If That's Your Excuse Ch. 04

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Just when they thought it couldn't get more difficult.
2.7k words
4.37
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Part 4 of the 8 part series

Updated 10/22/2022
Created 04/07/2009
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I walked out of the room as fast as I could. I can't believe I almost told him I liked him. I mean, I'd barely realized it, and I almost blurted it out in between calling him a jackass and storming out of the classroom. I tried to think if I'd ever yelled at a teacher before, or even got mad at one. Right now, my head was just a combination of frustration and embarrassment. I felt tears prickling in my eyes and I angrily brushed them away with the back of my hand as I went to my locker, quickly spinning the combination. The sooner I got my stuff the sooner I could leave. Grabbing my purse and jacket out of my locker I could feel my phone vibrating from the inside. I pulled it out, checking the screen. It said I had 5 new texts. Confused, I flipped it open, finding they were all from Maggie and said basically the same thing:

Cheer practice cancelled. Had to give rides to Meg, Sarah, and Kim. Txt me if you need a ride.

The last one she'd sent had been over an hour ago. I cursed under my breath. She must have left already. Dumping my stuff back into my locker, I grabbed my phone, dialing my house and prayed that someone was home.

After spending a good ten minutes kicking myself for being such an inconsiderate ass and making a girl cry, two things which I tried my best to stay away from, I started packing up to go home. Or maybe to the bar, I could really use a stiff drink at the moment. Something that could dull the rest of my senses, which of course were all on high alert right now. The worst part of it all was that she'd been brutally honest, and from what I'd known about her, she didn't do it very often. She'd called me a jackass, and I'd definitely deserved it. The only thing that had shocked me was that she planned to stay in the class. And just so I didn't look bad with Mr. Bryant. I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd gone and told Bryant that I'd made a pass at her or something. As soon as I thought about it, a shiver went up my back. But I would never do that I said to myself, more to reinforce the idea than anything else. I grabbed my jacket off the wall with my messenger bag. Slinging it over my shoulder I checked the clock. It'd been about twenty minutes since Lexi had stormed out of the class. I figured that was enough time to leave. I walked out the door, locking my room behind me. I headed out of senior hall down to the front door. I moved down the steps, when I saw someone sitting on the bench by the sidewalk. As I walked down, I recognized the sweatshirt. I stopped mid-step and swore under my breath. Glancing around I tried to figure a way to get around her. She was sitting right in front of the lot, in which I'd parked front row today. There was no way to avoid her. I might as well just face the music. With a sigh I fixed my jacket to block the cold wind and walked down the rest of the steps up to the bench. She must have heard me coming because as I got close she spun around. When she saw it was me, she dropped her eyes to the ground, and turned her back on me again, crossing her arms.

"You've gotta be kidding me." She mumbled.

"Wish I was." I said back.

I noticed her shivering.

"Where's your ride?"

Without turning around she replied

"No idea. My parents don't really listen to their voice-mail very often, so right now I'd say not until they notice I'm not home. Which won't happen for at least a few hours since neither of them get off till eight."

"Ah. Did you try and call anybody else?"

"Like who? The probably already drunk friends I have? It's a Friday night, nobody is going to drop what they're doing and come back to school."

She shivered again wrapping her arms tighter around her.

I stood there for a minute debating. I felt horrible for what I'd done to her, and I wanted to make it up to her, hope there weren't any hard feelings. But there was still that thought in the back of my head that this was wrong and I could get fired. Finally I stopped, giving in to chance.

"Listen, I know I've been a jackass. And I'm sorry about that. But if you needed a ride home—"

She turned around glaring at me.

"I'll be fine. Plus, wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the school."

There couldn't have been more sarcasm in her voice.

Even though I knew I deserved this, I could feel myself getting frustrated.

"Look, what do you want from me? I try to apologize for what happened and I offer you a ride, and you shove it back like I insulted you or something!"

She stood up, getting just as angry as I now was.

"It is an insult! I don't know if you think I'm some kind of slut or something, but I wouldn't do that. I don't hit on teachers. I don't hit on guys my age for that matter. And maybe it isn't your fault that you didn't know that, but you didn't give me a chance to prove it to you. You just assumed the worst and ignored me. So now I'm supposed to take some fake stupid apology from you and a pity ride and pretend like it makes everything alright?"

