I'm Not Dead Yet

Kim saw a very handsome man in his mid-twenties and wearing green hospital scrubs staring at her intently from above. She saw him wet his lips slightly. "What are you staring at?" she asked. She knew he couldn't hear her, but she had to ask anyway.

Darrell bent forward until he was inches away from her face. He wore too much cologne, but it wasn't unpleasant to her. His hand moved to the edge of the sheet, touching it with his fingers, but he stopped himself. There would be time for that later. Instead he straightened and said, "I'll see you in a little while, sweetheart," as he patted her shoulder affectionately.

"Sweetheart? I'm not your sweetheart, numbnuts! I don't care if you're cute or not."

He then turned his attention to the infant in the corner. Gathering her in his arms carefully, he twirled in a complete circle as any loving father would and cooed softly in its ear, "Oh Amber, you're so pretty. I love babies." He exited the cold room with the infant cradled carefully in his arms and closed the door quietly behind him.

"Cute, but strange," Kim remarked when he left.

Kim sat on an empty cart next to her body and sighed. She really didn't want to be there anymore. She felt empty, sad, and alone and wished she would receive a sign or something of where she was to go or what she was to do. She knew she was dead. She accepted that fate, but surely, she was supposed to go elsewhere and not haunt the earth aimlessly. If that was her fate, she wanted nothing to do with it.

The grief and sorrow she felt from her parents was real. Somehow, she wished she could give them a sign and tell them she was okay, that it wasn't so bad. She wondered about Joe and hoped he was okay. Kim couldn't say she was in love with him, but she was ready to give herself to him. That was something, wasn't it? It wasn't fair to him that she was snatched away without so much as a good bye from her. Nothing had been fair that day, that's for sure.

It seemed but a short time later when the door opened and the young man reappeared with the baby in his arms. He was humming softly with his head close to the face of the little one. Kim watched as he carefully placed the baby on the cart again and gently caressed her forehead. "Ah, sweet angel," he said softly.

The phone rang in the other room and Darrell didn't want to answer it, although he knew he must. Only if he were in the middle of an embalming or out of the building was he allowed to let the answering machine pick it up. His code of ethics never let him shirk his duty to his employer. He was a trusted employee and he would never break that trust. On the second ring, he turned and walked quickly away from the refrigerator while shutting the door behind him.

Kim didn't know what to make of this man. He was a bit unusual, but who wouldn't be if he was working in a funeral home? He seemed kind and gentle to the baby and that was comforting.

At the desk in the next room, Darrell jotted down the information given on his yellow notepad. It was a pickup from the Harding Retirement Village and it would have to be done that night. He checked his watch and frowned. It was almost eight o'clock. He would have to put off his last client until he made the pickup. Sighing disgustedly at the latest interruption, he dropped his pen on the tablet. He could stay late if he needed to. He was on salary and it was not unusual for him to stay later at times if they were particularly busy. This might be one of those nights if things went his way. Staying late for her would be worth it.

Darrell glanced at the refrigerator. Even in the state she was in, he could tell she was beautiful, one of the better prospects he had encountered in a while. It was hard to contain his enthusiasm when a real beauty came through the doors. With thoughts of his evening dancing through his head, Darrell got up and began to prepare for his pickup.

It was an hour or so later when the metal door of the refrigerator opened. Kim saw Darrell, dressed in a suit, push in a new body, then watched as he maneuvered it to the other side of the room. Glancing at Kim on the table, he smiled and asked, "Did you miss me, sweetheart?"

"Did I miss you? What the hell are you talking about?" Kim didn't know what to think.

"Are you ready for our date, baby?"

"Date? Baby? Are you crazy?" She certainly hoped he talked that way to all his corpses.

"Be back in just a little bit and we'll get started."

Kim frowned, not caring for the tone in his voice, or what he said for that matter. 'Are you ready for our date, baby?' That was a bit too spooky for her. This was going past being a little strange.

