Inheritance Ch. 01

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Nox661
Nox661
233 Followers

He could feel their mental stress building, if he didn't let them cum soon they might very well go insane so horny where they. He increased his pace pounding into the older woman as hard as he could while pulling her daughter to him pressing her bare sweaty body against his; he could feel his balls start to tighten and knew he would cum soon. Releasing both of their mental block all three came at the same time, the daughter collapsed on top of her mother while Trent emptied his load inside the muscles of the older woman's pussy milking his cock of every last drop of cum until it was flowing out from between her legs. Trent collapsed on the other side enjoying the afterglow of sex. Sending out another mental command the daughter got up and spreading her mother's legs proceeded to clean all of his cum out from inside with her tongue which caused the older woman to cum again now that the blocks had been removed. The younger woman's task now complete she lay beside them both her and Trent resting their heads on her mother full firm breasts. Trent fell asleep on the older woman's warm flesh.

Nox661
Nox661
233 Followers
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5 Comments
C_frommnC_frommnover 14 years ago
Good Start

Can't Wait to See how Mother and Daughter take it After Waking Up. and what about the Neighbor now that He knows how strong his Power is he will certainly want to Start a Harem and Daughter and Neighbor seem to be a Good Start.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Content over english

Good content noxie, mighty good content. Literary skills need developing somewhat but I'm sure you're on the road to improvement in that category. You can start by putting that little black dress back on the neighbor or better yet a black string bikini and ... well, I'll let you do the writing and me the commenting. Cheers.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
misspellings

Too many misspellings; finely = finally, is = his, that type of thing. Get another pair of eyes to proofread it before you submit. This can be a great series, just maintain control of your build rate and don't let things get out of hand too early.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Not quite

You have an interesting base, but you aren't using it to it's full potential yet - so far it just seems run-of-the-mill. And you haven't really hooked my interest in your main character. But I'm not partial to power-drunk individuals with so little apparent self control; I like them a bit sneakier and discreet. The grammer snags & pov changes are slightly distracting. I'll probably read another chapter before I'd decide to continue or drop the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
a little more action please

you have a good thing going here, but you brought it to an end to quickly. It can be continued, but expand it some, make the reader want more every time they read the next chapter.

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