My cheeks flushed a little when she started talking, but I could still feel the anger.

"You're right. I didn't know you and I still don't. But if I want to keep my job, I have to assume the worst. I can't give you the benefit of the doubt and just pray that you don't take advantage of that. And I am legitimately sorry for what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you. But if you won't let me try and make up for it, then I can't do anything to fix this and every day is going to just as awkward as this week has been."

Once I'd finished, she didn't say anything at first, seeming to think it over. We sat in silence for a minute. Finally she sighed.

"A ride would be great. Thanks for the offer."

"Uh.. alright. My car is over here."

I was a little shocked at how quickly she'd given in.

The only thought running through my head was I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I was all ready to tell him no and just wait for my parents, but his argument made sense. If I didn't let it go eventually, then the whole year would be awkward and I'd start to hate school. At least this way I got a free ride along with the apology. As we headed down to the car I shivered again. It was way too cold for a spring day. We walked up to the car in silence, but as I climbed in he went digging in the trunk. He came back and got in the car, handing me a sweatshirt.

"Here-you looked cold."

I was surprised but took it from him pulling it over my head. It smelled good, just like him. I glanced at the front and saw it was an NU sweatshirt.

"Thanks. So you went to NU?"

He turned the car on and pulled out as he smiled to himself.

"Yeah four years of fun. I loved it there."

"That's where I'm looking to go in the fall. I'm just waiting on my letter. I'm supposed to get it in a few weeks."

"That's exciting. You're going to love college. It's the best."

"I don't think I will," I replied unsure.

He looked surprised by my answer.

"Why wouldn't you? It's a time empty of responsibility. You get to do whatever you want. It's the ultimate freedom."

I shifted a little turning towards him.

"Yeah but freedom for what? If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly a party girl. I'll probably spend four years with my head in a book praying for it to be over."

"Have you ever tried that... I mean you know being social with the parties and popularity?"

I shook my head.

"Not really. I mean it's not that I can't talk to people or anything. And it's not like I haven't been offered, you know? It just isn't me. I'm not like that and I don't think I'd want to be."

He smiled as he kept his eyes on the road and I noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just... you aren't like most girls your age. I mean when I was in high school, every girl wanted to be the hottest and the coolest. The one that every guy wanted. And you aren't even curious what's it's like, let alone do you want to actually be one of those people. You're just different."

I was a little stunned by his honesty, but I'd started getting used to it. He seemed to do that a lot.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah. Definitely. It makes you unique. Not that you weren't already."

He shifted in his seat seeming to be uncomfortable with the conversation he had started.

I gave a small smile, grateful.

"Well thanks. Nobody's really told me that before. I appreciate it."

"Anytime Lexi."

After that, it got quiet in the car and it seemed like our conversation was over. I gave him directions, and soon we were pulling into my neighborhood. Mr. Birnbaum seemed quiet, like he was trying to decide to say something. Finally he spoke.

"Listen Lexi, I heard what you said earlier. About giving you the benefit of the doubt, and I want to be honest with you about this, at least so we can clear the air for this week. I know an explanation has to come with the apology."

We pulled into my driveway, already the sun starting to sink in the sky.

I turned to look at him.

"Alright.. well go ahead then."

He turned the car off, fingering the keys for a minute.

"So this week I was kind of a jerk, and ignored you. But I didn't do it randomly, and it wasn't because I hated you or anything. What I said before was true, that I could get in trouble if we were friends, but not just because you're a student and I'm a teacher. I just.. have to be careful around you."

He paused again and looked up, as if to judge my reaction so far.

I was still a little confused.

"But I don't understand. If it's not because you're my teacher, why else would you have to be careful?"

I hesitated, knowing now was the time I had to be honest. Finally I took a deep breath and just said it.

"Well, I mean I told you. You're different then any other girl I've ever met... and I mean it obviously isn't a secret that you're pretty and I----

I cut myself off when I looked over at her startled expression. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I'm such an idiot

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, just forget I said anything."

I put the keys back into the slot, expecting her to walk out.

"You think I'm.. pretty?"

I looked up slowly, thinking I couldn't have heard her right. The way she asked sounded... surprised.

"What?

She blushed a little.