He brushed past her and closed the door behind him. Darrell went to the locker room and changed back into his scrubs. He washed his hands thoroughly and after drying them, he picked up a fresh mask and a couple pairs of examination gloves before heading to the refrigerator one more time.

"Ready for some fun?" he asked her as he grabbed hold of the cart.

"It all depends on your definition of fun," she replied warily. "You're a strange fucker."

Darrell didn't answer as he wheeled her out into the hallway and shut the door.

"We're going down to a room and we'll make you feel all better," he said as he looked down at her.

"Why are you talking to me as if I was alive? Is it supposed to make me feel better? You can just stop, because it's not."

They entered a brightly lit room that had various machines and other tools of his trade. Darrell positioned the cart and locked the wheels into place. He flipped the switch to the exhaust fan on the wall closest to him. Kim wasn't smelling too bad, but it had been over twelve hours since her death. Darrell donned the mask and the gloves and began preparing a cleaning solution. Once that was done, he turned to Kim.

"I've been waiting for this all night, sweetheart."

"Waiting for what? And stop calling me sweetheart. I'm not your sweetheart, asshole."

Slowly, he pulled the sheet away from her and tossed it into a laundry basket. Reaching behind her neck, he untied the cloth lacing and pulled the hospital gown away from her. Darrell gasped in awe as he saw Kim naked for the first time. Her breasts were small, beautifully shaped, and she had large nipples poking out from them.

"You are so beautiful, baby," he said softly as he gazed at her. "I'm going to make this so special for you." Tentatively, he reached forward and caressed her left nipple, pressing and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. "Do you like that?" A bulge could be seen pushing out through his green cotton scrubs.

"It would probably feel great if I was ALIVE, you fucking moron. I'd kick you in the nuts if I could. That's just great. I'm dead and who do I get to embalm me? A fucking pervert. That's just my luck!"

Kim tried to push his hand away, but he didn't flinch. He then touched her right breast and played with the nipple much in the same way as the other. His eyes traveled down to her downy fine pussy hair and a groan came to his throat. He left her side and moved a few feet down as his eyes examined her sex.

"You are going to be so much fun," he said happily.

"And I'm going to make this the worst night of your life, dickhead," she replied angrily, getting an idea of what he had in mind. "I'm going to haunt your ass forever!"

Without touching her anymore, he took a basin filled with disinfectant solution and placed it nearby. Finding a large sponge, he began to scrub and clean her from head to toe with the solution. Turning her on her side, he sponged her back, buttocks and legs as well. He was all business now as his eyes narrowed and his face grimaced. Darrell sponged under her arms, around her breasts, and between her legs in a professional manner, cleaning her quickly and thoroughly.

Kim began to relax seeing the professional side of him come out.

Once that was done, he began to massage her limbs with his hands to try and relieve the rigor mortis that had set in. By doing this, it would help ensure that the embalming solution would travel through the arteries and veins easier. It helped prevent blockages and other impediments which would make his job a lot harder and take much longer. He moved her legs and arms to and fro for several minutes until he was satisfied with her range of motion.

Darrell moved to her right side and took a scalpel in his right hand. "This won't hurt a bit, baby," he said softly.

"No shit, sherlock! I'm DEAD, you dumbass. Remember?"

With scalpel in hand, he made an incision in the lower part of her neck and exposed the carotid artery and the jugular vein. The embalming solution would enter the artery and travel throughout Kim's body, pushing blood and other fluid out until they exited from the vein. Darrell attached one tube to her artery and another to her vein and these two tubes were connected to the embalming fluid pump. He set the pump on low and watched carefully. If her stomach bloated, it meant there was a clot or something impeding the process. Taking into account her size and weight, Darrell figured he would need 2 ½ to 3 gallons of the solution to properly embalm her. He had added a pink dye to the solution to give her a more natural look, and also so he could watch the process as the dye traveled through her.

Kim felt strange throughout the process. She could feel the fluids moving through her as if someone had just started an IV in her. She looked at Darrell and he was staring at the gauges on the pump and checking her body intently. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy, after all, she thought. Maybe he cared about her. She didn't know at that point. Kim only knew she had two tubes sticking out of her neck and stuff was being pumped into her.

