for the fuck," and walked away.
I wasn't sure what to do. My marriage, my kids, my life were all turned upside down; all for a fuck. I drove home but of course she had the storm doors locked from the inside, so I slept in the car.
The next morning one of the kids let me in. Marsha got up and wouldn't talk to me. I begged and pleaded with her to take me back. I promised I would never do it again. After days of arguing, she told me I could live there for the sake of the kids. I think back now how many people stay together for the sake of the kids. Are the kids really better off in a home like this or a single parent home? We could act like a normal family but there would be no sex. For the time being, I was happy; I figured eventually things would get back to normal.
We did stay together for the sake of the kids. I pretty much ruined our sex life. It was a couple of months later when she finally gave in. One evening after we went to bed, I cuddled up to her butt, pressing myself against her. It wasn't the same; she didn't put any love into it. Once every two or three months she would spread her legs and we would have sex. She called it her wifely duty and did her best not to put anything into it. When our daughter turned eighteen, Marsha, handed me divorce papers. I was almost dumbfounded.
"What the hell is this all about?" I asked.
Marsha, said, "I stayed with you for the last six years for the sake of the kids. I lost my love and respect for you; you know when. I'm going on with my life now. I'd like to say it was fun, but it wasn't."
There was nothing more to say. I often wonder how many marriages are out there like mine was, everyone going through the motions, but deep down suffering in their own way.
Marsha worked at an attorney's office and had all the papers ready. She handled all the bills and had everything in perfect order. She actually had everything broken down in two stacks of who got what. She even had two savings accounts set up, separate credit cards, everything divided equally. She must have been working on setting this all up for the last six years. I was just too blind to see.
There was no reason to fight anything. Her love for me, if it ever existed was gone. I guess I was a guy just going down his own path, doing my thing, till it bit me in the ass. I moved out with my share of the equity she had set up and moved into an apartment.
The kids were now eighteen and twenty, but stayed with their mom till they finished their education. I didn't pay child support because they were older and she didn't ask for spousal support since she made as much as I did. I found out later that she told the kids a year or so before that we probably wouldn't be staying together. I guess it lessened the blow for them. They're both married with their own families now. I see them all on special occasions but not much more. I love them but I guess a lot of not seeing them was because of how I screwed up their lives. I was there for both of their weddings. Their mom took care of most everything. She did ask that I not bring my wife at the time. It was actually a good thing which I found out later, since the next two marriages didn't last but a couple of years all together.
Marsha got remarried about two years after our divorce to an attorney at their firm. I honestly don't know if she ever cheated on me but it's all in the past.
Wife number two was Brenda. She was more of a rebound wife. I met her at the bar and we talked regularly and of course it led to sex. I didn't like living alone and Brenda was also divorced. One day while I was pumping it into her, I guess I found a moment of weakness and after I came I told her we should move in together. She was probably five years older than me. She could sure move those hips. She also gave great oral sex. I often wondered how she became so good at sex. She could do it all. Sexually, she was great, but that's where it ended.
She wasn't much of a cook and we didn't have much in common except for the sex. It was only about a year after we got married that I found her screwing a contractor. I decided to come home for lunch for some sex and found this asshole in my bed pumping Brenda for all he was worth. I grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him off of her. I got in a couple of good licks before he was able to get up and run out the door.
Brenda sat up on the bed and screamed. I told her to get her ass out of my bed and get the fuck out. She grabbed a robe and ran out, afraid I was going to hit her next. I went to the closet and started throwing out anything that belonged to her. After the first couple of handfuls of clothes went out the door, she screamed for me to stop. The neighbors were coming out to see what the commotion was. She asked for the contractor's pants and I threw it all out except his wallet. I told him his wife should know what a fine husband he was and I would deliver it to her personally.
I took the next day off work and went to see his wife. She came to the door in a near see through nightgown. I could see she didn't have on anything under it. I asked to see her husband and she said he had called her the night before and told her he would be home late. He had an emergency plumbing job and might even have to spend the night away. I guess my wife was the one who needed her plumbing fixed. He didn't make it home. He had called her just before I got there and said he would see her that evening.
