Initiation

"Come," the blonde, said her voice soft and sultry.

In the mirrors he watched his two guardians leave him, closing and locking the door behind them as they went. He walked forward towards the blonde who massaged her breasts with soapy suds. The nuns in the corner remained motionless, their eyes staring madly, though they appeared to be focusing not on their surroundings but on something within their own minds. It was obvious that they were in some form of meditative trance and that this led to a very heightened state of self-awareness.

He was familiar with esoteric teachings that portrayed this idea of self-awareness, it was known under different names; awakening, self-awareness, self-remembering, mindfulness, watching, self-consciousness. They all meant the same, a heightened state of awareness of the part of the being that watched all internal and external phenomena. And here he was standing naked in a bathroom with four apparently awakened nuns. As he realised the enlightened state of the nuns he felt a warmness suddenly rise within himself. It started at his genitals and then proceeded to simultaneously to descend down his legs, into his feet and rise up through his chest and into his shoulders, then down his arms and into his hands and fingertips whilst simultaneously ascending into his head. His astral body became incredibly strong and present. Looking about him he could also see the astral bodies of the three water nymphs, each one a beautiful and lovely soft pink, indicating he thought the depths of their spiritual love. It was almost as though time itself was coming to a halt. He reached the edge of the bath and then began to descend the steps. The water was warm and his feet and legs tingled as he gradually submerged himself. When his genitals touched the water his loins and body shuddered as though he were undergoing a mini psychic orgasm.

As he took the final steps into the centre of the bath the three water nymphs moved toward him and encircled him. In unison their hands touched his body and he let himself slide back into the water that proved to be incredibly buoyant.

"Close your eyes and your journey to the world you have been seeking all your life, shall truly commence." Her voice was soft and he looked into her green eyes and felt nothing but love, empathy and compassion for him.

"At last," he said to no one in particular, "I have found peace."

IV

In his dream he was swimming beneath the waves with three beautiful mermaids. The water was clear warm and full of exotic and strange creatures. The further he descended the less chance he knew he'd have for returning to the world from whence he'd come. But the mermaids had seduced him and he was now himself changing. His legs began to merge into one, his genitals withdrew into his body and he felt his internal organs adapt to the obstacle of underwater existence. Suddenly the nearest mermaid swam up to him and kissed him on the lips. As she did so he felt a new sensation pass through his transforming body. His legs had now become one long scaly tail and his need to breath in oxygen was replaced with an ability to breathe underwater. Below him a sudden darkness began to appear, but still he descended, following the three mermaids until he could see neither them nor any other creature. Then, suddenly he was back in the body of a human. Panic struck as he gasped for air, his legs and arms thrusting out in a vain attempt to reach the distant surface. Suddenly the nearest mermaid swam toward him. He signalled to her for help, but she merely returned his gaze with a long and sinister smile. Suddenly with a rapid thrust of her tail she set upon him, razor sharp talons and shark-like teeth tearing into his flesh, drawing blood and causing fatal damage. Within moments he was falling uncontrollably into the deeper and ever growing darkness, blood spewing from gaping wounds, a signal for other bottomless creatures to feast upon another casualty of the watery depths.

He awoke with a start, sweat covered and disturbed by the dream sequence that he'd just undergone. He took a deep breath, held it and then breathed out long and hard. Clearly the dream had been archetypal, but what did it mean exactly? He wondered. Glancing about him he momentarily forgot the nightmare as he took in his surroundings. It was still dark, but thick heavy velvet curtains had been closed so it was likely that the darkness was merely an effect of the closed curtains rather than an indication of the real time of day. He was lying in a four-poster bed, but didn't recollect coming to this room, or getting himself into bed. He remembered getting into the bath with the three water nymphs. There had been others in the room, yes, four nuns all standing in a pose of self-awareness. He'd let himself lie back and the water had proved extremely buoyant, the nymphs had massaged him and then all was vague. Something about the nuns dancing around him, had they discarded their robes? They had made love to one another and he remembered wishing he could join in, but he was strapped to a wall, again helpless before the vision of desire, someone had kissed him, a tongue had lapped at his manhood. A hot cream stung as it was massaged into his body, his mind felt afire. His astral was so strong and he'd been lifted out of his body, ascending upwards towards the light until he had lost his sense of self and become one with it and then there was no more.