It took a while until that process was complete. Darrell wanted to make sure everything was done correctly. He may have been horny as hell for her, but he had to do it right. There could be no mistakes. He carefully removed the tubes from her neck and sutured the wound until it was neatly closed.

"All done with that, baby," he smiled through his mask. She was beginning to look like herself again, he thought to himself.

"Whatever."

Next, Darrell moved down to her abdomen where he made an incision just above her navel. He took a long needle called a trocar and pushed it into her abdominal and thoracic regions. The trocar was attached to an electric pump which is used to aspirate the two regions. Aspiration is a process by which all fluids are removed to ensure a more thorough disinfection. Once this was done, a stronger embalming fluid was put in each organ and cavity with a pump. After this was completed, Darrell removed the needle and sutured the wound closed.

He looked at her from above and examined the cuts on her face and neck. He debated as to the severity of them and wondered if he should suture them also or let the mortician on the morning shift try to cover them with cosmetics. Erring on the side of caution, Darrell carefully closed the bigger wounds and let the smaller ones be. If the other mortician didn't like it, he could always take out the stitches and use a special putty to smooth the cuts. Darrell did close a large wound on her arm which would be quite noticeable should her dress or top be short sleeved.

Kim felt the fluids being sucked out of her and the fullness of them being replaced. It was such a weird feeling for her and she couldn't understand how she could have these feelings since she was dead. She thought it was because she had some of her other senses as well, but it was still hard to fathom.

Darrell looked her over once more in awe. Her body was one of the most beautiful he had come across in his years as a mortician and he was going to enjoy her as much as possible, but he had one more thing to do.

"Our special time is almost here," he whispered to her.

Kim tried to strike him with her fist, but it went through his head. Darrell straightened up abruptly and looked around him. He thought he felt something near his forehead and then the hairs on the back of his neck stood up for no apparent reason. He looked left and right and then back at the woman on the table below. The look on his face made Kim laugh as it was one of confusion and uncertainty.

"I may just have some fun with you, yet," Kim laughed again. She raised her eyebrows and laughed harder.

Once he regained his composure, Darrell began to wash her with cool water, to which he added a soapy germicidal solution containing bleach to kill any remaining bacteria and viruses. He wrinkled his nose to the smell of the bleach a little, even though he was pretty used to it by then. Most of the time, he was able to ignore it, but it seemed stronger to him than normal with her. Once he finished cleansing her, his arousal began to heighten in anticipation.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" he asked lovingly as he bent forward to kiss her stone cold lips.

"I can't believe you're going to kiss me. You're a very sick puppy."

The coldness didn't bother him and only added to his excitement. He would love to have tasted her lips when she was alive, but this was the next best thing. Darrell pulled back and looked at her again.

Kim felt the pressure of his lips against hers and it wasn't as bad as she'd imagined. His cologne's scent had dissipated somewhat and he smelled pretty good. She had noticed his wedding ring before and she wondered what his wife was like and if she knew how messed up he was. She couldn't have, Kim thought, knowing a wife would never stay with a man like this.

Darrell smiled. There was something about this woman that reached within him. For the first time ever, he wanted to know more about a client, wanted to know what she was like when she was alive. And this bothered him. It bothered him because he didn't want feelings getting in the way, not now, not when he was so close. Reluctantly, he pushed aside his thoughts and reached into the back pocket of his scrub pants and produced two foil packets.

Kim saw them and her eyes grew big. "No, please don't."

Darrell put the packets on the table and moved down to Kim's torso. He took her legs and slowly began to move them in different directions to limber them a bit. He didn't want any bones to break or pop out of socket. After that, he reached under her and moved her down to the end of the table so that her legs were hanging over and spread apart slightly.

"I don't want you to do this. Think about your wife."

Darrell pulled down his scrub pants and underwear, exposing himself to Kim. He was already hard and a bit of pre-cum was present at the tip.

