I Won a Basket of Porn

bypatientlee©

"Well, let me show you what I won."

I started with the items that wouldn't be inserted. I held up two X-rated DVDs, one based on the X-Files, one based on the sit-com Friends. I hadn't watched them yet, but I certainly didn't tell that to the camera.

The next items were matching boxes of Gummy Boobs and Gummy Peckers. I took a couple of the Peckers out of the package, and made a big show of licking and sucking the tiny, little cocks. I set those aside.

Next out of the basket was the spray bottle of toy cleaner. I figured it wouldn't hurt to show the viewers that I was keeping the items in my basket clean and sanitary.

"Now for the fun stuff," I purred while I dangled the fuzzy handcuffs from my index finger.

I thought to myself, "As if I'll ever get to use these without a boyfriend!"

I looked coyly into the camera as I took the bullet vibrator out of the basket. I pretended to hit the button by mistake, and I gave an adorable "my bad" look to the camera as it buzzed. I reached into the basket again, and pulled out a small, silicone fingertip-sleeve to slip over the bullet. I put my index finger through the ring, and spread my legs. I lay back on the fluffy comforter, used the fingers on my left hand to spread my pussy lips, and let my buzzing fingertip meander through my pussy.

When I felt my clit warming up a bit, I reached for the next item from the basket, a white, egg-shaped vibrator with a cord attached to a remote control. With a big, sexy smile, I popped that egg into my vagina, and lined it up right on my sweet spot. I made a big show of pressing the power button, and resumed flicking my clit with my buzzing finger. I could feel the heat building in my pelvis, but I wasn't finished yet.

I smiled for the camera, and shut the two smaller vibes off. I reached into the basket for the pièce de resistance, the I-Vibe Rabbit vibrator. I made a show of putting it into my mouth and deep throating it, just for the camera. Another smile, another coy look, and I was ready. I plunged it into my pussy and turned on the rotating beads on the shaft. I gave it a couple of minutes, and then changed the setting. Instead of rotating in a circle, the beads twisted back and forth on my G-spot.

"Ooh. That's so nice," I said to the camera.

The pressure on my G-spot made my whole pelvis feel good, and I started rocking my hips a bit. I decided to go for it and turned on the vibrating rabbit ears.

"Oh, yeah," I moaned. "That feels so good."

I played with the different settings on the shaft and the ears until I found the perfect combination. I relaxed back onto the pillow and let myself have it. I pushed the thick phallus in and out of my pussy a little bit and felt the pressure in my privates building.

I turned the speed up on both the shaft and the ears, and moaned loudly. It was really starting to feel good, and I started making more and more noise as I fucked myself. It had been a few weeks since I had masturbated, and almost a year since I'd had sex with an actual man. Within minutes I felt myself getting closer and closer to orgasm.

I hit the buttons one more time to crank the vibrator up to full power, and I pushed the rabbit ears hard against my clit.

"Oh, here we go boys. I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum hard!"

The guys moved their camera in closer to my cunt just in time.

"I'm cumming! Oh shit. Oh fuck. Fuck me. I'm cumming!" I yelled.

I smiled one more time for the camera as I relaxed.

All of a sudden, the beautiful image in my head popped like a soap bubble, and I came to my senses.

"Hello! Ma'am! Hello!" I heard an annoyed voice yell in my face.

I shook my head to rid myself of the last vestiges of my daydream, and remembered where I was.

"Oh! I'm sorry," I said, dazed. "Would you like fries with that?"

~~~~~

Author's Note: Most of this story is complete fiction, based on the unreal expectations that so many people have for the personal lives of teachers. Just think of how surprised you were when you were in school if you met your teacher in the supermarket. Before that day you assumed that teachers didn't eat or shop.

I'll tell you now which elements of the story are true.

One day my husband and I were on our way somewhere, and I felt like I absolutely needed to masturbate with a vibrator. My vibrator was broken, and I was trying to figure out how I would get a new one right then and there. I suddenly had the crazy idea that I would just win one.

Seriously. Why would I think that? I don't know, but I did.

About six weeks later, my husband took me to a Night at the Races. You can imagine my surprise when I saw the big, pink I-Vibe sticking out of one of the raffle baskets. I knew instantly that I would win it.

I am a high school teacher, so I thought long and hard about whether or not I should put my tickets in the Adult Basket. Ok, truthfully, I thought for 30 seconds. I really wanted it. I made a big show of telling everyone that would listen that I wanted it for my cousin's bachelorette party.

The contents of the basket were exactly as I described in the story. I didn't watch the videos. I didn't eat the gummies, and I'm not all that interested in fuzzy handcuffs, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the contents.

Just as I predicted, I won the basket. I blushed like crazy, and reminded everyone that it was for a bachelorette party. (I almost never lie, but this seemed like a good one to tell.)

The worst moment came at the end of the party when they took pictures of the winners. The organizers teased and teased that they would put the picture in the paper. I was a little tipsy, so I played the good sport, but I was a nervous wreck as I checked the paper each day for a couple of weeks.

That's it. I made the rest up.

Thanks for reading.

PL

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by Anonymous

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by Swilly05/15/14

Very amusing

Nice sense of humor. Fun little story!

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by Anonymous04/26/14

Yup!

Many a young woman nowadays can't afford the college costs associated with getting a teaching position. The job never pays enough to pay back the schooling required to get it, so many a young woman getmore...

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by Anonymous01/09/14

Ha! Ha! Ha!

It doesn't matter whether you are a teacher or not. I am sure this would have happened in any other circumstances. Well, your travesty is my mirth.

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by JAMESBJOHNSON12/26/13

Hee Hee. Been There Done That. Got The Scars.

Too funny. Too true.

Made me recall 3-4 insane eruptions in my life. 5 STARZ!

You have talent for satire.

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by magmaman10/14/13

I swear..

This has a ring of truth. Like the lady in Portland that stood out by the street protesting the book, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" because adult men should not be living with under age girls andmore...

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