I'm Not Going Ch. 05

At work, my partner Michael Jefferson looked at me and said, "Are you okay, man?"

I looked back at him and just said, "Yeah. Why would I not be okay?"

"Well, if I were a betting man, I'd say your girlfriend's miscarriage might have something to do with it."

I counted the tiles on the floor for a minute.

Michael laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Listen, man. It happens. It sucks but it still happens. My wife and I went through the exact same thing, before we had our girls."

"So, how did you get through it?"

"Well, these days, things are a little more open minded. They have couseling for the man as well as for the woman. Back then I just drank a lot, for a while, anyway."

I smiled but it was a half-hearted one.

"Listen, man, why don't you take the rest of the day off? If anyone around this office deserves to take a mental health day, that would be you."

This time my smile was stronger. I stood up. "You sure you can handle things without me?"

Michael stood up, too. "Yes, I'm sure. There's nothing big on the boards today anyway, and you need to get your head on straight. I want you one hundred percent. You copy that?"

"I copy that."

"Good man. I don't want to see your ass around here until tomorrow morning."

That finally got a smile out of me. "I promise. Not till tomorrow."

"Good man. Now get the hell out of here."

Before I changed my mind, I punched out and headed for the nearest exit. From the office, I drove to Mercedes' clinic.

The secretary looked up at me. "Hi, Mr. Jones. Is Mercedes alright?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah. Mercedes is alright. It's me I'm here about."

"Okay. How can we help you?"

"Doctor Franklin said she could refer me to a counselor..."

The secretary gave me a sympathetic smile. "Have a seat. I'll notify Dr. Franklin."

"Thank you."

Not even five minutes later, Doctor Franklin came out. "Hi. Zach, right?"

I stood up. "Right."

"Come with me to my office."

"Thanks."

"Sure."

It wasn't until we were in her office, that she finally said, "So, the secretary says you asked for a referral to a counselor."

"Right."

"Did Mercedes suggest this?"

"Actually, no, Mercedes doesn't know about this."

"Okay. Have you two been able to talk about the miscarriage?"

"Yeah. I got her to talk about it, at any rate. It's me who needs to get their head on straight."

"Well, before I give you a referral, I'm a great listener and sometimes it helps just to talk, no matter who you talk to."

I sighed heavily. "Okay, I guess."

"Nothing you say will leave this room. Not even Mercedes will know, unless you tell her yourself. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And trust me when I say that nothing you say will shock me. So go ahead."

"Well...This is gonna sound stupid, but...I'm afraid that it might happen again."

"You mean that Mercedes might have another miscarriage?"

"Yeah. What if there's something...wrong, with me?"

Dr. Franklin had a look on her face like she'd heard this one before.

So I said, "I mean, really, one second there was a baby inside Mercedes and the next second ... I don't wanna go through that again."

"Zach. As I said to Mercedes, there is nothing stopping the two of you from trying again and having a normal pregnancy, if that is what you want to do."

"Yeah. I know. But...I gotta say, I'm scared."

"That is natural. I'm sure if you talk with Mercedes, she is just as scared."

"Yeah. Well, thanks again for squeezing me in today."

"Not at all. That's what I'm here for."

So I left the clinic and drove home. I was disappointed that Mercedes' car wasn't parked nearby. It wasn't even time for her to come by. But I was disappointed all the same.

I pulled in to the driveway and parked, then went inside and changed into something more comfortable.

I put my weapon in the safe, then changed into a pair of black jeans and a gray t-shirt. I made myself a sandwich and settled myself on the couch and played video games.

It seemed like I'd hardly started playing before I heard the sound of Mercedes' car.

I looked at the time and was a little shocked at how much time had gone by.

A minute or two later I heard the sound of her key in the lock.

I put the game on pause.

She came in the door, carrying a pink Victoria's Secret box in addition to her purse, wearing a bright yellow sweater, dark blue jeans and matching yellow high heels.

She smiled a big smile as she saw me. "Hey, baby!"

We hugged. This was what I needed.

Then she said, "What are you doing home so early? Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. I just needed to take a day off is all."

Mercedes squeezed my arm. "Okay."

"How was your day?"

"Wellll... First I got this beautiful French manicure..."

"I can see that."

"Aaaand... I went to the post office, to pick up the outfit my man ordered."

Despite myself, I cracked a grin. "I see that, too. What did I get for you?"

Mercedes also cracked a grin. "It's a surprise! So why don't you sit back down, while I go put this on?"

"Sounds good."

With a kiss, Mercedes sashayed down the hall, her hips swaying provocatively to the beat of her high heels.

Still grinning, I sat back down and started playing the game again.

But suddenly I wasn't in the mood to kill any more, even if it was just a game. Mercedes did that to me.

I turned off the games, and turned the TV back on.

As I watched the evening news anchor drone on and on, I thought about what Dr. Franklin had said. I did owe it to Mercedes to tell her how I felt.