He relaxed back in his bed. The aches and pains of his body had for once actually gone. Breathing in he noticed that even the tightness in his chest had seemed to disappear. Lifting the covers a little he looked down at his member. Strange to think that the evening before he had been under the control of a group of very attractive women, who could have done anything they wanted with him. God what a turn on he thought to himself. "They must have known, because I had a hard on for most of it." He said grinning to himself.

His thoughts returned to the dream trying to find an explanation. Three mermaids take him into the depths, he transforms and then suddenly turns back into human form and is devoured by the monsters. Clearly it was archetypal, the great depths being the unconscious, the mermaids being guides on his journey. But then they had devoured him. But only after he had turned back into human form. Of course! It directly relates to my current journey. If I turn back to the ways of the uninitiated I will be devoured by my subconscious and its lies, symbolised by the shark-like mermaid, but if I accept the transformation then I will be able to continue onwards and finally achieve a level of spiritual transformation, which is akin to me being a creature and inhabitant of the world beyond the world.

V

Pulling back the covers he quickly got out of bed and went over to the window to see if it was indeed daylight, there were no clocks in the room so he had to rely on his intuition and what he could see of the sun. Pulling back the curtains daylight poured into the room. It was overcast and the cloud seemed to remain motionless as though hanging heavily above the house and grounds. His room had a view of the rear gardens and he stood there for a moment looking out over the lawns. Involuntarily he shivered and glanced back into the room his eyes intent on locating some clothes, less he end up with a chill which wouldn't bode too well.

Turning back he made his way over to the wardrobe which was situated by the door. It was empty except for a plain black robe, which he decided was easily better than nothing at all. So he pulled it on over his head and shoulders. At first it seemed to fit perfectly, but then he realised that it was crotchless. Looking behind him he saw that the behind had also been cut out, exposing the wearers loins and backside. The previous evening he'd found it a turn on, but even this was pushing it a bit too far and there was little chance of maintaining any dignity when the only clothing he could find was a crotchless black robe.

Accepting his predicament he wandered back over to the window and continued his survey of the grounds. The gardens themselves looked pretty spectacular with circular and square-shaped flowerbeds positioned in-between either small streams with stepping stones serving as pathways or sections of short cut grass. A large seven sided pond was positioned further away, with a huge phallus shaped conifer tree centred upon an island in its centre. Beyond that various statues carved in stone were positioned within a hedged maze and beyond that a wood where he spotted a few horse riders riding in an out of the trees. A knock at his door brought him back to his immediate environment.

"Come in." He said.

The door was pushed open and a young Spanish maid entered carrying a tray of food.

"I have brought you breakfast," she said in an appropriate Spanish accent her attention focused on the breakfast tray.

"Thank you." He said aware immediately of the predicament of his exposure and pulling his robe around so that he was no longer exposed. She was another stunningly attractive woman, just like most of the women here he thought to himself.

"Am I not allowed to eat in the dining room then?"

"No." She replied, her answer short and directly to the point.

As she lent forward to put the tray down on the dressing table to the left of his bed, he noticed her dress rise up a little and could just see her stocking tops. He felt sleazy but slightly aroused.

Once the tray was safely placed she turned to look at him "You not supposed to be wearing that," she said indicating to his robe.

"But there is nothing else for me to wear," he protested, "I don't know where my clothes are and no one has provided me with anything suitable, I've…" he cut himself off, not wishing to divulge his continual naked status to a mere maid.

"You supposed to be naked until they ready to give you clothes." She said looking him directly in the eye, "you take it off now, before the Sisters catch you, they not like you wearing clothes until you are ready."

Her manner was far more authoritarian than he would have expected from a maid perhaps this was another test.