She looked at me and asked if she could help me. I knew right then that their marriage was a fuck who you want marriage. I gave her his wallet and told her I caught him fucking my wife. She hardly batted an eye. She invited me in and as soon as she closed the door she told me it was time to get even. She unzipped my pants and had me sit on the couch. She then straddled my lap and lowered herself onto my rigid cock.
I took her once from the front and after a cup of coffee and a little rest, I took her from behind. She told me later that they had a very open marriage. There was no real love but they both did their own thing. She said I could come back anytime. I often wondered what would happen up the road in a marriage based on nothing but loose sex. It probably wasn't any worse than mine.
Marriage number three came a couple of years later. I met a younger gal who was in a bad marriage, or so she said. We met in a lounge one evening and hit it off pretty good. We began having sex, even that first night. She ended up divorcing her husband and we ended up getting married a few months after the divorce was final. The marriage was full of sex. As long as I was available for sex and took her places, everything was fine. She had the 'What about me?' complex. I told her I wasn't made of money and we couldn't eat out every night. I had a job to go to everyday.
Of course, it was the same old story. You've read it over and over again. Wife gets job, wife gets bored with husband, wife finds another boyfriend, because husband doesn't pay enough attention to her. Wife fucks new boyfriend, husband finds out and divorces third wife. Of course I beat the living shit out of the guy. Well, anyway the cops came and locked me up for twenty-four hours. I went to court but the judge just fined me and put me on probation. I applied for divorce number three and told her if she even thought of fighting me and asking for anything she could end up dead. It was enough to scare her into accepting my demands. I was alone again.
I was thinking how stupid my life had been. I screwed around on my first wife and got divorced. My second and third wives both cheated on me after failed marriages. Shouldn't it stand to reason that if a woman cheats on her husband to be with me, that the chances of her cheating on me are about ninety-nine percent? I think there is a lot of truth when they say the blood flows from your brain and into your dick. It's why we don't seem to think enough about the consequences when we get a hard-on.
It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. I made my bed and now was sleeping in it. I really have matured throughout the years. I guess we all have a lot of things we would do differently if we could do it all over again. There are no do-overs in real life. All we can do is learn from our mistakes. I sure learned from mine. Maybe I could really help Tim down the right track in life. All he would have to do is look at what I did and do the opposite.
I looked over and the young lad and said, "Tim I'm going to give you the best advice I can give. I do want you to understand that this is just Wilson's Law, it's only what I think. When you first get married, you think it's all about love, but it's not. It's mostly about sex and how good it feels, and how you never want it to end. You vow to love eternally during these love sessions. You both enjoy each other's bodies to the fullest."
I continued, "What you must understand is that men and women are truly different. You want your rocks off, while your wife wants to cuddle and be romanced. The two of you will argue over the dumbest things and one of you will walk out to cool off. This is not good. You need to talk and communicate with each other. Let her know your likes and also your dislikes. You must know hers as well. Communication is the answer to a happy and successful marriage."
"Ray, what if we don't see eye to eye on things?" Tim asked.
"You won't always see eye to eye, but you both need to know when to give in a little. You must find a mutual ground or you will fail. If you don't like meatloaf, she shouldn't make it for you. Of course, you need to tell her and don't lie about it. If she doesn't want you to go out with the guys, find out why. A night out with the guys could make her feel insecure. In the same vein, a night out with the girls might prove disastrous if other guys are involved. You both need to know where you stand. A night out together or with friends might be rewarding for both of you."
"Wow, Ray, you seem to know a lot."
"Tim, it's learning from experience. I did a lot of the wrong things. Don't put anyone or anything before your wife. She's more important than your friends, parents, work, or anything else. Always do for her first. If you both always put each other first, then you have a good chance of lasting. It's funny in a way, the more you do for her, the more she will want to do for you. That is, of course, if you two truly love each other and want to make it work.