Mercedes said, "Zach?"

"Yeah..."

"You gotta close your eyes, baby."

Playing my part, I said, "Okay."

"Eyes closed?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Mercedes, I'm sure."

A giggle answered. Then I heard her footsteps coming closer.

"Okay, Zach. Open your eyes."

So I did - to see Mercedes wearing the white sundress she wanted, with gossamer thin spaghetti straps, high waist line and a long flowing skirt.

I smiled.

Mercedes sat in my lap and wound her arms around my neck. "Do you like it, baby?"

"Yes, I love it. You look beautiful. You should send them a photo."

Mercedes giggled, as she ran her nails through my hair. "Baby, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. What makes you think I'm not okay?"

"Because, usually we're talking a mile a minute. And I can't even get two words out of you. So, please, talk to me. What's wrong?"

I smiled, despite myself. Mercedes was like that.

So I said, "I uh...I'm still getting over the miscarriage."

Mercedes didn't reply, she just ran her nails through my short blond hair.

"I keep wondering if there's something wrong on my end. I'm scared that it will happen again."

Mercedes rested her head on my shoulders.

Then I said, "Sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"No. Not at all, baby. That does not sound 'stupid' at all."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes.

She looked into my eyes. "Do you know what Mom told me the night I slapped Dad?"

"No. What?"

"She said to me, Get Zach to talk. He has feelings just like you do, except men can't show their feelings. Men can't cry. So I should have gotten you to talk, that night you got me to talk. I'm sorry I didn't."

I just sat there, taking comfort in her physical presense.

After a minute, she said, "You know you can talk to me, right? I will never laugh at anything you have to say. Ever."

"Yeah. I know."

"Good."

Then I said, "I suppose we should have talked about this before you even got pregnant."

"You mean about if we even want children?"

"Yeah. That talk."

She kissed the side of my face. "No time like the present. Talk to me, Zach."

"Well, I was thinking about that. I think we should wait, even after we get married. I'm coming up for a training spot pretty soon. I want to get off the streets before we start thinking about children."

"I'm glad you said that. I don't want to have to explain to our future children why their daddy isn't there, just in case anything ever happened to you."

I smiled. "Well, after you and I met, they offered me the instructor position and I took it. I still have another month or so on the streets, and I'm off to the Academy."

Mercedes squeezed my shoulders. "Good. Now maybe you won't come home so tense all the time."

That got a chuckle out of me. "Yeah..."

She gently ran her nails through my hair, for a few minutes longer.

"Does that feel good?"

"Yes..."

"I know something else that would feel good..."

"What's that?"

She gently turned my face towards hers, and we traded a few soft kisses. "Does that feel good?"

"Yeah..."

She eased her mouth open. I matched her. We kissed a little bit longer.

Then she eased her tongue into my mouth. Our tongues did a little dance, nothing too strong.

After a few minutes, her soft hands eased down my chest and slipped around my waist.

I felt her slide the tips of her nails under the waist band of my jeans.

I cracked a grin. "What do you think you're doing?"

She kissed me. "Something that feels good..."

Then she climbed off my lap and had me stand up. I wondered where this was going, until she unzipped my jeans and pulled them down far enough to see my boxers.

Mercedes' grin turned devilish as she pulled down the waist band of my boxers, fished around for my dick, brought it out, and started to suck on the head.

My dick responded. It became quite hard.

Mercedes was taking more of it in her mouth.

"Mmm. Mmm. Mmm."

I groaned. "Oh god, Mercedes..."

"Mmmm. Mmmmmmm. Mmmmmm..."

I stood there, making fuck faces, while Mercedes sucked my dick.

And then suddenly, Mercedes pulled back, but kept stroking my cock with her soft hands.

I looked down. "What?"

"Have you ever fucked a girl in the ass before?"

"Uhm. What?"

"You heard me! Have you ever fucked a girl in the ass before?"

"Uhm...no. Why?"

"Well, it's very simple. The people at the clinic said it would be a good idea for me to dial down the...activity...for a few weeks. Only problem is, I'm just as horny as I can be. Don't tell me you haven't at least thought about fucking my ass."

"Well, yeah, I suppose I have thought about it. But I also had no idea what you thought of it, so I didn't bring it up. So to speak."

Mercedes giggled. Then she said, "Well, I have never been fucked in the ass, either, but like I said, I'm horny as hell, and willing to at least try it, in order to give my poor vagina a rest. So how about it?"

"Okay. We can at least try it. If we like it, we can add it to our list of things we like to do."

Mercedes giggled again as she stood up. "As long as you wear a condom. And we use lube."

"No problem."

"Excellent! Hold that thought." She kissed me, then bounced down the hallway, and came back promptly with a condom, still in the wrapper, and a small squeeze bottle.

Grinning, she said, "Here's a condom. And here's lube."

I grinned back. "Cool."

Then she got back down on her knees. "Now, let's get you hard again."

"Sounds good to me."