"Anyway, you like not having clothes on in front of women." The maid said seemingly more aware of his sexual desires than he would have expected, "you like having your willy exposed before woman. But you take it off now, or you get us both into trouble."

If this was a test what was the correct action to take he quickly thought to himself. If he took it off, he was submitting himself even to a supposedly lowly maid, if he didn't then he was proving his masculinity, the dominance of the male over the female and so far the scenario had been that the male had to submit before the female. The symbolism was clear the passivity of the masculine principle itself representing the ego to the passivity of the feminine representing the hidden spiritual self.

"You take it off now," the maid repeated taking a step towards him.

"I'm just thinking" He said looking at her and deducing that she would most likely win one way or another.

"You take it off before I get into trouble." She said still moving towards him.

"Okay, okay," he said gambling on whether or not he was being tested, but even if he wasn't he knew that her words were true and he really did relish the idea of being naked before a clothed woman. He began to pull the robe over his head just as the maid reached him. She stopped and waited for him to disrobe. When he was naked she put out her hand for him to pass her the robe. As she waited, she took a long and deliberately slow look over his body, ensuring that he was aware of her gaze. Her eyes lingered for a long time on his manhood and he watched her lightly flick her tongue over her lips before she caught his gaze once more and smiled. His face went red and he could feel his heart again beat a little faster, his cock twitched and she looked back down at it as it slowly and involuntarily rose to attention.

"You not had release yet." She said taking the final step towards him so that her body was touching him, "you be patient," she said her voice softer now as she reached down and took his manhood in her hand, "but no masturbation, you keep seed inside you." She said squeezing him tightly. She let him go and with his discarded robe in hand, left the room.

He heard a key turn and be withdrawn from the lock and then he was left in silence. He was still hard and without thought took himself in hand. He felt so aroused, but had found nothing but erotic teasing from a lot of extremely sensual and dominant women. His hand moved along his shaft, slowly at first then rapidly increasing in pace as he realised how much he needed release. Another sound at the door startled him, but despite the sound of a key being inserted and turned indicating an imminent intrusion he couldn't stop himself. The door opened and he looked over, still wanking himself as two young women quickly strode into the room. Their clothes startled him as they both wore green combat trousers; black well polished army boots, white sleeveless T-shirts and black berries. For all intents and purposes they could have been straight out of a Para-military organisation. His heart beat faster as they took swift confident strides across the room to him. The one that reached him first yanked his hand away from his cock.

"You're not supposed to be doing that." She said in an American accent. She was young, 18 most likely but possibly a little older.

"No masturbation." The second one said in what sounded like a light Jamaican accent giving his hand a slap.

"Oh god," he said, "please I'm almost bursting."

"No masturbation." The lightly bronzed Jamaican repeated as she gripped his other wrist. He saw a third female enter, clothed in similar attire, save that her berry was red instead of black. He presumed it meant that she was in a higher position of authority than the other two. In her hand was a long chain which as soon as she was within reach she proceeded to use to cuff his hands behind his back.

"Oh not again, please." He said struggling. The two black berry's had obviously trained in some form of martial art as he found it impossible to struggle against them and so, was once again handcuffed and defenceless.

"If you cannot contain your own desires then we shall contain them for you." The red-berry said in a well-spoken English accent. "There is much to be done yet, before you get carried away by your desires and think what those words mean." She said instructing him in a manner that many would not understand. He looked at her and could see that she, like her two compatriots wore no bra underneath her tea shirt.

"We are not for you." She said aware of his gaze. "There will be time enough in the future when you may again enjoy the consort of many that you see before you, but for now you must go without." She nodded to the two women holding him and they pulled him back onto the bed. Either he hadn't noticed or they had been hidden, but two more cuffs were then attached to his wrists, the former cuffs having a locking chain mechanism that upon release enabled his arms to stretch outwards. As his wrists were bound to the bed, the officer in charge bound his ankles in turn.

"Now, we will see how strong your self control really is." She said, looking from his now declining penis to his eyes. And with that he was once more left alone.