"You think I'm pretty,' She repeated again, this time not a question.

"Well.... Yeah." I replied, surely sounding like I had a handicap or something.

She stopped for a second putting the pieces together.

"So that's why you were ignoring me?"

"Yes it was. Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well.. I just.. I've never really thought that. About me."

I was quickly getting embarrassed as well now.

"Well you are" I said back quietly.

"Oh.. thank you." She said.. seeming awkward.

Before I could say anything, she quickly said "I should probably go.. I'm supposed to have plans with some friends tonight. But thanks for the ride again, and um. Well I'll see you Monday then."

She picked up her bag.

"Alright. Uh... Ok I'll see you on Monday then. Bye Lexi."

She climbed out of the car and mumbled a goodbye before shutting the door. I waited until the door shut behind her before I left.

I hit the wheel a few times. I should have been more careful. Every time I'm around that girl it's like I can't fight this need to be honest with her, even when it means making a huge mistake and possibly blowing it. That settled it. I'd definitely have to go the bar tonight for some serious drinking. My friends Mike and James had been talking about some club opening this weekend. I guess it had some sponsorship from Mike's job, so he could get us in for free and skip all the lines. Originally I'd said probably not, but after this day I needed a drink more then anything else right now. I drove back towards my house dialing Mike's cell as I left the neighborhood.

Once I'd made sure I locked the door, I calmly walked up to my room dropping my stuff. I went over to my bed and stuck my face in a pillow screaming as loud as I could. I was so frustrated with myself. I knew I didn't have a lot of experience with boys, but don't girls have some kind of human instinct to like compliments? It seemed like no matter how many I got from Mr. Birnbaum, I couldn't fight this flustered and embarrassed feeling. I felt like a little girl. I know that's nothing going to come of it, but I could have at least come up with a better reply then thank you. Thank you?!? Really? I fell back on my bed with a sigh. Sometimes I wished I wasn't so careful. Adventurous every once in a while. But I'm boring and predictable. And pretty a voice in the back of my head said. I smiled when I thought about it, but tried to shake it off. I couldn't think about it anymore. Definitely not on Monday. He was just being honest, he wanted to explain the weirdness from this week. He was just being polite I thought. All of a sudden my phone rang from my jacket. I went to reach down and grab it, when I remembered I was still wearing Mr. Birnbaum's sweatshirt. I grabbed my phone from my jacket and saw the call was from Maggie.

"Hey Mags" I say answering the phone.

"Heyy sweets. Sorry about the change of plans. Coach was pmsing or something today and she just called off practice. Thank God. You got home fine right?"

"Oh... yeah someone gave me a ride. I'm fine."

"Oh good. So listen, I don't know if you have any plans for tonight, but me and some of the girls from the squad were thinking of using our fakes to get into Rage tonight."

"Rage?" I asked confused

"Oh yeah it's this new club that opened a few weeks ago. Supposed to be hot."

"I don't know Mags... I mean I wouldn't be able to get in anyway, I don't have a fake, remember?"

"Lexi if we come in as a group of four hot girls, you think they are going to worry about one missing i.d.? Please they'll be begging us to come in."

I started to tell her no, before I thought about it. Wasn't this just what I'd been talking about? Taking a chance and doing something exciting? It wasn't like this was normally me anyway.

"Alright.. I'll go."

"What?" She said sounding surprised.

I smile and say "I'll go to the club."

I heard her laugh through the phone.

"Lexi I'm so glad you're coming! I've been trying to get you to go out for years. Alright so we won't go out till ten, so get at my house at 8."

"Two hours? Why do you want me over two hours before we leave?"

"To get ready silly! So be there. Oh and don't bother bringing anything, I'll lend you some stuff. Sorry Lex, but your clothes won't get you into a 21 and over club."

She laughs and I laugh with her.

"No argument there. Alright I'll see you then."

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AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
hard to read

It is really confusing to figure out who is talking ... the flip flopping is not good. I had to re-read every sentence and paragraph to find out who was talking to whom... just saying :P GREAT STORY! love it.

PennLadyPennLadyalmost 15 years ago
Good

I'm enjoying this. My only request is that you use something -- a line of stars, or x's or whatever -- to delineate when the POV switches. It's pretty confusing. But I like having the two POVs.

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