A few long leisurely sucks later, I was good to go, and very erect.

Mercedes quickly took her dress off, showing she hadn't been wearing underwear. She's been doing that a lot lately.

Then she pushed an ottoman up against the couch and climbed on, got on all fours, and stuck her shapely milk-chocolate ass high in the air.

Damn!

Meanwhile, I quickly got undressed, and put on the condom.

Then I took the bottle of lube and first squeezed a tiny amount out in between her absolutely mouth-watering ass cheeks, right in her puckered ass hole.

Next, I squeezed some on the head of my cock.

Then I climbed on the ottoman, got behind Mercedes, and held her hips in place. "Okay. You ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready. Just be please be gentle, baby."

"You know I will."

"I know you will..."

Holding her hips in place, I guided the pink head of my cock in between her ass cheeks, right up to her ass hole.

And then, very slowly, I started to push forward.

I groaned as I pushed forward. She'd always had a tight pussy, but it was nothing compared to what her ass felt like. Smooth and velvety.

The lube helped. My cock parted her ass and smoothly slid inside. Soon my hips were touching her booty.

Mercedes dug her nails in my velour couch. "Aaaahhhhhh...Shit, baby!"

"You OK?"

"Oh my god! Yes, I'm OK!"

"How's that feel?"

"Oh my god! It feels so fucking good!"

I stayed like that for a moment, my cock inside her ass.

I gulped. "And to think, I haven't even started fucking your ass yet."

Mercedes laughed, even as she moaned lustfully. "Well, come on, baby, fuck my ass!"

Once my cock was actually inside her ass, it was necessary to move slowly. Here the lube also helped.

My cock slid smoothly and easily inside her ass. God, she had a tight ass.

Mercedes gasped and dug her nails in my couch. "Aaahhh! Aaaahhh!"

"Yeah...you like that?"

"Oh god!" Mercedes gasped and panted. "I fucking love it!"

I grunted as I fucked her, slow and easy. "Shit...you have... a tight...ass."

"Damn right I do, baby!"

I grinned through my grunts. "Best ass I've ever had."

Mercedes giggled as she gasped. "Shit! You damn right, baby! Oh shit... oh, shit!"

Ironically, it was easier to last longer. I wasn't sure why that was, but I wasn't looking a gift horse in the mouth, either.

Ten minutes later, a record for me, I could feel major tightness in my balls building up.

"Shit," I grunted. "I'm gonna cum!"

"Ooohhh, yes, baby! Cum in my ass!"

I managed to last about a minute or two longer, then I explosively came inside her ass.

I groaned out loud as I came.

Mercedes urged me on. "Oh, shit! Yes, come inside me! Yes! Yes!"

I groaned several times as I came. I gulped air, trying to get my breath back. Damn, that was a powerful orgasm.

I exhaled through pursed lips. "Holy shit..."

Mercedes grinned. "I know, huh, baby!"

"Give me... a minute..."

"That's OK, baby. Take your time."

A few moments later, I pulled my spent, happy cock out of her ass. Then I went to the bathroom to throw the condom away, and finally came back out to the living room and got dressed again.

By that time, Mercedes had her dress back on, and was sitting on the couch, barefoot.

I plopped back down on the couch next to her. "Holy shit."

"Is my baby satisfied?"

I cracked a grin, although it was a weary one. "Yeah. But what about you? How did you like that?"

"I'm glad you were the one to pop my anal cherry."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, baby." She leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I relaxed back against the couch cushions. Slowly I got my breath back. I looked up at the ceiling. "Wow. That was intense."

"I know. But now at least we have a way to blow off steam, so to speak."

"So to speak."

We both laughed.

Then Mercedes said, "So when do you start the Academy?"

"Three or four weeks, like I said."

"Good. Then we can seriously talk about getting married."

"You're not going?"

"No, baby. I'm not going."

I grinned and kissed her. "Good. Cause I got something to give you."

"What is it?"

"Hang out here for a second. Be right back." I got up from the couch and went down the hall to the bedroom. I quickly located my grandmother's necklace that she had willed to me.

Then I went back to the living room and sat next to Mercedes.

"What is it, Zach?"

I held it up so she could see it, a silver ring in between a fine-gauge silver chain. "It's my grandmother's."

"Are you serious? I can't wear this."

"Of course you can. I wouldn't give this to just anyone."

"No, I guess not. That was a stupid thing to say."

"Let me put it on."

Mercedes held her hair up, while I put the necklace around her neck and clasped the chain.

Then I said, "What do you think?"

"I love it, it's beautiful. I can wear this instead of my dad's cross. That man is still on my shit list."

"I kind of still thought so. You can wear this as long as you want."

Mercedes kissed me. "I love you, baby."

"Love you, too."

"I can't wait till we can get married."

"Me, too. Counting the days."

"Just always remember, you can talk to me. Okay?"

"Okay. I will."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. Let's get dinner started. I'm hungry."

"Yeah. Me, too."