VI

Silently he awaited the next test, but no one came and he was left bound and naked upon the four poster bed. Now and again he heard voices, laughter, a car or motor vehicle start up and drive off. The birds sang their final chorus of the day as daylight progressed through dusk into darkness and the light in his room was chased away by the onset of night. He remained undisturbed and eventually drifted into a deep and dreamless sleep.

"Paul, Paul," the voice spoke gently, urging him out of his sleep. "Paul." The third call brought him back to consciousness. Sitting beside him on the bed was the beautiful Mistress that had presided over his initiation. In contradistinction to her earlier more dominant and erotic form of clothing, she wore a long black baggy woollen dress that served to hide the contours of her body.

"Who are you?" He asked, his mind still subconsciously questioning the validity of this whole experience. His bindings had been undone and he was lying underneath the covers though he was still naked.

"I am here to remind you of your past."

"My past?"

"Have you forgotten already? Surely you cannot have forgotten the path that you have followed?"

"No, I've tried to forget," he said feeling somewhat like an actor in a tragedy.

"You mustn't forget, that is your path and it has led you to us. Few succeed in this journey, but within you lies the seed of greater awareness. It is up to you to utilise it."

"I was looking for this my whole life, but I thought it was just a fantasy, another day-dream."

"There is much for you to do, though you do not realise this. That is why you are here. But you have a question for me."

A question? His mind went blank as he tried to think what it was that he wanted to know. If she really was a genuine Mistress and had passed through the Abyss then it was important to ask a meaningful question, rather than one that he could determine the answer for himself.

"It has been difficult to adjust to a life without the Left. There is something wrong and I cannot seem to transfer from the Old Path to the New. The Old has left such a deep impression upon me. But I could never fully walk it, still there was something in the way. What is it?"

"You know the answer to your question even when you ask. So why ask a question you already know the answer to? Why not ask what you really need to know?"

He thought about her answer, aware of the truth in her words and the fact that despite his insight he'd still asked the wrong question. He did know what had prevented him both in the past and in the present. It was within him as it was within all who lived. That being that the knowing Christians had called Satan. Those of the Left who had known the truth also had a name for him though it varied from group to group.

"How do I overcome it?"

"That is what we are here for. We are here to show you the way across the abyss and past the demon that has ruled you all your life. Here, I give you a gift. Hold out your hand."

He did as instructed and she passed him a pendant and chain.

"This will mark the path for your future, do not forget your past." She said suddenly getting up from the bed. She made for the door, glancing back at him as he looked at the gift she had given him. In his hand he held a circular piece of gold metal inscribed upon which was a triangle and within that the Greek words 'En To Pan'.

"All is One." He said out loud as the door closed behind the Mistress and she smiled at the two sisters waiting in the hallway.

"The first stage is nearing completion." She said.

"Will he be ready for the final stage?" The first one asked.

"He will, he knows enough already to undergo the change."

"He just needs the guidance." The second sister said.

"Guidance and discipline."

"Yes, he needs to know his place."

"That is what we are here for my sister," the Mistress said, "to show men their place in the scheme of the Creator."

"May Sophia guide our school."

VII

He sat and thought for a while. He'd been led here by an attractive and strange brunette who he'd met in an empty church. He'd been tricked, stripped, bound, humiliated, aroused and initiated all without a question of whether he wanted to or not. He was it had seemed an unwillingly victim in a sorority's sex game. But that was merely a surface impression. Clearly they knew what made him tick, especially when it came to sex, but they also knew about the mysteries. The eyes of the nuns, the words of the Mistress, the symbolism of the ritual and now the pendant, symbolising among other things the endlessness of the Great Being, the achievement of crossing the abyss, internal and external wholeness and unity. All of this seemed to indicate that they knew a lot more than a lot of other occult groups and hadn't he looked for long enough to try and find a genuine group? And he'd found one, maybe two. But even one of them had proved to be based in fantasy and he'd travelled a long way down that road, lying to himself as he went, but happy and content to live in his fantasy world. But here, this was a different matter. Here there was certainly a potential for something far greater…