"Also, Tim, don't think the grass is greener next door. It might be different but not better. Do your loving at home with your wife. Cheating is the number one cause of divorce in a marriage. If you feel an urge around another woman, get the hell out of the situation. Tell Katie the same thing about other men. Don't think just your love for each other is enough to pull you through. In today's society, there is going to be a lot of sex stuff thrown at you. You two need to be together to make it through. So, above all, be honest with each other and always communicate your feelings to each other. In very simple words, 'Put each other first always'. I hope this helps out.
"Oh, Tim, I almost forgot one the most important points. Love her like there is no tomorrow. Never, and I mean never, take her for granted. Sometimes you might even just hold and cuddle her. Let her know that it's her you want, not just the sex. When the kids come along, she'll have a lot more stress. Help her and compliment her often; never ridicule her in any way. You may think it's funny, but she might not. Last but not least, always tell her you love her and makes sure she knows it."
I continued, "The truth is, Tim, the greatest contribution is being there for each other. Granted, work is important but the time spent with the wife and kids is much more important. I learned this lesson too late. Don't assume you know what each other's needs and wants are. Ask and she will answer. Just remember the more you do for her, the more she will want to do for you, in a loving relationship." I told Tim as honestly as I could.
"Ray, how long have you known my mom?" asked Tim.
"Oh, ever since grade school. She was always so nice to me even though I was an idiot. Your dad was a really good friend of mine in our younger days. The three of us were pals growing up. When we all became teenagers, he started dating your mom and the two of them hit it off from the start. Your dad was one lucky bastard. I mean that in a good way. We hung around some together until my life started falling apart, due to my own ignorance. After the first divorce, I kind of went my own way. Your mom and I both worked here and she always treated me nice. I respect her more than any woman I've ever known."
"Mom said that you've both worked here for most of your lives."
"Yes, we have. I always wished that, if I could have started over, I would have asked her out. Your dad just beat me to her and besides, she'd probably have said, 'No'. We were quite the opposites at the time. I was wild and crazy and she was so nice and refined. The funny thing is, she is still the nicest woman I know."
"Ray, will you do me a favor?" asked Tim.
"Sure, son, if I can."
"Will you be my mom's escort to Katie and my wedding? Since dad passed away, I don't want her attending it without an escort. She's too beautiful and too nice of a woman to be alone at an event like this."
"Tim, the offer is fantastic, but don't you think it should be a person that your mother chooses? Believe me, she can do a lot better than a man with three strikes against him," I replied.
"She asked me to ask you, Ray. She told me that you've been through a lot in your life, but it was your choices. Deep down you are a good man. She's the one who told me to ask you about what would make a successful marriage and that I would understand why she would pick you."
I didn't know what to say. I was wondering about fate. Of course this was just to be her escort to her son's wedding, but could it grow from there? Is there such a thing as a second or even a fourth chance for a guy like me? A guy who made a mess of his life due to his own stupidity. I told Tim I would be more than honored but I must talk to Sally about it first.
Tim headed back to work and I sat there thinking about everything.
Tim's dad, Dave, and his mother, Sally, and I were all best friends. We were all neighbors in the old neighborhood. We were the three peas in a pod, so to speak. From our sandbox years to our teenage years, we hung together. Sally always told us when we got older she would marry us both. We didn't know any better since we were kids. Once we got into high school, Sally started dating Dave. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't hang with them as much. I felt like the third wheel even though Sally tried to keep the three of us together.
I started dating other girls myself but none met the standard of Sally. I guess it was the puppy love that we all go through and I was comparing all girls with Sally. I began dating girls that were easy. If I couldn't have Sally, I'd have sex. I double-dated a few times with Dave and Sally, but it didn't work out really well. The only one who was not uncomfortable with the situations was my dates; as I mentioned, they were easy and Sally didn't appreciate the groping going on in front of her.