Kim saw that he was nicely endowed and wouldn't have minded having him inside her when she alive, but this was different. This was wrong. She wished he wouldn't, but what could she do to stop him?

He opened the packets and slipped the condoms on his penis. He always wore two to be extra cautious with bacteria and such. He once made the mistake of putting two on with his wife when she wasn't on the pill. He had to do some quick thinking to get out of that one.

Darrell moved closer until he was positioned between her legs. He looked at the delicate, soft curves of her labia and became even more excited. He touched her clit and pushed her outer lips open with his fingers.

"Don't, please don't," Kim cried. "Don't do this!"

He placed his rigid penis at her opening and inhaled sharply. There was always a split second of indecision in his mind at this moment, but he never failed to go through with it. The pleasure it gave him was too much.

"Don't do this. Can't you hear me? DON'T DO THIS, DAMN IT!!!!!"

To his left, Darrell saw a small glass container of embalming solution topple over onto the floor, shattering and sending glass and liquid everywhere. Above, the lights flickered, fizzled, and popped. To his right, the embalming pump turned on and off by itself several times.

"What the fuck?" he exclaimed as he stepped back.

"Please, please don't," Kim whimpered. "I'm begging you...."

Darrell's head snapped forward as he looked down at Kim. The voice in his head was as clear as a wind chime on a breezy day. "What...?"

At that instant, Kim knew she had reached him and tried to seize the moment. "I'm asking you, no, I'm begging you not to do this to me."

"What's going on? Who are you?" The voice was in his mind, but it was as if he was hearing her with his ears. He had to be going crazy if he was hearing this. Darrell held his hands to his head and scrunched his face in fear.

"I'm Kim."

Darrell pulled back even more from the table and looked at her in disbelief. His penis had gone limp in just a matter of seconds. He noticed this and quickly pulled up his pants. Backing up more, Darrell bumped into the embalming pump, where he tripped on the wire and tumbled to the floor in a heap.

Kim laughed, a delightful light giggle that was quite pleasant in Darrell's fragile state of mind. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" he stammered from the floor. He shook his head to try and clear it.

"For not going through with it."

Darrell scrambled to his feet and edged slowly towards the table again. He suddenly felt dirty and full of remorse. He had never taken into account that a corpse would have feelings. How could he? For the first time he realized what a sick, twisted perversion he had and he hated himself for it. He had a horrible, sickening feeling in his stomach as he struggled to keep his supper down.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't know." He truly was sorry, sorry for trying to take advantage of her and for every time he committed that horrible act before.

"I'm sure you didn't...."

Just then, Kim was filled with an inner peace she had never felt before and she felt herself slowly being pulled from her body. She knew she was about to begin her next journey and she welcomed it. She now knew it was time to go to a better place. Kim didn't see a light like she thought she would, but a radiant warmth glowed within her, bringing her joy like she had never before experienced.

"I have to go."

"Please don't go," Darrell pleaded. "I want to talk to you some more."

"I can't. I'm sorry." The urge to leave her body was becoming greater now and her thoughts were filled with happiness and hope.

"I wish you could stay longer."

"Promise me something." Her voice was fading slightly.

"Yes?"

"Please don't do this anymore. I think you're a decent person. You don't need to do this."

"I don't know if I can," Darrell said softly, ashamed. "I've done it too much already."

"If you think you want to do it again, please think of me and remember that sometimes we still have feelings." Kim's voice was becoming softer and softer in his mind.

"I'll try," Darrell replied. "I will try," he said more emphatically. "Can I ask something of you?"

"Yes."

"May I kiss you one more time?"

"Yes."

Darrell moved to her side and bent forward. When his lips touched hers, they were almost as soft and warm as a live person's. He kissed her softly and gently before slowly drawing back.

"Thank you," Kim said in a whisper. "You're a good man. Good bye."

"Good bye," Darrell answered sadly as the voice died within. He looked down at Kim and shook his head in amazement.

Where there had been none before, a slight smile appeared and Darrell knew she was in peace.